Almas pov
I know it for sure now; I’m going insane.
I am.
I can feel him. Everywhere around me, in my room and in my bed, all over me, and it’s the best feeling in the world at the same time as it breaks my heart, making me want to cry hard like I haven’t been doing that for the last three days.
I told mom I was sick, and she believed me. I’m not one to fake being sick, but I can’t stand to be around him, not after what happened the first night… when I did it, I sucked his d**k, and I liked it, no, I loved it.
I groaned and wanted to die. I knew that today, I had to go down, put on my brave face and meet my brother and his mate that wasn’t his mate because that was me. Fudge!
I get dressed, not wanting to shower because I don’t want to lose whatever I knew was him that was all over me. I know it's so stupid, and it’s probably just my mind yearning for something that would never happen. My mate held me close just as he did in my dream; it was amazing.
I felt like the worst daughter in the world feeling that way against her brother, but I couldn't help it. I craved him, like every second of my life was about how I could get to see, touch, and make him happy…. I was just as afraid as I was excited to finally see him again.
I had been thinking about how to solve this mess, but no matter what I thought, someone would get hurt. I didn’t want to risk my family; they were my whole life and world.
I can’t let them down by telling them Santiago is my mate.
I just can’t.
So, my plan is to ride out the storm. Santiago had already chosen another girl, so it shouldn’t take too long for him to reject me or mark her, snapping the mate bond between us. I could find a second chance, mate, just like my parents.
I make my hair messy bun and put on a halter neck and shorts. I look at myself. I’m so different from that girl he has taken as his chosen mate, Christy…. I frown at the thought of that girl. She is older than me, maybe more his age, and she is freaking beautiful!
Unlike me, bland and white like he said so many times before leaving for college, I never used to give Santiago’s words much thought. He always was a bastard…. but now, when I can see what he means with that dark beauty he has chosen, I get why he doesn’t want me. I am nothing special, pretending to be something I’m not.
My phone goes off, making me snap my eyes away from the mirror, and I see that it's Rosa, and she wants to talk to me. I guess it’s time to see what went down between her and Franco. I have been so busy with self-pity that I haven’t even replied to tell her I was sick.
She wants to meet up, but I can’t stand being over at her place, where I know TJ is her older brother, Santiago’s best friend, and his future Beta. I roll my eyes; that guy is lucky he’s big and powerful because he’s not the most brilliant tool in the shed.
We agree to meet at the beach. I stuff my bikini down my bag, not bothering to change right now, when I walk downstairs, hoping to avoid everyone.
“Alma, come and eat.” My mom says it like a command because that’s what it is, not a question. She never messed around about that part, something I wonder why she was so obsessed over food; she was skinny, but I wasn’t. I didn’t need to keep stuffing my face like she believed I did when it was clear that I would need a new wardrobe if she didn’t stop it.
I sight when I stop by the door, I really don’t want to stay or eat, but mom will sense something is wrong if I’m not getting in there and playing my part.
Freaking awesome.
The same smell that I’ve been having all over me since I woke up is hitting me like a ton of brick when I can’t resist staring at the lovey-dovey couple sitting over by the counter feeding each other, making me sick to my stomach, like I’m really wanting to throw up right now.
I sit down, defeated. My eyes were on the counter, shoulders slouched. I want to die right now hearing my mate's laughter and his girlfriend's laughter, sounding like they are having the time of their life just a few feet away from me.
“Still feeling sick, honey?” mom feels my forehead standing on the other side of the counter when I smile at her concern. It’s all I can muster right now, being so close to a mate I can never have. I don’t even have the strength to look at him, so I avoid his glances that he thinks I can’t see. Just like I’m going to do until he marks that stupid girl whose giggling is making me even crazier jealous!
“I’m meeting Rosa. I will get something on the way.” I push away the plate, knowing that all the alarms are going off in my mom’s world right now, and she will call dad as soon as I get out the door, but I don’t care. I need to get the hell out of here, away from him!
I dart out the door before anyone can stop me. Not mom, not him, or anyone else trying to stop me from getting out of the house, that’s for sure.
I walk down to the beach, headphones in, and head down. I want to make it there and get away from those dark eyes driving me crazy when I’m around him. I don’t get it? Why was I the only one that was suffering? He seemed fine and happy being a bastard with his fake mate, and I was alone and crying? Was there something wrong with our mate bond? Was it because we were siblings? Maybe this was the Goddess's punishment for being mates at all? I made a slight sniffle that I pushed away. I didn’t want to cry anymore. Not over him since it was pointless. We were never going to be mates. Never.
