Midnights to Remember

Memory: One

One

Nagmamadali akong tumakbo papunta sa classroom namin dahil late na ako. Pagdating ko naguumpisa na ang exam and I'm ten minutes late. Napatingin ako sa professor sa harap at nagtama ang paningin namin.

"Miss Aguilar, you're late." ani nito.

"I'm sorry Ma'am I was up all night reviewing for the exam." sagot ko.

I sat on my desk when she said I may be seated. Nagumpisa na akong sagutan ang test paper na inabot nya sa akin and after 30 minutes I passed my paper in front. After all my classmates finished their paper our professor checked all of them and handed them out later on.

"I'm disappointed class ni isa sa inyo walang pumasa even the highest score didn't make it to the passing marks." sabi nito while looking at me.

"Grabe sya nanaman highest as expected."

"Ang galing mo, Kadence"

I ignored the mumbling of my classmates at nagfocus na lang sa sinasabi ng prof namin."You all know kapag bagsak kayo ay bagsak kayo and I can't do anything about it."

After all the sermon ay pinalabas na kami ng classroom. I was about to go out nang tinawag ako ng professor namin."Miss Aguilar." Napatigil ako at lumingon sa kaniya.

"Iha what's wrong?" tanong niya. "I was expecting you would pass my subject but you didn't, you said you were up all night reviewing for the exam yet you didn't pass. May problema ba?" Nagulat ako sa tanong nya but I gave a faint smile.

"I'm fine, Tita. I mean Ma'am Aguilar." pagtatama ko. Yes you heard it right, our professor in Accounting is my Mommy's sister. "Maybe I didn't review enough lang po."

She sighed. "Kilala mo naman ang Mommy mo Kadence, she will ask me about this. You're parents will be upset."

I smiled bitterly. "It's fine po. Ako na ang bahala magpaliwanag sa kanila so you don't have to worry po."

She looked at me, concerned. "Iha you can tell me if something is bothering you, I'm still your tita after all, okay?"

I smiled. "Yes tita, I appreciate this."

Kinuha ko ang bag sa desk ko and bid my goodbye to her while I'm heading out of the classroom.

Lumabas ako ng university at dumiretso sa parking lot para hanapin ang kotse namin. Nang mahanap ko ay tumakbo ako palapit at pabagsak na umupo sa passenger seat.

"May pupuntahan ka pa ba, Kadence?"narinig kong tanong ni Tatay Eddie mula sa driver's seat.

Umiling ako. "Wala na po tatay, sa bahay na po."

Sinuot ko ang earphones ko at nagsimulang magpatugtog. I was silent the whole time habang pinagmamasdan ang makukulay na ilaw sa labas.

"Why are you being like this, Kadence"

Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sa 'kin this past few days. I don't feel like my usual self, I feel tired and drained kahit wala naman akong ginagawang nakakapagod.

I feel like I've been neglecting my studies because I always lose focus when it comes to academics. Siguro pagod lang ako dahil nakakapagod nga naman itong course ko.

Nakarating kami sa bahay at dumiretso agad sa kwarto ko para magpalit ng damit. When I came down my parents are already in the dining table.

"I heard from your Tita that it's your exam to her subject is today. How was it?"

They can't even ask how was my day or how was I. It's always how is my studies going or how was my exam, quizzes and projects.

I forced a smile."It was fine Mommy. Walang nakapasa sa amin."

Napatigil sa pagkain si Mommy at tumingin sa akin."Did I heard that right Kadence, walang nakapasa even you?" She already looksmad."Hindi ba ilang linggo kang nagrereview para sa exam na yan and you're saying that you didn't even got a passing mark?"

"I'm sorry Mom atleast I had the highest score." sagot ko.

"Atleast? That's not an excuse because you still failed. Are you not focusing on your studies?" sabi naman ni Dad.

"I am Dad, i'm sorry I will try harder next time. It won't happen again." I gave a bitter smile.

Ipinagpatuloy namin ang dinner na para bang walang nangyari. They were silent all the time kaya nanahimik na lang din ako. It hurts pero sanay na ako they won't accept this kind of scores unless it's a passing mark or a high mark.

Pumasok ako sa kwarto ko at umupo sa study table para magsimulang magreview. Tinitingnan ko pa lang lahat ng libro na babasahin ko parang napapagod na ako pero wala akong choice kaya pinaulit ulit ko lahat ng babasahin ko para lang hindi na ako magkamali ulit.

I always tell myself that I'm an only child kaya sila ganyan pero as time flies I don't know if that's the case anymore. They're expectations is so high to the point na nakakasawa nang abutin. I kept questioning myself if this is the life I wanted to live.

~

After my last subject in the morning lumabas ako ng classroom at naglakad sa crowded hallway. Naglakad ako papunta sa likod ng school at tumambay sa garden, I usually go here kapag gusto kong magisip isip.I was peacefully staring at the trees nang may narinig akong nagtatawan.

Three guys and two girls sitting in the bench. Nagtatawanan at nagkwekwentuhan, I didn't realize na pinagmamasdan ko na pala sila and they looked at my direction. Kumaway sa 'kin si Ashley, I know her dahil naging kaklase ko siya in one of our subject last semester. I just gave her a faint smile and they continued what they were doing.

They are the member of our school organization that do charity work, they named their group "The Pathfinder". Hindi ko maiwasang tumingin ulit sa kanila, they look so happy and care free. I wish i could be that happy but I just smiled bitterly because I know I won't be.

But boy was I wrong, at this exact moment I don't have any idea that the group I'm staring at right now will taught me the things I thought I couldn't do.