Rising From the Ashes

The Mall

Later in the afternoon, Xavier took me to the mall to go shopping. Together we spend hours going in and out of stores. I’ve never been to any of them before, because I never had money. Xavier could tell that I was uneasy being at the mall, so instead Xavier would find things for me to try on, while he would wait outside the changing rooms. It was almost like an exclusive fashion show just for Xavier. I was uneasy about letting Xavier buy everything for me, but then I realized that I would just pay him back once I started working for him. 

As we are enjoying going around the mall together, the hair on the back of my neck raises. Giving me the feeling that someone is watching me. I look all over, trying to find the person watching me. Only to come up short every time. I begin to think that I'm just paranoid, and instead try and focus on having fun with Xavier. Xavier however, notices my apprehension. 

"Everything ok?"

"Hmm? Oh.. uh.. yes. Everything's fine."

"Clearly something's wrong, cause that was the worst response I've ever heard." Xavier rolls his eyes at me, then turns me around to look at him.

"What's wrong?"

I run my hand along the back of my neck, trying to calm the goosebumps. 

"It's nothing, you will probably just think I'm weird, or overreacting." Xavier looks at me in concern.

"I could never think that. If something's bothering you, I want to know, so I can help you. Regardless of how crazy you may think you're." Xavier raises a brow at me, trying to get me to calm down.

"Ok, but just promise me that if I sound like a nut job, you'll just forget I said anything at all."

Xavier grabs my wrists, and pulls me closer to him, his gaze unwavering from my eyes.

"I can't make that promise. Because no matter what you say, you could never be a nut job. Now tell me what's bothering you."

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what I'm about to say. While also guarding myself for his response.

"I just have this weird feeling we're being watched." I run my hand, along my neck in unease. "It's as if someone is following us."

I watch as Xavier's eyes begin to dart in all directions. Not once questioning my weird confession. Rather almost in concern. He immediately pulls me close to him.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" 

Not expecting his question, I reply "since we got to the mall. I'm probably just paranoid. I've never been to a mall before."

Xavier eyes me over.

"When did you last have that feeling?" 

I think to myself.

"Well.. just moment ago. But once we started talking, the feeling went away. Why? What's wrong?"

His eyes continue to scan the area.

"Nothing. You're probably right, it's probably just because you've never been to a mall before." He says to me in a tone, that has me feeling, he believes that less than I do.

"Why don't you go get a drink, I'll be right here watching. I just need to make a quick phone call." He says to me with no emotion in his eyes.

"Sure of course, do you want anything?" Xavier shakes his head.

"No, it's ok Little Bear. I will get something later."

My apprehension slowly fading away, I turn as I smile at him, then head in the direction of the closest food stand.

Some time later, we are walking into what seems to be the hundredth change room. Just like every other store, Xavier pics out some items for me, and I head in the direction of the change rooms. Xavier is on the phone again, as I make my way to the fitting room. Just as I'm about to close and lock the door, a firm hand covers my mouth preventing me from screaming. Suddenly I'm spun around to face my attacker in the mirror. My eyes grow wide when I see Gary standing there behind the door. I try to scream, in hopes that Xavier will hear. However, all that gets through is a muffled gasp.

“Hush now, Princess. You wouldn’t want anyone hearing your screams now would you?" Gary says, his hand still firm over my mouth. I try to push past him, in hopes of getting back to Xavier. 

“Where are you trying to go? Back to the boy? Now who is the foolish one?"

My eyes widen in confusion. What does he mean by that? Seeing the look of confusion, Gary responds. “The boy out there, is the one that told me where I could find you.”

I shudder in horror. 

“No! He wouldn’t do that to me!” I mumble through my clasped mouth.

“You didn’t really think you could get rid of us that easily? Why would a man like him, want with a stupid girl like yourself?”

I instantly deflate, knowing he’s right. Why would he want me? I’m a nobody. I’m the person you lock in the basement, and forget is still there. 

His hands begin to roam down my body. One hand continuing to muffle my screams, the other grabbing my breast and working lower towards my pants.

“Now you’re going to be a good girl, right?” Gary spits at me. Teasing me. Locking me in his embrace, knowing that I've no where else to go.

“Now, you’re going to do everything I ask, without hesitation, otherwise I will kill that brother of yours.”

My eyes raise in horror. How does he know about my brother? He’s never met him before. Almost as if he is finishing my thought, he lowers his head to whisper in my ear.

