Loving Him

Didn't I Tell You?

“Ugh you’re such a pig,” Amethyst trailed behind me in the lunch line her goons looking awfully smug with themselves. Mrs. Harold (the lunch lady) tended to prepare a bit extra for me no matter if I ate that day or not. Maybe it was because she’d practically seen me grow up or something.

    “Rather fat and happy than skinny and miserable. Oh by the way tell Clinton I said hey,” not that she would even be able to get close to him. After their breakup, the social hierarchy of the school had booted Amethyst back into the middle ranks while Clinton remained top-tier. From what I could tell he was even avoiding all her attempts to talk.

    Her face contorted with rage and she opened her mouth to say something but quickly snapped it shut. Stepping close enough for her breath to fan my face she hissed, “A bunny like you is only good for one thing. If you aren’t spreading your legs then you might as well disappear from the world. It’s not like anyone would miss you.”

    Then she pushed past me jabbing me harshly in my shoulder. I managed not to wince but simply glared after her.

    There was some truth to her words I suppose. At the end of the day I really only knew how to use my body to survive. But even if no one would miss me I refused to disappear. My mother still needed someone to look after her.

    Clutching my hand to my chest I scowled.

    She really shouldn’t throw around her words so much. Anyone else might actually do it. Sadly though, I’ve grown accustomed to it.

    Behind me, for a moment I imagined all the seats in the cafeteria turned to me, a look of malice on all their faces in unison they laughed. The loud jeering sound kept me frozen in place.

    If I moved a muscle they would lunge, predator vs prey.

    “Hey, you good?” A hand came down on my shoulder and I jumped. Gaze snapping up I realized with a sigh of relief that it was only Wren. His hair was gelled back and he was wearing a flannel and a pair of work boots.

    “Are you going somewhere?” I couldn’t help ask. Usually, Wren is dressed sloppily albeit a contained sort of sloppiness. A thick jacket a wrinkled shirt and silver chains around his neck. Although the chains are still there he is looking more dressed up than usual. “Like some sort of conference for kids like you.”

    “My brothers coming home today, he’s bringing his girlfriend and he wants all of us to leave a good impression.” He sounded almost disinterested as he spoke about his brother. It was something I noticed this past week about him. "And kids like me?" He laughed.

    A younger sister named Eden and an older brother named Easton. I wondered if both would be as good looking as Wren. Shaking away the thoughts I shrugged off his hand and started walking to my usual table in the back. Les was already there looking half-dead.

    “What happened to you?”

    “I got some bad news yesterday. You’ll comfort me won’t you?” Les reached out for me and I scoffed.

    “Comfort yourself.”

    “Oh please~”

    If I hadn’t been holding my tray of food I might have slammed my hand against his head. Instead, I took my seat across from him. Doing my best to ignore as Wren took a seat beside me.

    For the past week, Wren had been following me around like some sort of stray puppy. Ducking in and out of classrooms couldn’t shake him, and something told me he’d even started following me home. If he was a stalker his movements were way too obvious but his attachment hadn’t managed to annoy me yet so I was leaving him be. On the other hand, this was the first time I’d spoken to Les since I came back to school. Of course, his slimy character hadn’t changed much except he did genuinely seem sick.

    His eyes fidgeted to me before he buried his head into the crook of his elbow. I didn’t want to pry, and even if I did there was half a chance he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. Besides we weren’t friends so I really didn’t see the point in pretending to care.

    Still, I slid my carton of milk over to him, he snatched it in one fell swoop.

    Turning to my meal I busied myself unwrapping every part. I’ve mentioned this before but school lunches aren’t edible most days, no amount of extra food could change that, still, I hadn’t eaten since the day Wren took me out to buy food so I couldn’t complain.

    Something hard landed on my head and I caught a half-eaten apple before it fell onto my food. There was some snickering behind me and someone in a mocking tone loudly yelled, “Sorry! I was aiming for the dumpster.”

    This is exactly why I hated the cafeteria.

    Couldn’t just let me eat my food in peace.

    “You just gonna let them do that?” Wren glared at the people behind me with fury in his eyes. Scoffing I dropped the apple on the table and clicked my tongue.

    “What’s the point? Even if I tell them something now they’ll just do something again in the hallway.”

    “And,” Les glanced up at Wren a lethargic smile on his face, “if he tries anything then things only get worse for him.”

    It was true. Most of the kids who lived in my neighborhood had parents who frequently visited my mom so in some way, their hatred for me was justified. Their retaliations in response to me defending myself were also things I wouldn’t look forward to. I couldn’t count on my hand how many times a group of boys had jumped me on my way home at the behest of their girlfriends. Those same scumbags always tried to get funny ideas.