The honking almost makes me have a freaking heart attack when I scream, frightened as hell, only to hear the beautiful laughter of the only person I don’t want to see right now.
Santiago.
He is staring at me, watching me from head to toe, and I can tell he is thinking of ways to make me suffer. I know It from that glimmer in his dark eyes, not even trying to hide that he wants to do things with me that makes me start to sweat just from imagining it in my head.
He is wearing a sleeveless jersey. It makes my eyes almost pop out from seeing those tanned, muscular arms flexing in the sunlight and part of his abs where it goes down low in the sides. I gulp; it’s like he is toying with me, knowing exactly how attractive I find him, even without showing off his rock-hard body.
He grins when he notices my eyes following his body making me all hot and bothered. Dammit!
I want to keep walking, but I can't; he’s holding me, hostage with his eyes. Pinning me down with those dark, mysterious oceans that come out when he pushes his black, slightly wavy hair to the back of his head. I gulp again, seeing him doing that movement showing more of his body. Oh my, is he packing some nice abs underneath that jersey.
“Hello, Alma.” His deep, dark voice says the same thing he did to me just a few days ago, but it’s not cold and hard this time. It's more cunning and exciting, like he can’t wait to get his hands on me than the last time, making me even more nervous; why was this happening to me?!
“Oh, hi, Alma! we heard that you were going to the beach, and Saint here told me he would finally show me around the area since we were mates.” I almost choke on Christy’s last words as she smiles at me, happily ignorant that I know she’s lying; she is not his mate. I am!
The thought makes me jealous again, and I can’t help it. I hate myself so much, but I get angry. I want to tell Christy to get the f**k away from my mate, but I can’t…. I can’t.
So, I give them a small smile, which is not even a good fake. I don’t have the strength or the ambition to pretend to like the girl stealing my mate before my eyes, brother or not.
“Who told you I was going to the beach, I mean?!” I sound accusing, I don’t want to be around them, and suddenly, it feels like they are following me!?
“TJ.” Santiago gives me a smirk like he knows what he’s doing. I curse under my breath, making his thick eyebrows rise in surprise, and laughter fills his incredible eyes at seeing me being unusually rude and upset.
“Yeah, TJ is your best friend’s brother, right? Omg, I can’t even get how fun it must have been growing up here, you all together playing as pups!” Christy gives me a trying smile, but I’m not feeling her and snort back at her dying smile. What the hell would she know about Santiago and me growing up here?? she can go drown herself in the ocean when they get there!
I hear a growl from my mate telling me he doesn’t appreciate me being rude to his girlfriend, but I don’t care! Honestly, if I weren’t raised better, I would scratch her face, even without my wolf!
“Yeah, whatever you say… I’m going.” I don’t wait for them to reply to me, snapping them off. I walk faster, knowing it's useless since they are driving. When the black car cuts me off with a roar of the engine, I look up at Santiago. He is pissed and clenches his jaw over and over while staring at me with those demanding, angry eyes when gripping the steering wheel too hard.
“Get the f**k inside the car, Alma; I’m not telling you again!” His voice is raw and demanding, and I bend to it. I hate myself for it, but I get in, not even protesting in the back seat, and stare at my flip-flops before he takes off again, the engine roaring like crazy in the older car that he seemed to have gotten when he was away.
Nobody said a word, not me, that had popped my headphones back in, trying not to take deep breaths in the small containment that had my mate's smell in it, making it so damn hard not to stretch out and touch his nape that I was staring at being seated right behind him.
If I could just… I had already reached out with my fingers touching Santiago's nape when I realized what had happened and snatched back my hand as it had burned me. I felt the brakes being stepped on, and I got yanked forward hard. Thank Goddess, I had my seat belt on! Otherwise, I would have been dead with the way Santiago was driving!
He turned around and stared at me, he was angry again, and I made myself smaller; I didn’t mean to do it! I just wanted to touch him; that was it!
I wanted to cry, right here in the car, at how he was staring at me with such hatred that I wanted to die, my heart being torn apart from earning my mate’s hatred again, from just wanting to touch him.
“What happened?!” Christy hadn’t seen my fingers making their way through his hair, making me want to keep doing it before I realized what I had done!
“Get out!” I gasped at his stern dominating voice; he was throwing me out?? He was the one that made me get into this stupid car in the first place!? I felt the rage burning me up when I hissed at him and got out, making Christy flinch from me slamming the door as hard as I could before bolting off between the houses where I knew he couldn’t drive after me seeing my rage when I took off running.