“We know every detail about you. We know where you came from, and what your brother has been doing this whole time.”

“Did you know that he continued looking for you since the moment you were separated?" Gary says, pausing momentarily before continuing. Just allowing me enough time to let everything he is saying, sink in.

"We couldn’t let that happen, so we made sure to change your information from the social services agency, preventing anyone from taking you from us.”

“Now, you need to be punished for disobeying us. If you make any sounds, then we will have no choice but to punish your brother as well.”

“Do you understand?” He says, gripping me tighter. I nod my head in defeat.

“Now, when I remove my hand, you will undress, and let me do with you as I please. If I hear anything out of you, even a whimper, your brother is dead.”

I nod my head once more. He removes his hand, and gestures for me to begin the show. He sits down on the bench towards the back of the fitting room, watching intently as I begin to remove my clothes.

A moment later, I'm standing naked in front of him. His eyes roam every inch of my body. I try to cover myself, placing my arms over my chest, and crossing my legs. I feel dirty just from the way he eyes my body.

“Spread ‘em.” He barks out.

“I don’t want you covering yourself. You know what happens when you disobey me right?” I nod my head remembering the way he used to love whipping me.

He stands up, and comes closer to me. Running his hands along my inner thighs. Slowly making his way up my core, then running his fingers inside of me.

“Take them off. He says gesturing to his pants.” Scared, I immediately oblige. I unbutton his jeans, undo his belt, and pull his pants down so they fall to his ankles.

“Continue.” He says, motioning for me to remove his boxers.

I hold in a breath, and move my hands to reach for his boxers. Just as my fingers touch the waistband of his boxers, he slaps my hands away. 

"Use that pretty little mouth of yours." He says gesturing to his boxers.

“On your knees.” My eyes close, as I fall to my knees hoping that anyone could get me out of this. That I could just die already.

I think back to Xavier. Is what Gary said true? Did he really send me back to the lions? I haven't seen him for so long, perhaps it's true. Why would I think any differently. My life has been nothing but a curse. Of course it's true. There's no reason why he would want me. I'm just an inconvenience for him.

"Don't make me ask you again!" He curses at me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I nod my head, and oblige, falling swiftly to my knees. I lean forward, and grab the waistband of his boxers with my teeth. I close my eyes, in attempt to calm myself down. His member swings free of his boxers, hitting me in the face.

“Suck.” He moans, as he palms his erection near my mouth.

I tentatively begin to wrap my hands around his shaft, while placing him inside my mouth. He lets out a low growl.

“Mmm, how I’ve missed that mouth of yours.” He pulls my head closer, firmly wrapping his hand around my head, forcing my head to move up and down his shaft. Tears begin to fall, as the intense pressure is causing havoc on my throat. I try to gasp for air, but he continues forcing my head further onto his shaft. I feel myself gaging from the unwanted pressure.

“Mmm.” He groans again. “I’m almost there. Good, Princess.” He grabs harder onto my head, until I'm deep throating him. 

“Just the way I like it. I love feeling your vocal cords around my member.” Suddenly his hips arch forward, he begins to c*m in my mouth. Before he pulls out, he says “swallow.” I nod my head regrettably, and oblige. Swallowing all his liquids in disdane. 

He suddenly forces me down onto the ground, straddling me. He begins to fondle my breasts as he forces himself in me. I try to lash out. Hitting him, and cursing him. He slaps my face, then reaches for his belt, and ties my hands together above my head.

"What did I say about disobedience?" He slaps my face once more, then with one hand, holds my hands down. He grabs his boxers, and shoves them in my mouth, preventing me from screaming, as he continues to enter me.

He begins to groan once more in satisfaction, as he begins to reach his climax. Tears begin to fall like a waterfall down my face. I can barely see, as my vision is blurred from both the pain, and my tears.

Suddenly the door flies open, and Gary is pulled off of me. I glance over to see Xavier above me. He looks pissed. In one quick movement, he knocks Gary unconscious. His body stiffens, then collapses on top of me.

Still bound by the restraints, I'm unable to move. All I can do, is watch the scene unfold through my blurry vision. I feel so helpless, and confused. Why did Xavier come into help? He is the one that told him where to find me. So why would he be helping me? My brain is running through so many scenarios, that I begin to get light headed. I begin to drift in and out of consciousness.

I can feel my body rising, as someone is picking me up, and wrapped me in material, keeping unwanted glances off of my body.

