Basorexia

Officially Unofficial.

*Warning of sexy time is this chapter! If you choose to skip to the next chapter, you will not miss any important changes.

His lips against mine made my whole body stop; it stopped the crying, the pain, and the struggle stop. The world around me faded away and time froze. I knew this wasn't the time for this, but my hot tear-stained cheeks in his cool hands made me feel like this was alright. With everything the world was stealing from me, it was alright for me to have this moment of selfishness. I felt as if a weight was off my chest, and I could finally breathe, I could take a deep breath my body was aching for. My hands slowly grasped onto his blonde locks. The tug seemed to turn him on even more. He pulled away slowly. Both of our eyes were flooded with tears that had yet to spill over. We were both in pain. We were both hurt. Slowly, I pulled him back towards me, pressing my lips against his.

This was different from any kiss I had ever felt before, any kiss I shared with Levi, with anyone... this one had feelings. I gasped as he lifted me weightlessly and carried me away. My legs wrapped around his hips, continuing to slowly move my lips against his. I didn't open my eyes while he walked. At times one hand or both of his hands would leave me to open doors. Softly he laid onto his bed, pushing his thumb across my damp cheeks. It wasn’t hard and fast like every other time I had s*x, this had meaning. I was still out of breath and my heart was racing like before. We both kicked off our shoes, staring at one another. I watched as he climbed over me, pulling off his long sleeve shirt. My hand slowly moved up his chest, feeling the chiseled rock-like muscles under my fingers. His hand grasped on my wrist, kissing my hand. He slowly pulled off my hoodie, leaving a soft peck on my lips every time he could.

“If you want to stop it’s okay” he spoke softly, reassuring me. I gave a simple smile, the fact that he had told me meant a lot to me. I shook my head, I wanted him to go on. I wanted this between us. I wanted to feel what love felt like. He gave me a soft smile in return, connecting our lips. We both grinned while we kissed, letting out a quiet laugh. Suddenly, I felt him where I craved him most. His fingers danced softly over the hill in my jeans. I bit my lip, feeling the relief of pressure as he pulled down my jeans. He raised his eyebrow, realizing I hadn’t been wearing anything under it. A hot blush rushed to my cheeks; I was sure this would come back to bite me later.

I gasped, feeling his large hand rub around my sensitive skin. My head fell to the side in a silent moan, gripping onto the pillow besides me as I felt his warm tongue touch me. "Oh my god." I breathed out, reaching my hand into his blonde locks. I didn't know how much Tyler knew or how experienced he was with boys. Everyone knew his bisexual sexuality, but he had never publicly walked around with any other boys. Seeing him even holding a hand with a girl was surprising enough. Part of me didn't want to know exactly how much experience he had, but the other felt like I needed to know in order to know what to expect. His lips danced around my hip bones as his hand continued to message me and the other supported his weight. He left a dark purple mark just to the right of my belly button.

"I've wanted to see you under me for so long" he groaned, his voice was deeper and more controlling than it had ever heard.

"Ty-" I whined under him, beginning to thrust my hips towards him. He licked his lips as his eyes traveled over my body. Moving onto his knees while still over me I watched as his hand other hand disappeared down his own jeans. I watched as his hand aggressively moved under the rough fabric. The sight made my heart pound and my skin tingle. I wanted to see him, I didn't want to be the only one fully on display, though deep down a part of me liked it. I couldn't take it anymore. Quickly I leaned up, grabbing his face and pulling him down to kiss me. My whimpers got louder as I still tried to fight back the moans deep within me. A sharp stinging sensation slammed across my back thigh as Tyler's had swiped across my pale skin. "Don’t hold back, I want to hear you." He demanded before aggressively taking my lips in his. Loudly I let out a moan, grabbing his attention as if I didn’t have it all before.

My body began to shake with pleasure, my mouth hung open as I made no sound but a small cry. Releasing myself over Tyler's hand and onto myself. My eyes felt heavy as I struggled to keep them open through the pleasure and exhaustion. He was panting, sitting over me. He pulled his hand out of his jeans and grabbed my jaw. He gave me an aggressive kiss, demanding entrance. I easily granted it, not having the energy to fight him. A satisfied moan passed my lips, causing Tyler to give me one in return. Remembering I hadn't pleased him, my hand went to reach towards his jeans. He quickly grasped my wrist, tighter than I had expected him to. He let out a soft chuckle as he shook his head.

