Alexandra's Dilemma

Chapter Two-1

Chapter Two

Reggie had a sweet looking young secretary, blonde, demure and very pretty. She kind of reminded me of myself a few years back. I found myself wondering if she played Reggie’s submissive s*x games the way that I had. I certainly wouldn’t be surprised to find him surrounded by hot looking, submissive women there to satisfy his curious lusts.

“An appointment with Mr. Harold,” I politely told the woman. “My name’s Alex.”

“Yes, he’s expecting you,” she said smiling.

I hadn’t called him personally three days before. I let the secretary arrange the meeting. It was easier than trying to explain my dilemma on the phone. I couldn’t believe how much I was trembling at the thought of seeing him after all this time, trembling more than I even did that first time, and far more than I had when I first met Keith. There was a quality about this meeting different from anything I’d ever experienced. It was s****l certainly, and submissive, and from my point of view extraordinarily humiliating.

Never say never. I was certainly eating my words now.

I’d vowed when I left Reggie never to return to him. I didn’t need him. At a very horrifying time in my life, going to Reggie was an awakening. He helped me understand the great cloud of fantasy and desire that so often occupied my mind. He made me feel accepted for the raunchy things I thought about. My submissive tendencies, all those kinky s****l thoughts were all right in Reggie’s world. And for a while, I was even smitten by the dashing dominant man.

But that changed. The ‘love affair’ we had fallen on its face. Rudely. In fact, I actually left under a guise of triumph. I bested Reggie Harold in his games; when it came to his playing in my world of love and intimacy, he came up strangely shallow. He couldn’t return the real affection and love that I had for him. For reasons I’m still not sure about, Reggie was oddly lacking in any real depth of feeling.

Returning to Will after that revelation became one wonderful reunion of body and soul. Too bad now, I never tried to integrate the ‘games’ I played with Reggie into my life with Will. I was certainly paying for it now.

“Mr. Harold will see you now,” the blonde announced. She rose from her chair and escorted me to the massive walnut double doors leading to Reggie’s office. It was plush in the outer office and I expected something even more elegant beyond the doors, I wasn’t disappointed. Opening the door, the secretary motioned me inside and my jaw practically dropped to the floor as I looked at the enormous walnut desk set against a backdrop of floor to ceiling windows looking out on the city. Everything about the office was first class. I wouldn’t expect otherwise, knowing how lovely his country estate was.

Reggie was not at his desk but at the far end of the room. I turned to see him coming from his private bath. He had the sleeves of his white starched shirt rolled up as if he had been working on something that required such informality. A lock of his usually well-groomed hair had fallen in his eye. His aristocratic jaw, aquiline nose and impeccable presence were as they had always been, enough to send my female juices flowing.

“Alexandra, how are you?” he said approaching me as he rolled down his sleeves, and buttoned his cuffs.

He grabbed me at the shoulders and drew me to him, giving me a kiss on the cheek, warmer than any affectionate gesture he’d ever bestowed on me.

How could I hate him when he sent my desires through the roof!

“You look terrific. Come in, sit down,” he said with an expansive gesture, motioning me to a chair in front of his desk.

“I’m well,” I replied. I was hardly great, wonderful, ‘happy as a lark’ well. I couldn’t lie.

I sat in front of him thinking it strange to see him in this venue when in the past we’d only been together at his estate. A few ventures out, but never here.

“The suit is quite suited to you, Alex,” Reggie noted. He was a connoisseur of style, had always been particularly concerned with how I dressed. In our former association, he’d often demanded certain attire which I sometimes resisted and always found challenging. Wearing the black suit today, I was totally comfortable in the short skirt and deep cut jacket. The lavender lace teddy under the top was meant to provoke a man’s reaction, and dressing this way had really become second nature for me. The truth was, I knew I’d chosen this particular outfit for a little confidence booster; I knew I looked terrific in it. If I hadn’t had my whole life hanging in the balance, I would certainly have enjoyed Reggie’s positive response more.

“So, to what do I owe this visit?” Reggie asked.

He looked perfectly ignorant of any knowledge of my crimes, perhaps, Will hadn’t talked to him; a circumstance I greeted with displeasure. Will really didn’t expect me to do this, which made the likelihood of a reconciliation seem even more remote.

“I need a favor,” I said. This was hardly the way to begin, but I wasn’t sure how else to start.

A favor?” he raised his eyebrows.

I took a deep breath, tried to start and stopped. I wanted to stop the tears that were forming in my eyes.

“You’re very agitated, my love, is there something wrong?”

“Will left me. We broke up,” I said. I could hardly say it without crying.

“Oh, really, I find that rather difficult to believe, I think of you two as the perfect couple.” He might have mocked me with this statement, but he was perfectly sincere.

“That is, unless I can prevent it.”

“Maybe you should be more explicit,” Reggie proposed.

I smiled, chagrined. “I am being kind of vague, aren’t I?”

He smiled in return, waiting patiently for me to gather my wits about me.

“I had an affair of sorts. Will found out, and he’s totally unwilling to remain with me. He feels as though I’ve completely destroyed his trust, and I’m completely desperate to make amends.”

“An affair? That surprises me. You always impressed me as someone impeccably honest.”

“And I usually am,” I agreed.

“So, if you had reason for an affair, perhaps you really don’t want this relationship with Will?” That sounded reasonable, but it wasn’t true.

“It’s not like that. This wasn’t an affair of the heart. I have no emotional attachment to the other man. I was searching for something.”

“Searching?”

I couldn’t believe what I was saying, but now that I’d started I couldn’t very well stop.

