The Scottish Princess

The Final Straw

 I spent the next couple days in the great hall while mother ran circles around me, barking orders at the servants and wait staff. She was trying to get everything situated for my party tomorrow. Watching her was going to make me Boke, I needed to find a seat. Carina was due to arrive at any moment so I wanted to soak up as much silence as possible. I was really hoping that she was in the mood to just ignore me instead of her normal knit picking. Graham was with father ironing out final details about the treaties and travel plans for Sunday. Everything would be signed tomorrow night after the party. I knew that I should be packing up my trunk but mother constantly reminded me that that was Kennedy’s responsibility. I knew that she was right, but I felt terrible, it was my stuff, I shouldn’t have to make Kennedy do such things. 

After a while, I asked mother to be excused, I really wanted to go upstairs and help Kennedy with the rest of the preparations. After some convincing, mother finally let me go. I sprinted up the stairs before she changed her mind. 

When I reached the top of the stairs, I nearly smacked into Kennedy. I could tell that she was on a mission. “Oh my apologies miss. I was just on my way to retrieve you. Chief Graham is waiting outside your door.” I gathered my self and followed her down to my bedroom. Graham smiled and bowed to me when he saw me. “Good afternoon prìseil. I was waiting to escort you to dinner.” I smiled at him, he knew that dinner wasn’t for another couple hours, he had an ulterior motive. I c****d my head to the side and exaggerated my smile. “That is extremely honorable of you my lord. Unfortunately, I have to continue packing my belongings for our journey on Sunday. I will be consumed for the next couple hours. I will see you later.” He was flabbergasted at my rejection. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to attend to. Come along Kennedy.” I tried to sound as much like mother as possible, I knew that it was annoying him, but I wanted to have a little fun too. I saw his face as I went to close the door behind us, he was not happy, his lips were pursed and his eyes were sparkling with wicked thoughts, I was going to pay for this later. Even though Kennedy was present, I was technically denying him pleasure. 

Once inside, I turned to Kennedy, “shall we get started? I have 18 years worth of belongings to pack.” 

Kennedy and I made quick work of my clothes. After about an hour, we had most of everything neatly tucked away in the trunk, I would need to wait to pack my vanity items. Once we were finished, Kennedy helped me dress for dinner and laid out my gown for tomorrow night’s party. Mother had picked a crimson red, satin dress. It looked a lot like the one that I wore the other night, when I first met Graham. I would wear my clan pendant and Graham had requested that I wear the MacKenzie tartan belt. Women weren’t generally allowed to wear clan colors, but I know that it would mean a lot to him. The colors weren’t too different from the MacPherson tartan. MacKenzie had much more blue in its pattern, where MacPherson was overpowered by the red. I was honored to wear my new clan’s tartan. I felt closer than ever to finding my own way and accepting my new way of life. There was a knock at the door that brought me back to focus, that must be Graham again. 

Kennedy stepped forward to answer the door, “Chief MacKenzie, your lady is ready.” Kennedy stepped back from the door to make way for Graham. His eyes were taking me in, and there was a spark of anticipation across his face, no doubt imagining me straddling his face. That’s when my thoughts started to wander making my skin heat up and ache deep in my belly. Focus Isla, focus. Just a couple more days, then I would be completely at his will.

Graham and I headed down to dinner. As we went to sit, we noticed that there were two extra chairs at the head table, that meant one thing, Carina and Thomas were here. I surveyed the room, searching for my niece and nephews. I listened intently for their laughter. Brody was the eldest, he had just turned 5, Ella was 4, and Elijah was 3. They were the only reason that I tolerated Carina, I didn’t want her to take them away from me. Graham was puzzled at my investigation skills, “if you searching for someone, you’re not being very discreet.” I subtly jammed my elbow into his ribs. A normal human being would be doubled over in pain at the impact, but in this case, that hurt me more than it did him. Graham chucked at me as I started rubbing my elbow. 

“Oh you think this is funny do you?” Graham shrugged at me.

“I think it’s funny that you think that you can hurt me.” I glared up at him out of frustration, he was right, he was a damn tree. I went back to searching the crowd and my sights settled on a small little girl with black curly hair and bright blue eyes. My Ella was being swung around in the air by Gran-da. I rushed over to greet her and she wiggled out of father’s grip, just in time for me to scoop her up in my arms and playfully eat her neck. She shrieked with laughter. “La la stop, it tickles.” I wrapped Ella’s legs around my waist and interlocked my arms under her legs. She pursed her lips at me “kiss kiss La la.” I leaned forward and gave her a peck on her little lips. Graham had taken a step forward to say hello. Ella was such a good young lady already. She bowed her head without having to be prompted. 

