5. Broken
2106 Words
Wendy POV
It's been a week since I met Damien and the others at the park. Guess who's been miserable since? Yeah, it's hopeless to deny the love I still have for the man that put the knife in my back like it was nothing. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive being married with all this drama flying around me.
How am I and my new husband supposed to start our 'life' together when I'm forced into a situation I'm not comfortable in from the beginning? I want to be mad at my father, but somehow, I can't. I'm rather disappointed than angry, because he did what he thought was best at the moment.
Frankly, I don't think that he ever thought it would come to this; that he would be forced to use a deal he made with this persons father to ensure our family's safety. My father may be brutal in the underground world and the business community, but he's a sweetheart regarding family.
Ivan would rather die than see his relatives hurt or in pain. That's one of the things I respect most about him, which also is the biggest reason why I can't hate him for the sacrifice he makes me do. We have the same train of thought regarding family, and that makes it easier for me to accept my fate.
Because I, like my father, would gladly to in order to keep my family secured. An arranged marriage is a small price to pay if you compare to what I get in return; my children's ability to continue living. There's nothing more important to me than my babies, and it'll never be.
I haven't met the person I'm marrying to talk about this, even though I know well who he is. Why haven't I spoken to him about it? Because I'm not even close to being ready for that discussion to take place. I'm freaking marrying a man I don't want to marry, that's about all the crazy I can take at the moment.
Thankfully, I have my children to keep me sane. They've been asking me more and more questions, which I've answered as best as I can. We only have one important rule in our family, 'no lying, and no secrets'. It's funny how minors understand the concept when a grown man, in this case, their father, doesn't.
I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but for some reason, I felt the need to drop the kids off at Damien's place today. I felt compelled to do so, like an invisible forcefield made me come here to check on him. Yes, I know that I hurt him deeply, but I still care about him.
Isn't it funny when you kind of want to kiss and strangle the person with your bare hands at the same time? I wouldn't call it normal, but what the hell, nothing about our relationship have ever been defined with what ordinary people would call 'normal'. We are f****d up, all of us.
Fiona's little hand knocks on Damien's front door, and all of us are waiting in anticipation. I can hear heavy footsteps moving towards us, and honestly, I'm a little bit nervous about this encounter. Because all of them have stopped calling and texting me, like they don't care anymore. Maybe they don't.
The door opens and reveals a shocked Damien. His eyes land on Caleb first, confusion written all over his features. You see, Caleb hasn't slept here since the truth came out, because he didn't want too. I don't know what Damien did during their time together, but something changed, and I'm happy for them.
"Daddy!" the four siblings say in unison before they launch themselves onto him.
That poor soul looks like he's going to explode by the pressure all of our angels put on his body by their hugs. He chuckles at them, but surprise still stays within him. Especially when he looks at me, and I'm smiling at the sight before me. I haven't smiled at Damien for a long time, I get why he's shocked.
"Hello, Damien," I say politely.
He slowly rises from his crouching position between the kids and stand tall with his 6'6 intact. His mouth is twitching from holding back the smile I always get in return. I know he's hurt, and I don't blame him. During this week, I've realized what a low blow it was to do what I did.
"Wendy," he acknowledges coldly. "Is Gregorio sick today?"
"No."
"Oh, I thought something like that would be going on. Since you haven't left the children here once on your own."
"I kind of thought we could... Talk?" I say uncertainly and he breaks out into a smile.
"I would like that very much. Coffee?" he asks and open up the door further.
"If you don't mind," I answer and enter.
The triplets and Fiona ran inside as soon as they ended the hug with their dad. Which left me and Damien in our awkward on/off situation. Not much has changed since the last time I was here, except the toys scattered all around the living room.
"How do you take your coffee nowadays?" he asks me casually without looking away from the coffee maker.
"Plain black, thank you," I answer and fidget with my hands, not sure where to place them.
He nods and fill two cups with the black liquid. As soon as the cup meets the kitchen island, I bring it close to me, relaxing somewhat, when I now know what to do with my hands. I take a couple of sips slowly to gain time.
(If you want to set the mood, put on "Never be afraid again" by Christian Walz, that's the song I was listening to while writing this to make the right mood.)
"I'm sorry that I hurt you at the park," I finally say lowly.
His once tense build relaxes visually when he breathes out a deep sigh. He rubs his face before he sits down, there's one barstool between us. All I want is to hug him when I clearly can see that he's dropped his facade and looks utterly broken. My God, did I do that?
