Addicted

16

MAYRA'S POV

His hands felt so cold against mine but they still caused a warmth to spread through my heart, enough warmth to divert my mind from his cold behavior. His body stiffened at my touch but he didn't glance my way even once.

"Rehan, why do you always jump to conclusions?” I asked with a deep breath, here goes nothing.

He chuckled humorlessly and softly wriggled his wrist from my hold, I knew he would pull away eventually but it still hurt.

"Without even hearing my side or even thinking about the situation.” I whispered slowly, I had to approach this situation carefully, he isn't exactly the nicest.

He again said nothing, was he ignoring me? My fear and anticipation were replaced by embarrassment and shame. I couldn't decide if he says something rude would've hurt more or not.  Through my peripheral vision I realized he was clenching and unclenching his fists like he is battling from inside, did I sound disrespectful or is it possible he's mad at himself because he realized I'm right? No way, he would never think I'm right. Right?

Pressing my lips together I stood in front of him, locking my gaze with his. His eyes flickered the second they met mine, he shut them so quick I couldn't see what emotions they had displayed.

I sighed.

“Since the day I've met you, all I wanted is to help you to find peace. I don't know what's bothering you or hurting you but remember one thing Rehan there is no stronger power than inner peace and solitude. If you want it then you've to fight for it, fight with your inner demon to let go of whatever it is that keeps haunting you, so that peace can find its way in your heart, mind and soul. No one can ever help you if you don't help yourself Rehan. Nothing will be resolved by keeping your emotions to yourself, you have to let them go, forget about it for a while and just go with the flow. You want to sleep then fight for it, fight for the peace, sleep will eventually follow your tranquility." I said, I was scared, no doubt he'd take offense to my advice, probably saying I'm trying to control him and I don't know anything.

I sighed, I had so much more I wanted to say to him. My thoughts were jumbled just thinking about him, but maybe he is not ready to accept everything all at once, or maybe he won't accept them at all. Maybe time was what he wanted most.

He open his eyes and looked into mine. The way he silently stood there staring into my eyes I felt so exposed. As if he was looking into the depths of my soul. His eyes held no fear, no hesitation and no remorse. His eyes showed acceptance. His eyes showed peace.

“You want me to go with the flow?" He stated in a deep voice, but for some reason it sounded more like a question.

I nodded.

“WHY?" He questioned, gritting teeth and his eyes suddenly lost all traces of emotion. From ease to something unreadable, something scary...something resembling anger and pain.

Like every other time, my body stayed planted right where it was. I was surprised I didn't even flinch. It felt like my body wanted to be close to him, no matter how much my mind wanted me to run.

“Because you deserve to be happy and that can only happen when..." But before I could complete my sentence, my body collided against with a hard chest as he pulled me closer. His chest was hard, something so strong yet so comfortable.

I closed my eyes as his arms wrapped around my waist. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and without thinking twice I embraced him in my arms as he did to me. Our heart beats seemed to be in sync as his hold gets tighter than it was. My body felt as if it was being melded into his and the next thing I know, we were laying on the bed, wrapped up in each other not just by body but by our hearts to.

It felt like maybe I am one step closer to getting through his rough exterior. Maybe.

“Fine. I'll try going with the flow" He added with a deep breath and snuggled his head into my chest, maybe listening to my heartbeat which was beating at an alarming rate. Embarrassing.

I was even more shocked by his fingers tracing along my neck. But instead of feeling awkward this time my body shivered in content.

I wanted his time, I wanted his care, I wanted his touch, and I wanted his affection.

I wanted him.

And why wouldn't I after all I was falling more in love with him.

“Why does sleep come faster than usual in your arms?" He asked, sounding lost in thought.

I had the urge to look at him but I didn't want to move in case he took it as a sign to release me, especially when his hold was more comfortable than anything else.

“I don't know." I muttered and heard him yawning.

I smiled and started moving my fingers through his hairs, he was comfortable in my arms, comfortable enough to fall asleep.

“No. Tell me. I want to know why? Why I was unable to sleep earlier but as soon as I-

Never mind." He asked without completing his sentence.  My eyes started blinking several times. Should I push the topic? Or should I let it go?

Does that mean he started feeling sleepy when he had his arms wrapped around me? So he did feel comfortable in my arms then?

I smiled to myself. I don't know why I smiled. Mayra don't fool yourself by saying that you don't know the reason behind your smile. It was definitely because of his words.

“Barbie doll are y- holly s**t my virgin eyes." Someone's sudden voice dragged me from my thought and I found Vishal standing at the door with a smirk.

I flushed and tried to pull myself away from Rehan but instead he tightens his hold with a chuckle.

Huh?

"The least you two could do is to lock the door but I must say it was better than p**n, more child safe " Vishal said.

Biting my lips in embarrassment, blood starts rushing towards my cheeks as I tried to hide my embarrassed face.

“Go away Vishal. If you stay another minute in my room I swear you will not be able to watch p**n again in your life." Rehan muttered in a frustrated tone which only results into a low chuckle from Vishal.

"Your wish is my command bro.... but don't forget to use protection." He said again in a mocking tone, winking as he left.

