The Scottish Princess

I squinted into the sun, bathing in the warm summer heat. A small patch of grass acted as a soft pillow under my long raven hair. There was a light breeze every now and then, occasionally swaying the branches and dislodging a bird or two. The sun was at it’s highest, I would guess it was around noon. I was so thankful that I got to escape from the castle for a few hours today. Mother was barking orders all morning, preparing for our dinner guests tonight. Father was constantly being held up in his sitting room. There had been a line of clan elders that he was meeting with today. They were discussing the many treaties that were to be solidified in the coming weeks.   Early on in life, I was groomed to be the perfect lady. I still shudder at the snap of the ruler across my knuckles. “Young ladies are seen, never heard. We have no business with clan matters. Our soul purpose in life is to bring comfort and compassion to our people. We are faithful servants to our men, for we are their outlet to release their stress and frustration, we are beautiful creations. We will be handled with a delicate hand.”   I was beaten into submission from at a very young age. What to do, what not to do, it was all so dizzying. I longed to live my own life, I wanted to explore the world and be my own person, I wanted to make my own choices. Every time I tried to reach out for freedom, I was knocked back down. I was starting to lose my fire; I was starting to dull and completely submit. I never wanted this life, but like everything else around me, I did not have a say in the matter.   It wasn’t always this way. Up until I was about 12, father would let me run around with my brothers. He would let me train with the men and by the end of the summer, I was fluent in weapons and fighting. I loved being able to defend myself, it gave me a sense of independence. I could handle a rifle well, but my favorite by far was the crossbow. There was something primal about holding the large metal frame in my hands. I felt powerful, there was no room for delicacy.  My mother and older sister, Carina protested profusely to the idea of a young lady playing with weapons. Carina thought that it was unfair that I got to partake in such activities and she never got the chance, she hated the idea that father made an exception for me.  It was Carina’s idea to shove me further into my lessons, it was her way of getting back at me. The next 5 years were consistently filled with my finishing lessons. If I stepped out of line, even by a toe, I would be punished. I still think about the familiar sting of the ruler against my skin, the redness that followed, and the blood that was drawn a time or two. The older I got, the more I realized the loss in mother’s patience, she became stricter and harder on me. “I don’t understand you, you have known what is expected of you for so long, why do you resist?” Honestly, I didn’t know the answer to that question, I really did try to behave and to bite my tongue. There was something that still lingered deep inside that told me not to break. I knew that I would be a handful for any man who was matched with me, I knew that no husband of mine would stand for my insolence. I knew that I would have to follow the rules very closely. Anything even remotely mischievous or unsavory would not be tolerated. When I turned 16, I started secretly hoping that I could marry for love, not advantage. No such luck, my match would take place the day after my 18th birthday. I don’t know why they waited that long. My younger sister, Fiona had been promised to her betrothed when she turned 16, maybe mother thought that she needed more time to turn me into a respectable woman.   I tried hard not to doze off in the mid-afternoon sun, I knew that my light, cream skin would most certainly burn. I knew that mother would be furious if I met my match tonight looking like a tomato. I mustered enough energy to push myself off the ground. I stretched out my muscles and took one last look over the glen. It was gorgeous up here on the cliff. I looked out on the large valley that stretched out in front of me. The rolling hills were filled with various wildlife, the breeze would jostle the tall grass below and off in the distance you could see the river that ran across our territory. It was almost blinding when the sun hit the surface of the water. It was so peaceful here; I would certainly miss this view the most.   I brushed off my skirts and headed over to Fergus. I had tied my Clydesdale up to a near by tree so he wouldn’t wander off. Mother always hated when I rode without a saddle, but I snuck out today, she would be non the wiser. Fergus started to whinny when I came over towards him. I brushed my hand over his snout, trying to calm him. His white, luscious mane whipped into my face as a gust of wind blew past us. I giggled at the surprise attack, and I swear I heard him chuckle at me too. I kissed his velvet, soft nose before grabbing onto his mane and hoisting myself up onto his back. I hated doing the side saddle s**t so I placed one leg on either side, mother would have had a fit, but she wasn’t here.   As I neared the estate, I could see the amount of guards increase. There were servants milling about, doing final touches on the decorations and food, the MacKenzie clan would be here shortly. I would finally be able to meet Graham, my soon to be husband. I prayed that he wouldn’t be another egotistical, misogynistic asshole like all the rest. I tried to clear my head as we neared the edge of the ridge. I had a bird’s eye view of the grounds, it made it easy to scan the horizon, plotting the best way to sneak back in.   