"It's not like I didn't deserve it, we're fine," he answers and gives me a tired smile.
"You must understand that I've been so mad at you for a long time now. I'm used to trying to hate you, to forget you, and tell myself that I don't need you. But it's hard for me, I don't like to accept defeat easily, and now with this whole marriage thing going on... I'm scared," I say sadly with a wobbling voice, feeling vulnerable.
"I know, baby," he says and I'm about to reprimand him for calling me by his pet name for me when he continues. "No, don't even begin. You are my baby, and you'll always be my baby. Things got f****d up between us, and I know it's mostly my fault for not trusting you enough to tell the truth. It's my fault for not believing in your capability to ensure your own safety. I was in the wrong, not you, never you. And even though it hurts to see you getting married to someone else, I'll always be there for you if you need me, because I love you."
A single tears fall from my eye, and Damien wipes it away with his thumb, smiling sadly. It doesn't matter how much we irritate and hurt each other, we both know the truth; we're always going to love each other. To us, it doesn't matter though, since our destinies already have been written.
"I have a suggestion," he says and looks at me with hope twinkling in his eyes.
"What suggestion might that be?" I ask, afraid of the answer.
"How about we meet a few times a week, just the two of us?"
"Damien, we're not good at this whole dating thing, you know that..."
"No! This time it would be different."
"Different how?"
"We don't put a label on it, and it wouldn't even be dates. Simply two people who are enjoying each others company until the uncontrollable takes place. We're both getting married, but in the meantime, let's get to know each other for real."
I'm uncertain. Is this truly a good idea? My heart is screaming 'hell yes' while my brain is telling me 'no way'. I don't know which part I should listen to. But when Damien gazes into my eyes, I find myself nodding my head slowly.
"Alright, I'm ready to give this a chance. But no one gets to know about this, especially not the kids," I answer.
"All I ask for is one last chance, and if I f**k it up this time, you're more than welcome to kick my ass anyway you want."
That makes me chuckle by the funny image I get in my head. Damian on his knees as a submissive b***h, doing everything I'm telling him to do. No, no! Wendy, stop thinking dirty! Damien gives me a knowing smile, but decide not to comment.
We end up talking about easier topics, like hobbies, favorite food, and things like that. There is no need for us to talk about dark and deep things now, we're not on that level yet. If we want this to go well, we need to take things extremely slow.
I didn't realize how late it was until the kids came out into the kitchen, telling us they were sleepy. Fiona is half asleep when she reaches us, and I pick her up. Our beautiful little princess falls asleep in my arms before I've even reacted.
I put her little body in her bed and cover her with the comforter. She sighs by content and makes an adorable snort noise. I tiptoe out of there and walk into Caleb's room, kiss his forehead before leaving again. I do the same to the other boys, and sneak into the kitchen where Damien is waiting.
"I think it's time for me to go," I say and move towards the door.
"What? Why?" Damien asks and hurries to follow me.
"I need to get back home. There's laundry everywhere and the kids drew on the walls earlier," I sigh and rub my forehead.
"The laundry and cleaning will still be there tomorrow... Please, stay here tonight," he pleads.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, you can take my bed and I'll take the couch."
"What happened to the other bedroom?"
"Well, they're filled with all sorts of crap I haven't had time to go through," he answers and scratches the back of his head.
"Alright, I stay, but only for one night," I say and look him straight in the eye.
"Yes, ma'am," he answers with a smirk.
***
It's three AM and I still haven't fallen asleep. I have a hard time relaxing, knowing that Damien probably is uncomfortable laying on the lumpy couch the kids have jumped on until it broke. I make a decision and sneak my way into the living room. He's awake, I can sense it.
"Damien?" I whisper.
"Wendy?" he whispers back in confusion.
"Um... I can't sleep. Would you mind to...?" I whisper, ashamed to ask.
I don't even have to ask, he rises and takes my hand before we walk to his bedroom. He's holding me close to his chest and that makes my heart jump in my chest. No kissing or touching, just some wonderful closeness and cuddling. This, this is life!
A/N:
Hello everyone!
I know that I said that I wouldn't update more today, but I couldn't hold it. It's 4.42 AM here, and I've just finished this chapter to all of you. What is your thoughts? Are they rushing things again or is this love not meant to die?
Lots of love<3
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