My heart started thumping louder and all I could do was close my eyes and try to calm down my hammering heart.

Vishal.

As Vishal left, I inhaled deeply, how could I forget that Rehan was drunk, that's why he's being so nice. That's why he was this sweet, right?

I frowned as pain erupted in my heart, he probably won't remember any of this tomorrow.

“You said you'd stop drinking alcohol." I said in a disappointed tone and his body stiffens at my comment.

I bit my tongue, I didn't wanted to risk spoiling his easy going mood. He was nice to me once and I had to go and upset him. He said nothing and after a few minutes passed sound of his soft snores reached my ears. I smiled placing a kiss on his head.

Today I was one step closer to breaking down his walls. But will then Rehan still accept me in his life? He did just now but that's just because he was drunk. I clenched my fists tighter as my thoughts irked me. I was even more upset when I realized I was unable to answer that question.

I woke up to one of the best sight ever. Rehan sleeping next to me, his arms wrapped around me tightly and his face buried in my chest. My body over flowing with pride after hearing his calm breathing and feeling the calm rhythmic beating of his heart. My mind starts wondering how it would be if we were like normal married couples? It definitely would be normal for us to wake up in each other arms. Right?

But I am talking about Rehan Malhotra. There's something different about this man. He is not what he looks like. He's a dime wrapped in plain paper. He has another world running inside his mind, a world where only he exists, a world I was hoping I could become a part of.

“Morning." My body stiffens as I heard his strong morning voice. Thousands of butterflies erupted inside of me.

"G-Good M-Mor-ning." I shuttered. Stop shuttering Mayra. You're acting stupid.

“Sleep." He said in a deep voice and my jaw dropped in surprise.

It would definitely be 8 in the morning and he still wants to sleep, maybe this isn't Rehan and I was being drugged. What happened to that workaholic Rehan?

"Stop thinking too much." He added but this time with chuckle.

I nodded but suddenly he pulled me on to him resting me on his chest. I gripped the collar of his shirt for support and gasped in shock. He had his signature smirk plastered on his lips as his palm rested on my back. As our eyes met, a weird sensation sent tingles up my spine. His face looked absolutely flawless in the sunlight that kept peeking through window. There were no hint of negative emotions in his eyes. He looked absolutely breath taking, no clenched jaw. No frown. Nothing but a blank face with happy eyes.

"I just had one of the best sleeps ever" He whispered closing his eyes and his voice held nothing but aching, as if he was thinking about the things that keep him up. His face went complete blank.

I smiled a painful smile after witnessing his expression, unconsciously my fingers started caressing his cheek. As he felt my touch he opened his eyes looking into mine deeply. The intensity of our touch was something I've never experienced before. His eyes reflected pain and vulnerability, causing me to feel helpless as I couldn't do much to take his pain away. He's becoming my world and I can't even take his pain away. Pathetic.

I traced his frown with my finger and passed him a weak smile. After a few seconds, to my surprise a small forced smile was displayed on his lips.  I nodded disagreeing with his actions placing my fingers at the corner of his lips trying to twist them into big smile. His eyes sparked as he gave me one of his heart melting smiles.

My heart swells up with happiness and without much thought I placed my head on his chest. He embraced me tightly in his arms where I felt even happier. Our hearts moving at the same speed. No words were spoken between us but the silence was enough to let me know that this is not just a dream but maybe the starting of a new reality.

“I will try not to rely on alcohol and drugs from today, I swear I'll try" He said breaking the comfortable silence between us.

My breath got hitched and my face snapped to his but he had his eyes closed with a blank face. I frowned slightly for not being able to look into his eyes. He pulled me close to his chest again.

“If you are thinking about why I'm even saying this..... Mayra I remember everything from yesterday. I may have been drunk but not that drunk to forget about last night..." He added coldly without any emotion in his voice but it didn't bother me this time as his emotions were shown through his words.

I tried my best to suppress the smile that was trying to break through. His tone was harsh but what matters most were his words.

“Why have you been avoiding me for the last 2 weeks? I was worried. You were not even answering my calls or messages." I complained and he let out a chuckle. He's awfully playful today.

“If you want to start with these questions, why don't you tell me why you've stepped out of the house alone?" He asked me and fear started rising inside me.

What if he found out that I had met Max?

“I-I am sorry." I stammered.

“I was not avoiding you. I wanted some time alone, I needed to gather my thoughts." He muttered with a sigh.

I felt guilty after hearing him. He was being honest with me and he always refused to answer my questions and here I am hiding the fact that I've met Max. I wanted to tell him but what if he will get angry? I don't want him to go back with his cruel self. I don't think my heart could handle it.

“Now if you done with your talking. Can I sleep again?" He muttered and pulled into a bone crushing hug.

I smiled.

“And who will go to office?" I asked him teasingly and he shrugged his shoulders.

“You told me to go with the flow, that's what I'm doing." He added.

I bite my lips and a low giggle escaped my lips.

“Tell me something Mayra" He uttered out of the blue.

“What?" I asked confusingly, didn't he just say he wanted to sleep?

“Mayra what were you doing with Max, yesterday?"