Brynn's Beta

Chapter 6--Jace

Fvck! That was a close call—too close. I thought I was strong enough to walk away, but Brynn was so delectable, and her lips! Holy sh!t, kissing her was like nothing I've ever experienced. The tingles, the sensation of completeness that came from having her pressed against me. Just incredible. I was almost embarrassed about the hard-on I sported while we made out, but my wolf wasn't. He was proud of it. Showed we could satisfy our mate.

Thank Goddess Maverick linked me that I was in charge as he left with Aspen. If he hadn't interrupted us, I don't know if I could have stopped myself. Not when Brynn, my mate, was there with her luscious curves and soft lips pressed against me, folding perfectly into my form. I knew she was pretty naive and innocent, but fvck, it didn't show. She kissed me like she wanted to and she enjoyed it. I could smell her arousal and that made it even harder to pull away. Brynn didn't realize it, but she was purring against my chest. Her new wolf was right on the surface, she just didn't recognize the signs. I wouldn't have either before I shifted.

Immediately, I left the party. Not because I had to, because I needed to, because I almost crossed a serious boundary when my lips were so close to her marking spot, because Brynn had a choice when she turned 18 and I wanted her to freely choose me. I ran a hand through my hair and down the back of my neck. Hair that just had Brynn's hands tangled in it and tugging at it. Walking away from her had done nothing to ease my hard-on. I started to strip so I could shift under the guise of "checking on the patrols" but that wasn't going to work. I headed for my suite to take a cold shower. After a long, cold shower and jerking myself off at least three times, I was no closer to calming down so I headed out for a run. I ran for hours until I was completely exhausted and the first cracks of dawn were beginning to show in the sky.

Fortunately, I was going to be extremely busy for the next few days while Maverick (FINALLY!) marked his mate and cared for her. I don't know why the fvck he waited so long. He didn't say much about their relationship, preferring to protect Aspen's privacy. A time or two he mentioned he wanted to be "sure she was all in" and "confident about forever." Man, if you took one look at how she interacted with he and the pack, you knew. It was maybe a rough start, but sometime around when Maggie died, her whole attitude changed and she was all in. Big time. I get that Maverick was a cautious guy. It's one of the qualities that made him a great Alpha, but I had never heard of a wolf holding off on marking their mate for so long.

Was I focusing on Maverick's problem to distract me from my own? Yep. If Brynn would allow it, I planned to wait approximately three seconds before I marked her--just long enough to get her naked. Fvck! Now I was thinking about Brynn naked again. The next seven days were going to be torture. I knew the only way I was going to get through was by completely avoiding all contact with Brynn. My control was already tenuous and I wasn’t sure I could keep it together if I saw her every day. I was petrified of breaking the rule and I couldn’t lie to Brynn if she confronted me about my behavior. I hated what I was about to do to her. The only thing I wanted was to pull her into my arms and tell her everything would be ok, that all the confusing feelings would make sense, and that I was suffering like she was. My heart ached a little, knowing I walked away from her without a real explanation.

I didn’t want to even think about what would happen if Brynn was angry with me on her birthday. I was basically putting all my faith in the mate bond and hoping it would overcome my inability to communicate with my underage mate. There was no handbook for this, but I was doing my best. Maybe I should send her flowers or something? I don’t know. What’s the right thing to do when you make-out with your mate, can’t tell her, and leave her hanging right after? I banged my head against the desk in frustration.

One thing was certain. I made sure that she was only training with women until her birthday. It absolutely killed me that I couldn't watch over her and make sure that dipshit Sean didn't make a move. The only way I was going to get through was making sure Sean and several of the other warriors who had noticed her were busy, so I changed their training and patrol schedules as well. It was probably a little underhanded, but I was acting Alpha and it was the only way I was keeping my wolf under control.

For the next few days, I worked, ate, then slept in my suite. Well, sleep was being generous, but I laid on my bed every night, hoping sleep would come, fighting against every instinct I had to not sit outside Brynn's room, just to be close to her. She didn't even know she was my mate, and she already possessed my soul.

