INSANE (Book one)

Chapter 7

Ares Knight

After Leah left, I tried to swallow the guilt that was drowning me. If Leah could be anything, she would never be a nuisance. She could be annoying, stubborn and all but never a nuisance. Being around her sometimes makes me want to lose my mind and after what she said two weeks ago in the kitchen, it almost got me on edge. I knew she thought I was ignoring her. But I didn't want her to feel that way. Who was I kidding? It was impossible to ignore and it had been hell without her.

If only she knew..........

I wandered around the hall like a lost puppy after she left, making small efforts to make conversations with people who barely knew anything about me except what the media portrays. But the figure that caught my sight made me stand back in shock.

She flipped her dark hair that was so much like mine. It was definitely her. The shock was replaced with boiling fury I could literally feel the smoke coming out of my ears.

you're in the public, Ares - my subconscious reminded me.

I had to take deep breaths to calm myself as I closed my eyes. But it wasn't working. Nothing really works when it comes to her. When it comes to them.

She was making a conversation with some guy, smiling and making every move perfect. The guy looks like he was about to take her whole. Well who could blame him? She was damn too gorgeous.

I didn't wait, I stormed over and seized her by her forearm rather harshly. I was boiling with rage.

"hey!" she protested with her chirpy young voice just like how I remembered it. I forced a smile onto my face so that nothing would seem off to the guy, who was staring at me with a frown.

"sorry man, gotta steal your date" I said, my voice shaking in fury. Before he could respond, I pulled her to a corner of the hall out of the eyes of the public so that I could yell at her and relish my anger as much as I wanted without recieving attention from them.

She was smallish and petite, but still taller than the last time I saw her.

"hey, I wasn't done talking to him you know" she scowled at me. My eyes glared at her in fury, she had to cringe in fear.

"what the f**k are you doing back in New Jersey, Jasmine?" I hissed, beyond angry. She sighed and passed her hand through her mid-long black hair.

"a little hey would have been better after so many years of not seeing you, Brother" she smiled. But it wasn't enough to deceive me again like it did years ago.

"I told you to stay out of this place! And everywhere that looks like it!" I yelled punching the wall behind her. She glared with her shiny blue eyes that reminded me so much of how my mother's looked like.

"you can't tell me what to do anymore, Ares. I'm not four!" she shot back. I towered over her, looking down at her like a predator stalking its prey. It was something I do to scare her.

"I can and I will. You're leaving New Jersey tonight. Why would you leave her alone there?" I seethed, not believing she could be so irresponsible to leave our mother all alone in Florida. She rubbed the place I caught her.

"she told me to. She wanted you to know the news" I furrowed my eyebrows, keeping my anger aside.

"what news?" I asked, frowning. Her beautiful face stretched into a wide smile, her eyes twinkling with happiness.

"I'm getting married!" she squealed excitedly. My heart dropped at her words. What did she just say? I just hope I'm becoming deaf....... But the excitement on her face seems to tell me otherwise.

"oh f**k no" I hissed, rubbing my face in frustration. What does it take to peacefully live with yourself without your family inviting problems while you're desperately trying to protect them?

"the guy's name is Austin Campbell. He's from New Orleans, we met in college......." she continued, oblivious to my lack of interest or just pretending to be. She doesn't know what she's getting herself into.

"no no no no no!" I yelled, punching the wall when I couldn't take in her bullshit anymore. I bit my lips in frustration, putting my hands on my hips.

"is something wrong?" she asked gently, her eyebrows creased in confusion innocently.

"everything is wrong, Jasmine. What are you trying to get yourself into?! Do you know how hard I'm trying to keep up with protecting you and my family?" I asked in frustration. Jasmine has no idea how it feels to be me.

"we don't need protection anymore, Ares. They never came for us after we left. They never came after he died" she murmured. I stared at her for some time.

"you will never know what kind of wolf lurks behind the shadows, Jasmine. I can't lose you, or mother. Or Reina or Leah. I can't take any risk. I can't......" I paused and sighed before pulling out a sleek black credit card "you're leaving New Jersey" I said sternly. Jasmine frowned at me.

"But Ares-"

"no buts, Jasmine. You're leaving tonight. Period. It's not safe here" I tossed the credit card at her "you're not getting married either. You're continuing college. A different one out of that Austin's sight" I gritted, preparing to leave and look for Dean so that we could make plans for her leave.

"Not everyone is as bad as you think, Ares. I know what you've been through and I won't blame you for whatever you do. Good or bad. I won't blame you if you don't trust anyone. But some people are different Ares. Some have the lights. They do. You haven't even met Austin yet. How could you be so judgemental, brother? I love him, brother" Jasmine says with a small voice. I closed my eyes trying to control my nerves, my back turned to her.

"Jasmine-"

"No Ares! You can't treat me like this anymore. I'm nineteen, not four. I have my own life too, you can't make decisions for me"

"Jasmine, I don't wanna hear your voice anymore-"

"no Ares! You shut up and allow me to speak! You never gave people chances. You never gave him a chance when he said 'sorry'!"

"you and I both know he never meant it" I seethed, my anger rising back again.