    I shivered the memories away.

    “Just ignore them. It’s easier that way.” I attempted to wave Wren’s anger away but I underestimated just how ‘righteous’ he could be. In a flash, he’d grabbed the apple and launched it somewhere behind me. I barely managed to turn but Wren had already flown off his seat.

    The entire cafeteria seemed to erupt.

    Wren grabbed the boy, Chris whatever-his-name-is, and held him steady by his collar with one hand while delivering blow after blow with the other.

    “What a loyal dog.” Les deadpanned as he sipped his milk.

    Usually, anyone would feel grateful, having a big handsome man protect your honor so violently. But I never claimed to be someone who needed protection. With a scowl, I climbed out of my seat and carried my tray to the trash bin.

    My appetite had been successfully ruined, to say the least. Thankfully everyone was too concerned with Wren’s display of dominance to notice as I slipped back out into the hallway.

    Eventually, someone would finally pull Wren off Chris, the latter would be such a bloody mess that the spectators would believe him dead. The former was unscathed for the most part he hadn’t given Chris enough room to defend himself. The incident hadn’t been a fight—more like it was a bloodbath.

    Chris would be home for a month and a half afterward, and Wren…well he received a different type of punishment.

    “Witnesses claim you provoked Chris Perdue to act violently. Given the staggering amount of testimonies you can see why we need to punish you as well.” Principal Baker sat behind his heavy desk a stern look on his face. His balding head matched with his extremely bushy brows led to many a nasty name for him. I’d seen his face too many times since starting school last year. “However I’m well aware that Chris and his friends like to target you. Elliot, I thought you’d agreed to not let what they say affect you. Why now of all days?”

    Wesley Baker our first meeting was seven years ago, he had no connections to me or my family and as far as he was concerned I was just some random brat on the street. Perhaps he blamed himself and that was why he was so much nicer to me.

    “I’ve told you before, you have permission to use my office for lunch. And the librarians willing to overlook it if you just clean up after yourself. Why do you insist on heading out there?”

    Because hiding was a coward move.

    “I know.” I stared down at my clenched fist in my lap.

    “I’ll be suspending you for three days. I’m making an exception this time but the next time something like this happens I’ll be forced to contact your parents. You can pick up your things and then head home.” I stood from my seat and started towards the door without looking at him. “And Elliot.”

    I was forced to glance back, he smiled his ignorant kindness grating on my nerves. “Get home safe.”

#

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth.” I snapped as soon as I registered that Wren was standing at the foot of the stairs waiting for me. “How long?”

    “A week of after school detention,” He smirked his signature apparently and motioned me to follow. “Come on I’ll buy you something to eat.”

    My stomach growled in response.

    “I’m not cheap you know.”

    “Yes yes, I’ve heard.” He waited for me to get to the passenger side of his car before climbing in. Following suit I dropped my bag at my feet and turned to him accusingly.

    “I don’t think I asked you to fly off the handle like that.”

    “I don’t like seeing my friends being treated like that. If I have the power to stop it I will.” Determination flashed in his gaze. He started the car up and pulled out from the parking lot, the radio blasted songs I didn’t recognize as he drove away.

    Stop what? He hadn’t stopped anything.

    Logically he’d just made my life a lot worse. Chris and his groupies would want revenge now, and other people would become bolder fueled by indignation. I’d dared say anything at all. Even if I hadn’t really said anything, or it wasn’t me who had fought back, most people had seen Wren around me. On top of that, the fact that he even stood up for me was enough reason for the blame to fall back onto me.

    A three-day suspension could be a blessing to anyone but me. Couldn’t blame Prncipl Baker though, he knew of the hell I lived in at school but he lived in the suburbs. He couldn’t know about my work or my mother or anything about me at all. I should just be grateful he hadn’t actually called my mother. If she was sober she’d show up and make a bigger mess of things, and if she wasn’t well…

    Pushing those thoughts aside I focused on the passing scenery. It’s weird, while I’m capable of traversing the streets blindfolded and in the dark completely on my own somehow the blurring buildings seemed to swallow my entire navigational sense. I could get lost pretty easily if I wasn’t careful.

    The more I stared out the window the heavier my eyelids got. Vaguely I could hear Wren humming along to the song on the radio, that and the lulling feeling of the car worked my tired bones into a sense of relaxation. My barely conscious mind tried to push to stay awake, I’d never fallen asleep with strangers around it was a survival reflex from all the times I had been in danger.

    Eventually, though, I found myself succumbing. Leaning my head against the glass I fell into a dreamless sleep.