"Xavier?" I manage to say. My throat still raw from the attack.

"What are you doing?" My voice sounding hoarse.

Xavier moves swiftly, carrying me out of the mall, and running to his car. He places me gently in the passenger seat, and speeds off on the direction of his house.

“f**k!” He exclaims, pounding hard onto the steering wheel. Scared by his reaction, I flinch, and try to move closer to the door. He glances over, sensing my fear.

“I’m sorry! This never should have happened to you. It's all my fault."

 I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Why did you stop him? You gave him everything he wanted. So why stop?"

Xavier immediately grips the wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white, and whips the car to the side of the road. Once stopped, he turns to look at me. His eyes wide, as he runs my confession through his head a few times.

“Do you really think I would help that sick son of a b***h?”

To be honest, I don’t know what to think. I’ve barely been with Xavier, so I don’t really know whether it could be true or not. I'm just so used to people having their way with me, that I've stopped looking for the good in people.

“Look at me.” Xavier commands. Terrified, I do as he asks.

“Please don’t be afraid of me. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I want to protect you.”

The expression in his eyes change, to one of sadness and defeat. His next response is said much calmer.

“Please... please don’t ever think I could ever be that cruel. Especially to you.” He almost begs me. Pleading with his eyes to show me his words are genuine.

“I would never tell those abusive monsters where you're. All I want is for you to be safe. What happened back there was my fault. I should’ve known something was up. I should’ve checked out the change room first. I should’ve made sure you were safe." Xavier begins to rant ways in which he has failed me.

Noticing the hurt and pain emanating off of him, I feel compelled to console him. I reach my arm over to him, and begin to gently stroke his arm.

“I’m sorry. He told me that he found me, because you told him where I was. I didn't want to believe him, but its been so long I've been able, or had a reason to trust people. So when he told me that, my heart just sank, thinking that I had once again allowed myself to be betrayed." The last part barely comes out as a mumble. I realize to myself that I've never trusted anyone. The first person I trusted was Xavier. I don't even know why. But I found myself fighting with myself for the lapse in judgment.

The car is silent as we share a pained glance, before he mutters.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But know, as long as you're with me, I will keep you safe."

Xavier looks at me, almost with longing in his eyes. He reaches over, and gently caresses my cheek. I don't flinch, or move away. It's like something in my body trusts him. AS though part of me knows that he would never hurt me. 

Xavier pauses for a second, as if thinking, then runs his hand along the back of his neck, seemingly uncomfortable with what he is about to say.

"I just need to know... why? Why did you let him do that to you? Why did you not just scream? I would've been there in a second."

I turn my gaze towards my lap, tears beginning to fall once more. Xavier moves his hand, to wipe the tears from my face.

"He.. he threatened my brother. I don't know how, but he knows about Ryker. He said he's known about him all along. He told me of how they changed my identity to prevent me from being found." I take a deep breath before I continue on. "He told me if I made a sound or disobeyed him, that my brother would be next. There's no way I could ever let that happen to Ryker. So I did as he pleased." The last part comes out a bit strangled, as the feeling of hopelessness comes flooding back to me. 

Xavier gets out of the car, walking to my side of the car. He opens my door, and picks me up. He sits down in my seat, and places me gently on his lap. He places my head in his neck as he continues to cradle me. I can feel his unease soften as he continues.

“I promise to always keep you safe, and protected from anyone that wishes you harm. No matter what happens, I will protect you.”

He calmly runs his hand through my hair, as he continues to hold me close to him. Almost in fear, that if he lets me go, I'll break.

"If anything bad ever happens to you, I need to know right away. I can't help you, if I don't know you're in danger."

I can feel Xavier stare off into space, as he holds onto me. “I wouldn’t survive, if I lost you again.” He mumbles under his breath. He has a pained expression on his face. He leans over, as if out of a trance, then softly places a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re shaking Little Bear.” He holds me tighter, in hopes of calming my nerves. He places another gentle kiss on my head.

“I don’t want you to ever be afraid. Whenever I’m around, I only want you to be happy.” I nod my head, and let myself relax in his embrace.

I don’t know why, but with Xavier, everything feels different. My skin prickles with his touch. Almost as if I desire more contact. He places a few more gentle kisses on my head. Once I've seemed to have calmed down, he gets out of the car, and places me back on the seat, thens walks around the car, back into the driver's seat. He starts the car, and we continue back on the road, towards his house.