The Gamma's Dark Witch

5 - Shadows

(Nisha)

“Sisters,” Soleil called from the main room, her voice bright and cheery, and everything this cold morning wasn’t.

I sat up, wiping the sleep out of my eyes, but feeling surprisingly fresh, despite my late night with my shadows.

I met Zephyr’s cold dark gaze from the corner of my eye. It seemed questioning, and I offered her a smile and a slight nod of my head. She barely raised a brow in response, but it might have been our most real conversation, even if it was silent.

Kevari, Zephyr, and I met Soleil downstairs. She was in high spirits and cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

“What is it?” Zephyr asked her, getting straight to the point.

“Can she just not be in a good mood?” Kevari chastised, but her voice was soft and playful.

“I have found something I have been long searching for. I must go away to confirm it,” Soleil said with a smile that would put the sun to shame.

No one asked anything further, and Soleil didn’t go on. Questions gnawed at me, but I knew better than to voice them.

“We will have a task when I’m back,” Soleil said, “When I’m gone, take care of Ezowyn, will you?” She looked to Kevari only.

“Of course.” Kevari gave her a demure smile. “It is our honor to share his home.”

“How long will you be gone?” I asked after a moment. It seemed safe enough.

“Just a few days,” Soleil responded, glancing at the pendant she wore hanging off her belt, that was as much a part of her as anything. She looked at it like she was looking for answers, and I used to think it was some kind of compass or magical guide. When I asked, she explained it was an old heirloom. She looked at it for comfort instead of guidance, but I liked to think that she was seeking wisdom from whoever gifted it to her.

“Now eat up; we have a lot of work ahead of us,” Soleil said, dishing out breakfast for us.

We ate in silence. I was ravenous. I wondered if using my powers was the reason for it. I didn’t feel the same hunger after the mountain, though, and I tapped into it then. But I was high on adrenaline the day after.

- - - -

While Soleil was gone, I spent my time taking walks, testing and trying my power, and f.orcing myself to come to terms with the darkness that swirled inside me. Was me.

Ezowyn was scarce, and he would come in with some more food for us. Mumbling and muttering incoherently and then would disappear in a whirlwind of papers. I couldn’t tell if I liked him or not, but I didn’t get the chance to form an opinion.

Fresh snow blanketed the forest grounds. I was comfortable enough to explore them on my own but didn’t risk wandering too far from the simple paths I carved. My power thrummed, bringing the new bright spark to the surface as a peace offering. I smiled, unclenching my hand against the biting cold and letting the shadows dance out of me. They slowly uncurled from my hand and swirled out and back.

“That is new,” Kevari noted.

I jumped, and so did my shadows, coming back to me. “They’re like little pets,” I said, smiling, stretching out my hand.

“May I?” Kevari reached out her hand, and I nodded. Snow lifted from the ground and changed into water droplets dancing over Kevari’s palm. She smiled, her turquoise eyes brightening as the water drops danced through the air to my shadows.

My shadows seemed to pause to study them but apprehensively moved out and shot through the water droplets, skewing them into specks of star-flecked shards.

“Amazing,” Kevari breathed. “I have never seen anything like it. It’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful?” I tilted my head, studying her. I would have never thought my darkness could be anything but evil.

“Are you controlling them?” she asked.

“I can, but they feel like a separate thing. I can’t describe it.” I shrugged, and the shadows moved with me.

“What else can they do?”

“They can move things, small things. I haven’t tried much.” I swallowed and lowered my voice.” I was scared of them for so long that just letting them out, learning to control my instinct to push them down and lock them away, was hard enough. Is hard enough,” I corrected.

A slight frown crossed Kevari’s soft features, but she gave me a sympathetic smile. “I understand. No-” She shook her head, her inky weightless hair moved to settle around her frame. “I don’t understand. I was never afraid of mine. I was happy, actually.” She shrugged slightly.

I nodded, watching Kevari call to the snow and change them to water droplets and shapes, offering them to my shadows.

“I have seen a little of what you can do, and it is breathtaking. The way you move, how effortless. I have to admit that I was a little jealous when I saw you move through the shadows," she said.

My eyes snapped to Kevari’s brilliant turquoise one, and she gave me a shrug, a bit of color tinting her light brown skin. She was always so self-assured in a way that Zephyr wasn’t. Zephyr screamed confidence, but Kevari was calmer, steadying, unyielding.

“Really?” I asked. I needed to make sure I heard her right.

“Really,” she confirmed, “I love my powers. I always have felt connected to water in a way that I cannot fully describe nor comprehend. It feels like something ingrained in me.” I frowned, and she stilled, her weightless hair moving around her.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I whispered, my voice as foreign as my shadows.

What part of me was this darkness coming from? Why did it choose me? I didn’t understand how it worked or if we were randomly assigned something from our maker, but from talking to the others, seeing how their gifts played with their personality, I didn’t really want to know the answer that I already knew.

That part of me was made with darkness and chosen as its vessel. But why?

