Racing Hearts

Chapter 5: The Shadows of His Past

The next few days after the race passed in a blur for Serena. She had replayed the last conversation she had with Eli over and over again in her head. His smile had been charming, his confidence radiant, but something about the way he looked at her—like there was still a wall between them—bothered her. She had felt it from the start, that subtle distance he maintained, as though there was a part of himself that he kept hidden. Serena couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to Eli than the reckless, talented racer everyone saw on the track.

That evening, as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, Serena sat at her favorite café, stirring her coffee absently. Her phone buzzed on the table—Nicole’s name flashing across the screen.

“You busy?” Nicole asked as soon as Serena picked up.

“Just sitting here, pretending I have my life together,” Serena joked, pushing her coffee aside.

Nicole’s laughter bubbled through the line. “Well, you might want to hold onto that vibe, because I’ve got something that could shake it up a bit. It is about Eli.”

Serena felt her heart skip a beat just with hearing Eli’s name. Her mind had been occupied with thoughts of him ever since they first met. “Yeah, what about him?”

“I just ran into a friend of someone who used to date him. Small world, huh?”

Serena froze. She didn’t know why, but her stomach twisted at the thought of another woman in Eli’s life. She had no claim on him, even though they have something going on with each other, no reason to feel jealous. That’s what she said to herself. But the pang was there, sharp and unavoidable. “Oh? What did you find out?”

There was a pause on the other end, and when Nicole spoke again, her voice was softer, more cautious. “Well, apparently it didn’t end well. Her name’s Arietta? They were pretty serious, from what I’ve heard. But something went wrong, and Eli... well, he hasn’t really been the same since.”

Serena’s hand tightened around her cup. Arietta. Of course she knows her. The last woman in Eli’s life—one who had clearly left a mark. She hadn’t expected this today. Eli may always seem so carefree, like nothing could touch him, but the way he sometimes looked off into the distance during their conversations, the way his smile didn’t always reach his eyes—he was carrying the weight of a past he hadn’t let go of.

“Did he ever talk about her?” Serena asked, her voice betraying her curiosity.

“Not really. He’s private about it. But you can tell it left a scar. A big one.”

Serena didn’t know how to feel. She just started sorting out her own feelings for Eli, and now there was this shadow from his past—a woman she knew nothing about but who clearly may still lingered in his heart.

“Thanks for telling me, Nicole,” Serena finally said, though her mind was racing with questions she didn’t even know how to ask.

As the call ended, she sat in silence, the warmth of her coffee cup doing little to thaw the cold knot forming in her chest. What was she supposed to do with this information? Confront Eli about it? Pretend she didn’t know? Like she always did. All she knew was that things between them had suddenly become much more complicated.

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A few days later, Serena found herself at Eli’s garage, where he spent most of his time working on his car. The place was quiet, save for the faint hum of the radio and the sound of tools clinking as Eli worked beneath the hood of his car. He hadn’t noticed her yet, so she stood in the doorway for a moment, watching him. The way he focused so intently on his car, the same way he did during a race, was mesmerizing. He was lost in his world, a world she wasn’t sure she belonged to.

Serena cleared her throat, and Eli looked up, wiping his hands on a rag before flashing her that easy smile she was starting to recognize all too well.

“Hey, didn’t hear you come in,” he said, stepping out from behind the car. “What’s up?”

Serena walked over to him, trying to play it cool, but the conversation with Nicole was still fresh in her mind. “Just wanted to see how things were going. I don’t know much about cars, but it looks like you’ve got things under control.”

Eli chuckled, tossing the rag onto the workbench. “Control is a relative term, especially when it comes to this thing,” he said, patting the side of the car affectionately.

There was a pause, an awkward silence that wasn’t usually there between them. Serena knew she couldn’t keep dancing around it forever. She had to know more about the man standing in front of her—the man she was starting to care for, even though she wasn’t sure she should.

“Eli,” she began, her voice softer than usual. “Can I ask you something?”

He raised an eyebrow, sensing the shift in her tone. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”

She made her decision. She will ask him.

Serena took a deep breath. “Well, I heard about… Arietta.”

The change in Eli’s expression was immediate. His smile faltered, and the lightness in his eyes dimmed. He turned away slightly, leaning against the car as if bracing himself for something. “Who told you about Arietta?” he asked, his voice lower now.

“Nicole. She didn’t say much, just that you two were... close.”

Eli sighed, running a hand through his hair. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, and Serena wondered if she had overstepped. But then he spoke, his voice quieter, more vulnerable than she had ever heard it before.

“Arietta was... everything to me,” he said, his gaze fixed on the floor. “We were together for a long time. I thought she was the one.”

Serena felt her chest tighten. She had never seen Eli like this—so raw, so open. It was like he had peeled back a layer of himself, revealing the scars he usually kept hidden.

“What happened?” she asked, though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

Eli shook his head, his jaw clenched. “She left. Just... disappeared one day. No explanation, no goodbye. I tried to move on, but every time I get behind the wheel, I think about her. Racing was our thing. We built this dream together, and then she just... vanished.”

Serena’s heart ached for him. She could see the pain etched in his features, the way he carried it with him like a weight that never truly left. Suddenly, the distance she had felt between them made sense. Eli was still tethered to the past, to a woman who had walked out of his life without a trace.

“I’m sorry, Eli,” Serena said softly, stepping closer to him. “I didn’t know.”

He looked up at her, his eyes searching hers for something—understanding, maybe, or forgiveness for the way he had been holding back. “It’s not your fault. I just... I didn’t want to drag you into this mess.”

Serena swallowed hard, her emotions swirling inside her. She wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter, that she was willing to stay by his side no matter how complicated things got. But there was a voice in the back of her mind—Nicole’s voice, reminding her that Eli might not be ready to move on. That he might still be chasing the ghost of a love that was long gone.

“I don’t know what you’re feeling, Eli,” Serena said, her voice barely above a whisper. “But I care about you. And I need to know if you can let go of the past... or if you’re still holding on to her.”

Eli’s eyes darkened, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I wish I could give you an answer, Serena. But Arietta... maybe she's still there. In the back of my mind. I can’t pretend she’s not.”

The words hit Serena like a punch to the gut. She had known, deep down, that this was the truth. But hearing it from Eli made it real, made it hurt. She had fallen for him, hard and fast, but now she had to face the reality that his heart might never fully be hers.

“I see,” she said, forcing a smile despite the tears welling up in her eyes. “I just... needed to know.”

Eli reached out, gently touching her arm, but the gesture only made the distance between them feel wider. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Serena nodded, stepping back. “It’s okay,” she said, even though it wasn’t. “I just... I have to go.”

And with that, she turned and walked out of the garage, her heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words and unfulfilled hopes.

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xoxo