Call Me By My Name

Ch.9

Mateo

*Three months later*

Returning home felt bittersweet. For eight years, I’ve been on the move, barely spending no more than a collective four months at home. It was my safe space, yet it was also my own personal hell. No matter how many times Mom had it renovated, the memories of Mel always hit harder. It was always a reminder of how much has changed and been lost.

However, there was no more running from the changes. I was here to stay, to dwell within my hell, and finally fulfill the obligations that came as a birthright. All that aside, I truly missed my family and the foolishness they came with. They might be unconventional and a pain half the time to deal with, but they were solid, downright entertaining and what I needed to get through half of the shxt I'd put myself through.

I’ve been home for less than a month and foolery has been in full effect. Gunnar’s still bxtching about my last mission, and my siblings have been getting on my last nerves. Today was just another day of the Carter-Hawthorne shenanigans. The only differences were everyone was on edge and Mom was finally returning from her impromptu trip with Yeager just to call for a family meeting. Outside of Gunnar, I think we were all curious as to what this meeting was about.

The parents had an unconventional way of relaying news and rules, but in the end, it all depended on Mom’s mood or personality. From what I’ve gathered once I returned, I wasn’t the only one who made a mess of things. For someone like me who’s used to being imperfect, my failed mission bothered me for reasons that have nothing to do with the parents and my reputation. I can’t say the same about my siblings.

Mom taking off with Yeager without a word for a month and a half, only to send a mass text for a family meeting upon her return was new. She never went a day without checking on her kids. So, I understood why my siblings were on edge. However, I understood her enough to know that she doesn’t do anything without a reason. Especially when it comes to us.

“Matty, can I ride with you?” Selene hesitantly asked. I cxcked an eyebrow at my little sister. She’s been avoiding me since I returned and, unlike Mom who calls me Matty on a regular basis, Selene only does so when she’s either in trouble or wants something. From the look of it, I can bet it was both.

“Why? What happened to your car?” I asked, knowing damn well I was going to get some backward answer until I agreed. I rarely don’t.

“Can’t I just ask my older brother for a ride? Plus, it’s been decades since I got to hang out with you.”

“What did you do, Sel?”

“Long story. I’ll see you downstairs.” She rushed out before I could ask anything else. Shaking my head, I figured I might as well get ready.

Less than ten minutes later, I was out of the door with Selene behind me. I noticed she wasn’t her chipper self and had the faraway look that was uncanny to Mom, but I let her be. While my brothers Jagger and Gunther took after our dads, Selene was a strange mix between all three of our parents with mom closer to the surface.

She didn’t have mom’s multiple personalities by medical definition, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t the case. Can’t be certain if it was inherited or learned. Either way, she was our mother’s daughter. Being around Mom longer than the others, I’ve come to understand when to pry and when to let things be. This was one of the times to let things be and wait till she was ready.

We got into my McLaren Elva in silence and made our way to XO, Mom, and Gunnar’s restaurant. Over the years, it has become the hot spot for business and family meetings. Often, the two tend to blend. Throughout the twenty-minute drive, I looked over at my sister who kept shifting in her seat.

“Do you think Mom is mad at us?”

“I’m not sure.” I left it at that because with our parents one couldn’t be sure of anything. One thing for certain was that we’ve all fxcked up over the last few months. Jagger and Gunther got into some territorial dispute that had the council in a frenzy. Selene, who had stayed out of the family business, both legal and illegal, somehow got caught up to the point that the father had to come out of retirement. Well, we already know about my situation.

Could Mom be upset? Most likely. Our family had an open-door policy. There were or at least shouldn’t be any secrets between us. We argued here and there, but there was no animosity or shouldn’t be. One’s problem was all our problems and one’s enemy was all our enemy. We were free to do as we pleased as long as we handled our respective businesses, and it was our choice if we wanted such business.

Once that was established, there were a few rules and regulations but nothing that wasn’t expected in a family with businesses like ours. With that came two detrimental rules: don’t make a mess, you’re not willing to clean up, and no matter what, don’t turn on family. Well, both rules have been broken. The details I don’t know but I know it’s grave enough for Mom to disappear and Gunnar to be giving my siblings the silent treatment.

Seeing how deflated Selene looked once I parked the car, I sat back and gave her the time to get herself together. In this family, we all had unimaginable demons. I don’t know what she’s been through while I was away, but I can see the loss in her eyes and the fight within herself to pretend to be whole. It’s heartbreaking because it was our main mission to make sure she never got tainted along with us.

Something about the way she has become now reminded me of the one I tried to forget the most. How I had found her night after night fighting demons in her sleep. How broken and utterly despaired she looked going through the motion of putting her loved ones to rest. How the darkness filled her eyes, trying to repress the emotions that should have been felt. I knew why Blue ended up that way, but I had no idea about Selene and I didn’t have it in me to leave her be without knowing.

“Sel, what happened to you?”

_____

To come close to understanding our family, there are a few things to know. The Carter-Hawthorne family started two generations ago but didn’t fully come to be until Soleil Carter married the Hawthorne twins, Gunnar and Yeager. That relationship is one for the books and one only a few understand. The underworld calls them the deadliest trio and the public knows them as the powerful and formidable trio.

