Journey to the Place She Belongs

Her Decision

After a long shower, Lilyan slipped into a pair of cotton underwear and a large t-shirt then climbed into her bed. She reached for her bag and went to pull out her binder. The papers Zayd had signed fell out onto her lap. She picked them up and sighed, scanning over the document. She was still uncertain of what her decision would be. It was already late November. Skipping a grade halfway through the school year would be difficult. However, it would mean she would get to spend more time with Zayd.

She shook the thought from her head. He shouldn't be a contributing factor to this decision. The biggest issue was her uncle. She was required to do the housework, prepare his meals, and was often the subject of his mood swings. Being able to take things easy at school and have a light workload when she did homework had become a necessity of her survival. She really couldn't afford the extra effort it would take to do more school work.

However, if she could manage it, she would finish school a year earlier than predicted. That would mean being able to leave sooner. All she had to do was find a low-cost college and earn a few scholarships and she could finally escape her uncle and never look back. If that didn't work, plan B was to just run away and get a job in a different town. She would file for emancipation once she was away. That way, he couldn't lash out at her when he was presented with the papers and he inevitably lost his temper. 

Either way, finishing a year sooner was definitely a good thing. Maybe it was worth the extra work if it meant she could escape sooner. She placed the papers in a pocket on the inside of her binder, her mind made up. She would give them to Mr. Johnson in the morning. Lilyan didn't know when they would advance her, but she was pretty sure she still had to finish the homework from her current classes, at least until they told her otherwise. She completed the few problems she hadn't had time to finish in class and then dug out the mythology book they were reading in literature.

After about an hour, she packed up her things, double-checked that her alarm was on, and then switched off the light. The sliver of moonlight that poured in through the basement window lit the way back to her mattress. She slipped under the blanket and tried to get some sleep.

The abrasive racket of the alarm jolted her awake. She slammed her hand down on the clock to silence it, then sat up and stepped onto the concrete floor. Digging around in her dresser, she found a pair of black jeans that had tears in the knees. At least they were her size. She pulled them on and then tossed her overly large nightshirt onto her mattress. She chose her black bra, slipping it on and clasping it behind her. She coupled the dark pants with a long-sleeved, baby blue sweater that hugged her torso. The neckline scooped down into a V. The sleeves were a little too long. They covered her palms, only leaving just her fingers exposed. She had a pair of black boots that came up over her ankles that she slid on. Making sure to tuck the pant legs into her boots, she laced them up and pulled them tight.

A quick look at the dresser mirror showed that she looked presentable. This outfit was "weather appropriate", at least. Her clock read 6:20 am. She rushed to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, then ran her brush through her hair before hurrying up the stairs. Halfway up, she remembered her bag and had to turn around. She grabbed it, then ran up the steps and out the front door.

Zayd was standing at the end of her driveway waiting on her. She waved, then swirled back around to lock the door. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she walked down the driveway and stopped in front of Zayd. His eyes looked her up and down.

“You're cute, you know that?” he smirked at her. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and blushed. Lilyan wondered if that meant he approved of the outfit. She didn't know how to respond to what he said, so she dropped her arms and shrugged, trying to ignore the strange feeling of satisfaction his compliment gave her. She turned and started walking towards the stop sign at the end of the road.

His hand slipped into hers, his long fingers wrapping around her hand. She looked up at him and tilted her head. The warmth from his touch was becoming a welcomed part of her day. However, she couldn't help but question why he did it. She kept waiting for some explanation of his kindness.

“Does this bother you?” he asked, glancing down at his hand. Tentatively, she closed her hand around his and shook her head.

“It's fine,” she mumbled. Her face heated and she focused on her feet. She heard him chuckle.

“So, did you decide what you're going to do?” he asked. She raised her eyes back to his.

“About?” she wondered.

“Your advancement,” he explained.

“Oh,” she muttered, “Yeah, I'm going to do it.” He grinned at her.

“That's great!” His happy remark made her smile. “What changed your mind, though?” he questioned her. She refused to tell him that spending more time with him had been one of her reasons.

“If I skip another grade, I can move away from my uncle sooner,” she shrugged. He furrowed his brows and exhaled through his nose. He was silent for a while. When they reached the sign, he finally spoke up again.

“You could always leave now,” he suggested. The sound of the bus approaching stopped her from responding. Zayd dropped her hand. When the bus came to a stop, he followed her up the steps. She made her way to her usual seat and placed her bag on the floor, expecting him to sit next to her. When he slid into the seat, he was wearing his lopsided grin.

“So,” he said, “would you leave now?” He was serious.

“I can't,” she stated. He shrugged one arm.

“You could,” he insisted calmly. He said it as if it were so simple.

“And where would I go?” she challenged him. He reached over to her lap and slid his hand under hers, wrapping his fingers around it again. He stared into her eyes and she found herself lost in his, the golden pools filled with earnestness.

“You could come stay with me,” he suggested softly. She blinked several times, but he never broke eye contact. He didn't smile or laugh. He was sincere and it stunned her.

“I can't,” she whispered. He smiled softly and let her hand go. The bus came to a stop to let on the next student on the route. It was the boy that spent the ride sleeping. He sat down a few seats ahead of them and then leaned against the window. He dozed off almost immediately. Zayd reached for her hand again and squeezed it reassuringly.

“If you ever change your mind, let me know,” he said.

“I'm underage,” she protested, “I don't know how things work wherever you came from, but there are laws that enforce me staying with him. I can't just leave. He would find me.” She shuddered, shaking away the disturbing thoughts of what exactly would happen if she pulled a stunt like that. He would be furious. Zayd let go of her hand and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his side. He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers.

