Loving Him

Could This Be The Start Of Something?

Normally you wouldn’t enter the passenger side of a stranger’s car unless you were looking to get kidnapped and wind up in a ditch somewhere, but except for a little discomfort at first, I entered Wren’s car no problem. I had long since been accustomed to following strangers around so this was no different.

    Wren drove recklessly. On more than one occasion I gripped the seatbelt strapped tightly against me to keep from slamming into the door. It reminded me of the way Juliet would sometimes drive her Porsche like daddy had enough money to get her out of all her traffic tickets.

    As soon as he parked I jumped out and glared at him, “Were the cops chasing us?”

    “Sorry, it’s a habit.” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. Motioning behind me he offered me an awkward smile. “Food?”

    Swiveling around I stared up at the fast food place and my mouth watered. I hadn’t eaten since two days ago and a bowl of grapes doesn’t really count as a full course meal.

    Hoping along cheerfully I don’t wait for Wren to stand in line. He never mentioned a spending limit, so I take my time ordering all the best options on the menu. Before I’m done he pops up again and quickly added a medium soda.

    We don’t take a seat until all of our food comes out and by then I’m so hungry my stomach threatens to cramp.

    “I would have eaten at school but…” I glanced up at Wren a dissatisfied frown on my face. I was afraid he’d follow me around if I entered the cafeteria, either way most days the food served at school barely passed as edible. Not that I had much room for being picky.

    I don’t waste a second unwrapping my burger and digging in. The greasy meal slid down my throat with a bit of effort but I was hellbent on eating till my stomach actually cramped. After all I didn’t know when I’d get the opportunity to eat like this again. Any chance for free food is a good chance I always say at least.

    “Are you sure you can eat all that?” Wren looks skeptically from the table and then back to me.

    Clicking my tongue at him I shook my head, “Never question just how much I can eat. Especially when I’m hungry.”

    He didn’t say anything for a while afterward and just let me enjoy my food. I was halfway through my fries before he spoke again and I hoped he hadn’t.

    “That day…that guy…did you know him?”

    “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to,” I chided with a wave of my finger. “Also when did I say I was going to answer? Cheeky kid, I told you back at school my time ain't cheap.”

    He grumbled something beneath his breath but kept quiet for a moment.

    “You know I don’t make it a point of following strangers around,” especially on my days off. “I guess what I’m saying is I’m a slave to my desires. But this won’t work a second time, and I already told you I don’t—”

    “I know I told you I want to date you, and that hasn’t changed, but I’m patient enough to work towards that. For now I’d be satisfied if we could just be friends.” He sounded all posh and upright, with an underlying hint of predatory drive. Anyone else would have been scared, I can’t lie my hand started trembling a bit.

    Danger.

    No. Wren whoever he could be was not someone I should be messing with. That much was clear from the very first moment I laid eyes on him. His seemingly reckless endangerment of himself wasn’t as reckless as I first assumed. He was confident that no matter what he’d be able to protect himself.

    A part of me swelled with envy.

    “Sure,” I shrugged. “I could always use more friends I guess.”

    Not that I trusted him, not for one second. Especially not with that shady look on his face. Handsome or not I couldn’t let my guard down, no amount of food could sway me either.

    He smirked a half-smile. Devious at best.

    “You shouldn’t try so hard to pretend to be someone you’re not,” I told him taking another fry into my mouth. He raised a brow, feigning confusion. “You’re a pretty good liar so I’ll admit it took me a second to realize. But if you keep it up even I’ll get bored of you.”

    Trying to be nice, a polite gentleman. Everything from the way he stands to the way he walks and talks is all strategic. A way to get on my good side. On the surface, it seemed like a valid plan given that he was seeking to ‘woo’ me but I hate lies, more than I hate being wooed at least.

    “Just be yourself, whoever that might be. In my eyes, you’re less the perfect gentlemen than you seem to want to be.” I looked up at him from my plate of food. “You know what’s really weird is the fact that you were in southside territory in the first place. No matter how I look at it you were definitely raised somewhere on the east side.”

    “How perceptive,” He sounded intrigued. Leaning towards me he raised a brow. “What gave it away?”

    They say that no matter how hard it tries wolf will never run amongst the sheep, “I could just tell.”

    I mentioned it before, I have an eye for this type of thing. Picking people apart, realizing their true intentions, and pinpointing their weaknesses. It’s a necessary skill for my line of work.

    “Anyways, not that it matters, but my type definitely isn’t the guy you were pretending to be.” I felt the need to further reinforce my point. “So it was a lost cost from the beginning.”

    “Oh?” His smirk held strong, at any other time I might have thought it was a sexy display of confidence. However, I was too focused on filling my empty stomach. “Then what is your type?”

    I paused.

    Continuing with my meal I shook my head, “That’s privileged info. I would hate for you to try and change yourself to fit my taste. Honestly, no matter what you do I won’t change my mind. The truth is I just don’t have enough space for a lover in my life, I’m busy with work all the time.”