"oh please, stop acting like you actually have sense when you don't! You don't Ares! Mom loved him. You never had to do what you did-" I couldn't control it anymore. My hands lashed out and smacked her small frame against the wall.

"shut up!" I yelled. Jasmine was crying hysterically, her nose running. Her once happy blue eyes dimming with sadness, hurt and anger. A look I haven't seen ever since he died. But then it seemed like I was witnessing a flashback. The memories came back in flooding action.........

Ares no! Ares don't do it! Ares........

Those words seemed to be imprinted in the walls of my brain. But I did it anyway........

My thoughts were cut short when I saw Leah racing down the flight of stairs like she was escaping World War II

"help! Help! Somebody just fell off the window!" she yelled, her hair wild and crazily following her steps, almost stumbling when she reached the last step.

"Leah!" I called, leaving a bewildered Jasmine and running over to Leah. She didn't wait for me, she just sprinted over to the hotel's double doors. The people followed her, including me, wanting to see what got my wife so frightened, shocked and geared up. Leah bursted into the hotel's double doors, looking around rapidly with her hair all over her. I was close behind her, and she was earning weird glances from people. I put my hand to my temple, realizing she didn't know what she was doing. Was this night cursed or something?

"But..........but" she trailed off, walking over to a grey car. What's this s**t about now?

"Leah" I called in exasperation and frustration. Jasmine had already frustrated me enough. But Leah doesn't even seem to be in her right senses, like she was too paranoid.

"but she was right here! She fell off the window and landed on this car. I saw her. I know I did" she explained, trying to convince herself in a baby voice. Everyone turned to me with a look that said: is this the woman you married? Hard luck, man

I avoided eye contacts at all cost and stared at nothing but Leah who was looking startled, her beautiful sunset eyes teary.

"Leah, you're creating a scene. I know you're tired-" she cuts me off when she looks up, her gaze angry and serene.

"I know what I saw, Ares. You don't know anything" she shot, anger sparking up. My anger was building up too, but I tried to maintain a cool demeanor. I blew out a breath.

"Leah-"

She stormed over to me, anger was so evident and I think she had forgotten about the people. I was this close to forgetting about them too.

"No Ares. For once in your life, shut the f**k up and let me talk! You are the one creating a scene. I almost lost my head when I saw a girl falling off the window right before my eyes. And all you f*****g say is that I'm creating a scene? I can't take up with your insults anymore! You left me for two weeks, you called me a fool, a nuisance and you're saying hallucinating?! Do you ever care about how you make people feel?! Or do you think everyone doesn't have a heart just like you?!" she was poking my chest angrily, much as well poking my anger "if you have a heart made of stone, don't take mine like yours! I have a heart and I know exactly how people feel because that's how I feel too. You were the one that dragged me into this madness! I was perfectly fine before you came along. And now you're completely making me lose my mind! This is crazy! You're crazy. You're insane-"

Instantly, I caught both her wrists, my eyes blazing with burning fury. I couldn't see anyone except her. My head snapped in an unfriendly way, I closed my eyes and tried to push away the memories.

you're insane, you're insane........Maria, he's insane.........Your son is insane.......Hes mentally unstable........Nobody gets me momma.........I'm totally alright........ Leah....... Leah momma, I love her....... I can't live without her.......... Follow your dreams, Ares........ She is my dream!......... No dad!....... You're insane.........insane........ Insane....... Insane........

"you can insult me all you want Leah, but to God who made me you wouldn't dare call me insane" I iced, shoving her back with aggression. She stumbled back and almost fell that only Dean saved her from falling. She looked shocked and frightened and what I never wanted her to feel: scared. But I was blinded by fury. Out of all the people in this Goddamned world, I never thought she was the one that would pull the trigger.

"I'm not crazy! I'm perfectly fine! I'm not insane!" I yelled into thin air. Leah allowed tears to roll down her eyes. It seemed impossible to hold back mine. My face felt red-hot, my eyes bloodshot red with tears. My heart beat erratic against my constricting chest.

"I lose" I said with a broken voice "I can't give you the love you want. And I can't hate you because it's ruining my life" My heart broke at the sight of her as she bit her lips, staring at me with waterfall tears. I passed a hand through my hair in frustration. I couldn't hold back anymore.

"I just.......I need.........I need to nothing you! I need to feel nothing for you! I need to not think about you, I need to not love you, I need to not care about you at all" I screamed at her face. I lowered my eyes with my hands on my hips, not wanting to be affected by her tears. "but I don't know how to do that" I murmured. I rose my head up and blew out my cheeks, staring at her for long time. She seemed to want to reach for me, but she held her hand back. I pursed my lips, tears escaping their cage as I finally looked at her.

"I wish I never met you"

It was the last thing I said before I turned around and stormed over to my car. I just needed to get out of there. I just needed to feel my heart again. I thought as I started the car with tears pouring down my face, I sped off.

But she already stole it a long time ago...........

Edited: so I know these first few chapters are crappy, but just be patient with me and don't give up just yet! I promise it gets better from here. As I was going through writing this book, I had more motivations that improved my writing so please be patient. Thank you!

Xx- huntress_banshee