I decided on the far end of the estate, there was hardly anyone over by the stables. Everyone’s attention was in the courtyard towards the middle of the estate. I would have the large stone walls to hide me. I dug my heels into Fergus’s sides, and he galloped off towards home.   It wasn’t until I dismounted Fergus that I noticed the bottom two inches of my dress were torn and covered in dirt. f**k! I assessed the rest of my appearance, other than a few stray blades of grass in my hair, I was okay. My forearms were a little pink from the sun, but there wasn’t anything that I could do about it now. I snuck past a few guards, who in all honesty, weren’t even paying attention to their surroundings. It was easy to slide along the outer wall and sneak to the service entrance around back. Once upstairs, I had about 10 feet until my bedroom. I held my breath before running full force up the stairs to the 4th floor. Thank God that I’m physically fit, otherwise, sneaking in and out would not be fun… or easy.   When I reached the top floor, I tried to calm my breathing, so my panting was undetectable. I started to tip toe towards my bedroom door. I occasionally looked over my shoulder to make sure that no one was behind me. Well, go figure, when I checked my blind spot, I ran directly into Kennedy, my chamber maid. Poor thing is a tad bit jumpy, so it was no surprise when she let out a loud shriek. I looked up and down the corridor to be sure that no one heard her. We were alone, no surprise, everyone was busy getting ready for tonight’s festivities. Kennedy clutched her chest as her breathing returned to normal. “Miss Isla, you scared the Holy Ghost out of me!” I grabbed onto her shoulders, “I’m so sorry Kennedy, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I was trying to sneak back in, Mother doesn’t know that I was gone does she?” Kennedy shook her head; I could relax again. “Okay good, now let’s get me ready for dinner, mother will kill us both if she discovers that I am not properly dressed yet.” Kennedy nodded in agreement as she finished leading the rest of the way to my bedroom.   Kennedy insisted that she run me a bath, I hadn’t noticed but I was also covered in a thin layer of dust and dirt. She grabbed some lavender and honey suckle, my favorites; She sprinkled them atop the water. I kind of felt like an herbal tea, stewing in such fragrances, at least I would smell like a summer meadow. Kennedy helped me wash and tame my long, thick hair and twirled it up in a low, side bun. She tucked some fresh wildflowers along one side of the bun. It always amazes me how easy she makes it look. She tucked my diadem into the top of my head and helped me slip into my dress.   Mother’s choice in gown was a little grander than I’m used to. It had about 3-4 different layers of tulle and underskirts. I slipped into my white chemise before Kennedy started on my corset. She laced it so tight that I couldn’t take in a deep breath. I swear that a corset is a torture device, specifically designed to make a woman appear to have an unnaturally small waist and push her breasts up to her chin. Believe me when I say that my breasts are already plenty big, I don’t need the illusion of having anything larger. Once I was effectively unable to breath , Kennedy gathered my gown and slipped it over my head, being cautious not to disturb her masterpiece atop my head. She grabbed the satin right under my bust and pulled down until it sat at my “natural” waist. She pulled the rest of the skirt out and adjusted it until my hoop skirt had disappeared.     The satin was heavier than I remembered, I was so used to my usual wool dresses and cotton skirts. This gown was exquisite, mother no doubt went out of her way to ensure that it was made special. It was a gorgeous dress, one that made my golden brown eyes pop. The dress was a dark sapphire color with a tight, structured bodice. It had a generous, “V” shaped neckline with off the shoulder straps. It flared just below my waistline and came with a full hoop skirt that made it pillow.   As I admired myself in the mirror, Kennedy came around and pinned our MacPherson family crest above my heart. She took a step back and admired her work, I swear that woman was a magician. As nervous as I was, I couldn’t wait to show my mother that I could be a lady, at least on the outside.   Kennedy excused herself to resume her normal duties. I was alone with my thoughts for a while, I knew better than to go downstairs without an escort. I knew that mother wanted to do the honors, being a special occasion and all. Normally, my younger brother James would escort me, but I knew that mother wanted to make it seemed like she cared. I was lost in my thoughts when mother knocked on the door. I could tell it was her by the amount of force she put into it; Even her knock was heavy handed and determined. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. “Come in!” She burst through the door, she looked like she was on a mission. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. Her eyes widened and I swear I heard a gasp escape her and then the tears came. This is the first time that I have ever seen her like this.   “You look gorgeous lass, you are glowing.” She came over to me and took my face in her hands, she tilted my head down and kissed me on the forehead. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. Her icy blue gaze stared deep into my soul, I could tell how proud she was. I bet that it was the first time that that has ever happened. “You are going to make such a beautiful bride Isla.” She took a step back and suddenly a switch flipped in her brain. “Now, if you could only hold your tongue tonight, everything will be just fine. Take my hand, we must not keep them waiting.” There she is! I got worried for a minute that she had a heart.   I always found it funny how I looked nothing like my mother, I was lucky enough to get my father’s features. Us three older siblings all take after our father, whereas the two youngest, take after my mother. Cora MacPherson is known for being the fierce lady throughout our clan. Her icy blue eyes and platinum blonde hair make her the epitome of an ice queen. I love my mother, because she is my mother, I am hardwired to do so, but I am not terribly torn up to be leaving her behind. She gave me the fundamentals to survive, that’s about it. She was much softer on my sisters than me and I never understood why, what did I ever do to deserve the cold shoulder?   Mother led me down to the main hall, the room was dimly lit with candles that surrounded us. There were fresh floral arrangements that wafted a sweet fragrance throughout the room. Mother let go of my arm just as we neared the platform at the far side of the room.   There are seven chairs that stretch across the platform. Mother and father of course are in the middle. My brothers are always seated on the right side of father. Us women are seated on mother’s left side; they still believe in keeping the genders separate. My father, Anderson MacPherson is a kind, generous, and humorous man. I think it is him that I get my personality from; I am most definitely a daddy’s girl. Father always comes to my rescue when I am spiraling out of control, mostly because of my mother. His dark brown hair and his fiery eyes are mirrored in mine, I am a spitting image of my father. His striking features make him appear intimidating, but for the few that get to know him, know that he is a big softy at heart. I know my father is a big goofball that loves to have a good time. Unlike most Chiefs, father took over very young. My grandfather died unexpectedly when my father was 18. I think having to lead at such a young age helped him keep his boyish charm all these years. He takes great pride in our family and our clan; he is the kind of man that earns respect from any man that he meets. On my father’s right-hand side is where my older brother, Andrew sits. He is the eldest at 23 and also shares in our father’s features. They both have such chiseled features that they could be twins. The only real difference between the two of them is that father has a sense of humor and humility. Andrew does not have either, there is no funny business with him; he can be very cold sometimes. He has been in training since he turned 18 and it will continue until father chooses to step down from his throne. I know for a fact that Andrew will rule with an iron fist. He will run a strong, efficient clan, I just wish that he would loosen up a bit. Mother has been combing the surrounding clans trying to find a nice virgin for him to marry. To Andrew, settling down is the last thing on his mind. In all honesty, I fear for his future wife, he will most likely alienate her, just like he has to the rest of us.   Then to the right of Andrew is my younger brother, James. He is second in command, when he is ready, he will become Andrew’s advisor. He takes more after my mother when it comes to her features. They share the same icy blue eyes and bright, blonde hair. Unlike mother, James got my father’s sense of humor, he never takes himself too seriously. His personality is in the middle of the road, he can be tough when he needs to be but is lighthearted and likes to have fun. I am extremely close with him, not just because of the age but James understands me. He knows that I constantly try my hardest. He has been a big supporter of mine the last couple years. I know that he’s been in father’s ear whenever mother is being to harsh or cruel. I am going to miss him so much; he is my rock and my voice of reason. I don’t know how I will manage without him, but it’s time to be a big girl, I have to figure this s**t out on my own.   On my mother’s left side sits my eldest sister, Carina. Stone cold, f*****g b***h. She is Andrew’s twin and shares the same cruel tendencies. Mother and Carina get along so well, mainly because they have the same personality and inflated sense of authority, they both despise me. It’s funny how with men, being a d**k means that “he’s a good leader.” With women, if you’re a d**k you just a b***h, stupid double standards. Well if the shoe fits. Carina shares my father’s features as well, but her attitude stems right from my mother. Nothing I do is ever good enough for Carina. I’m too fat or too skinny, my hair is a mess, I have an attitude problem, or I’m just not good enough. She tears me down every chance she gets, she humiliates me in public and always plays the victim. Carina was married off a few years ago to Chief Campbell, their territory is just a little further North of us. They are the leader in textiles, so naturally it was most advantageous for us to offer her up as p*****t. She is now on baby number 4 and is the “perfect” wife, my mother’s words, not mine. We really don’t have a relationship and I would like to keep it that way.   