    Though if I just avoided going home then I wouldn’t be working as much. But I liked my bed too much to avoid it for to long, and if I wasn’t there then the guys around my mom liked to get a bit violent sometimes. I might have been skinny and mostly useless in a fight but I could still act as her shield if the need arose.

    What a doting son.

    “Hey, do you want to order more?” Wren asked just as I was finishing.

    If I ordered more I’d have to take it home with me. A risk I wasn’t willing to take. “I’ll accept the offer some other time.”

    “That means you’re accepting another date with me.”

    If I was anyone else maybe my face would have flushed. All flustered I would have offered some cute response and my heart would pound a mile a minute as I gazed at him nervously.

    “Yeah so what? Free food is free food. I told you my time aint cheap.” I huffed and stood. “I don’t have a phone so I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”

    Tossing out the trash I started to walk out only to be stopped by his hand grabbing my elbow. Glancing down at the point he was touching me I made an effort to take a deep breath before meeting his gaze.

    “Its getting pretty late. Let me give you a ride.”

    His concern seemed real enough. Ordinarily I would have accepted, at that point there was no reason not to. Additionally walking to my house would put a strain on my injured body.

    But…

    “No need. Your car is way to flashy, if people see me coming out it I might lose some cred.” Not that my reputation could get any worse. Truth be told if he drove up to my house in such a fancy vehicle he might be leaving without wheels. The kids on my street liked to work fast. “Besides I like walking. It’s good exercise. See ya’ later.”

    Waving his hand off I started out, as I walked I never once looked back.

#

If she knew I’d entered my mom made no acknowledgment of my presence.

    Sat on the couch surrounded by loose cans oof beer and homemade cupcakes Marie Weber seemed despondent. All her friends had left, her blonde hair was sprawled about her on the cushions like a halo of fallen grace. Her dark brown gaze trailed to me at the door and I remember my body going still.

    Her gaze was everything but motherly. She seemed to be asking me silently what it was I was doing on her doorstep. Why was I alive? Why did she have to even look at me? Couldn’t I just disappear?

    I didn’t spend too long staring back at her. Stepping past the living room I heard the familiar sound of breaking glass underfoot and glanced down. One of her regulars probably broke the bottle by accident. As usual, no one had cleaned it up.

    Scoffing I entered my room—my sanctuary—and discarded my heavy jacket onto the bed. My stomach protested as I laid back on my bed.

    My room had been decorated a long time ago before my mother completely began to implode. Dried out glow in the dark stars still dotted the ceiling. My mattress was old but spend enough time sleeping on pavement and even the rattiest things seem like luxuries. I didn’t have a desk anymore or the night lights and the walls were marred with cracks now but ever since that day seven years ago this room had been my safe space.

    It had a lock and key to keep all of mom's friends out—a splurge I’d saved up for weeks for. The window led straight into the back yard and since our fence was low it made for an easy getaway.

    Sliding off my bed I reached under the bed and pulled out my box. It was small, probably only a foot long and three inches wide, but it was my most sacred possession. Inside I hid so many secrets. Trinkets of mine that needed to be kept safe.

    As well as…

    “Only three-fifty.” I scoffed at my measly collection of bills. A while ago I decided to start saving up money, at the time I just wanted to be able to afford food on the days when I couldn’t eat at home or school. But as I stared at the box I found myself wondering if that was really the reason I started to save up money.

    Shoving the box back I turned to the door. Cursing under my breath I stepped back out into the living room.

    Mom hadn’t moved much. She must’ve eaten too many cupcakes given her sluggish movement as she turned her head to the ceiling.

    Beside the porch outside I was in charge of cleaning up most days. Our living room tended to be the center for all the gatherings or parties. The living room had an open floor with the kitchen which was small, to begin with. Past the living room was a hallway to my room, the bathroom, and then a landing of stairs which led down to my mother's bedroom.

    If I went to long without coming home then the messes just increased exponentially. Shoving the pain to the back of my back I reached under the kitchen sink for a dustpan. I’d stolen most of our cleaning supplies off of hotel maid carts which meant we had a lot to work with in terms of keeping things clean.

    Glancing at the couch I couldn’t help narrow my gaze. If she helped as much as she got high then maybe our house wouldn’t be crumbling.

    There was no point in thinking that. Waving the thought away I heaved a sigh and got to work. Even if it took till morning I had to get rid of all the stray pieces of glass from our hardwood floors. It wouldn’t be safe if mom ended up walking around barefoot again.

    “Ugh, and I just ate too.” Maybe stuffing my belly so much wasn’t the smartest idea. I’d read before that eating too much after such a long period of starving could lead to stomach problems. If I wasn’t careful I might puke up all the free food I’d just won.

    With a groan, I started to sweep.

    Unbeknownst to me across the street from our run-down house sat a familiar black-rimmed vehicle. Its driver had followed me from the fast food place apparently to ensure I made it home safe.

    Not that I even knew of their presence. I wouldn’t even know they ever spent that night following me around, not for a long long time.