I didn’t even get that far, just past three houses and into a small patch of brambles, when I felt my body being snatched back, just like I had done in the car. I turned around, staring at my culprit with his hand around my wrist, locking me in so that I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to.
“Don’t you ever fuckin touch me in front of Christy like that ever again, or I’m going to make you regret it!” His grip around my wrist was tightening, and I whimpered from the pain that made in realize what he was doing and let me go instantly. I held my wrist, which still was hurting. I was going to get a bruise; what the hell was he doing, grabbing me like I was some damn toy he could throw around!?
“So, don’t touch you in front of her but suck your d**k when nobody’s around?!” I was so angry, right now! I know he had followed me and made me get into his car! Then he had the nerve to be mad at me for touching him all innocent in the back of his head in front of his girlfriend!? I spat the word at his face. I wasn’t going to take this anymore! I thought I could, but as soon as I was around him, I couldn’t trust myself to be logical or even behave; I was a mess!
He seemed to be caught off guard for a few seconds having deep regret in his eyes like he didn’t know how to answer before he got a calm, almost sinister smile upon that handsome face with a jawline to die for, the tanned skin that made him, even more, look like a bronze statue towering over me with his arms crossed over his chest.
“That's right, babe, you can’t touch me when she is around, and don’t tell me that you hated sucking my d**k. You loved it like the slut you are!” His voice was husky now, and I gasped when he just insulted me and then pressed my body against his and attacked my neck from nowhere, starting to kiss me, licking my skin hot and slow. I moaned out loud without being able to help it. My body started burning up, squeezing my thighs hard together. He was going to kill me!
I was clinging back onto his neck with my arms trying to hold on to him, not wanting to let go from the way his warm tongue was swirling me and teeth nipping my skin; my head felt heavy when I just leaned it to the side showing off my neck more, whatever he wanted to do to me, I would let him do whatever he wanted when my core was beating hard, and I already was lost in the haze that was over us.
Then from nowhere, just when I was about to feel his fangs push inside me, breaking my skin, he pushed me off, swearing like this was not how he had planned. None of us were.
I was sitting on the ground, confused. My breath was uneven; I took deep gasps trembling all over my body when I looked up at the guy who seemed to be as frustrated and turned on as I was; hell,, I didn’t even care anymore. I wanted him, all of him!
“She’s not around right now, so what the hell is stopping you?!” I didn’t even know I dared to say those words; they were forbidden, and all of him was. Still, I wanted him like I never wanted anyone else in my life.
Santiago just looked up from where he was standing, still shaking like me and holding his hands on his thighs, panting like he had been running for miles. He was just as surprised as me to hear me say the words cross my lips, longing, forbidden.
“Not right now, babe, tonight.” He just gave me a wink and a smile that made me all wet from the promises he was making me. s**t, I was so going to regret this when he let out a small chuckle stumbling away from me, still sitting on my butt in the brambles. Still panting when I heard the car drive away, and I got up, bastard!
I pushed my hair back and tried to ignore my panties, already soaked from his hands on me. This was so freaking wrong, so why did I love every part of it?!
I walked, cursing the last part, to the beach, Rosa sent me a dm to meet me by the cubicles, and I went inside and switched to my bikini while waiting for her. It was blue and unfortunately too small for me, really. Mom was force-feeding me all the time, making everything bigger on me, including my boobs and hips, well, as I said, everything. I looked at myself. I wasn’t like fat, but I wasn’t fit either; everything jiggled too much to be completely comfortable. I made a sigh. Mom needed to stop acting like I was a tiny pup that couldn’t take care of herself. I was eighteen!
“I bet Santiago likes it….” I whispered it and blushed, nobody heard it, and still, I turned around, afraid someone would have listened to my secret thoughts about my older brother.
I pulled my hair up in a loose ponytail, saw that Rosa was there, and walked out; usually, I wasn’t this confident walking around half-naked, but this was the beach, and everyone else looked just like me. I caught a couple of guys staring at me, giving me a big grin. I turned my head away, they looked good, but they didn’t have those deep dark ocean eyes I had been drowning in since he came home again.
I already saw her standing on the beach. She had a bright pink bikini making it hard for me to miss her. She was the one with the confidence of us two.
She didn’t look happy when I walked over the hot sand, glad I brought my sandals with me as she lowered her sunglasses, gazing at me from head to toe, I always wore a dress or something over my bikini, but after the way Santiago had been eyeing me, I felt braver than ever.