“Just leave your uncle to me, okay?” he whispered, a devilish grin on his face. She scoffed out a laugh in disbelief. This kid was crazy. He was amusing, but he was insane. She shrugged.

“Sure,” she smiled, “I'll let you handle him.” Zayd sat back up and smirked to himself. He released his hold on her and placed his hands in his lap. She did the same, scooting closer to the window to put some space back between them. He filled the rest of the ride to school with small talk. She found herself contributing to the conversation instead of just letting him talk at her as she had done before.

“I meant to ask,” he said, “What's that?” He pointed to her chest and she felt her face go red. He chuckled. “The necklace,” he clarified.

“Oh,” she breathed. She pulled on the silver chain and lifted the necklace from under her shirt. “It's just a necklace,” she said, showing it to him. Hanging from the chain was a silver crescent, decorated by intricate engravings. There was a small blue gem nestled into the middle of the moon-shaped pendant. “I don't like people to see it,” she told him, “I'm afraid someone might want to steal it.” She pulled the neck of her sweater out an inch and let the necklace fall back into place between her breasts where it was safe.

She looked up to see him staring at her chest and swallowed, her cheeks heating again. He blinked and then smirked at her.

“Sorry,” he offered her, having the decency to sound contrite. She nodded in acknowledgment but didn't know what to say in response.

“It's very pretty,” he told her, “Where did you get it?”

“It was my mother's,” she answered.

“Why do you live with your uncle?” he asked. His voice was cautious.

“My mother died. Then so did my grandmother. The foster care system believes I belong with him,” she reported. He was quiet for a while. Lilyan had kept her voice flat and steady to keep from crying. It wasn't a subject she wanted to talk about.

“I'm sorry,” he murmured. She sighed softly and nodded ever so slightly.

“Why is he such a d**k?” he asked. Her eyebrows shot up and she had to stifle a laugh. He smirked at her reaction.

“I don't know,” she giggled, unable to hold back. No one had ever called her uncle anything like that before. People only knew him by the facade he put on. The bus came to a stop. She looked up and realized they had made it to school. Her grin faded, realizing she was about to turn in the papers that would change her current circumstances.

“You'll do fine,” he assured her in a low voice, “Besides, I told you that I would make sure it wasn't too hard, remember?” She nodded, even though she had no idea how he planned on doing that.

The aisle slowly emptied and they made their way off the bus. Zayd walked next to her, ignoring the whispers and pointing coming from the other students.

“Do you seriously not notice that?” she asked under her breath.

“It doesn't matter,” he replied with a grin, “They'll get bored eventually. Odd hair colors aren't very interesting. They're just curious because I'm new.” A thought hit her at that moment. She was about to be a new kid. Not to the whole school, but the junior class.

“It bothers me,” she mumbled, “I don't know if I could handle being the new kid again. Moving schools the first time was a pain. Maybe I shouldn't advance after all.”

“You're going to have to step outside of your comfort zone eventually,” he told her. She shrugged, feeling sorry for herself. They made their way through the halls and Zayd led her to the cafeteria. She hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. Her stomach grumbled.

“Hungry?” Zayd teased. She shot him a glare and marched ahead of him to get in line, attempting to hide her embarrassment. He followed close behind. Her meals were free through the school's program. The lunch lady that worked the cash register gave her an acknowledging nod as she passed by. Zayd however, paused to pull out a wallet from his back pocket and paid for his meal. Lilyan made her way to an empty table and sat down, placing her bag in the booth beside her. Once Zayd caught up, he sat opposite her and did the same.

“When did you eat last?” he asked, picking at a muffin on his tray and popping a piece of it into his mouth. She wasn't used to anyone eating with her and she suddenly felt self-conscious. She picked a tiny piece of her own muffin and lifted it to her lips, sliding it into her mouth as inconspicuously as she could.

“Lunch yesterday,” she mumbled, keeping her eyes on her tray of food. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to eat much, so she went slow, taking small bites. She ate a few grapes and a couple more bites that she tore off of her muffin. She avoided Zayd's gaze, even though she could feel him watching her. She managed to drink half of her orange juice before she felt too full to continue.

Lilyan opened her bag and put the half-finished bottle of juice, her untouched banana, and the unopened fruit cup inside for later. There wasn't a way for her to keep the rest of the muffin, so it was left on her tray. She zipped up her backpack and finally managed to meet Zayd's eyes. He looked concerned.

“That's all you're going to eat?” he questioned her. She gave a nod.

“I'm full,” she stated, “If I eat any more I'll make myself sick.” She saw that his tray was mostly empty, save for the containers and banana peel. He stood up and shouldered his bag, then grabbed both of the trays.

“Come on,” he instructed, “Let's get you to homeroom.” She stood and followed him to the trashcans where he disposed of the trash and deposited the trays in their designated area. She followed him out of the cafeteria. He easily weaved his way through the crowded halls, not bumping into anyone. Lilyan made sure to follow close behind to avoid being knocked over.

They made it to Mr. Johnson's class in record time. He turned to face her and gave her a reassuring smile. Her stomach was in knots.

“You've got this,” he told her. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, before turning and leaving in the direction they had come. She stood there for a moment, shocked. He had kissed her. Was that something friends usually did? Then again, she was mostly sure that Zayd was far from usual. She ignored her flushed face and opened the door to go inside.

She set her bag on her chair and pulled out her binder, placing it on her desk. She flipped it open and pulled out the signed forms, then made her way to the front of the room. Mr. Johnson wasn't in the classroom yet, so she laid the pages on his desk, returned to her seat, and waited.