"Mayson. I much as I'd love-" he paused eyes roaming my lips and torso "to do more to you, trust me when I say you're not ready for that yet. Get some sleep I'll handle it" he said, pushing himself off the bed and wandering towards the bathroom. I watched as his tense back muscles flexed. He came back out once more with a wet rag, cleaning up the mess then disappearing towards the bathroom once more. He turned around, closing the door, but stopped just before it closed. He stared at me, his hand had slid back in his blue jeans, "One day" he growled before closing the door. I listened to the shower turn on and quickly drifted to sleep.

My eyes slowly blinked open, focusing on the room around me. The walls were all light grey, besides one that had red bricks. Different posters of soccer players and artists hung along the wall. One area was covered in polaroid photos. All showing images from either soccer practice or games. I hadn’t taken the moment to look around the room when I came in last night. Rolling over I looked at the tan blonde who laid on his back, looking as if he got his first good night sleep in years. Slowly, I attempted to move the sheets to climb out of the bed, but a strong arm stopped me, quickly pulling me against him. Looking over my shoulder I saw a fully awake Tyler.

“I was trying not to wake you.” I smiled at him.

He laughed, humming to me in understanding. His voice was deeper than normal, which surprised me a bit. I softly bit my lip, leaning up to give him a kiss. I was lying in Tyler Brooks bed... naked... kissing him. Happiness flooded over my body as I just enjoyed the moment. I felt as if when we opened that bedroom door, we were going to be forced to answer the world. We were going to have to act as though it had never happened, and I didn’t want that.

“So uh,” I spoke, pulling back to stare at him. “What now?”

He looked at me confused, raising an eyebrow as he always did. “What do you mean?”

“Well, um.” I sighed, sitting up and turning from him. I grabbed my sweatshirt from the floor before I continued. “Since we uh, you know. I just didn’t know if you wanted to act like nothing happened.” I tried to shrug off as if it was nothing. As if there wasn’t a part inside of me screaming, I wanted this.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, sitting up behind me.

I shook my head, “No, but uh I know you have an image and stuff.” I said standing, crossing my arms around me. The hoodie was large enough to drop onto my thighs, hiding all my goods. The bedhead boy stared at me; his lips curved into a smile.

“Mayson,” he said, standing at his feet. “Believe me I want you, but there's a lot going on in your life right now so... how about we keep this without labeling it?” he suggested. A large smile spread across my face, contagious onto his.

“Yeah, I- I'd like that” I nodded.

Tyler was right, as much as I wanted this with him, it didn’t need a title just yet. It wasn’t just a friend with benefits offer, it was doing what we felt like when we felt like, but not having to live up to the expectations of a relationship. Tyler grinned, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on my lips. “You should probably go get dressed before Hunter catches a glance of you in here.” The idea made all the color rush out of my face. I quickly grabbed my jeans and rushed out of the room and across the halls. I leaned around corners, ensuring I wouldn’t bump into him before finally making it to my room. As I closed the door I stood there for a moment, taking everything in before jumping onto the bed and screaming into the sheets in joy.

Jayson stayed at the hospital to start treatment and get the care he needed. My father had finally gotten around to his phone and sent his girlfriend to stay with Jayson since he still had to work. I was happy that he would have at least one familiar face while he went through treatment. I got updates daily about how he was doing from his nurses. They told me what medications he was taking, how he was eating, and how sick he was that day. The updates helped me feel like I was closer to him through all of it. We would facetime every day and weekly we would have a Friday night movie-night where we watched the same movie together on facetime.

Tyler and I kept our ‘special’ relationship going. For the first few weeks it was a little awkward, I had to get used to Tyler’s touch. He was still the all-popular, college star soccer player and heavily sought-after Brooks brother. Whenever I would catch a glance of us in the mirror, I felt as if I had imagined it. It was still so unreal to see. At school it was more uncommon for us to be together because of our schedules. We didn’t have the same classes so I would rarely see him until after school, we even had separate lunch periods. When I did my runs the same days as his practice, I would try not to get too distracted, but it was hard. Every time I looked; I would see him looking back at me if he wasn’t chasing a ball around.

The hardest time was when we were at the house with Hunter. He made the air uncomfortable for me and I knew that Tyler noticed. Tyler would still hold my hand or sit close to me with him around, but I couldn’t fully commit to Tyler when I felt Hunter’s eyes burning into me. I couldn’t tell if he hated me or hated that Tyler was with me. It was very possible he could hate both too.

I leaned against the chain fence that surrounded the soccer field. It was the first game of the season for Tyler. They were playing against one of their rivals for the very first game. I didn’t understand much about how soccer worked, I knew more about football from my grandfather, always watching it and talking about the different plays. When it came to soccer, all I knew was to kick the ball in the goal. Tyler was one of the best players on the team. He was amazingly fast and could steal the ball from under the feet of other players more than any other player in the league.

