Unintentionally Yours

CHAPTER 7

Caught in the moment, not even thinkin' twice

Everything's frozen, nothing but you and I

I knotted my shoelaces into a two-loop shoelace knot securing my laces so that if I run, it won’t unravel. I put my mp3 player on my running armband and connected it via Bluetooth in my earphone to listen to my favorite band, Why Don’t We. I am currently listening to their song, Fallin’.

Can't stop my heart from beating, why do I love this feeling?

Make me a promise, tell me you'll stay with me

I woke up earlier than my usual time of waking up. I’m going for an hour to jog around our neighborhood. It’s been a while since I run around the neighborhood.

If I'm bein' honest, I don't know where this leads

But that's the only question, baby, don't keep me guessin'

I just want to have a little peace and clear up my mind. It is nice to jog around our neighborhood; there is a lot of huge trees and sheds producing fresh air giving me a relaxing feeling as I roam around our subdivision.

After an hour of brisk walking and jogging, I decided to go straight home. As I was close to my house, I have to walk past a mini-park, I saw a dog running in my direction and leans on my legs with a dynamic panting. It is an American Staffordshire Terrier. I reach out to its broad head and gently pat its head causing the Terrier to lick my hands. I can’t help but smile at its friendliness.

“Sorry, Miss Pressy is a little excited and energetic today”

Napalingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Napadako ang tingin ko sa matangkad na lalaking humihingal nang bahagya at may hawak na dog leash, mukhang hinabol niya ang asong ngayo’y nasa mga kamay ko. He stands back as he caught up with his breath. He’s tall and good-looking, it was Kaiden, the confectioner at the Iceberg Acme Blvd. where I and Ruth bought some ice cream last time. Also, the one I kinda-flirted trying to make Haunth jealous.

“It is fine. Is she your dog?” I asked as I stand back.

“Yeah,” he agreed as he’s trying to pull Miss Pressy.

“I’m Shannel, remember me?” I ask and reach out my hand for a handshake.

“Kaiden. Yeah, I remember you,” he said and smiled lightly.

Miss Pressy doesn’t want to move and just keeps on leaning on me. I reach out my hand to Kaiden and ask for the leash and hooked it to her collar and walked her into the mini-park.

“Pasensya na talaga. Ang hyper niya ngayon. P’wede mo naman siya ipaupo nalang doon sa bench and uwi kana,” he said while scratching his cheeks.

“Okay lang. Wala naman akong gagawin ngayon,” sabi ko sa kaniya at nginitian siya ng bahagya.

Inaya ko siya na maupo r’on sa isang bench na nakasilong sa ilalim ng isang malaking puno. Nagsisimula nang lumiwanag at may ilan-ilan naring mga pet owners ang naglalakad-lakad sa maliit na parkeng nasa subdivision namin.

“S’ya nga pala, dito ka rin nakatira?” tanong ko rito nang mapansin siya dahil mga taga-subdivision lang naman namin ang nakakapunta ng mini park dito sa loob.

“Ay, hindi. Pumunta kasi ako sa bahay ng tita ko at nautusan akong ilakad-lakad itong makulit na asong ‘to,” sabi niya at bahagyang hinimas ang ulo ni Miss Pressy.

“Oo nga pala, sorry n’ong nakaraan ah”

“Para saan?”

“Iyong kinukulit kita”

“Ahh. Okay lang” patango-tango niyang sabi

“Pinagseselos mo ba ‘yong dalawa?” pahabol na tanong niya.

“Dalawa? Hindi ‘yong isa lang” paglilinaw ko na ikinalingon niya sakin at pinanliitan ako ng mata nang bahagya.

“You sure?”

“Oo?” napatawa naman ako. Bakit naman niya iaassume na pati si Sett pagseselosin ko?

Sa lahat ng mga nakadate ni Sett, malayong-malayo ako sa mga type niyang babae na sobrang matatangkad at balingkinitan na pang-model ang datingan.

“Iyong lalaking mas mapayat sa kanilang dalawa iyong pinagseselos ko” 

“’yong maamo pero nakakaintimidate na lalaki,” pahabol ko pa.

“Hmm. Medyo nakakaintimidate nga siya. Ang seryoso kasi nang aura niya”

“Diba? Hay nako, kung alam mo lang, tatlong taon ko nang nililigawan ‘yon”

“Ikaw nangliligaw sa kaniya? Tatlong taon?”

