8. Pretend like nothing happened
2025 Words
Wendy POV
Now we are here again where we started with Damien pretending that nothing has happened, I'm very tired of it. I have started to leave the children and pick them up; it made the whole situation for the children more comfortable. Every time I meet Damien either at drop-off or pick-up, he pretends that everything is as it once was, which is not the case.
At the same time, I can not directly say anything about it because the children are present, and I want to avoid the confusion as much as possible. This situation is not easy for anyone, at least the little ones, which is why I see no real sense in intensifying something that is already complicated.
No matter what his plan is, I can already say that it will not work. A relationship is built on trust and respect, trust is long gone, respect followed shortly after. If someone breaks my belief, then they also lose my respect at the same time. It's not harder.
You may think this is easy for me, if you do, you can't be more wrong. None of this is straightforward and manageable. Every time I see Damien, it feels like someone is crushing my heart into his fist, I love him, but I have to let him go for the sake of my own peace of mind.
If I'm perceived as evil and mean, that's okay. I'd rather Damien hate me and stay away than he loves me and never let me go. Our relationship can't handle more now, it's too late, and the sooner he realizes it, the better.
However, it does not seem that it will happen in the near future; he does not surrender. Love is a war, and you can never really win without losing anything in the process. If I choose to go back to him, I lose my pride, if I decide to stay away, I win my self-esteem, but I get a broken heart.
It doesn't matter how long it takes, because I already know about it; Damien will always be the love of my life, and I will always love him secretly. But let's be real here, we're both getting married. My marriage may be arranged, but his is not.
He should spend more time with that woman who can give him everything he deserves and needs instead of continuing to try to get me back because I can't give him even a hint of what he should have. We are toxic to each other and should not be together.
My pride is the only thing I have to hold on to; everything else withered and died a long time ago. I owe that to my ’parents’ and Jake; they choked my happiness until I was just an empty shell with pain left. I don’t expect him to understand, only that he should respect.
I haven’t seen everything I want to see, and I’ve had to feel everything I didn’t want to feel. None of what I once planned for my future turned out as it should. I have my children, and I am very grateful for that, besides that, I am empty. My children are all I have.
Depressing, isn’t it? We are shaped by life and the conditions we have at birth; for example, if you are born into a wealthy family, you have good terms and are at risk of being eaten by the unreliable and ungrateful elite.
Are you born into a family that does not have much money but that gives you a love and the knowledge of how to household with cash, to be grateful for what you have, then you will take you further. Maybe not academically or climbing high in the labor market, but you keep your morale.
Unfortunately, I was one of those who was born into a family that consisted solely of who you know, what you can buy, how others look at you, nannies, elite schools, and dinners with two icy parents who do not care about their child.
In all honesty, I take the low-income family over the rich if I have the opportunity to start over my life at some point. My children and I are not rich, but we are not poor either, middle class instead. Fortunately, I have managed to teach them the value of money and the gratitude of having what they have.
That’s one of the reasons they also have Damien living a luxury-class life where he can buy whatever he wants without ever having to keep an eye on his bank account. In this way, they will have a chance to live in both the rich and the ’poor’ homes, which will ultimately help them in life.
All the life experiences and knowledge they can accumulate before they become adults is a win. I have won a loving home by living as I do with my children, while Damien has his money and is unhappy.
It is possible that he is not in such a way when he has the children with him, but money has a common side effect of making people unhappy. We are herd animals just like many other mammals, and he does not have many people in his life because he does not know who is genuine and who is looking for his money.
I do not have to worry about it, because I do not have such money and therefore also can not be exploited for the money I earn. All these are just theories, and I have no evidence that what I’m saying is true, but it’s an interesting thought, right? Our kids need to see all of the lifestyles to learn the differences.
"Ms. Ivanovich, you have a call on line two," my assistant says and drags me back to reality.
I'm hesitant to answer, afraid that it might be him, Damien. We have barely spoken when we've seen each other, and frankly, I don't want to. The situation is complicated, and I don't know how to act. I pray a silent prayer, push the button to connect the call and answer.
"Yes, welcome to E&N, how can I help you?" I say in my formal voice.