The entire game my eyes were on Tyler, watching him run across the field, score goals, and steal the ball. Every so often, he would find me in the crowd and send me a smile and a wave. I could hear the girls around me argue over who he was waving towards. I wore a hoodie with the hot Cheeto print all over it. I kept my hood up so I was less likely to be recognized by anyone around. Glancing across the field I saw Hunter in a large group who wore the football team jerseys. We locked eyes for a short moment, and I thought back to what Tyler had told me. He had a straight face as we watched each other, then took another sip from his cup. I showed him a soft smile although he gave nothing back. Since the day we came back from the airport, Hunter and I have had even less conversation than we did before. It was more just exchanged looks before he would leave the room.

I laughed watching Tyler slide across the field on his knees, the soft rain sprinkling down on him. He pulled off his shirt and screamed in joy as the buzzer sounded for the end of the game. They had won by ten points over the opponents. The team rushed the field, jumping on top of one another. Everyone on the bleachers erupted in celebration. Tyler got to his feet, chanting with everyone their team motto. His eyes locked on me, and he blew me a kiss. I laughed softly, watching as they all rushed back into locker room. I swung the keys around my finger, I would go heat up the car and Tyler would meet me in there.

T Y L E R

I smiled, looking at the photo of Hunter, Hope, and I that I had taped to the back wall of my locker before shutting it closed. Everyone else had already left the locker room heading to a victory afterparty. I would ask Mayson if he wanted to go when I got in the car. I pulled my phone out of my basketball shorts noticing a message from Mayson. It was a short GIF of someone cheering. A smile crossed my lips, as I clicked my phone off and threw my duffle bag over my shoulder I heard a loud slam.

“Hello?” I called out loudly, hearing my own voice echo around the Lockeroom. I listened to footsteps grow louder, thudding against the tile floor. I softly placed my bag on the floor, unsure of who was about to come around the corner. I held my breath, slowly rolling my hands into fists ready for whatever was about to come.

Suddenly, Hunter came around the corner leaning up against the red lockers. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Jesus, H. Say something next time.” I told him, showing a smile.

“Congrats on the game.” he nodded towards me, taking some steps in my direction.

“Oh uh, yeah thanks.” I watched as he came closer, his large arms crossing over his chest.

“So, you’re going to the party, right?” he asked with a smirk on his lips.

I shrugged, scratching the back of my neck. Hunter didn’t like my answer, dropping his arms and groaning in annoyance.

“Come on man, it’s a victory party. I want to go with my brother.” he said hitting my chest lightly, “Isn't the same without you.” I rolled my eyes knowing that wasn’t true. Hunter and I would go to parties together but it wasn’t like we stayed together. The majority of the time he would disappear the first thirty minutes and I’d have to find ways to entertain myself. “I have to ask Mayson.”

Hunter rolled his eyes, huffing loudly. “Tyler, you need to drop that kid. I get you feel bad for him, but it’s not good for you.” I stared at him, shocked at what he had just said about Mayson.

“What are you implying?” I asked him, warning him to tread lightly with his next words. “I’m trying to look out for you. You’re a big hit on the field and being with some twink isn’t good for your image.” He told me.

“Do not talk about him like that.” I warned him, stepping up to him.

“I’m telling you to drop the kid. He isn’t good for you.” Hunter said, but he meant it as a warning. It wasn’t caring, brotherly advice as it seemed. My hands shoved against Hunter’s chest, shoving him back. He stumbled over his feet, falling onto the ground. He quickly stood back up, grabbing my shirt and shoving me against the lockers. I groaned, feeling the sting of one of the locks jabbing into my back.

“What the hell is your problem?” I asked him, trying to shove him off me. “I don’t know if this is some homophobic type of s**t from you but knock it off.” Hunter was much stronger than me; I could fight him a bit, but not for long. He stared at me for a moment before releasing me. “Look it’s fine if you aren’t gay Hunter, but I am so you might as well get used to it before you lose me too.” I warned him.

He stared at me for a short moment, taking in what I said. He reeled his arm back then swung, connecting his fist to my cheek. I dropped to the floor. My cheek ached in pain. I could feel the burn from the imprint of his fist on my skin. I looked up to him, slowly standing to my feet. I knew why he had punched me. It was the first time I had mentioned Hope to him since the funeral. We never spoke of her since that night at the graveyard. When we walked off that grass, we left her name there. I could see Hunter was sorry, but he wouldn’t say it. He turned around and stormed out the Lockeroom, slamming the door behind him. Sighing, I pulled my phone out from my pocket and told Mayson I was on my way.