“I contacted an on-line Dom.”

Reggie looked at me shocked. “Whatever for?” It seemed as incredulous to me as it obviously seemed to him.

“I contacted a man who spanks submissive women.”

“Spanks? As in ‘over the knee bare-bottomed paddlings’?”

“Yes. Exactly. There’s quite a little sub-culture of spanking aficionados, and there’s a lot of meetings arranged for the sole purpose of playing out the fantasy.” I didn’t think I should need to explain this, but given the blank nonplused expression on Reggie’s face, I thought I needed to clarify.

“You don’t have to school me in this. I’m aware of the fetish. What surprises me is that you’d feel the need to seek that kind of adventure outside your relationship.”

“It’s kind of strange, isn’t it?” I admitted, embarrassed to say it.

“You mean to tell me that all the fun we at the estate uncovering your myriad of desires was for nothing? You and Will went happily along ignoring the obvious wealth of s****l variety that you love so much?”

“It’s not that bad, but we don’t really get into dominance and submission. And I’m not sure why. But now, what is it? Three years down the road, whatever it’s been, we’re at this horrible impasse.”

“Enough for you to seek an outside master.”

“He was hardly a master, and this isn’t about mastery, exactly. I think it’s a little softer than what you and I got involved with.”

“Perhaps,” he said. He was looking at me now, much as he had years before on that very fateful day when Will first brought me to him. His eyes had a way of inspecting me, as if he could read every thought I had, could see pictures of all my desires clearly written in the expression on my face. He always made me shiver when he did this, and I was shivering now.

“So, what is this favor?” Reggie said, as he assumed a colder visage, and a haughtier tone of voice. I expected as much, but it was what I would have to endure.

“Before he left, Will told me that the only penance I could pay was with you. He knows how I don’t want to have anything to do with you again. And I guess he sees my return to you as a gift I could give him that might, in time, prove myself again, and in some measure restore his trust.”

“How intriguing. I didn’t realize that you abhor me so much.”

“I don’t think it’s abhor you exactly, in fact, I don’t abhor you at all, I just had enough of our games.” I nervously fidgeted with my hands

“And so he said you could pay for your offenses by coming to me?”

“He didn’t exactly say that in so many words. It was the only thing he suggested that might have the remotest chance of changing his mind.”

“Makes me judge, jury and…implementer?”

“I guess it does.”

“And you don’t even know whether it will bring the two of you back together?”

“No, I don’t. But I’ll do anything to set things straight with him.”

“Seems Alex, that this was the point when you first came to me. I would help you bring out your desires and accept them, then Will could profit from the treatment. You’re telling me that my methods didn’t really work?”

“They worked, I just got scared again.”

Reggie leaned back in his chair and eyed me carefully. “So I just spank your bottom, rather ruthlessly I assume, and send you back to Will, and all’s well?”

“No, I doubt it’ll be that easy. I have to prove something to him. And I imagine in the process of all this, I need to find a way to bring him back into the picture, where he really belongs.”

“Quite a favor you’re asking.”

“I know that.”

“So why would I want to do it? What’s in it for me?” His smirk was deliciously devious, as if he already knew the answer and just had to watch me squirm while I spelled it out for him.

“It would be your revenge,” I said. “I left haughty and disdainful of your inadequacy, I return humbled. You can gloat over my inadequacies this time.”

Reggie smiled, though not at all nastily. That would certainly come later. “You do need to be punished,” he said.

“Yes.”

“Like the spoiled little b***h princess that you are, is that right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“If I do this, you know I won’t be easy on you?”

“I understand that.”

“You’ll have to curb that nasty tongue of yours and submit. You think you can do that? It would appear you’ve had three years practicing how to rip off a man’s balls.”

“Reggie, you’re being cruel.”

“I’m being honest.”

“I’ll do whatever I need to do, Reggie, I’m desperate.”

“I hope the end result will be worth your trouble, Alex. Will may not care what you do. And you know damned well I’ll demand things of you you’ll find hard to endure.”

“I wouldn’t expect less. If this is going to work at all, if this is penance I’m paying, Will would demand something very thorough.”

Reggie nodded. “So will you tell him?” Reggie asked.

“I suppose you should. He doesn’t even want to talk to me.”

“Chicken’s way out,” he mused.

“So will you do this for me?” I asked directly.

He pursed his lips, tapped his fingers together while I waited for an answer. “Perhaps,” was all he said.

I hated the way he was making me sweat.

“You can tell me no more than that?” I asked.

“Maybe I need to test you, see how sincere you are.” He delighted in stringing me along. I’m sure there were some very nasty thoughts galloping through his brain. I had a feeling I’d feel the effects very shortly.

Reggie stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, and leaned back against it, looking directly at me with a stare I remember well. Held transfixed by his stunning manner, I sat there wondering what he was thinking. With his arms crossed in front of him, I know he was considering the next move.

“Alexandra, there’s a leather paddle in the cabinet against that far wall,” he nodded to the enormous credenza behind me. “Go get it.”

I felt awkward getting up, the way he just stared at me. I managed to make it to the cabinet, finding inside the paddle he wanted hanging conveniently on a hook. It had been a long time since leather had connected with my posterior, and feeling the implement was a perfectly delicious experience. I imagined that this paddle would hurt like hell, though I’d never had anything quite like this applied to my backside. Reggie’s punishments in the past had always been of a different nature, applied with an inventive twist, no two alike. What I was asking for, and what I was apparently getting would be more common and ritualized, like the punishment I’d experienced over Keith’s lap. At least that’s what I thought.