“Ella, where are your brother’s?” I followed her gaze as she scanned the room. She pointed her finger over to the far side of the room. They were surrounded by mother, Fi, James, and Andrew. I hadn’t seen the beast just yet, but I knew that she was around here somewhere. I set Ella down at my feet and grabbed her hand. 

“Come on precious, let’s go over by Nan and Gran-da.” Ella began pulling me enthusiastically over to my family.

Everyone was chit chatting as we approached. The boys both locked eyes with me as we got closer, “La La!” They screamed and ran over to me. I tried to scoop them up at the same time but it was useless, I had no upper body strength. I picked Elijah up as Brody hugged my legs. Brody smiled up at me with his dark brown eyes, his curly hair had gotten much longer since the last time I saw him. “We missed you La la.” I gave Elijah a kiss on the cheek and placed my finger under Brody’s chin.

“I missed my lads too. Come on, let’s go back by Nan” Brody reluctantly let go of my legs and ran back to mother. Elijah hugged my neck tight and his curls invaded my face. I kissed his forehead as we continued to walk further into the back corner of the room. I could tell that Graham was making funny faces at Elijah, he would occasionally giggle in my ear. I looked back at Graham and caught him with his eyes crossed. When we reached the rest, Ella was sitting in father’s lap and Brody was in mother’s, I still hadn’t seen Carina. Fiona came over to me and took Elijah from me so I could start to mingle. We were all having a pleasant conversation when I felt the room go cold. You know when you have that gut feeling that something bad is about to happen? My stomach was in knots and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. 

“Well if it isn’t my glaikit little sister, are you done poisoning my children’s minds?” Here she goes with the insults already, I haven’t seen her in four months and she’s at it again. I could feel the tension radiating off of Graham, he was already so protective of me. She took a step towards me, and put on a fake smile, “I’m only joking. But you have put on some weight, are you not worried what your husband thinks of you?” Graham took a protective step towards me, I could feel his abs against my back. “Oh this must be him? You can’t honestly be attracted to this scrawny, insignificant, Manky thing can you?” She looked me up and down and smirked, “I must warn you, she’s completely useless.”

 I could feel the lump in the back of my throat, what have I ever done to her to make her treat me this way? I looked around the room, looking for someone to save me. They were all so conveniently distracted by the kids, they had no idea of what Carina was saying to me. Before I could come up with a rebuttal, Graham stepped in front of me. “Thomas! Come retrieve your woman!.” You could hear a pin drop, Gavin’s voice carried throughout the entire room, everyone stopped to look at what was happening. Tears started to prick my eyes as I saw Thomas scurry over and put his hands on Carina’s shoulders, she suddenly had a change in facial expression, she was about to play the victim. 

“Do we have a problem here?” Thomas had rage in his eyes. The two men squared off in front of us, both shielding their ladies, Graham towered over Thomas.

“Yes, your wife is being extremely disrespectful. It would do you well to control your woman.” Carina started crying like the perfect little actress, I couldn’t wait to be even further away from her. 

“Excuse me? Are you sure your betrothed wasn’t being a boot?” The whole room gasped, Graham looked like he was about to punch Thomas square in the nose, I secretly hoped that he would, I didn’t care too much for Thomas either. Carina and him were the perfect match, they are both entitled f***s. 

Father stood quickly and rushed over to defuse the situation. “Gentleman please, we need to resolve this.”

Without breaking eye contact with Thomas, Graham answered. “Oh, we can, as long as he keep this boggin’ creature away from Isla.” Graham gestured passed Thomas to Carina, who was still “cowering” in fear. Father seemed shocked at Graham response. 

“Chief MacKenzie, I think that you have forgotten that Lady Carina is my eldest daughter, you can not speak about her that way.” Now I was dumbfounded, father was actually defending her. Graham looked down at my father. 

“Then why is this still a problem? Look at Isla, she is shaking, are you not aware of the horrific things that your eldest daughter was saying about Isla. Clearly I got matched with the better choice.” 

I could tell that father was offended, but he had no right. He has known how Carina treats me all these years. As much as I know he loves me, everyone continually takes Carina’s side, and I’m sick of it. I was overcome with emotion, I didn’t like all of these eyes on me. I had to get out of here. Without thinking, I turned and ran. I could hear my father calling after me but I didn’t want to stop. I needed some air. I didn’t know where I was heading but anywhere sounded better than here. 

When I reached the courtyard I stopped to take a breath. Vomit came up from the back of my throat and I heaved into a near by bush. I could hear rapid footsteps behind me, I knew that it was Graham. I knew that I shouldn’t have bolted like that but I didn’t see any other choice. Once I emptied my stomach content, I collapsed to the ground and sobbed into my hands. I felt Graham’s arms wrap around me. In one swift motion, I was being carried over by the stables. Graham sat us down in the pasture, not letting me out of his arms. I didn’t know what to say, should I apologize for my behavior? My family’s behavior? Or should I continue to cry? I knew that I had to say something. 

