Selling My Soul for My Kids

Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours

“If you come up with the money by then, you won’t have to leave,” said Mr. Evansly on the other end of the phone. “Business is business. It’s not personal,” he said.

“But you said you would give me another month! What happened? What changed?” I asked. He paused for a moment before answering.

“Look, I have a family to take care of also. I’ve given you extension after extension—”

“Please, Mr. Evansly. I can’t come up with $2700 in a week. I don’t have anywhere to go. I have three babies here!’ I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks.

“There might be some programs out there to help you, but I just can’t give you another extension. Come up with the money, and you can stay.”

“Mr. Evansly—” He hung up the phone before I could finish the statement.

I looked at my cell phone as I processed the fact that my kids and I were one week away from being on the streets. Then I looked up at the ceiling and screamed at the top of my lungs. It started the triplets and Zara started crying. I didn’t have it in me to comfort her at the moment. I was the one who needed comfort, but I knew it wasn’t coming.

There was no way I would be able to take care of my kids on the street. Even if I found another job right away, I wouldn’t get paid in time. Considering the fact that I was an uneducated woman with a limited schedule, I also wouldn’t land a job that paid enough for me to pay my rent anyway. A job wasn’t the answer.

I opened up my banking app on my phone. I had $67.23 in my account. That’s a start, I thought. Only $2,632.77 to go.

Only that wasn’t exactly true. I need to buy food and gas. If I didn’t have the triplets, I would just walk where I needed to go, but I did have them, and walking wasn’t an option. I deducted $20 from my bank balance, so I had $47.23 to start. Ten dollars for food and ten dollars for gas. If I shopped at Dollar Tree, I could get two of their cheapest boxes of cereal, two packs of ramen noodles, a loaf of bread, and a dozen eggs. That would leave just enough to get a gallon of milk from the corner store. It certainly wasn’t a healthy diet, but it was one that would feed my kids for the next week until I could figure this mess out.

Thinking about the budget made me feel like I was taking control of my situation. I walked into the bedroom where I had a piggy bank sitting on the shelf. I knew there were only pennies in it, but it was still money. I dumped the pennies out on the bed and counted them. They only added up to $1.08. I sighed. That put me at $48.31.

My next stop was going to be the pawn shop. I looked around the apartment at the few things I had that might be worth something. The television. It was a 50-inch Samsung smart television from my old life, when Chris was alive. Surely that could be worth something.

Next, my laptop. I liked playing games on it to relax, but it wouldn’t do me any good without electricity.

I remembered that there were a few of Chris’s tools in the closet. I could take those. There were two other things—things that were more valuable than all of the others put together. My wedding ring and engagement ring. The thought of selling them broke my heart, but it would save my children as Chris had demanded of me.

I gathered all the stuff into the middle of the living room floor. I had to take a chance on leaving the triplets in the apartment alone briefly as I loaded the stuff in the trunk of my car. They were such good kids, and I usually didn’t have to worry about them misbehaving when I turned my back. That time was no different.

I loaded the triplets in the car, each of them in a booster seat. I got in the car and headed to the pawn shop. By the time I got there, I was in a bit of a better mood, that is until the pawnbroker, whose name was Jerry according to his nametag, told me that he could only give me $800 for everything.

“Six hundred dollars?” I said. “Those rings cost $4000 by themselves!”

“That may be what you paid, but we have to turn a profit here. They’re not worth that much anymore, and the other stuff you have is barely worth anything. In all honesty, $800 is a generous offer.” Jerry looked at me and shrugged his shoulders.

I felt so defeated. That wasn’t even close to what I needed. I felt tears welling in my eyes. I will not cry in front of this man I thought to myself. I closed my eyes, fought back the tears and opened them.

“Can you at least do a thousand?” I asked.

Jerry pursed his lips together and c****d his head to the side. Then he let out a sigh. “I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Jerry, listen. I have kids. This is an emergency. I really need this and, let’s be honest, you’d be getting a bargain at only a thousand dollars. Please work with me,” I said.

Jerry looked at me as if he were analyzing me. Then he looked around the shop. I thought that was weird because there was no one else in there. “Look, $800 is all I can do for this stuff, but, if you’re really desperate, there is a way to bump it up to $1000.”

“Yeah? ” I asked with obvious hope in my voice.

“You know, you scratch my back, I scratch yours,” he said.

I didn’t understand what he was saying. I frowned and waited for him to explain.

“I can see you’re desperate,” he said. It was the second time he said that, and I suddenly felt goosebumps popping up on my arms. “I see women like you come in here all the time. You’re about to get kicked out so you’re trying to get money to pay rent, right?”

I was shocked. Did I really look that desperate?

“So, if you want that extra $200, you can do something for me to earn it,” he said with a devilish look on his face. “A few minutes on your knees if you know what I mean.”

My heart dropped. He’s propositioning me for s*x! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“What the f…” I stopped myself, remembering that the kids were standing there. “You can’t be serious right now! I’m not that type of woman. I would never—I could report you for that! I could get you locked up!”

“Your word against mine,” he said. “If you really want the money, and now I’m talking about all of it, you’ll do something for me. Otherwise, grab your crap and leave.”

This time, I couldn’t stop the tears. “Why are you doing this? Do you take advantage of people…women like this all the time?”

“Aw, stop crying,” he said. “It’s not going to help. No one has to know. You take care of me, I’ll take care of you. That’s how life works missy.”

I needed that money. There was no way I could walk out of that shop without it. I looked at my kids. Save them.

“They can wait in my office. They’ll be fine in there for a few minutes.” He smiled a phony smile at them and gestured towards his office. “I’ll even put the tv on for ‘em.”

I shuffled the kids into the office. They sat down together on the floor. “Stay here for just a few minutes and watch tv. Don’t touch anything,” I said. “Mommy will be right back.” They nodded their heads and turned towards the tv. Jerry closed the door and locked it. Then he led me to a storage room.

He flipped on the light. It was dimly lit and there was a light buzzing noise that started when he turned on the light. He closed the door behind us and my anxiety level skyrocketed. I couldn’t believe I was about to…do what I was about to do for money. Save them. Save them.

Jerry started grinning as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. He was already halfway hard. “C’mon missy, the kids are waiting,” he said. I got down on my knees in front of him. I frowned as I looked at it. Just get it over with I thought. Just do it and get the money.

Fifteen minutes later I walked out of the pawn shop with my kids and $1000 in cash. I’d never felt so dirty in my life.