Stryker

13 - I can't look him in the eye

Stryker

I don’t know what’s bothering Coral, but she’s been quieter than usual for the past week. She quit her job and wouldn’t tell me why. All she would say was that it wasn't the job for her. That should have been enough for me, but I know it’s something else. Coral does not strike me as the kind of woman who would quit her job so easily; she’s hardworking and never gives up.

Her parents called, and she lied to them about how well the job was working out, which confused me. Then she told me she’d lied because her mother would bang on about how she’d be better off going back to California when Coral doesn’t want that. So, I let that one go. But I’ve repeatedly asked her why she quit the way she did. She gets agitated and practically begs me to drop it.

I want to know what happened, but I can’t keep going on at her about it, though. If Coral doesn’t want to talk, then I can’t make her. If she doesn’t want to work at that place, then she doesn’t have to.

She has an interview with another company next week, one that offers better perks, more hours, and higher pay. Coral might not have any real experience, but she’s damn good at what she does; she is undoubtedly smarter than anyone I’ve ever met. She’s hoping they’ll hire her so she can provide for herself. I have no doubt they will. She’s brilliant, and I’m so proud of her for wanting to work and make something of herself.

Believe me, I’ve met plenty of women who don’t work. Not because they can’t but because they don’t want to. Much like my mother, who never worked a day in her life. I don’t know; maybe she sorted her life out after she left, got herself a job, a new relationship, or even had more kids and became the perfect mother. Doubtful, but everyone can change if they really want to. So Taylor once told me.

When it comes to Coral, I wish she’d tell me what happened in that place. I suppose I could go over to that damn office and make the fucke.r she worked for tell me what went on, but I know Coral would never forgive me. I mentioned it to her, and she flipped out on me, saying that if I cared about her at all, then I’d leave it alone.

Of course, that made me more suspicious, and I questioned her more. Then she got upset and cried and told me that nothing happened, and why wouldn’t I believe her? I told her because I cared about her, and then she told me she didn’t want me getting in trouble if I did something to her old boss when there was no need to do anything. It could happen if I didn’t kill the cunt, and he squealed like a pig to the cops.

I’m a biker; we aren’t immune to prison. Truth be told, the club can do without the police on our backs right now. They’d love nothing more than to lock the lot of us up or kill us; either way, it would be okay with them.

If it weren’t for Shepard’s connections in the force, half of us would be rotting in a cell somewhere right now. However, after telling Shepard my fears that Coral’s boss may have propositioned her somehow because I couldn’t keep it to myself, the churning in my gut wouldn’t let up. Well, let’s just say said boss had a nasty accident. Pretty convincing accident, too. He should have gotten his brakes checked.

Coral wasn’t even shocked. I could tell from how she looked at me that she knew I had something to do with it, but she never brought it up, so neither did I.

Speaking of Shepard, I don’t know how much longer I can keep my relationship with Coral from him. I feel like a dic.k for lying like this. Not only to him but to BlackJack, too. I owe that man so fuckin.g much. He saved my damn life, brought me into his family, and to this day, treats me like one of his own. It churns my gut to know I’m lying to him. I guess that’s why I’m standing in front of him, telling him everything. I couldn’t go one more day lying to him. I couldn’t even look the man in the eye.

“Jesus.” His hand slides through his long, dark hair, eyes locked on me. “Of all the stupid things you could have done!” He yells at me as a father would, but the fact is, this man is no more than a decade older than I am.

“I didn’t mean it. Jesus, I tried to stay away from her. Fuc.k, did I try.”

“Not nearly hard enough! Do you have any idea what Shepard will do to you when he finds out?”

“Yes,” I fold my arms around my chest. “I know what he’ll do, BlackJack, but she’s worth it. Fuc.k, she’s worth everything to me.”

“Worth losin’ your place with the club for?” I nod. “Worth losin’ your life for?!”

“Was Taylor worth it to you?!” I yell in retaliation. Ain’t no one gonna tell me Coral’s not worth it. She’s worth everything that’s to come. Everything I have to endure just for loving her.

BlackJack sighs audibly. He’s frustrated with me; I get it, but he knows what it’s like to be torn from the woman he loves more than life itself.

“Yeah, she was worth it. But answer me this. Do you love the girl?”

“I do. Didn’t think I’d ever feel it, but I love her, BlackJack, with everything I am.”

“Shepard is only worried about her, Stryker. We were both there when she went through something no little girl should ever have to go through.” I open my mouth to ask him what he’s talking about, but he shakes his head. “It ain’t my place to tell you that story, boy. Only Coral can do that. But I will tell you that Shepard would kill any man who hurt that girl. I don’t want that man to be you.”

“I would never hurt Coral, BlackJack, I love her.”

His hand comes down on my shoulder, looking me right in the eye. We’re both as tall as each other, so it’s not hard to do. “I won’t say anything to Shepard. The respectful thing to do would be for you to talk to him. But remember that he’s my best friend and I can’t keep this secret forever. Talk to Coral. It’s time you both come clean about your relationship.”

“I’ll talk to her tonight. I’m sorry I let you down, BlackJack.” Ain’t gonna lie, fuckin’ hurts to think that, but it’s how I feel.

“You haven’t let me down, Stryker. You haven’t let anyone down. You fell in love with a girl you shouldn’t have. I’ve been there. I know how it feels to love someone so much you can’t breathe when they’re not near you. I fought for Taylor, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. Now you do the same. Show Shepard what Coral means to you, and I promise he’ll come around.”

