Journey to the Place She Belongs

His Promise

More students entered the room, each one taking their seats. Some talked with their neighbors and others were scribbling furiously in their notebooks, most likely trying to finish their homework before the tardy bell. Lilyan flipped to a clean sheet of notebook paper in her binder and starting drawing in the margins. Soon, the room was full and most of the students had quieted down. The bell rang. She looked up and there was still no Mr. Johnson.

'Odd,' she thought. He had never been late to class before. Her peers started whispering to each other and looking behind them towards the door. Lilyan was keeping an eye on it as well. Several minutes passed before the door opened. Their teacher walked in, looking very tired.

“Good morning, everyone,” he yawned, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” Clutching a paper coffee cup in his hand, he made his way to his desk. After sitting down and turning on his computer, he rifled through the papers on his desk. A small smile seemed to lift his spirits. He looked up and found Lilyan watching him, then grinned. She saw several of the other students looking back at her. Most just looked over their shoulders, but some had completely turned in their seats to see what their tardy teacher was smiling about.

Lilyan leaned forward and sunk lower to her desk, letting her long hair fall in front of her face so she would have something to hide behind. She focused on her doodles, making a frame of loops and shapes around the lined page. After a moment, she peeked up through the curtain of her hair and saw that her peers were all facing forward again. Following their lead, she looked towards the front of the room and saw her teacher chugging his coffee. He stood up and went to the whiteboard and began writing out page numbers.

“Today we're just going to review what we have been studying this week. Read over these passages in the textbook and take notes if you need them. I think we all need an easy Friday today, don't you?” A few students agreed and others sighed with relief. “You will still be expected to turn in your homework,” he added without turning to face them. Groans could be heard throughout the room. Lilyan rolled her eyes at their reactions, taking her homework assignment out and passing it forward like everyone else.

The class went by slowly. She read the assigned pages from the history book within the first few minutes. There was no need for her to take more notes than she already had throughout the week. With nothing left to do, she continued drawing. After a few swirls and loops, she heard a muffled buzz come from her bag. Wanting to make sure no one noticed, she reached into her bag and grabbed the phone. She held it under her desk in her lap, then hit the volume down button to switch it to silent mode before opening the message.

'You finished already?' it read. Was he watching her? She looked behind her towards the door. The small rectangular window showed an empty hallway. Weird.

'Yes.' She sent her reply and decided to keep up appearances by continuing her doodles. She kept the phone in her lap and used it with only her left hand.

'You wouldn't be so bored if you were here with me.' She felt her stomach flip as she squinted at the message. Why did half of the things he say seem to have a double meaning?

She was probably overanalyzing him. It was a trait she had picked up while living with her uncle, one that was necessary to have to avoid his bursts of anger. She had learned to read people fairly well. Changes in tone, body language, and even their choice of words all were indicators of what a person was thinking. Most people were very easy to read. Zayd was proving to be more difficult to figure out. Then again, no one had tried to be her friend in a while. Maybe she was just unfamiliar with friendly behaviors.

'I mean if you were in class with me, as a Junior.' The screen lit up, showing the new message. She had not replied so he must have realized she was overthinking things again.

'I knew what you meant.' She pressed send. A white lie wouldn't hurt. She had assumed that was one of the meanings behind his text. The other reason she had considered had made her blush.

'Sure you did.' Lilyan could practically hear his smug voice and see the smirk he was wearing. She huffed, annoyed with him, and flipped the phone shut. She put it back in her bag, deciding to ignore it for the rest of the day. She disregarded the small guilty feeling ignoring her only friend gave her, figuring that she could just apologize later.

The bell finally rang and the classroom all packed up their belongings then headed out the door. Lilyan stayed in her seat, waiting for the inevitable meeting her teacher was going to want to have. Some of her peers seemed to notice her remaining seated as they passed by. Usually, she was the first one out the door. Once most of the room had emptied, she stood and put on her bag, then made her way to her teacher's desk.

Mr. Johnson looked up and offered her a smile.

“Yes, Lilyan?”

“I thought you were going to ask me to stay behind again,” she explained. He nodded.

“Oh, right. Your forms. I'm so glad to see you've decided to give this a chance. I see your uncle signed the papers after all.” She shrugged but kept silent. An outright lie wasn't something she felt comfortable with.

“Well,” he began, “I'm sure you noticed I was a little late this morning.” He grinned, looking a bit like a kid that had gotten caught trying to steal a cookie. “I was up most of last night and very early this morning getting all of the paperwork ready on our end so that we can move forward with your advanced placement as soon as possible. I really feel like you will be much happier afterward.”

