The Long Lost Luna

Chapter 4 - New Home

ZAIYREE

Alpha Ezra didn’t turn to look at me. He stood there frozen in place, as if his feet were glued to the floor. I could feel the tension building in the room and the silence dragged on. He was considering how to respond, but I didn’t understand what was taking him so long to answer. It was a simple yes or no question. It didn’t need time to think about.

Amara looked back and forth at Alpha Ezra and myself, and she shifted in place uncomfortably. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she waited for Alpha Ezra to respond.

“Didn’t your wolf tell you that?” he finally said.

It was my turn to hesitate to speak. What would he think if he knew the truth about my wolf? I wouldn’t be able to hide it from them forever, and if this was enough for him to reject me, I wanted to know now. Keeping my eye contact strong, I said, “My wolf hasn’t spoken to me in years.”

Alpha Ezra huffed in response, and his body seemed to tense even more, and I wasn’t sure how that was even possible. The longer he took to respond to my question, the more queasy my stomach felt. I didn’t understand why my question was so difficult to answer, unless I was his mate, and he didn’t want me to be. That thought made me want to throw up.

Finally, he said, “Yes.” Then he walked out of the room, refusing to look at me.

Amara hung back for a moment and smiled at me apologetically. “He’s normally not this rude. I swear.”

I bit my lip and looked down. I knew her words were meant to be comforting, but they only made me feel worse. If he wasn’t normally that rude, there was no reason for him to be rude to me, especially if I was his mate. I was convinced he was going to reject me.

“I’ll let you get some rest for now, but if you need anything, there is a phone next to your bed. Just dial 1 and it’ll call the pack house. Unfortunately, we only have land lines here.” Amara hovered at the doorway, and I could tell part of her didn’t want to leave.

I gave her a smile, even though it felt forced. “Thanks.” Even if Alpha Ezra didn’t like me, I appreciated that his sister was nice to me at least.

***

I spent more time sleeping than I had expected to. The next week I didn’t leave my bed, and time often felt like a blur. Amara was the only visitor I had. Every time the door opened, my heart raced, hoping it was Alpha Ezra, but it never was. Either he was avoiding me, or he thought I wasn’t worth the time to come visit. His lack of visits told me everything I needed to know about what he thought of us being mates.

The next time Amara came to visit, she entered the room with a bright smile on her face. She hummed as she flitted about the room, preparing for my daily check-up.

“Did something good happen?” I asked, watching her closely. I wondered what it would be like to be that happy. I wasn’t sure if I had ever been that happy. Memories of my childhood before I was taken as a slave felt like distant dreams now. I remembered a big river and fetching water with a big pail. I remembered helping my mother out in her garden. I remembered my parents smiling and laughing, but I couldn’t remember being happy myself.

“Not particularly. It’s just a gorgeous day today, and I woke up in a good mood.” She had a lingering smile gracing her lips as she checked my heartbeat and tested my movements.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve been cooped up here.” I pulled my feet up and hugged them into my chest. I was finally starting to feel better, and it made me sick of this tiny room. I had been locked up in a small room for most of my time as a slave, unless there was a chore being demanded of me. I didn’t want to be locked up a moment longer.

Amara made a few notes on her clipboard. “Good news then. It seems you are healthy enough to start moving around. In fact, I would recommend daily walks. You’ve lost a lot of muscle due to your circumstances, and it’s going to take time for you to get your strength back.”

She sucked on her bottom lip, and I could tell there was more she wanted to say. She probably wanted to ask questions about what exactly I had been through, but she was holding her tongue. The first few days I was here, she had tried to ask me a little about what I had been through, but I found myself shutting down every time. I couldn’t bring myself to recount the horrors I had seen, especially to someone I barely knew.

Amara could only guess some of what I had been through based on the scars on my body. I was sure if I told her about my history, it would help her help me, but my throat closed up when I even thought about saying any of it out loud.

“I can give you a tour of the town. It’s quite beautiful. I can even introduce you to a few of the residents if you want.” She pulled out a pair of clothes from a drawer and handed them to me. “You can change into these. Hopefully they are your size. I’ll wait outside for you.”

I held the clothes in my hand for a moment, feeling the softness of the material. Amara had given me a deep purple sweater paired with a pair of black leggings. The material was soft between my fingers, and it was nicer than any clothes I had owned in a long time.

I slowly got out of bed, and my entire body ached. My wounds healed fairly quickly, but there was a deeper exhaustion settled deep in my bones, and part of me wondered if it was something that would ever go away. I had learned how to live with that exhaustion for years now. It was like a parasite hooked on my lifeline.