"Wendy!" it's Adrien's voice and I immediately relax. "Damn, you sound so elegant when you answer like that. If I were straight, I would bang you so hard to hear you say that again."
"Ew, you're disgusting," I answer and scruch up my nose. "What do you want?"
"Bah, you love me! Straigh to the point I see... Well, I was wondering if you wanted to eat dinner with me tonight? Please, it was such a long time ago."
"When you say 'me', do you really mean just you or are the brothers going to be with you?" I ask, suspicious of his wording choice.
"Fine, you got me!" he sighs and I make an 'mhm' sound in return. "But I'm begging you, please come with us."
"It's going to be awkward between Damien and me, you know it."
"We'll make sure it doesn't!"
"I have the kids this week, you know that. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a babysitter this late?"
"Can't you ask your dad? He's their grandfather after all, I'm sure he won't mind."
Damn, he got me there. Ivan loves his grandchildren, and unlike others, he doesn't favorize anyone. He treats them all as equals, and that's a beautiful thing to me. I want to go, but at the same time, I really don't. But Adrien's trying hard to make me forgive him, of course, I can't say no to this.
"Fine! But if it gets awkward, I'm holding you responsible for it," I answer with a sigh and rub my face.
"Great! I'll see you at Alfredo's at seven o'clock, bye!"
***
Damien POV
It's heavy without Wendy by my side, and I don't know what to do. I want her to keep my heart and my soul. That she should put my head on her lap, say that she means, and wishes me well. As I've waited all these years for her, the only one who can heal my wounds.
To take my hands, and make me whole, take my heart, take my soul. Just let me stay there because everything I ask of her, everything I crave, is her love. She's my one and only, my ride or die. But I'm afraid that I've f****d it up too much this time.
It's clear as a day that she isn't trusting me anymore like she used to, I guess that's what happens when the same guy screw her over more than once. I'm becoming angrier and angrier at myself for not telling her the truth she deserved from the beginning, and now... Now it's too late.
I haven't stopped thinking about her feelings appropriately during all of these events. Her mental illness became neglected by me, and so did her trust, along with love. This isn't her fault, it's mine, and I'm going to win her back no matter what happens.
It does not matter how much I try to push her aside in my mind, because she will forever have a place in my heart. Explaining my feelings for Wendy is harder than everything else I've ever done, but I'll try as best I can for you to understand…
Imagine that you were forced to test your morals, that you had no other choice. Imagine doing it for the only ones you have left, ask yourself; would you have done the same thing? Walking on the same road, in shoes made of concrete, so many heavy days, and the night is too long.
When the rain pours down and everything breaks, you do what you can to be whole. When darkness falls upon everything you love, you do what you are required, even though it is wrong behind closed doors. No one there who sees and hears, there is no other way out, the misery never ends.
If you tested your morals, if you had no other choice, because the only thing you have left, then you would have done the same thing, right? But how am I supposed to make her understand it without it getting wrong? I love her even though I have no right to do so… My phone vibrates and I answer.
"Hello?"
"Damien, thank God you finally answer!" Jaxon's voice exclaims dramatically.
"What is it?" I ask in a sigh.
"Wow. 'Hello, dear brother! How are you? How's life going?' that's how you start a conversation you know..."
"Hello, dear brother! How are you, how's life going and what do you want?" I ask in a faked happy tone.
"You're unbelievable, just like Wendy! Anyway, me, Brody, and Adrien are going out for dinner at seven. You want to come with us?"
"I'm not really up for it..."
"Oh, come on! Adrien even convinced Wendy to come with us for your sake, the least you can do is show up to eat."
"Wendy's coming?" I ask in a hopeful voice.
"Yeah, but I guess you're not up for it so... I'll see you monday."
"NO!" I yell before composing myself. "Um, I mean... Of course, I'll be there if Adrien went through all that trouble."
"Yeah, right. Well, see you at seven!" he laughs and hangs up while I'm the happiest man on earth, I'm just no sure about how long that happiness is going to stay...
A/N:
Hello everyone!
What did you think of the chapter? They're finally meeting all of them, and hopefully they can have a nice night together without all the drama. Thank you for reading!
Lots of love <3
Follow me for updates;
FB: Dreame author Linnea Heikka
Insta: author_linneaheikka
- Writer