Lilyan could tell he was only trying to help her. He did not know that this change was going to make her life more complicated and a lot more difficult. She managed to give a small smile and nodded.

“I appreciate that, but you didn't have to rush things,” she said. She felt sorry for him. He had bags under his eyes but he seemed pleased nonetheless.

“It was no trouble,” he reassured her, “Starting Monday, you'll be a Junior. Stop by the office when you get to school and they will have your new schedule ready for you.” She nodded and left the room, making her way to her next class.

By the time lunch came around, Lilyan was hungry again. She went to the same empty table she had sat at that morning and pulled out the food she had packed into her bag. She drank her juice and ate the banana, but left the fruit cup in case she got hungry later. Eating her uncle's food wasn't specifically against his rules but it was also not exactly allowed.

The bell rang, signaling her lunchtime was up. She left the cafeteria just in time to see Zayd making his way inside with a group of other kids. He was talking to a blonde-headed girl and smiling. There were three other girls following him and a couple of male students as well. A strange pang hit her chest. She hurried from the room and towards her next class.

It was unreasonable of her to expect him to not make other friends. Then why did it hurt her to see him with other people? The way that blonde girl was looking at him made her feel angry for some reason. She had expected him to find other friends and then forget about her. Seeing it play out hurt more than she thought it would. Lilyan regretted her decision to advance a grade. She should have never let him be a factor in that decision. She should have never gotten attached to him at all.

Once she loaded onto the bus, she sat in her usual spot. She sat her bag next to the window and chose the aisle seat, propping her knees up on the seat in front of her and crossing her arms. She stared out the window, determined to ignore him if he decided to speak to her.

Soon enough, she felt his eyes on her. She refused to meet his gaze. Suddenly, arms wrapped around her. She gasped and turned to face Zayd. He placed one arm under her knees, another behind her shoulders, and lifted her as if she weighed nothing. He lowered himself into her seat, still cradling her in his arms, and then placed her on his lap. Horrified, she scrambled backward to the window seat, knocking her bag to the floor.

“The hell?!” she demanded. His eyes shone with mischief, but his mouth was set in a straight line.

“I could ask you the same question,” he returned in a hushed tone. Was he angry? Fine. He could be angry. She was angry first. Well, more hurt than angry but being angry was better than crying. She had sworn to herself a long time ago to never cry again and she was not about to let this guy make her break that vow.

“I don't know what you mean,” she grumbled, straightening herself in the seat. She reached down and sat her bag upright. Sitting up, she saw her sweater and been pulled down in her rush to back out of his lap. Half of her black bra was showing. She quickly pulled the neck of her top back up into place and turned away from him. The reflection in the bus window showed a bright red face staring back at her.

“You stopped replying to my messages and now you've tried to block me from sitting with you,” he told her, seemingly unphased by her disheveled appearance. She waited until her reflection looked less flushed and then turned to face him.

“You annoyed me,” she stated simply. He raised an eyebrow.

“How?” he demanded, perplexed. She almost laughed at his expression. However she was still annoyed, so she furrowed her brows instead.

“Forget it,” she mumbled.

“No,” he replied firmly. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and huff at him. She turned back away and recrossed her arms. She didn't care if it showed more of her chest. It wasn't like he was interested in her in the first place. He had Miss Blondie.

Where had that come from? Her anger subsided, shocked by her own thoughts. She didn't care if he made other friends or found a girlfriend. For all she knew, he already had one. For some reason, the idea made her frown. A pit formed in her stomach. After a moment, she heard him sigh.

“This is infuriating,” he grumbled. She turned to peek at him. He had his eyes shut and was pinching the bridge of his nose again. He seemed frustrated.

“What is?” she whispered, afraid to speak any louder.

“Nothing,” he sighed, “It would just be easier if I knew what you were thinking.” She felt herself blush so she looked down at her lap, busying herself by fidgeting with her fingers. It was best if he didn't know what she had been thinking. However, he did deserve some sort of clarification. Her guilt seemed to be overriding her anger.

“I saw you at lunch,” she mumbled.

“Okay?” he prompted, waiting for a better explanation.

“You seemed to be making friends,” she shrugged. She heard a scoffed laugh come from him. Suddenly, his long fingers were under her chin. He gently tilted her face up towards him. He was leaning down and staring straight into her eyes. She held her breath, surprised by how close he was.

“And?” he breathed. She gulped and then shook her head. Her mind went blank. He was too close. He let his hand fall and sat up straighter, still looking into her eyes. He tilted his head to the side, waiting on a response. Now that she could think properly, she reached into her bag and dug out her phone. She saw there were three messages.

