INSANE (Book one)

Chapter 8

Leah Knight

I gently laid Reina inside her crib, tucking her in. I stared at her, but my mind was elsewhere......

I need to not love you, I need to not care about you at all...........I wish I never met you......

Another icy dagger stabbed me in the the heart as I remembered his words. God, I was so selfish! He tried to help me but all I had ever did to him was see his fault in everything. He wanted to be together, be in love like before but all I ever did was think about myself, not minding his feelings. Even when I ran away, I only thought about myself and never considered his feelings. Sighing, I realized I was a bad person. Ares wasn't insane. If he would be anything, he's definitely not insane. I was just angry and not watching my mouth that time.

But who could blame? A girl just committed suicide right before my eyes and when I came down panicking, there was no sign of her accident. I was dead sure I saw her. I wasn't imagining.

But that girl...........

My mind trailed off as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hands were leaning against the edge of the vanity table, my appearance exhausting and sad. But that was before I noticed a small object on the vanity table. Frowning, I picked up the necklace, observing it. I smiled at it.

A?L.

I remembered the time when Ares gave it to me. We were 2 months into our relationship and he had snuck me out at 4am to watch the sunrise at the beach.

I got you something.......Really? What is it?............Happy two months anniversary beautiful........Thank you, it's beautiful. I love it.......you're beautiful and I love you..........I love you too, Ares..........

Those were the good old times when everything was like a fairytale. When nothing could possibly go wrong. When Ares and I were so in love. But now, it's complicated. A sad smile spread across my face as I stared at the necklace. I looked up at my reflection again.

But wait. Was I really going to allow Ares to regret meeting me? Was I going to let go of all the wonderful memories and times we had with him just like that? Like we never had that love or bond?

I can't. I can't lose him again.

Instantly, a brilliant idea came into my head and I smiled smugly as I eyed my body through the mirror. I still had the matching underwear I wore during the event, with a silk off-white robe over myself. And it was a plus 'cause Ares loved black. Excitement sparked through me as I glanced at Reina, she was peacefully sleeping.

"I'm sorry Queen, I wouldn't be sleeping here tonight" I giggled. I fixed my hair, aired it's waves a little, making it a bit bouncy then quickly grabbed the blood red lipstick Ares loved so much on me. After smacking it over my lips, I realized that I reached tried my sexy looks. Taking a deep breath, I wrapped the robe around me and walked out of the room.

**********

The door on Ares's room was made of dark mahogany wood. This man and his love for black. I brought my hand up and knocked on it. There was a long silence and one would think that he was going to answer politely.

"what?" he snapped behind the door. I swallowed before surging up all I had left and opened the door, slipping into the room. My heart pounded against my chest, as if it would explode.

Ares was lounging on the chair behind his desk, tossing a fountain pen up and catching it. He too had that sexy look, but then again, when did this man ever not look sexy? His black hair was messed up over his alabaster skinned forehead, the tie he wore loosened.

"what happened to your separate room?" he iced, barely glancing at me. If not for the courage suddenly building up, I would have felt bad and start crying. I just rolled my eyes and loosened the wrap on the robe. I walked over to him and clambered unto his laps, straddling him and completely catching him off guard.

"what the f**k-"

I cut him off when I smashed my lips on his. I bit his bottom lip gently, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. A soft groan escaped his lips as he kissed me back. I smiled into the kiss and tugged the hair behind his head. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, groping the skin and squeezing my hips as we continued to kiss. My hands roamed hungrily over the buttons of his white shirt as I unbuttoned them. My hands explored his alabaster chest, strong and manly. I trailed his abs, teasing him. But I had to speak.

I pulled away and rested my forehead against his, keeping my hands behind his neck.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, staring into his shiny black eyes. I had almost forgotten how to beautiful they looked. Ares looked up at me, a small smile playing on his lips while he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. His arm was still on my waist. The way he studied me with that smile made me swallow.

"about what?" he asked searching my face with that smile. "constantly insulting me or not giving a flying f**k about my feelings or running away with my baby? Which one?" he asked again. I felt all my courage drowning my body going slump as I lowered my lashes.

"everything" I murmured. I felt his fingers trailing my chin and he forcefully made me look up. He continued to tease my skin, trailing his fingers along my collarbone, weakening me.

"I wanted us to go back to what we were before I wanted us to love each other" he murmured, kissing my neck. I closed my eyes as he tortured me. "you used to crave for my kisses. Begging for my touches. Screaming my name in bed. But you left. Why were you scared, Leah?" he whispered against my neck. He pulled away and I stumbled out of his laps, tears forming in my eyes. I turned my back to him.

"I didn't know what to do. I loved my baby, Ares. And you know your father. He would do anything to make sure I don't have that baby. Because she was a mistake" I sobbed, pulling my hands over my eyes.

"and you thought I'd give a f**k about what my father thought? I would kill him if he laid a finger on my daughter, Leah. You never considered how I felt. You never knew if I wanted the baby or not. You never thought about how I'd feel when you leave. You just left".

There brief silence as he said that, but soon his arms found their way to my waist, holding me in a warm embrace. I didn't realize how cold I was until he did that. He buried his face on the crook of my neck, still holding me as we stood by the foot of the bed.

"I thought you wouldn't want her, Ares" I sniffed, melting into him as he held me tighter.

"I would want anything that comes from you, Leah. Anything. Even if it was cancer. I would love it, I would embrace it" he says truthfully. His words mended my broken heart almost immediately. His words made all the love I had for him, all the love I held back and caged deep inside me come back to life. Because they sounded so truthful. Instantly, I turned around and crashed my lips against his.

"I love you, Ares" I whispered into his mouth. He smirked against my lips and lifted me up to his waist.

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