You know the saying, ‘As above, so below.’ No matter where you go, they were known. Can’t mention one without mentioning all three and they wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re quick to remind you that their bubble of three took heaven and hell to happen. Soleil is nineteen years younger than her husband and has three biological children, and I am the adopted son. Gunnar had me with a woman I barely remember. She died almost twenty years ago from an aneurysm thanks to Uncle Noel. That’s a long story.

Mom was the sole owner of Carter’s Co & Inc. and the head of the Stabos, an illegal organization that goes back four generations. She shared the Stabos with Gunnar and Yeager. Gunnar owned Hawthorn Lo. and Yeager owned Bison Tech. Both businesses were used as umbrellas for the Stabos and all were entrusted to Mom.

She was the backbone of the family. She was the blueprint and her rules we followed blindly. Being able to tame the monsters known as our fathers and keeping us all afloat earned her that right. She has everything but wouldn’t flinch at losing it all if it was for us and she tried instilling the same into us.

They went through hell and back to get to where they are now. They never shied away from their past and never hid anything from us. It was our decision if we wanted to take over the businesses or not. Jagger, Gunther, and I made that choice without even a thought. There have been multiple occasions where Mom gave us an out, but we never took it.

We wanted to earn our keep, to be as formidable as our parents. It was no secret that the businesses were going to be ours and we were willing to train, even kill for them. Nothing went untouched on our trail, creating ghosts and damaging spirits. We’ve turned wives into windows and sent kids to the foster system. It’s nothing to brag about, but it has been the way for generations.

Selene was a different story. She wanted nothing to do with any of it and wanted a name for herself. I can’t say I blamed her. She was more kindhearted, more accepting, and loving. When she announced she was going to med school, we all encouraged it. She was more of a savior than any of the rest of us were. So hearing what she’s been through in my absence had me fuming.

We failed her as brothers and forced her to question our parents, who had done everything to shield her. I can understand why our parents have been silent. Gunnar had to go back to his old ways and Mom lost control of not only him but herself. I can’t even imagine what Yeager had to deal with.

All of this just made me think of what Blue was dealing with, the mess I left her in. She was no different from Selene, but my sister had me and the rest of the family. Blue didn’t have anyone, everyone was taken from her. Guilt for my sister was eating away at me, but the guilt I had for Blue was damn near killing me. I ruined someone’s sister, and someone ruined mine. However, there was a huge difference.

“As of today, the four of you are on house arrest for the next three months. You will all be living in the main house. If, by the end of the three months, we can’t get this shxt under control, I will strip all four of you of your inheritance. If any of you think I’m playing, feel free to go to work or, even better, call your banks, even the offshore ones.”

Yeager was the first to speak, breaking me out of my miserable thoughts. I looked at my siblings who were looking everywhere but at our parents. We all knew better than to question or comment. If Gunnar was mad, we’d brush it off, but if Yeager was pissed, we kept quiet. Heaven knows that’s not something any of us wanted to deal with. We’ve all danced that tango once in our lives and it didn’t work well.

It was dead silent for at least five minutes. It didn’t help that the restaurant was closed down for the night and not a single staff member could be found. I needed a drink and, from the way my siblings were shifting in their seats, I wasn’t the only one. We knew that this was just the beginning of whatever they had cooked up. Yeager was just the appetizer and, with no thinking that did mom reveal the main dish.

“In this family, there are two solid rules. Don’t make a mess if you’re not willing to clean up, and no matter what, don’t turn on your family. With those two rules come two subs. We don’t keep secrets from each other and one’s enemy is our enemy. Was there any room for misinterpretation?”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Gunther was about to respond. Luckily, he was sitting to my left. I pinched him and shook my head. Whatever he had to say wasn’t worth speaking at that moment. He might haven’t noticed yet, but the mom we’re accustomed to hasn’t been present since she arrived. This has been a trap since we walked in here.

“Ok, no response. How about this, Gunther, would you like to explain to me why you fxcked Nelson’s wife and daughter, then beat up his son to the point he’s in a coma?” We all turned to look at Gunther. While Jagger and I were trying to hide the amusement on our faces, Selene held nothing but disgust. That right there is another long story.

“Nope, no answer. Ok, cool. How about you Jag? Do you want to tell me how the hell you got entangled with the Reapers? How you have wasted the lives of ten of my men?” I’m glad Jagger wasn’t dumb enough to even look up.

“No, nothing. Alright, how about you both tell me why you felt the need to drag your sister into your bullshxt? Why would you leave someone I had warned you about multiple times around her and then turn a blind eye to what the fxck went on?” With that one, the questions kept coming, and not once did she raise her voice. The more she asked, the calmer and scarier she got. One loaded question after another, but it was as if she was going over the Sunday paper.

I watched everyone at the table, realizing this was the first time my siblings met this side of our mother. How she was able to keep all of her personalities from them is beyond me. Maybe because she never needed them before now. Until all of this, the heaviest burden we had to deal with was Mel dying and Uncle Nate taking off. Both were expected but it didn’t hurt any less.

However, we were now at odds with an organization that was three steps ahead of us, an alliance that had to be fought for went up in smoke and, most importantly, we almost lost Selene. No matter how you put it, we were in a far more severely fxcked up position than we’ve ever been as a family. This wasn’t something neutral, indifferent, or happy-go-lucky mom could handle.

“For the time being, everything regarding the four of you will be handled by your fathers. Throughout these three months, I’d advise you all not to piss me off. By the way, Mateo, when did you plan on telling me about my grandchild? Or was that another secret you planned on keeping from me?”