Monster's mate

Part VII

Love and hate

How much more are we supposed to tolerate

Can't you see there's more to me than my mistakes

No more pain and no more shame and misery  

-Michael Kiwanuka- 

"How would you know her?" He asked but it was not really a question. It was my last chance to say something that could save me. 

"Cant you see?", I mumbled. My eyes start closing down. With last shreds of power I whispered: "I am her." 

I could feel his ruthless grip around my fading form. He knew I was dying under his hands yet he made no attempt to stop. I didn't fight or try to stop him. Neither were my eyes pleading for my life. That would be desperate move and I was not desperate. I was in love. In love with his hateful eyes that saw nothing of value in me. In his rough hands that were taking my life away from me I felt loved. It was as, if my body was made only for him to shut it down. 

Then he stopped and I quickly gasped for the air that painfully entered my airway system. I looked at him and couldn't understand why he stopped. I could see that my face, eyes and body held no effect on him. Nothing on me didn't leave special impression on him. Even worse, I could see that he didn't believe me. Not for a second. So why am I spared? Am I? 

"Everyone out!" He raised his voice and I shivered. He didn't need to say it twice. 

Everyone from the room start withdrawing and disappearing. My whole body never stopped shivering as I knew that what awaits me is worse than death. I took small step aside and with the shrimp of hope looked at the exit where everyone was headed. As I took another, bigger one I saw him shaking his head while making disapproving sound. It was similar sound, as when scolding the child and It was enough to make me stop in my track. 

"Master, excuse me but what to do with rest of the girls?" One of the alpha asked and earned few stares from the other pack members.

I hoped this interruption would make him shift his attention from me to the other alpha but not for a second did he loose me out of his eyesight. 

"Selest is dead. It is only fair for them to die too."

 He said a bit irritated for a need to waste his breathe on something so obvious. Even as he commanded their death his eyes stayed focused on my weak form. It almost felt, as if he was commanding mine death, instead of theirs.   

When the room cleared and there were only me and him left I felt even more uncomfortable. I could hear my own heartbeat. 

"Is that so?"  His eyes were more focused than ever. Mockingly he observed me as his body circled around my shaking one. 

"You are her?" He continued to mock me with his contemptuous voice

I didn't dare to respond since it clearly wasn't meant for me to answer. Then he stopped moving and silence spread faster than my fear. He was behind me and I could feel his hot breath on my left cheek. 

"I know what you are." He wickedly whispered in my ear and inhaled smell on my neck.  

"You smell like a virgin." His voice regained a mockery tone with open despise. 

"Virgins have a special smell." He paused before continuing. "Smell of an unopened tin that has expired." 

He is toying with me. I could feel his eyes on my back as he spoke: "Disgusting but special." 

With those words he grabbed my neck, painfully pressing my carotid artery. 

"Tell me love, If you indeed are her, why do you smell like rotten food?" 

I tried to say something in defense but I couldn't breathe let alone speak. Then I realized he doesn't want me to speak. He wants me to suffer. 

With his other hand he ripped my jeans like their were made of paper. My heartbeat raised and panic overwhelmed my body. I start loosing balance but his hands prevented me from falling down. 

"Roy, please stop." I managed to blurt out. "I don't know why I smell like one when I am not." 

He could hear doubt in my voice. He made me doubt myself. Am I really his sister or did the fear of dying got the better of me? Is this fantasy of me and him being family so powerful that I lost the grip of what is real? What If I am not her?   

"If that is right love, then you shouldn't bleed when I thrust my fingers inside you."  His voice held no compassion, no consolation.  

No, no, no. Please don't. Not like this. 

For the first time I start pushing him from myself but it only resulted in tightening his grip around my waist. 

"Tell the truth love and I end this now." He gave me a chance to deny our relation and be given quick death.

I stayed quiet. Then I felt it. His middle finger, roughly and insensitively entered my v****a. I never felt such pain. I yelped and this time he trusted two fingers. 

"Roy stop!" I screamed with mixture of pain and fear. 

It only resulted in him being more vigorous. He start f*****g me with his fingers hared and faster. But the blood never came.  

"You are NOT HER!" He hissed, not for a moment slowing his tempo.

 I stopped fighting him and instead threw my  head backwards to look at him. His face was deformed with pained expression. With each thrust his fingers made, he doubted his judgement about my identity more and more. Ironically that only resulted in him being more cruel. By now he was finger f*****g me so fast that I lost the sense of him leaving and entering me. It only felt like knife that was endlessly spinning around and ripping me inside out.  Yet, what hurt the most was his pain. The same pain that I saw on his face when he was only a helpless child watching me being raped. Now he was bigger, stronger and crueler. But still as helpless as then. 

He looked at me watching him and for the first time I knew he saw the true me. Me as a fragile child he used to call his sister. Tears start forming in his eyes and I knew that he knows. It is me. There is no doubt. Yet, his fingers still didn't stop with ripping my insides. Then I realized. He is afraid to stop. It would mean admitting my true identity. Who I am and what I am to him. What he did to me. And how could he deal with that? 

  With the arm I reached his face. He didn't flinch or try to stop me. I start caressing his face, brushing away his tears. 

"It is okay brother. You can stop now. It is okay now." 

"