I nod.

His arms come around my shoulders, pulling me into a fatherly hug. “I’m proud of you, Stryker.”

I hug him tighter, the only man I’ve ever allowed to touch me like this. “Thank you. Means a lot.” It means everything to me to know someone is proud of me. Now, all I have to do is convince Coral it’s time to come clean. Ready or not, we have to.

“What’s going on?”

I pull away from BlackJack as Taylor walks through the door, eyes darting between us, wondering what’s wrong.

“Stryker, are you okay, sweetheart?” She strokes the back of my head like a mother taking care of me.

Makes me smile.

“I’m fine, Taylor.” I hug her. She’s shocked, I don’t do this shi.t. However, I think it’s time I thanked her for everything she’s ever done for me.

Have I actually ever really thanked her?

I’m not an ignorant cunt; I just don’t know how to show my feelings. I seem to think everyone should already know what I’m thinking and feeling. I never step back and really give it much thought. But right now, holding Taylor, I realize just how grateful I am to know her.

Taylor is the most selfless woman I have ever known. She puts everyone above herself. Never does she ask anyone for anything. She loves easily and wholeheartedly. She’d give you the last dime in her purse, the clothes off her back if it meant it would keep you warm for a little while.

She’s an angel on earth. I honestly believe that.

She rubs my back soothingly.

I’m huge in both height and size compared to her, but she holds on to me like a mother would her son.

How can she care about me this much?

I was a punk kid off the street who tried to rob her husband, but Taylor brought me into her home and loved me like one of her own. Like she’d known me my whole life. She never asked me about my past; she told me that if I needed to talk to her about anything, she wouldn’t judge me, and she’d listen and help me through it.

It took me a fuckin.g long time, years, to get out what I hid inside, but the moment I told Taylor and BlackJack what happened to me as a kid, why I was living on the street... The real truth. They didn’t judge me. They listened to everything I had to say.

Once they had, they told me that the past was gone, and I was one of them now, and I never had to worry about anything like that happening to me again. I was, and am, part of their family, and nothing will ever change that.

Hell, I even took their surname. Legally changed mine to Anderson with their blessing. Taylor cried when I asked if it would be okay. But she told me that, in her heart, I had always been an Anderson. Gone was Mark Campbell, never to return. Mark Anderson was born, and I have tried so hard to make BlackJack and Taylor as proud of me as possible. I know now that I have.

I pull Taylor at arm’s length; her eyes never leave me. “I don’t think I’ve ever really thanked you for what you’ve done for me over the years.”

“Oh, Stryker,” She cups my face. “You don’t need to say the words for me to feel them.”

“But I do. Without you and Jack, I’d be dead now. You gave me a home, a family, something to live for. You are the most selfless, kind-hearted, caring woman I have ever had the pleasure to know.” I can see tears in Taylor’s eyes as they flick to BlackJack.

I look at him for a second. He’s smiling at the two of us. He knows I need to get this out, so he won’t interrupt until I'm done.

“You give so much to those you care about, even the beggar on the street because that’s the kind of woman you are. You never ask for anything in return, Taylor.” It’s my turn to cup her face. She’s a beautiful woman, and no one could ever say she’s not. “I hope you’re in my life for the rest of it. If I’m ever lucky enough to have kids, I want them to know everything about you. I want them to know the special woman who saved my life.”

“Oh,” Her hands come up to her face; she’s crying; I’ve overwhelmed her. I’m a little emotional myself, and I never did emotions until Coral came into my life.

Taylor looks up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. “You mean the world to me, Stryker. I will always be in your life because, in my heart, you are my son. I don’t give a damn about the age thing. I’m not bothered that there are but eight years between us. You’re a special man, and you deserve a loving family. You’ve been an amazing big brother to my boys. They love you as much as Jack and I do.”

I look over at BlackJack, who nods in agreement.

Fuckin’ emotions. Coral has turned me soft!

“Thank you. Thank you both for everything.”

* * *

“What’s wrong, Mark?”

There's nothing wrong other than the guilt eating away at me. I need to tell Shepard about Coral and me before it’s too late. I can’t have him finding out from anyone but me. I have more respect for the man than that.

“There’s nothing wrong, Little Bird.” I smile at Coral, who is looking at me with a curious look on her face.

I went right over to her place after I spoke to BlackJack. Now that BlackJack knows about us, I don’t feel so bad. That man means more to me than I could ever say. He gave me some sage advice. Now, I just have to convince Coral that we can’t continue keeping this relationship to ourselves. She deserves more than that.

I reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear. Her eyes close at the feeling of my fingertips skimming her cheek.

Can she be any more beautiful?

I love this woman as I’ve never loved another human being in my life before, not like this. I didn’t mean for it to happen, never thought it could this quickly, but damn if I don’t want it. I fuckin’ crave her like a damn drug.

My life before Coral came along consisted of nothing but the club. They gave me a home and a family. Taylor and BlackJack gave me everything normal parents would. But I didn’t have anything that was mine.

Coral is mine.

“Do you have any idea what you mean to me?”

She bites her lower lip, trying to hide the smile on her lips. God, what it does to me when she bites that pouty lip.

I tug it free with my thumb.

Her eyes are on my lips.

I would never force her to do anything she’s not ready for, but fuc.k if I don’t want her right now.

If she pushes me away, I’ll let her go, but I need to taste her lips. Right. Fuckin.g. Now.