Phoenix: rise from death. **COMPLETED**

#11 I'm in

I turned around abruptly clutching the towel around my body. there he stood just looking at me unsure of what to say. he touched my shoulder like it would go through me. like I was a ghost. a figment of his imagination. "I won't disappear on you." he looked startled at me his jaw clenched as he took me in.

his breathing was rapid. I coukd see his chest rise and fall. he brought his hand to his face still in shock as his free hand came to mine. I felt his fingers brushing my cheek taking me in with every breath. his eyebrows c****d and I coukd see the shock turning to confusion. " Angel?" it was a question and a statement all at the same time. there before me stood Jacob. I stepped closer to him closing a portion of the gap we had between us.

"Beta Jacob. it's been a long time." I let my words sink in as he stood there. the room was filled with intense emotions and I wasn't sure how to read everything that was crossing his face. it seemed like he was wrestling himself o. if he should believe it was me or not amd what that actually meant to him. no doubt he amd Carla had become a couple amd this just three a wrench in whatever they had going on. there was something about the way he touched me that made me close my eyes and long for more. I knew I needed to get that desire out of my mind. I couldn't take that away from Carla. she deserved to be happy and I wasn't about to ruin that for her or that sweet little girl they were raising. hos scent was overwhelming to me. he smelled of the woods after the rain and it was intoxicating.

I saw a tear slip from his eyes as he took me into his arms. his nose was warm against my neck and I could feel him breathe in. "my wolf is going crazy in my head and I'm not sure what to do. he says you are our mate Angel. but I saw you die. I saw it all?"

I stepped back out of his arms and saw the hurt in his eyes. I didn't eat to hurt him. I just refused to take away what he and Carla had. "I can't be your mate. you and Carla..." his fingers brushed my lips.

"Carla and I aren't together. everyone knows us as brother and sister. how? how are you here?" I won't lie. utter relief exploded over me.

he brushed my wet hair back from my face and his head came softly to my forehead resting there while he took me in. "I was given a second chance."

"it's been three years. I watched your body turn to ashes. I cried every single night for you. I prayed for you. I failed you." his cheeks were wet now. his eyes red and blotchy.

"the moon Goddess took her time. you didn't fail me. I failed myself. I should have gottennout of there. I never should have stayed." I felt his lips brush against mine and my eyes automatically closed. my wolf was howling wanting him to kiss us and take us as his. I could feel the mate pull. I could feel his wolf searching mine out and mine searching for his trying to connect. I whispered softly waiting for him to claim me as his. "how are you my mate when Christopher is still alive?"

"I knew you felt it too. you are my mate Angel. maybe the moon Goddess severed the bond between you and Christopher when you died? it's the only thing I can think of. " his lips were so soft inwanted to taste them as the desire built up inside of me. before I realized it his lips came crashing down on mine taking me hard against his chest as he deepened the kiss between us. I parted my lips allowing him access to explore my mouth. he tasted so delicious. everything I could ever want. it was different than when I first met Christopher. with Christopher there was no real connection or desire. he didn't truly want a mate but took me out of a need. my hand snaked around the back of his head and tangled into his delicious locks as one hand held my towel covering my body. his chest was hard and the scent of my arousal filled the room. he pulled back slightly his voice was filled with desire and pain. it was mixed into every fiber of his being. the pain of losing me still evident and the desire he had for me right now filled the space we created.

I had dreamed so many times of what it would be like to kiss those lips. begging to know what it would have been like to be mated to him instead of the monster that I was forced with. one thing was for sure though that mate or not I was never going to be a slave to that desire again. Good man or not I needed to be convinced this was a good thing and not just some way of making me a slave again. I would never allow anyone to male me feel worthless and incapable like I had before. no one would ever touch me the way Christopher had. not ever again. he could feel my hesitation. I wanted him no doubt but I was stronger than I used to be and reluctant to give in. "I can't stay. I have something I have to do."

he stepped back not letting his hand leave mine. "I know you don't trust the mate bond after everything that happened. I don't blame you. I promise I will do everything to prove to you that I would never make you submit to me like Christopher did. we would be equals in life. I wouldn't want anything else."

it wasn't that I couldn't feel his sincerity. I could. I could feel it to the core of my soul and my heart flipped a little when he did say them but how could I pull him into my mess. I had plans to kill Christopher and it felt wrong to accept the mate bond and drag him in after he escaped. I closed my eyes so I didn't see his face. his beautiful face that I wanted to kiss so badly. "I can't accept the mate bond knowing what I was brought back to do. maybe after I can have a life but until I finish what I need to do I can't drag you into my life. it's a mess right now and I am still trying to figure out how to pick myself back up." I could feel his panic. hos sheer determination to get me to accept him.

I felt tingles Dan e across my cheek as his fingers grazed my skin. his hot breath was near my ear. I felt an explosion of fire in my body. this was a cruel twist of fate. how was I supposed to do my job when all I wanted was to stay here with him? "tell me what it is. I will help you. I will do whatever it takes. I woukd even kill Christopher myself if that meant you accept me right now." he pulled me to his chest holding me tightly against his abs. I could feel them under his clothes. my brain was foggy. the mate bond was stronger with him then it ever was with Christopher and I was fighting within myself and with my wolf to keep my head on. "please Angel. I'm begging you. I let you down once but I promise to never let you down again. "

I'm not sure what it was that made me tell him everything. I knew he wouldn't betray my trust. I knew I needed to tell someone about what has happened. so I spilled myself to him. "and when I am done killing him I plan on helping the rogues. my parents are there amd so is Scott and Damien."

I could see the different emotions pouring through his face. he let the words I told him slip through his mind and settle in. revenge had been a blanket for me. something that brought me comfort in the dark cave. it kept me going when I thought I couldn't. now here I stood in a motel asking my new mate to accept what I have to do and let me go. would it even be possible to have a life after everything I needed to do? I had to wonder if it was even possible for me to come back and settle down like it never happened. "I'm going to help you but I want you to accept me." shock. I must have dropped my mouth open because it made him chuckle at me. he still wanted me even after I told him everything I had to do and had been doing.