Kevari waited until I met her eyes. “What are you so scared of?” she asked.

“Why me?” I croaked, and her features softened. “Why did I get darkness when you all got light and wind and water? Why me?” I repeated harder.

“What if it's not darkness?” Kevari suggested, and I sighed internally. I didn’t want to have this conversation anyway; I didn't want to voice those fears. More than that, I didn’t want her to try to appease me or convince me of something I know not to be true.

I turned and kept walking. Kevari followed closely behind in silence, offering water beads to my shadows. They seemed tame now, at ease, and I think I would miss them if they ever went away.

-

“Things were different before you arrived.” Kevari offered as the cabin came into view, nestled against the bare trees. “Zephyr was, well, she was difficult.” I glanced at her. “More difficult than now," she amended, smiling. "She had something that happened that ate at her, and I don’t know if she will ever get over it, but she suppressed it, learned to live with it at least.”

I realized that there was much I didn’t know about my sisters. We were each other's constant companions, the only family I knew. That word seemed as hollow as the word home. But what did I really know about who they were before I joined them when I was made?

“I think I became what Zephyr wasn’t.” Kevari’s soft voice pulled me back from my thoughts. "I struggled for a while, not knowing who I was because I didn’t get the chance to figure it out by myself.” She gave me a wary smile, but it held a heavy weight. “I think I figured it out, but I still don’t know what part of me was shaped because of her, to fill what she wasn’t or what I would have been on my own. Either way, it doesn’t matter. That was the only option.” She seemed sad, even though she put on a smile.

I stopped walking and looked at her. “What happened to Zephyr?” I asked.

“It is her story to tell.” I fought not to roll my eyes. I knew she was right.

But would Zephyr ever tell me? In the past few days, I had more intimate conversations with Zephyr and Kevari than I had in the years previous. It felt nice, warm even.

Maybe one day, I would ask. Maybe one day, she would tell me.

- - - -

(Nisha)

Elowyn settled back down in his home the day before Soleil returned, but we still didn’t see much of him. He stayed in his own rooms, and I spent as much time in the winter air, testing and trying my shadows.

I felt a sense of peace when her familiar blazing red hair came into view in the distance. I didn’t realize that I felt so off, so unsettled without her. Maybe it was worry for her, but I knew I needed her close for my own comfort.

The cold wind swirled in the cracked window and circled around Zephyr. “She’s on edge.” She jutted her chin towards Soleil.

I glanced at her, her face stoic, impassive, but her jaw ticked.

“Maybe she’s just tired,” Kevari offered, “I’ll get her something warm to eat and add more wood to the fire.”

Soleil came in and scanned the room, giving us a tight smile. She took off her cloak and settled into a worn seat by the now crackling fire. I silently came up next to her, and her face softened when she met mine.

“Sit,” she offered, motioning to the chairs around us. Kevari produced a blanket and a bowl of soup for Soleil and joined Zephyr and me by Soleil’s side.

“Now that we have regained our strength and energy from traveling, we can begin our task,” Soleil started, “We are to re-route a river to power Elowyn’s new…mill; he has just finished construction.”

Re-routing a river would be interesting. It didn’t seem hard, but it would provide us with a challenge. I don’t know if it was because I started to unleash more of the part of myself I tried to suppress or if it was because of something else, but I felt antsy. I couldn’t sit still, and I never had much of a problem with that before. I felt like I needed a distraction.

“Is that it?” Zephyr asked after Soleil’s full attention turned to eating her soup.

“We will stay in case there is.” Soleil’s brows tugged together slightly. “Backlash.” I opened my mouth to say something, but Soleil closed her eyes, plastering on a bright smile. “We have good things coming, Sisters. I can feel it.”

Elowyn came barreling through the room, his hair in disarray, and rushed out the front door. Soleil either didn’t see him or was completely unaffected by his presence.

“He’s been like that,” Zephyr said, “Is he always like that?”

“People rarely change,” Soleil said, “Unless they do.”

I swear I saw Zephyr roll her eyes, but it was a movement so unlike her I wouldn’t have believed it. She rarely gave anything away under her impassive, hard gaze.

“When do we start?” Kevari asked, glancing between Soleil and Zephyr.

“Tomorrow. I need tonight to rest, and then we can start our task so we can move on.”

Move on? Already? I wanted to ask in which direction. I didn’t want to go further away from the mountain. I swallowed but said nothing.

We sat in what could have been counted as a comfortable silence. Kevari took the bowl from Soleil, and Soleil summoned some flames from the fire. They danced along her hand and intertwined in her fingers.

“Since when could you do that?” Zephyr jutted her chin at Soleil’s hand.

“Powers change, adapt,” Soleil said, her voice far away, the fire danced in her golden-flecked eyes, “Evolve.”

I took a shaky breath. It took everything in me to focus on the warmth and dance of Soleil’s flames and not think about what my darkness could evolve into and if I was even capable of controlling it at all.

That night I dreamt of darkness and firey pain and him.