I pulled on my clothes, and the shirt was too big for my body, but I didn’t mind it. It felt safe, since it hid my broken and bony body. The pants fit nicely, and I felt like a new person in a pair of fresh clothes. I ran a brush through my hair, taking extra time on the back of my head, where my hair had knotted from lying in bed for too long. When I felt presentable enough, I left the room.

Outside of my room was a small lobby area. It was bright from the soft yellow on the walls. There were several places where people could sit while waiting for their turn to be treated. The room was completely empty, except for Amara and myself. There were several other rooms that branched off from the lobby, and it looked like there were several patient rooms available if needed.

“Thankfully, we rarely need to use those rooms, especially more than one,” Amara said, watching as my eyes wandered around the room.

“When do you have to use them?” I wondered how this place was so peaceful with how hateful the humans were.

“Sometimes the kids scrape themselves up with rough housing, or someone falls and breaks something. Ninety-five percent of the time it’s just something silly.” She was still smiling as she talked about the people she took care of.

“And what about the other five percent?” I asked.

Amara’s smile wavered. “There are patrols that keep an eye on our borders to make sure we stay safe. Sometimes they run into trouble.” She reached for my hand, but then she pulled back at the last moment.

I still flinched when she touched me, and she knew that. I was getting more used to her presence, but my body still reacted automatically.

“Will we see Alpha Ezra on the tour?” I did my best to hide the hope in my voice. Even though I had a sinking feeling that he was thinking about rejecting me as his mate, the idea of seeing him still excited me. I knew it was the mate bond driving my emotions, because I hadn’t even had a proper conversation with the alpha. There was no reason to be excited about seeing him.

“No. He went out on business,” Amara said.

My chest felt like it was collapsing, but I stood tall, so on the outside, it didn’t look like anything was different. “Is that why he hasn't been around?” I didn’t want the disappointment to come through my voice, but Amara’s facial expression told me that I wasn't successful.

“Not exactly.” She seemed hesitant as she spoke. “He left on the trip a few days ago. He’s just been busy recently.”

“He doesn’t want to see me, does he?” I wanted to know the truth, because if Alpha Ezra was preparing to reject me as his mate, I wanted to know ahead of time. I didn’t want to waste my time or energy hoping for something that would never happen. I could take the rejection. As long as I could stay here with the other werewolves where it was safe, I didn’t need Alpha Ezra to want me. These days, I would pick safety over happiness, no matter how much my heart hurts.

A sharp pain ran through my chest at the thought, but I just pushed past it. I had lived with the pain of losing everyone I loved, so losing a mate I didn’t even know wouldn’t kill me. Going back to the humans as a slave would kill anything that was left of me.

“It’s not that exactly,” Amara said, choosing her words carefully. “It’s just complicated. He wasn’t expecting to find his mate. Ever. Most werewolves here have accepted they won’t find their mates. He’s just…adjusting.”

I nodded slowly, but I decided I didn’t want to push the subject anymore. If I was going to have this conversation, I decided I wanted to hear the words directly from Alpha Ezra himself.

“Shall we get going?” I suggested.

Amara smiled and opened the door for me. “Right this way.”

I followed her out of the building, and I was shocked at the sight. There were flowers blooming on the sides of the streets. People walked around with baskets in their arms, greeting one another by their names and smiles. It felt like the town was a lost dream, and I didn’t feel like I belonged here. My life was part of a nightmare.

Amara took it slowly as she showed me around the town, and the more I saw, the more this place felt unreal. It was absolutely incredible how everyone worked together to make sure there was food, water, and shelter for the pack. It made me want to smile, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so, not until everything felt real.

We spent a good half hour walking around, and by the end of it, I was exhausted mentally and physically.

“How are you doing?” Amara asked.

“I’m tired,” I admitted.

“Then let’s show you your new home,” Amara said with a bright smile. She was excited, but it only made me more nervous.

I still wasn't convinced this was my new home. Alpha Ezra had been avoiding me, and he didn’t look happy to see me. If he decided I wasn’t worthy of being his mate, he could kick me out of the pack at any moment. Until I knew he wouldn’t do such a thing, I wouldn’t call any place a home.

Amara led me through the village until we arrived at a house that was larger than the rest I had seen. She approached the door and looked back at me with a smile. “This is our pack house. It’s not very big, but it has several rooms in it. Ezra, myself, and Rhett–Ezra’s beta, and my husband live here. There’s extra room, and I want you to stay here with us until you’re fully recovered.”

I paused at the threshold, afraid to enter. “Alpha Ezra lives here?” I wasn’t sure if I could live with someone who hated me. I would have been better off on my own.

Amara grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door. “Yes, and don’t worry about it. I’m your doctor, and I say part of your treatment is to live with me. Whether or not Ezra likes it doesn’t matter.”

“Is that so?” Ezra’s deep voice came from deeper in the building, and he didn’t sound happy.