Acting Out

Chapter 3-1

Chapter 3

Alex had taken the empty cups into the kitchen. If the intention were to give Nick time to digest this new and startling information then he’d chosen right. Nick didn’t know whether to laugh in delight over the thought of King wanting them for his first major production or fall to his knees on the floor, wail and beat his fists upon it. The too-good-to-miss opportunity was looking better by the second. He just wished it wasn’t.

“Is Alana certain? About the other actors?”

“As certain as she can be.”

Alex could have been replying to any of the dozen questions circulating in Nick’s mind. Was Alana certain the studio wanted the two of them so much they could negotiate? Was she certain King was moving into producing? Did he have the finances? Rumours of that ilk over his last film had turned out to be so much hot air. Alex seemed convinced.

“You’ve got to keep quiet about this.”

“Of course,” Nick replied absently.

The names Alex had mentioned were…impossible. No, surely they wouldn’t consider the roles? One of them often played hard men, butch, Mafia types. Nick couldn’t picture him taking Alex’s role. He tried to imagine another actor in the role Nick wanted, and couldn’t envision that either. The hero was troubled, imperfect. The physical and emotional pain he had to overcome was almost too much for any man to bear. He also fought selfish motivations. In short, the lead was very human and everything that most decent people saw as potentially great in the human race. In the end, his very human heart carried him through. Even then, if it hadn’t been for his best friend…

Nick swallowed. There was no usual love interest, just these two men and their friendship. Two men who had grown up together, seen each other through times of hardship, war, and bereavement. They were more than brothers to each other and more than brothers in arms. These men understood one another. They…loved each other. If that was all that the acting needed to portray, he could have handled the scenes. Unfortunately, their love turned physical—extremely physical. Casting the wrong actors in the roles would make a mockery of the underlying meaning of the film.

He and Alex…Nick’s gaze shifted sideways as he let the idea of him and Alex—and s*x—seep into his mind. Apprehension knotted his stomach even as exultation lit up his thoughts. Dare he even consider…?

As if he knew what Nick was thinking, Alex asked, “If you were casting the roles, who would you choose?”

“Maybe…” Nick paused, dismissing the name that sprang to mind. “Damn!” Nick shook his head while staring at the floor, aware of a little too much wild movement in his denial.

“Now do you see? We’re perfect, and you know it.”

Nick lifted his head while trying to avoid Alex’s stare. He’d always known that parts might come his way that he wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable with; never had he considered turning them down for less than practical reasons.

Was he doing himself a disservice? He might be. He was definitely letting Alex down, and he hated that. Setting his nerves aside, part of him underwent a strange feeling of excitement and…daring he’d not experienced since he was a teenager going places and getting in trouble with Alex. Here, Alex was putting temptation in his path again. Not only that but bringing old emotions into play. Years slipped away, and Nick, again a teenager, looked to Alex for security—if they didn’t find the right project soon, their careers could slide down the proverbial drain, or more aptly, be flushed down the provincial toilet. At least he’d not suffer alone…not unless Alex moved on without him. He couldn’t stomach the notion of Alex’s career flourishing while his own died, Alex moving on, leaving him behind until possibly even their friendship dwindled, maybe never seeing Alex again, at least not spending so much time with him. Nick turned, paced.

What if he did this and it…changed things between him and Alex? If he had to be honest about one thing, that was his greatest fear, although he wasn’t entirely sure what kind of change he imagined.

“You want this as much as I do. You only have to say yes.”

Nick set Alex in the spotlight of his glare, clinging to his second concern: what would his family think? “It’s all very well for you. Your parents don’t originally hail from a tiny village that no one ever heard of. You have no brothers or sisters. I have one of each, and…” He stopped. That was a stupid thing to say. “I’m sorry. I meant…”

Alex waved away his apology. “I know how you felt about Moira. I know you weren’t trying to be thoughtless.”

Still, Alex had noticed anyway. Nick set his foolish slip aside. “I’ve got siblings and a niece and a nephew. I have to think of them. Right now, I’m the successful actor uncle. What are they going to do when it hits the news that I’m playing a gay role? They’ll be teased at school. Not to mention I have one surviving grandparent. Oh God, I forgot that. I’ll send my grandmother to her grave.”

Alex just laughed.

“It’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is. Look, I don’t think our parents or grandparents need as much protection as we often believe. They were young in their day, and maybe some things weren’t discussed, but it doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. You want my advice—”

“Because I haven’t had enough of that already.”

“Talk to them. I’ll call Alana and tell her we’re considering the project. You talk to your family this weekend. See what they think. If they’re horrified then we’ll go from there, but if they’re not, please speak with me again before you decide.”

Nick couldn’t see where talking the matter over with his folks would help, but what did he have to lose? If they were on his side, maybe they would give him some much-needed support when he finally made the right choice and he faced up to Alex and Alana both. Right now, he was too tired to continue the argument. He wanted this role as much as Alex did. He wanted to play the role…with Alex. He just couldn’t accept wanting it.