By day three when Maverick was back in his office, Lia confronted me. We were on our way to the training grounds when she pulled me behind a building.

"What the fvck is going on with you and Brynn?!"

"What do you mean? Nothing is going on."

"Bullsh*t! I've seen you watching her, flirting with her. You know she has a crush on you. You’re not that dense. Brynn is the best, most sweet friend, and she's been through sh!t lately. The last thing she needs is some ranked wolf going all Cassanova on her ass right before she meets her mate."

I huffed, "I'm not going 'Cassanova' on her. I promise...." I trailed off. Lia and Brynn were tight. I trusted Lia, but I didn't think I should share what exactly was happening. I knew Brynn was private, and I wanted to at least respect that.

“I … uh … I wasn’t 100% sure she was crushing on me. I mean … fvck.” I didn’t know what else to say without giving away my secret.

Suddenly, it was like a light clicked on for Lia, "Holy sh!t. You changed her training schedule, and Sean's patrol schedule. And you've been hiding out like a scared baby. Is Brynn your mate?!" Lia lowered her voice and hissed at me.

I couldn't make eye contact because I knew that would give me away. I grabbed the back of my neck and ran a hand over my face in frustration. I didn't want to lie to Lia, but I didn't want to say it out loud either. There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Oh. My. Goddess. You are her mate! Holy sh!t." Lia said the words out loud, slowly.

I grabbed her wrist, "Don't. Say. A. Word." I growled. "Don't even hint at it. Not you, not the universe, no one is finding out until Brynn is 18 and realizes it. You know the consequences."

Lia's eyes widened, "On my honor and the pack bond. I won't breathe a word. I won't. I promise.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. No one broke a pack bond oath, it was the strongest promise one could make.

“No wonder you look like sh!t. Has to be tough with her birthday so close. How long have you known?” Lia asked.

I sighed, “I suspected for a while, but realized it for sure that day you showed Aspen around.”

“Ah,” Lia gave a knowing nod. “Aspen picked up on something between you guys. She asked me about it.”

“Really? That’s pretty intuitive for a normal.” I wondered what else Aspen had figured out since she had been with the pack. We started walking back to the training field. After a minute, Lia nudged my shoulder and whispered, "Dude. That's awesome."

I looked over and her and grinned. It was indeed awesome and only four more days. I could hide in my room for that long.

“Anything I can do?”

I shrugged, “I’ve been avoiding Brynn since the dance. I don’t know how much more control I have and I can’t mess this up.”

“Hmm. That makes sense. Well, I’m on your side. I know she’s been crushing on you for a while so if the opportunity presents itself, I will say nice things.”

“Thanks. Now, please, do me a favor and spar with me. I really need to hit something.”

Lia laughed and took a defensive stance. We ended up sparring for over an hour. I have to admit, she was tough and she almost pinned me a few times. A bunch of the other warriors gathered around to watch us and there was a lot of trash talking, betting, and cheering that ensued.

The whole morning was good for me and helped me focus, remembering what was important. The last few days before a teen gets their wolf are important. That bond starts to form between the new wolf and their person and that needs to happen with minimal distraction. I didn’t understand all the magic behind it, but I knew the bond was one reason for the underage mate rule. I wanted to honor that and show my love and respect for Brynn before she even knew. I just hoped that eventually she would understand my absence and that I would have a chance to explain.

The rest of the day was busy and that night, the exhaustion finally caught up with me and I slept.

Brynn

After Jace kissed me and left me, I was more conflicted than ever. I wanted to run back to my room and dissect the whole night with Ivy, but I also didn’t want to tell her anything while I was still processing what happened. Finally, I decided to talk to Lia. I needed some serious girl advice and Lia just had more experience since she was older. Plus, she was honest and would be truthful even if it was uncomfortable for me. I loved Ivy, but sometimes I think she protected my feelings too much.