“I don’t know why they all hate me so much. All my life, I’ve done nothing but try my hardest. I am a good person with a kind heart, I do not deserve to be treated this way. Especially by my own family.” Graham pulled me tighter as another wave of sobs hit me. I looked up at him. 

“Is there anyway we can leave at first light? f**k the party, f**k my family. I just want to leave and never come back. I’m so tired of them treating me like s**t. I thought my father had more respect for me, but no surprise he sided with Carina again.” 

Graham shook his head, “He wasn’t siding with your b***h of a sister, he was just trying to diffuse the situation, I was the one who escalated it. As far as leaving, if that is what you truly want my love, then that’s what we’ll do.” I seriously thought about skipping the party. I knew that mother had put so much time and effort into it but at this point I really didn’t give a s**t. Then I thought of poor Fiona, I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I knew that we would see each other again soon, I just knew that she wanted me to meet her betrothed.

 So many different thoughts were circling in my head, I was starting to second guess myself decision. I didn’t know what to think or what to feel. I knew in my heart that I needed to do what was best for me. I knew that after today, I wouldn’t be able to see those bairns again, I had to come to terms with that, it didn’t surprise me that Carina would hold them over me like that, she’s just a vindictive b***h. That final thought was enough to send me over the edge. I looked up at Graham and made my decision. 

“I would like to leave first thing in the morning, I would like to leave without any detection. None of them deserve my fair wells.” Graham nodded his head in agreement and kissed my forehead. 

“First light it is. Now why don’t you head upstairs and get a good night’s rest. I will take care of everything. One of my men will be along shortly to collect your trunk. Don’t you worry my love, I will get you out of here straight away.” 

Graham stood me up on my feet. I looked down and dusted off my skirt. Adrenaline was pulsing through my veins. I was so ready to get the f**k out of here. Graham escorted me to the service entrance so I wouldn’t be detected. He kissed me on the cheek before heading down to the main hall to gather supplies and his men. He knew that I wanted to do this discreetly, I’m sure the gathering had returned back to normal by now, no one was wondering where we were. It would be easy to slip out.

I snuck up to my room, I locked eyes with Kennedy at the end of the hallway. She was talking to another servant. I held my finger up to my lips to tell her to be quiet. She bid goodbye to her friend who then scurried down the stairs. Kennedy hurried over to me and I pulled her into my room. 

“We need to finish packing my things, Graham is taking me home at first light. It is a secret Kennedy, you may not say anything to anyone. Do you understand?”

She silently nodded her head, “What shall I say if someone inquires on where you are?”

“Just tell them that you don’t know, say that you checked on me in the middle of the night and I was fast asleep and that when you came back the next morning, I was gone. Let them make their own conclusions.” 

She nodded once more, “Now let’s finish packing.” 

I decided to leave my party dress behind, it would serve as a reminder of what I’m leaving behind, I decided that I would display in on the bed in the morning. I grabbed the tartan and the clan pin and placed them near the top of my trunk, I still wanted to arrive with my new clan colors draped across my heart. Once we were finished, Kennedy disappeared to grab me some tea. Graham had not returned yet, I’m sure he was still trying to arrange for our travels. 

I settled into bed with my tea when there was a knock on the door. It wasn’t Kennedy’s or Graham’s, it definitely wasn’t mother’s. I wonder if it was father or Fiona, I know that Carina wouldn’t dare pay me a visit. I cautiously got out of bed and slipped into my robe. There was another knock as I neared the door. I slowly reached for the handle and gave the door a gentle tug. 

Fiona was standing on the other side of the door. She had teared stained cheeks, I wonder why she was so upset. I could still hear the echo of the music and chatter coming from the great hall behind her. Without saying a word, she stepped inside and wrapped her arms around me. I smoothed her hair, “What’s wrong Fi?” She looked up at me with red, puffy eyes. 

“I heard the maid’s talking, you’re leaving tomorrow morning?” s**t, no one was supposed to know about this.

“Fi, please tell me that no one else knows about this.” She shook her head frantically.

“I don’t think so, I was purposefully ease dropping. Where do you think I get all of my gossip? No one else would have noticed what they were talking about, no one really pays attention to the servants, I’m sure that you’re safe.” I knew that we couldn’t continue talking about this in the hallway. I pulled us further into my room and closed the door behind her. She stomped over to my bed and face planted onto the mattress. She let out an aggregated sigh before flipping onto her back. I just watched her for a moment, she looked like Ella throwing a tantrum. I walked over to the bed and poured her some tea. She sat up to receive the cup, her shoulders still heavy with emotion. She took a small sip before speaking.

