Phoenix: rise from death. **COMPLETED**

#14 carla

I got up off of Jacob and we made our way to the shower in the bathroom. I needed to feel the water on my body washing away the dirt from the cave. it felt like I was melting my past with every drop. my first order of business would be seeing Clara. I needed to talk with her and let her know that I loved her. I wanted to meet my niece. my precious saving Angel. the one that would keep me grounded. I was going to do this for her. she needed a future. she needed safety and i was here and was the one person who could give her that. I would protect her from Christopher and make sure she could grow up with love. Love was something Christopher could never give her. he would use her for his own gain. I stepped out of the shower toweling off and dressing quickly still deep inside my thoughts. everything was weighing on me dragging me down. it was a heavy feeling. I knew I could do this but taking someone's life was no easy thing. it changes a person. I remember the first time Christopher killed. it was like something had snapped in him and whatever good he had in him disappeared. there wasn't a bit of humanity left in him afterwards. maybe he could have been saved a long time ago but he was lost now. a long distant memory. he was cold and his soul was gone a long time ago.

Jacob could sense my perplexity. my thoughts wandering between what I needed to do and what I wanted to do. "tell me what is wrong baby."

I snapped back to reality. his arms were around me and his head was nuzzle into my neck taking in my smell. "I want to see Clara. " he stood straight up and I could feel his body stiffen. "do you not want me too?"

his brow c****d up and he looked sad. "it's just that.." he trailed off pausing for a moment. ibwas confused at his behavior. I stepped out of his arms and he looked hurt. I didn't care how he felt at that moment. I wanted to see my best friend. "Angel you don't understand. she still has a hard time with everything. I can sometimes hear her waking up screaming in the middle of the night. she didn't take your death easily."

I stepped further out of his grasp. anger was rising inside of me. "do you think I took my death very well? I'm here now. I can't help what happened in my past or that I died but I am here now. you can make whatever excuse you want but she is the closest thing I have to a sister and I need to see her."

he stepped in my direction closing the distance I had created between us. I put my hand up stopping him from moving closer. I needed to keep my head clear and his close proximity would distract me from what I needed to say. he sighed exasperated. a look of defeat on his face. "I'm not trying to keep you from her. I just want you to understand how fragile she still is. Angel is the only thing that keeps her going. losing you almost killed her." he reached out grabbing my hand and pulling me to his chest.

"so what. I can only see her on your terms?" stepping out of his arms again and away from him I made my stance clear. I was not going to be pushed around anymore. Carla was all I had in my life and I needed to talk to her. I needed to let her know how much I loved her as my family and I did not need any man telling me when or how I could do it. I had that in my past life and I didn't need it now. I could see the pain in his eyes. there was hurt that I wouldn't trust him and do what he said. he reached for me and I pulled away out of his reach. "no, I won't be told what to do like I had been before. she is my family and I won't have you or anyone dictate what I can and can not do or who I can see. not even you." I walked to the door of my room and opened it motioning for him to leave. I saw anger flash in his eyes.

he walked to the door. anger pouring off of him. he slammed it shut not walking out. a flash of memories from the past rolled through my head.

I was slammed against a wall. slumping down to the ground blood on my lips spewing from my nose. he was over me now. looking down at me as the anger took him over. "I told you no and you don't get to defy me!" Christopher's hot breath fanned across my cheek as he spoke. there was a stinging on my cheek as I felt his teeth sink into it. blood was on my hands and dress as I cried out begging him to stop.

"Christopher, please, I beg you. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to talk back to you. I will do whatever you say. whatever you want." I watched as he stood up smirking.

there was a sickness about the way he looked at me. I saw him unbutton his jeans as he pulled his rock hard erection. "anything I say right angel?"

I could hear someone calling out to me. I shook my head realizing where I was. inwas no longer innthat place. that place where Christopher had control of me or my actions. he was no longer allowed to take what he wanted. no man could anymore. mate or not. "Angel? did you hear me? I said Carla is on her way."

I looked around still dazed from my memories flashing. "i.I..um..." I closed my eyes for a second bringing myself back together. "you don't get to tell me what to do. no one gets to tell me what to do anymore."

"I promise. I won't ever do that again. I'm not leaving you either." I let him walk slowly to me and wrap his arms around me. he felt so safe. I never felt like this with Christopher. I never felt safe with him. "I'm sorry. I was trying to protect Carla and Angel and everything came out wrong. you are right. I don't have a right to tell you how to be or to see. I'm so sorry Angel. please believe me." I started crying while holding his shirt in my fist. that flashback had been so real.he whispered in my ear trying to soothe me as his hands moved up to my hair holding me closer to him. "I'm not him baby. I will never be like him."

"when you slammed that door..." I closed my eyes tightly trying to rid my mind of the memories of what he had done to me. "I flashed back to a time he hurt me. it was so real. it was like it was happening over again. I need to see Carla before I go to kill him. I'm not sure how this will end but I do know she needs to be free of the guilt I know she carries with her just in case."

"I know. I should have listened to you baby. I promise she is coming. I will leave you two to talk when she comes." I heard a small knock at the door of my room. Jacob pulled back and kissed my lips before releasing me. "are you ready Angel?"

I wasn't sure if I was ready. I wasn't sure of anything in this moment. the only rhi g I knew for sure was that I needed to see my best friend. to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I missed her and loved her. I coukd figure everything else out later as long as she knew what she meant to me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked at Jacob. he was standing there confused as I mulled over my thoughts. I smiled reaching out for his hand squeezing it. "I'm ready. as ready as I can be." he walked to the door pausing before opening it. I nodded and the door opened. there before me stood my only friend in life. the sister I never had. Carla was as beautiful as the day I had met her. she was older now but still so beautiful. she stood there not taking her eyes off of me unsure of what to do or say.

Jacob reached out pulling her gently inside my room. ibwatched as shock took over her body. I heard the door click as it closed. Jacob had left us here alone. "Angel?" it was like a tidal wave of emotions that poured onto her face as she tried to understand how I could be here with her now. "y-you died?" it was part question and part statement as her voice quivered.

I closed my eyes and then opened them trying to will myself to be strong in this moment. "Carla," I whispered out. "I was given a second chance. I don't know what to say. I missed you."

"you don't hate me after what you saw?" tears were forming down her cheeks now and she looked down in shame.

I came rushing to her engulfing her with my embrace. "I know what he did to you. I'm so sorry I wasn't stronger for you. I could never hate you. you are my family Carla.i love you."