“Look at this puta; she thinks she’s all grown up since she turned eighteen.” She giggled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, and I tried to ignore the hurtful feeling in my stomach. Did she call me a slut? She dressed like this all the time!?
“Look, Rosa…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that Franco was going to say that… he was being an asshole. I hope you didn’t make TJ kill him? I regret saying the last word when her pretty dark eye narrows, and she looks even more offended like I was the one that rejected her and not Franco.
“Whatever, I told you he is a puto….” She mumbles that last part that I can’t hear when I get a sad look on my face. I feel so freaking bad for all of this; like this is all my fault somehow, I just wanted my best friends back, that was all.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find him. I hope he is in this pack so we stay friends.” I rattle my bracelet that we made for each other in fifth grade. She has hers in a box, but I wear mine; still, she and Franco have been my best friends for so long, and I don’t want to lose either of them.
She gives me the faintest smile when I keep rattling the bracelet. She finally laughs when I sit down next to her, and I feel the deep dark worry I have in my chest lighten up just the slightest of her maybe about to forgive me for what happened at my gathering.
“You been eighteen for five days, Alma, and I been for two months. I don’t think I have a mate anymore… at least not one around this part of the county…. I’m always going to be a f*****g Omega, and that’s it….” She seems sad again when I wrap my arm around her shoulders and sigh. I wish I hadn’t found mine.
“Don’t say that just because Frank was an ass… he knows better…. let’s just go cool off….” I help her when she still whines at me, and we run into the water hand in hand, laughing and screaming like small pups when I let go and dive right into the ocean.
My eyes are closed when I open them up. The black bottom doesn’t show me anything, just darkness when the contours are starting to shift, and I can see everything. I blink a few times, and it’s like it's broad daylight on the sandy banks far below me.
I close my eyes again and swim to the surface, where I see Rosa is already swimming toward the shoreline. My heart stops when I see why, Santiago.
He is standing there on the beach, pack members around him, talking with TJ and… Christy… this is a human beach too. I don’t want to tell mom and dad that Santiago has brought trouble upon the pack, especially on human territory, when I start to swim fast towards the shore under the water. I’m just as surprised when I walk out before Rosa, that is coming up behind me, and all eyes snap on me when Jack, one of our pack members, calls out my mate's attention and stares at me.
The whole world stands still for what seems to be forever, the way his eyes are making their way all over me. He is already turned on, and I blush to see his d**k is pitching a freaking tent in those big trunks. I quickly look away, shy from seeing it even if I’ve done something far worse than look at it.
“How the hell did you come up from the water before me?!” Rosa’s voice is drowned out by Santiago’s handsome face that stares at me before he growls when I frown, still at the shoreline, just drying myself off; what the hell was his problem anyway? This was a human beach, and he knew that! I started walking up the sand when he suddenly grabbed TJ by the shirt he was wearing, unlike the rest of the pack guys wanting to show off their bodies to drooling human girls.
“What the f**k is that stupid brother of yours doing?!” Rosa was behind me when we started sprinting the last part to where everyone was staring at Santiago, ready to shift.
I followed my instinct and put my hand on his arm, feeling the complex pulsation of tingles that sparkled between us when he dro go of his best friend right away. He was staring at me like he was struck by lightning when I felt his heart rate going slower. I make a smile that he returns; it's big and beautiful, making me not care that everyone around us can see that he doesn’t hate me. I know I don’t hate him; he is my mate.
I remember dad calling him Santo as a pup before they started to fight, so I said to him when he made another grin towards me like he could remember it too. He was my Santo; we belonged together!
Screw his fake mate! I couldn’t stay away. I knew that… I just needed to make mom and dad understand…. I didn’t know how? I was biting my lips hearing TJ talk, he hadn’t said a word about the fight with Franco, so I guess he was alive, but he hadn’t shown his face since the gathering, and I had been too busy to care. I hoped he would come to the beach just like the rest of the pack tonight, so I knew that he was okay.
Santiago makes a joke when Rosa walks off with TJ, still cursing my i***t mate/brother; whatever he was when I say what I feel inside, I’m no longer going to hide it when we are alone.
“I don’t know…. All I know is that I need you….” I say the words knowing that there is no going back anymore. This is real, and he knows it too, and I’m sick of fighting it; either he marks Christy or me. That’s just how it’s going to be... He doesn’t answer that, looks at me with his dark, beautiful eyes, and walks off like he has a lot to think about, him and me both; when I sit down next to Rosa after getting my sundress, this was going to be a long day…