I grabbed some snacks and headed to Lia’s new digs. Since she was officially our Gamma, her living situation got a serious upgrade. She had a three-bedroom suite with an attached patio on one of the higher floors of the pack house. I was low-key obsessed with her space and could envision living in something just like it someday.

Dropping all the snacks on the counter, I popped open some liquor. There was no way I was getting through tonight without some liquid courage. After throwing back a few shots, Lia looked at me curiously.

“Brynn, what’s up? You never drink this much.” Lia looked a little concerned.

“I need some advice and some girl time.”

“What kind of advice?”

“Boy advice.”

Lia grabbed a bottle and plopped down on the couch, “Ok, spill. What’s up?”

I leaned over the kitchen island, “Jace and I made-out at the dance and then he left and I haven’t seen him since. I don’t know what to do!”

“Well, generally I suggest a little vibrating toy to ease some of the tension …” Lia started.

“NOT THAT!” I yelled, a little embarrassed. “I meant, I don’t know what to do about Jace. Do I talk to him? Wait for him to talk to me? Leave whatever is between us alone? Hope I meet my mate on my birthday and never think about Jace again?” Dramatically, I flopped on the couch, “UGH! Why is this SO HARD?! I just want Jace to make-out with me some more. Maybe get a little handsy. I’m a grown ass woman. What is he so afraid of? Surely, it’s not my brothers!”

Lia smirked, “It’s probably just that awkward grown-up transition. For your whole life you’ve been ‘the little sister’ and all of a sudden, you’re not little and you are gorgeous, you have boobs, and Jace is a dude. He has no idea how to handle it. I’m sure if you just walked up to him and kissed him again, he wouldn’t complain.”

“How do you know?! OMG, did he talk about me??”

“Brynn, don’t be ridiculous. He’s a man, of course he wants to kiss you again. I don’t understand this conversation,” Lia teased. “You guys have been flirting for months. Enjoy it and quit stressing so much. So you turn 18 and he’s not your mate, but you’re still really into him. Have a little fun. Relax. There’s no pressure here. Jace is a total gentleman and respectful. He won’t push you into something you don’t want and if you want fun, I bet he will give it to you.”

“You think?” Lia was giving me some ideas.

“Yep,” she continued, “Brynn, is part of this because you don’t have a ton of experience with guys? You’re nervous because you’re not sure how to make a move? Or what comes after the move?”

“Partly,” I confessed. “I mean I think I know what I like, or at least I’m getting there, but I’m just … I’m not sure how to take the next step. What if … Jace, for example, is disappointed or something? Or I embarrass myself?”

Lia looked thoughtful, “You know your feelings are totally normal. It’s natural that things are awkward your first couple of times—especially with a new partner, but I promise. If you get naked, any guy would be thrilled.”

“Really?”

“Yep. And don’t worry about being embarrassed. Just lean into the awkwardness and go for it. Trust me, any guy would be lucky to have you.”

I blushed a little, “You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Thanks, Lia. I … just … I’m so confused right now.”

“I know. I remember the days before I got my wolf. It’s really tough. You’re going to be fine, Brynn. You’re handling much better than I did.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. I threw myself at several different people in the days before my birthday. I didn’t understand what was happening with all the hormones and new feelings. I didn’t really have anyone. I mean my mom tried to help me, but she wasn’t super functional after my dad died,” Lia explained. “Trust me, you are doing nothing embarrassing.”

I laughed a little. “Thanks, Lia. I’m feeling a lot better. Should we make some popcorn? We could watch the newest episode of our show.”

“Sounds great! Just know you’re not alone in this. And if you need anything, anything at all, just come to me.”

I sighed, “You’re the best. I don’t care what Ivy says.”

Lia laughed, “Oh! She’s going to get you for that when I tell her!”

I laughed with Lia, “Can’t wait.”

I went to bed that night feeling much better and I had a plan. Once I turned 18, if Jace wasn’t at my door the morning of my birthday because he was my mate, I was going to have some fun. Maybe with him, if my mate wasn’t in the pack. Maybe I would just go up to his floor, push him against the wall, kiss him, and see what happened.