“Oo,” mahina kong sabi.

Kapag naiisip ko ‘yong thought na ako ang nangliligaw, ‘di ko maiwasang panghinaan ng loob dahil sa loob ba naman ng tatlong taon eh kahit minsan hindi siya nagsabi na wala akong pag-asa.

“You can share it with me, I won’t judge you,” he said smiling and points out Miss Pressy who’s now on my lap silently sleeping.

I once again caress Miss Pressy and stare in its peaceful sleep.

“What would you do if ikaw ang nasa posisyon ni Haunth?”

“Haunth ang pangalan niya?” tanong niya at tinanguan ko lang ito.

“Nasaang posisyon ba s’ya ngayon?” curious na tanong niya.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” tapat kong sagot.

“I mean, anong gagawin mo kapag mayroong babaeng nanligaw sayo?” tanong ko ulit sa kaniya.

Napahinga naman siya ng malalim at napaisip.

“Well, that’s different but there is nothing wrong with that. Lalo na kasi may mga lalaking torpe. When it comes to Haunth, if ganoon na katagal, maybe ask him nalang?”

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at tinignan nalang si Miss Pressy na ngayon ay nagkakamot ng ulo niya.

“I mean, I know it is not easy but you’ll just imprison yourself from wondering for years if you have a chance for him. If ipagpapatuloy mo and somehow you don’t know if may chance ka, para mo naring pinipigilan iyang sarili mong sumaya. Iyong kakayahan mo na makahanap pa ng taong talagang magpapahalaga at magbibigay ng effort maparamdam lang sa ‘yo kung ga’ano ka niya kamahal”

I look at the guy that I just met last time wearing his forced smile, now giving me advice with his serious look.

“But… gaya nga ng sabi mo, may mga lalaking torpe. What if he’s just confused?”

“Confused? For three years?”

Pakiramdam ko gumuho ang mundo ko sa narinig ko mula sa kaniya. It just slapped me in his face. Showing me how desperate I might be.

“I mean, it’s just what I see. The best thing to do is just ask him straight. But you know what, maybe he’s enjoying it?”

“Enjoy what?”

“Na nililigawan siya? I don’t know” sabi niya at sumandal sa bench.

Napatayo naman si Miss Pressy at tumakbo nang bahagya at para bang inaaya niya kami na maglakad. Nagkatinginan naman kami ni Kaiden at napatayo narin kami para sundan si Miss Pressy. Iwinawagayway nito ang buntot niya at panay ang pag-pant na nangangahulugang excited ito sa kung ano man.

Naglakad lang kami ni Kaiden at sinusundan lang kung saan pupunta si Miss Pressy nang may napadaan sa harap nitong maliit na bola at naghudyat kay Miss Pressy na habulin ito.

Ako ang may hawak ng dog leash ni Miss Pressy kaya naman napatakbo rin ako gawa nang paghatak sa akin nito at maisiguro ko na hindi mawawala ito. Labis ang pagtakbo ni Miss Pressy para makuha ang bola at napapagod narin ako dahil sa pagtakbo ko kaninang umaga. Inilingon ko saglit si Kaiden at hinahabol niya rin kami nang bigla akong makaramdam ng matigas na bagay na bumangga sa kaliwang balikat ko dahilan para mawalan ako ng balanse at madapa sa lupa.

“Aray!” sigaw ko nang maramdaman kong nagasgas ang binti ko mula sa nakausling pako sa may isang poste sa mini park.

Napahinto naman si Miss Pressy at ganoon din si Kaiden. Dali-dali siyang lumapit at tinanong kung okay lang ba ako.

“Okay ka lang ba?” tanong niya at tinignan ang binti ko na may tatlong pulgadang sugat.

Itinaas ko ang aking leggings hanggang sa aking tuhod para hindi kumalat ang dugo sa damit ko.

“Marami ng dugo. Kaya mo ba tumayo?” nag-aalalang tanong niya.

“Kaya naman ata,” sabi ko at sinubukang tumayo ngunit agad din akong napaupo dahil sa biglang pagsakit ng ankle ko.

“Oh god, look, Missy. Look what have you done” Kaiden said as he was answered by Miss Pressy with a whimper. I pat Miss Pressy’s head and said that’s it’s okay.

