the Officer and his Beauty

Chapter 22

Nate's pov

That was so stupid.

So stupid.

I kissed Madison, against her will, in the laundry room. What the hell was I turning into?!

I was just stirring the food that Madison made around. I wasn’t eating this, not that she couldn’t cook, or she was getting better, learning how to, but today, I wouldn’t trust anything she gave me.

The stare she gave me when Nana made her apologize; I was just a second from snapping at Nana for acting so different from when talking to Stephanie; she was acting like herself and not commanding around Madison.

I made a hurt sound. Madison was right. Nana was mean to her, and I hated it; I really did. But she didn’t understand how hard it was for me to say… well, anything. She raised and took me in when my mom ditched me; how could I go against her?

“That sounds lovely, don’t you think that, Nate?” I heard Nana's voice. It was so sweet that I almost forgot how she sounded when she was sneering at Madison. It was like she wasn’t even the same person anymore.

“Yeah, sure…” I tried to smile at Stephanie, who was eyeing me every second she could; she was a curvy brunette. I mean, I had nothing against her or her looks, but she wasn’t Madison, and I was never going to date her or f**k her, for that matter. The thought alone wanted to make me start to run away.

“I’m sorry, Stephanie. Nate has a lot on his mind these days; he is working hard to get into the police academy, even raising his grades to become an officer, maybe even a sergeant.” She sounded so proud when I just wanted to throw up the food I wasn’t eating out on the small patio. I hated every second of this when I saw Madison coming from the laundry room since I was glancing into the house next to Stephanie.

“Wow, that sounds amazing, Nate!” Stephanie was batting her eyelashes and beaming at me when I just smiled back weakly. Sure it was. But I didn’t care anymore. Not when I forced myself over Madison, who was walking into my room and leaving my clothes; she had been down there alone for almost two hours, I counted.

“Oh, Nate, you should follow Stephanie home; I don’t want her to walk alone at this hour since her mother had to leave.” I looked at Nana. Was that a small glimpse of her being cunning? Why did I hate every second of that? Did she think that I would forget Madison and just get married to Stephanie and live happily ever after?

“Yes, of course I will.” I forced a smile at the overjoyed Stephanie; she was probably planning our wedding in her head; I wanted nothing more than to leave and go over and scoop up Madison, beg her to forgive me again, and never let go; I didn’t care about anything else.

“Good, then it's settled, and Nate, if you want to stay over if you are too tired to drive back, it's okay since I have Madison here with me.” Nana looked overjoyed when I blinked; what did she say to me? Stay over!? No, just no f*****g way! That was not happening!

“I’m not staying, Nana; I have my workout and job.” Stephanie’s smile disappeared against my frown and dark, upset voice. What the hell did they think about me? That I was just going to accept this forced arrangement, no! I was in love with Madison, and she was suffering!

It was my fault, everything was… and she hated me… oh god, I wanted to just go and kill myself hearing her screams leaving the basement!

“Nate, please don’t get upset; it was just a suggestion; there will be more times….” Nana had her hand on mine when I shook it off; no more games! I didn’t want to be married off to Stephanie or any other girl that Nana liked! I wanted Maddie!

“There will be no more f*****g times, Nana.” She made a shocked face when I cursed at her like she never had heard me do that before because I never had to her, but enough was enough. Madison was right; I wasn’t a child, and she needed to accept that!

“What is happening with you? This is not acceptable, Nate, and you know that!? Is Madison making you curse? Did she teach you that it’s okay to do that these days?!” Nana brought out her darkest voice, which made me feel guilty and honestly scared when I was seven and not when I was twenty-one! I should just tell her that, and I was going to right now!

“Madison? No, but I learned about you, Nana, treating Maddie like a maid, using her misfortune against her when you know she can’t fight back; it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore!” My voice was dark and grim, making Stephanie wake up like she didn’t want to be here anymore. Good. The faster she was gone, the better!

“Stephanie, could you please wait in the house? I need to talk to Nate alone...” Oh, Nana wasn’t happy, giving me a deep scowl—like the ones she gave Maddie when she thought I couldn’t see her. It’s like she was switching personalities, and I didn’t understand why.

“Don’t bother Stephanie; I don’t want to date you and wish you the best.” My voice was still cold when Stephanie made a slightly hurt sound before running away, not saying another word.

Nana had filled her head with crap, hadn’t she? My jaw was clenching; what the f**k was happening around me?!

“Well, that was just great, Nate, fantastic! Now she will tell the whole town about this, do you know what you have just done!? Her mother is the personal assistant to the police chief. Was it worth it!?” I was still sitting when Nana stood up, giving her height over me when I just smirked back; so worth it.

