Addicted

11

MAYRA'S POV

Pressing my fingers over my temple, I glanced over the clock for one last time which reads 5:23. It seems like time has frozen and so my mind too, due to lack of sleep. With a deep breath I shifted my eyes towards Rehan who was sleeping next to me with a strange expression. Don't know why but most of the time it feels good to look at him like he's all that matters? A low smile crossed my lips and I averted my thought again towards the clock which now reads 6:00 Am. Quickly I composed myself and tapped over his shoulder to wake him up.

"Rehan wake up." I said and the very next moment his eyelids started flickering.

After dragging my body to its initial position, I handheld him the glass full of water, which he took after leaning into bedpost.

"You're looking sleep deprived." His morning voice echoes inside my ear.

Seriously, it was so childish of him to think that he'll make me hate him by ordering me to stay awake whole night.

"Still smiling huh?" He asked in a cranky tone after gulping the water down in one go.

"Good morning." I greeted him by practically ignoring his words and in response his eyebrows get arched up.

"Really?" He asked again with a little smirk and I smiled.

"You are changing." Suddenly out of blue he pointed out in a serious tone.

My eyebrows knitted in confusion. I am changing? What that supposed to mean? I glanced over his face to read his expressions but all in vain.

"Me." He added.

"I don't get it." I said slowly, biting my lips and he just shrugged his shoulder.

"You don't have to get it." And then only I realized that he was back with his old cruel voice. That voice which sometimes do scare me.

I nodded my head like a puppet and started getting up from the bed but before that could happen, my arm gets pulled back and the next thing which I know, I was on Rehan's lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist. Everything froze and the only thing which seems to be audible was his breath.

His face became soft and an unknown shine started spreading over his eyes. My body instantly relaxed after watching this and a low smile tugs at the corner of my lips.

"Where are you going?" He said in a calm tone, placing my hair locks behind my ear.

"Wh-why?" I stammered under his touch and with a smirk he tightened his hold around my waist.

"I am not going away from you, even if you push me to do so." I added with a small smile.

"Let's go for jogging." He said his words, leaving me in the state of shock.

Is this Rehan or someone else? I blinked several times just to confirm that weather it's a dream or reality?

"Will you?" I asked.

"I don't like to repeat myself."

"But I don't think that you'll be able to go. You look exhausted."

Probably he doesn't know that however tired I will be, there is no way that I am going to let this opportunity go away.

After all who knows maybe this 'jogging' will start something?

"I am good. Let me just change my clothes." I said and in response he nodded his head.

When I grabbed my track suit, Rehan snatched it away from my hold, clearly indicating that he doesn't want me to wear it.

"I'll wear something else." I whispered, turning towards the closet.

"You know right, that you don't have to do all this." He said in a cranky tone.

"Say something." He yelled, harshly turning my shoulder towards himself.

With nervousness, I looked into his eyes which were burning in rage and from how much I know him, there might be some reason behind it.

Sometimes I try to figure out that reason but the walls he has around himself are hard to break from outside, they could only be broken when he'll let me in. I came back from my thought when I felt the pain rising on my shoulder under his tight grip.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Again he asked in the same tone, pulling me closer.

"Wh-what I am doing?" I asked in hesitation.

"You are changing me."

I had done nothing. Even I am still trying to figure out something to change him.

"It's hurting." I whispered somehow in a barely audible voice with tears finding their way.

"I want you to realize something." He said with a smirk and tightened his hold, even more.

"You are also hurting me like this." Confusion started clouding inside me.

I wanted him to say something further but instead he looked straight into my eyes.

"I've never felt like this-" He stopped his words in middle like he didn't want to tell me.

"Why it's getting difficult for me to behave the way, I used to be? What are you doing with me?"

I contracted my shoulder few times, just to ease the pain and then with a deep breath I took a step towards him and grabbed his arm.

"Do you want to know?" He gave me the look saying yes.

"Then just for today, just for few hours forget that who you are." I said with an assuring smile.

"I am not forcing you to do anything, it's all up to you." I added and with that I started walking away.

"Just for few hours." He said and I smiled.

I gulped down the water from the bottle and once again started running just to meet his pace. Rehan said nothing since we entered into park. He was running continuously past twenty minutes. He seems tired but still I don't know why he was forcing himself to do so?

"Rehan please wait." I yelled, trying to catch my breath and then only he turned around and came to me.

"What? Already exhausted? Have some stamina Mrs. Malhotra."

He ran his hand through his perfectly messy hair. Since when I started noticing such details? I licked my lips and averted my thoughts.

"You are behaving different." I don't know how those words slipped away and he let out a chuckle.

"Just for few hours." He pointed with a shrug.

I smiled.

"Can't you be like this, forever?" I asked hesitantly.

"You mean running away from who I am?"

"No, I mean running away from who you are to real you. I know you are not the cruel one, there is something more behind." I said in one breath.

"Don't test my patience Mayra, I will not be able to put this a so called 'happy act'. I am exactly what you've seen since the beginning. So drop the thought that you'll make me the way you want me to be, because that's never happening. Can't you see the fact that I am nothing but your worst nightmare?" He shouted, throwing the water bottle.

I flinched slightly but quickly composed myself. His words were like someone has splashed cold water over me. I stared at him and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards his car.

When we reached his house, he took me to his study room and threw glass bottles on the floor. Soon whole room filled with the sound of breaking glasses. My heart started racing in fear.

"Remove your shoes." He pointed his index finger at my shoes.

"What?" I asked confusingly but did as he said.

"You want to see that I am cruel or not?" I bite on my lips but before I could reply anything, he pushed me over the scattered pieces of glasses.

A deep burning and wounding sensation spread over my feet. I saw fresh blood oozing out. I squeezed my eyes shut and the pain became unbearable.

"Now, what do you think? I am what?" I searched his face in a slight hope that maybe it was all reflex action and he didn't meant to do so but his face held no emotions.

And for the first time I realized that maybe I was wrong since the beginning to thought I will be able to change him.

When he himself doesn't wants to change then what I can do? The wounds on my feet didn't hurt as much as looking at his face. How can he hurt me to simply prove his point? He really hates me this much, doesn't he?

"Go prepare breakfast, I am hungry." I nodded, trying to step aside from the glasses but my feet were numb.

"And one more thing tonight is a success party of my new project so you know right, we have to pretend that we are in love? Better be ready till nine." He added without looking at me but still his eyes were guilt free.

Will I ever be able to change him? Even this question sounds worthless now.