“Here, take my hand,” Kaiden said and offered his hand. I gladly took his hand as a support so that I can stand up.

A slight groan comes out of my mind as I felt a slight pain in my ankle. He turned his back on me and bend his knees in an almost ski-like position.

“What?” I asked as he looks at me.

“Hop on,” he said while patting his back.

“What?! No, I am fine!”

“You are not. Come on, I feel bad. You hurt yourself because of my dog,” he said.

A whimper comes out again out of Miss Pressy. I smiled at the dog’s guilt. She probably feels bad. She leans on my leg and licks my hand.

I sighed and jump a little closer to Kaiden as I raise my leg for him to grab and lightly jump onto his back. I grab the dog leash so that Miss Pressy can walk with us.

“Where is your nearest hospital?”

“Oh no, the hospital is too far away. Just take me home” I said and he looked at me with his eyebrows knitted.

“Take you home?” he laughs and so do I as I realize what I said.

“Gosh, I mean my home,” I said as a laugh escapes from my lips.

“So, what school do you go to?” I asked as the walk got a little quiet.

“Crimton High School”

“Mabigat ba ‘ko?” tanong ko sa kaniya

“Huh? Ba’t mo natanong? Hindi naman”

“Wala lang”

Naalala ko lang kung paano ako nakapunta sa clinic noong natamaan ako ng bola. Its definitely not Ruth, right?

Nag-usap lang kami ni Kaiden papunta sa bahay ko. Malapit na kami sa bahay nang mamataan ko si Mommy sa tapat ng bahay namin.

“Mom!” tawag ko kay mommy na nagdidilig ng mga halaman niya sa gilid ng gate namin.

“Anak? Anong nangyari?” tanong niya at lumapit sa amin ni Kaiden.

“Good morning po” bati ni Kaiden kay mommy nang makalapit kami sa bahay.

“Good morning, hijo.” bati ni mommy kay Kaiden at tinignan ako na parang nagtataka kaya naman tinuro ko iyong paa ko dahilan para mag-panic siya.

“Anak!!! Anong nangyari?!” sabi niya at tinawag si Mang Eduardo para kumuha ng wheelchair.

“Bakit may wheelchair tayo sa bahay?” tanong ko

“’di ko rin alan nakita ko lang n’ong nakaraan sa basement” sabi ni mommy.

“Hijo, pasensya kana kung mabigat ang anak ko ha,” paghingi niya ng sorry kay Kaiden.

“Ay nako, hindi po. Ako po dapat ang humingi ng sorry dahil po sakin kaya nasaktan po si Shannel” nilingon ni Kaiden si Miss Pressy at in-explain kay mommy ang nangyari.

“It's okay. No one wants that to happen”

Nanghingi pa ng ilang sorry si Kaiden at nagpaalam narin sa amin kasama si Miss Pressy. Nilingon naman ako ni mommy matapos niya isarado iyong gate at itulak ang wheelchair na inuupuan ko.

“So…” dahan-dahang sabi ni mommy.

“He’s not,” sabi ko at pinangunahan ko na si mommy dahil alam kong tatanungin niya ako kung boyfriend ko ba ‘yon.

“He’s not your what?”

“My boyfriend”

“That’s not what I’m going to ask,” she said and laugh.

“Hindi? Then what?”

“I’m just going to ask if he was Ruth’s boyfriend. You definitely don’t have a boyfriend” she said and tumawa nang pagkalakas-lakas.

“Mommy!! Grabe ka sakin” sabi ko at inirapan siya nang pabiro.

“Just kidding, honey”

Ikinwento ko kay mommy ang nangyari para matahimik na siya.

Inakay ako ni Manong Eduardo sa kwarto ko at dahan-dahan na akong pumasok at naupo sa kama ko.

I went to my bathroom and turn on its two faucets releasing cold and hot water making me a warm bath. I unbutton my robe and slowly lay my body to the water’s warm hug around my naked body, relaxing my muscles. I lifted my injured leg and lean it on the side of the bathtub. I released a sigh and try to relax.

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. My mind can’t stop itself from thinking too much. And now, I am injured and can’t help but think about what Kaiden said earlier at the mini-park. I mean, he’s not wrong. Although I consider the past years pursuing Haunth worth it, if I have a chance, he shouldn’t have let me pursue him for years. He’s just letting me be confused. I just can’t understand him.