“I wouldn’t have cared if her mother was the damn police chief herself; I’m not dating Stephanie!” Nana scoffed like she already knew why, which broke my heart more. She looked so indifferent to my feelings suddenly, as if they didn’t matter, but they did!

“Yes, I already know who you want to date: that rich, spoiled girl inside the house. She has turned your head, Nate. Can’t you see that?! You are a good boy, and she is just trouble!” I got up, making her lose her advance when she looked up like she hated that I was defending Madison.

“Madison hasn’t done anything to deserve what you are doing to her, Nana, and yes, she is the most beautiful girl in the world, and I am in love with her!” I said it loud and clear when she made a hurt face, like me saying that I loved Madison was hurting her; why was she acting like this!?

“She is rotten, just like her father! Don’t you see that, Nate?! Sometimes, you are just as stupid as your mother when she married that bastard who knocked her up and left her!” Nana cried the last part when I just stared at her; she knew who my father was!? I had stopped asking when I was a kid because she said she didn’t know, and now, my mother was suddenly married to him!?

“Married, who?! Who did my mom marry?!” I was yelling back when she seemed to catch herself and got quiet; that was fantastic, just the best way to make me not start to hate her for keeping that from me all her life!

“He doesn’t matter, and neither does your mother. I took care of you, Nate! You are my son more than you ever were Beatrice’s, and I love you; just stop and listen to me!” Nana pleaded with me more than she was angry now, but she was still upset when every fiber of my body was tense.

She lied to me. Nana lied to me, and I realized just how f*****g stupid I had been. Just doing whatever she wanted when she didn’t care about me, and I helped push away the only girl in the whole world that actually saw me, saw my f****d up past, and she didn’t care, and me? I just took everything from her, and then I pushed her away.

“No. You just want what’s best for you, isn’t that right, Nana?” my voice was dead. She looked at me, still not understanding what was happening, as if she didn’t want to see that I was so mad at her. She betrayed me and tried to steer me away from Madison!

“You are so mean to Madison, and I don’t understand how you can be that?! She is a nice girl; what is wrong with me liking her!? she is so much more than Stephanie ever will be!” I wanted her to understand there was no chance in hell that I would hook up with Stephanie or any other girl, not when my dream girl sorted my clothes, even if she hated me!

“Nate, just give Stephanie a chance. If you give it some time, you will see what a great girl she is. She will make you happy and take care of you when I’m not around anymore!” I sneered. So that was what this was all about!? Nana thought I was still seven years old and standing on her doorstep.

“I don’t want Stephanie! I don’t care how nice she is, for f**k sake; if I wanted her, you don’t think that I would have been dating her when she went to high school together?!” Nana made a surprised face like that hadn’t hit her once; I already knew Stephanie, well I knew of her, she was nice, but she wasn’t what I wanted!

“Well, not Stephanie then… but what about Amber? The pastor's daughter? She is sweet and caring and talks to me daily in the supermarket and at mass.” She looked up smiling, her old face showing me that she was just running over every girl in this town to pair me up with, and none of them was Maddie.

“No.” I crossed my arms; why did I even bother!? Nana wasn’t going to stop this stupid game. I wanted to get inside, beg Madison to forgive me, and even go down on my knees If I had to; she deserved so much more than me and my shitty baggage, but I needed her, like the selfish asshole I had realized that I was!

I just turned and started to walk inside, ignoring Nanas yelling to get back and listen when I ran the last steps and was calling her name everywhere when she wasn’t in the kitchen or living room, f**k!

I made a fast turn in my bedroom and Nana's. The laundry room and the bathroom were getting the hard slap on my stupid face when I stood in the hallway. She was gone.

“No! no, she is not leaving me!” I felt hopeless when I opened the door to the driveway; she was just gone!

“Nate, just listen to me; she will be back. She has nowhere else to go. I don’t even understand why you are caring that much. She is nothing but trouble and always will be! Everyone else around here can see it, but not you?!” Nana was shouting after me when I was already getting inside my truck.

Fuck her and her small-minded stupidity that couldn’t see that Madison wasn’t an evil force that was here to ruin their life. She was just lost and scared, being all alone in a life she wasn’t used to, and I let that happen to her; I was the villain, the monster.

“I love her, that's why!” I sneered and slammed the door hard on the truck, not caring that Nana looked like she wanted to wake up from this nightmare. I didn't care, not when I only had one goal: get Madison back, and this time, I wasn't going to let her go!