'I'm just teasing.'

'You there?'

'Lilyan, I'm sorry. Please answer so I know you're okay.'

The guilt she felt grew. She typed out what she couldn't manage to say out loud, hit the volume button up once to turn the vibrating notifications back on, then passed him her phone.

'As I said before, I don't have friends. You said you wanted friends and I knew that you would lose interest in me as soon as you found them. You were going to realize I wasn't someone you wanted to associate with, just like all the other people in this school. I saw you talking with some people today and you looked happy. They looked happy... especially the girls. I know you're going to move on soon and I didn't expect that to hurt, but it does. I just want to cut this off before I grow too attached to the idea of having a friend.'

She watched Zayd read the message, anxiously waiting for his response. He silently handed her the phone back. She held the back button down until the message had been completely erased and then flipped the phone shut. She shoved it into the front pocket of her jeans. When she looked back up at Zayd, his usual smirk was waiting for her.

“That's not going to happen, princess,” he murmured. He sounded sincere, but Lilyan didn't dare allow herself to believe him. She shrugged.

“Alright,” she sighed doubtfully. She focused on her fingers again, fiddling with them to keep herself occupied. He reached over and placed a hand over them, covering both of her hands with just one of his. She glanced up at him.

“I promise,” he said earnestly, “And I don't go back on my word. Ever.” She nodded. Trust was not something she had given someone in a long time. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust him. However, that went against her instincts. She knew he meant what he said and that he would not hurt her purposefully. That didn't mean he wouldn't do so without meaning to. His intentions weren't going to matter in the end.

“I start Monday,” she said, trying to change the subject. He let her hands go and she made the effort to stop fidgeting with her fingers.

“You start 11th grade?” he asked. She nodded.

“Yeah. I have to pick up my schedule from the office that morning.”

“We can do it together,” he grinned.

“You are a lot more excited about this than I am,” she exhaled with an amused hum. He shrugged and smirked down at her.

“Having you close by is exciting,” he said. She felt herself blush again. His fingers reached over to brush across her cheek. Her skin tingled under his touch. “You're adorable,” he chuckled. Lilyan spun away from him, facing her body towards the window to hide her heated face. He laughed under his breath from behind her. She crossed her arms and pouted, then she felt the seat move. He rested his chin on her shoulder, his chest pressed against her upper back.

“My apologies, princess,” he whispered into her ear. She gulped and her body went rigid, aside from her stomach which was doing somersaults. His lips brushed against her neck and she could feel his smirk against her skin. He trailed his face downwards and kissed her shoulder, right against the edge of her collar bone. Her arms fell into her lap and her eyes fluttered shut. When he pulled away, she finally allowed herself to breathe.

She looked up and noticed the bus wasn't moving. Turning to face Zayd, she saw he was already on his feet and was holding his hand out to her. After a deep, shaky breath, she grabbed her bag and slid her arms through the straps. She deliberated for a moment, but then took his hand and stood up. He led her off the bus, keeping her hand in his. He descended the steps, nearly dragging her down with him.

He chuckled when she stumbled off the last step. Just as she regained her footing, he tugged on her arm, causing her to fall forward. She toppled into his arms. He caught her easily, holding her to his chest. She stared at her hands placed flat against his shirt, under his opened jacket.

She pushed against him and he let her go, his lopsided grin shining down at her. She glared up at him and started walking towards her house. He followed closely behind and they heard the bus drive away. Zayd caught up effortlessly, his strides longer than hers, and then fell into pace beside her.

“Why do you tease me like that?” she demanded, not looking his way.

“Like what?” he grinned, his voice was amused even though he tried to sound innocent. She rolled her eyes and kept marching down the road. He reached out and grabbed her hand, forcing her to stop. He pulled on her hand, causing her to spin around to face him. She looked up, confused.

“What?” she demanded. He stared into her eyes, still wearing his crooked smile.

“You're fun, that's all,” he shrugged. She glowered at him, but then sighed in defeat. She didn't want to be upset with him and couldn't even figure out why she was.

“Whatever,” she muttered. She kept her hand in his and they made their way down the street. The warmth of his hand wrapped around hers made her feel safe. Hand holding was only intimate if their fingers were intertwined. So, him holding her hand this way should be fine to do as friends. She wished she could stop overthinking everything he did and just enjoy his company while she still had it.

They stopped in front of her house and Zayd surprised her by walking her to the front door. He released her hand so she could retrieve her key from her pocket. He kissed the top of her head, then turned to walk away.

“Keep your phone on, please,” he called over his shoulder.

“I will,” she promised, and then went inside.