Then of course there’s me! My responsibility is to be married off to the son of the MacKenzie clan. It is supposed to strengthen the bond between clans on either side of the river. We would be able to solidify our trading opportunities and double the manpower when it came to our defenses. In other words, the lives of not just one clan, but two, rested on my shoulders. I would be expected to marry a perfect stranger and pop out a couple of his kids and strengthen the morale of our clans to keep the peace. I was supposed to do all of that while keeping a pretty face and my opinions to myself. Sounds easy enough, right?   The last chair belongs to my younger sister Fiona. She is my best friend; we are about 15 months apart. Fiona is extremely mature for her age, even though she just celebrated her 16th birthday. Fiona would be what you call, “the innocent virgin.” She is what every man is after, she is a stunning, fair skinned lass, and is a token rule follower. She is well mannered, very genuine, sweet and kind. I am just hoping that her new husband doesn’t eat her up and spit her back out. In our culture, if you’re pretty and quiet, you’ll do just fine. I’m afraid that Fi won’t stand up for herself, I would hate for her to be steamed rolled. Fiona has been promised to Chief MacKintosh, they are one of the smaller territories around us in the highlands, but they have direct access to the bay. Father would have liked to just absorb them but was worried about sparking a war with our closest neighbors, so naturally he offered my little sister as a bargaining chip. In exchange for my sister, we would have easier access to the coast of Inverness, which was vital for our access to imports and exports. Poor Fiona was a business transaction. She deserves so much better than that.     I must have spaced out; mother’s fingers were rapidly snapping in front of my eyes. I refocused and looked up at her with my eyes blinking wildly. “Excuse me? What was that? A lady never loses focus, we always maintain eye contact and posture. Now sit up straight!” I hate it when she barks at me, can I just be a human being for once? I squared my shoulders and pushed my back against the wood of the chair. I heard the pounding of the staff nearby, my family was about to file in and take their seats.   Father came walking down the center of the room with a large smile on his face, he was heading right for me. “Isla, don’t you look exquisite!” I blushed at father’s compliment, “come here my darling, let me get a look at you.” I stood slowly and met father at the edge of the stage. He started by kissing both of my hands and then wrapping me into a big bear hug, dad was famous for them. I could hear mother fussing about how she didn’t want my dress to get wrinkled and saw father roll his eyes. I tried to hide my giggle, but I was failing. “You look divine princess. You will make a beautiful bride, the MacKenzie clan will be lucky to have a Madame like you.” Father kissed my cheek before walking over to his chair. Andrew was next, he didn’t make eye contact with me as he walked into the hall, that was typical of him, pretending that I didn’t exist. At least I wouldn't have to tolerate him for much longer. James came strolling in shortly after Andrew. He was being his usual, goofy self. He found a pastry of some kind on the way in and took a large bite out of it as he reached the center of the room. He gave me a smile and a wink as he took another bite, causing powdered sugar to coat the front of his jacket. Mother snapped at him, at least the focus wasn’t on me. Carina couldn’t attend due to her pregnancy, thank God, I didn’t feel like dealing with her right now. Finally, was my sweet Fiona. She gave me a shy smile when she locked eyes with me. She looked breathtaking in her light, powder blue, satin gown. The color really brought out her eyes. Her dress was quite similar to mine, her dress wasn’t as puffy or grand. Mother probably wanted me to be the center of attention.   I had about 6 days until my 18th birthday, we would host our guests and my future husband until the end of the week. I would leave my family behind and travel to the MacKenzie land the day after my birthday. From there, I would officially be my husband’s property, I would have to bend at his will, obey his every word, and let him bed me without hesitation. So many things would be changing, it made my head spin. I felt my heart start to race, my palms began to sweat, and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. I knew that I had to sit down before I fainted.   Fiona had just reached me when I felt my knees buckle. She caught me quickly as to not raise suspicion, she leaned close to my ear, “Are you alright?” She stood me up on my feet and I was able to regain my composure. “I’m fine, just a little panic attack, nothing to worry about.” I tried to wave it off as best I could, but the truth is that I wanted to puke from anticipation. Fiona hooked her arm through mine and led me over to my chair. “Here, let’s sit, the MacKenzie clan will be here any minute.” I gave a small nod to thank her. I felt mother’s eyes glaring at the two of us as she positioned herself in her center chair. Fiona gave a sweet smile to reassure her, it seemed to calm mother a bit. We heard the pounding of the staff once more; our guests had arrived. I was not to stand until our visitors approached the stage and the proper introductions were given.   My eyes locked on the set of double doors on the far side of the room. My stomach was in knots as I patiently waited. I took a deep, shaky breath and tried to calm myself. My breath hitched when I heard the click of the main door, this was it, I suddenly couldn’t breathe.