“Isla, you can’t just pick up and leave like that. I understand that you’re upset, but sneaking off is not the answer. Imagine what it will do to our reputation?” I looked at her bewildered. Was she not down in the great hall watching the whole thing? And since when do I give a damn about the family reputation? I knew that she was just heartbroken and she didn’t agree with me trying to slip out, but to me, it was justified.

 I wanted to try and ease her mind, we would be seeing a lot more of each than she thought. She was marrying Graham’s cousin after all, it was still going to be a distance, but we would make it work. She was the only person that I actually cared to keep in contact with. As far as I was concerned, Fiona was my only family now. None of them stepped in and defended me when Carina was spewing her hatred, and Fi was the only one that had bothered to come check on me. They all knew how she consistently acted towards me all through out my adolescence, no one protected me from her growing up. I’m surprised that I hadn’t written them off sooner. 

“Fiona, I have to tell you something. I hope that it will ease your mind a bit.” Fiona leaned closer to me as if I was about to impart a secret. “I know who your betrothed is, his name is Callan, he is actually Graham’s cousin. I met him a couple days ago.” Fiona looked like I slapped her across the face. I placed my hand on her forearm when she looked down in her lap.

 “Fi, he is a great man, very honest and kind and he will treat you with the respect that you deserve. He hasn’t taken his eyes off you the last couple days, he’s been watching you from afar.” Tears started to drop into her lap.

“I know that you’re upset with me, but I feel more than confidant that I am leaving you in very capable loving hands.” Fiona looked up at me with tears beaded in her eyelashes. I moved my hand down to hold hers.

 “I want you to know that we will always have each other. We can write to each other everyday. We won’t be more than a few day’s ride from each other. I’m sure that we will see each other at all the family functions.” She looked at me with a puzzled expression. I gave her a small smile before I continued. 

“Callan is Graham’s cousin, they are very close. I know that it’ll be different at first and we will need some adjusting, but everything will work out in the end. I know that you’re upset about my decision, but I know that it is the right one. I cannot be here any longer, I don’t want to think about the awkwardness that tomorrow will bring. I don’t want to be in the center of the room with my family looking down on me. I know that I will never have a relationship with Carina, but she has a way of constantly looking like the victim. I can’t have people whispering about me at my own party. Besides, you are the only one that has come up to check on me, they are probably all still downstairs, laughing at my expense.”

Fiona looked down at her hands, she knew that I was right, but she didn’t want to admit it. When she looked back up at me, she had tears in her eyes once again.

“I just can’t believe that this is really good bye. I thought that we would have two more days together. I want you to do whatever makes you happy, I just wasn’t anticipating it happening at the drop of a hat.” I pulled her into my arms and smoothed her hair. 

“It’ll be okay Fi, you will always have me. This isn’t goodbye, this is see you later. I promise that I won’t just drop out of your life. I will always be with you. I love you.”

She sniffled and pulled a hankie out of her cleavage and blew her nose. Even when she blew her nose, she was dainty about it. She tucked it back in and gave me a small smile. 

“I love you too Isla, you’re my older sister, I will always look up to you. I think that you are doing the right thing for you. I want you to be happy.” I wrapped her in my arms once more as there was a heavy knock on the door. Fiona and I quickly straightened ourselves before I headed to the door. 

Angus and Dugan were standing in the doorway. They both bowed their heads when they saw us 

“Good evening ladies, we apologize for disturbing you, but we are here to retrieve your trunk.” I nodded my head and stepped to the side to make way for them. Fiona traded places with them, as they walked further into the room, she stood and came to excuse herself. 

“I really should be getting back. I love you Isla.”

“I love you too Fiona. Wish me luck!” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek before disappearing down the hallway. I was hoping that she wouldn’t let my secret plan slip, I guess I would have to wait and see. The boys gave me a quick nod as they headed out of the room carrying my luggage. “See you in the morning my lady. Sleep well.” I gave them a small wave before shutting the door. 

They had taken a quick left, they were heading down the service stairs, I could tell that they were trying to be discreet. It was getting late, the night sky was almost black. A wave of exhaustion as I started to undress. I didn’t even bother with a fresh chemise, I crawled into bed without another thought. I nuzzled close to my pillows, this was the last night that I would sleep in my old bed, alone. The tears started flowing down my cheeks, I don’t know why I was so emotional. Was it because I was secretly sad about leaving? Was it because I wished for a different upbringing or even a different family? Was I missing Fiona already? Whatever it was, it was overpowering. I soon felt myself heaving my shoulders, releasing every last drop of energy I had left. I hadn’t realized until the next morning, but I had cried myself to sleep.