Essence of my life

Chapter 4

Jackie felt so restless. He was going to take Caitlyn out for dinner and he felt nervous. Where in the world did this nervousness come from? He was fine until he met this woman; being his gentlemanly self, making women beg for his attention. But this extremely beautiful woman who was working in front of him right now was making him question himself. Was he losing his abilities?

"Mr. Baxter, I have a few files which you need to go through," Emma stepped in, unaware that he was lost in his own world. After a moment of realising that he didn't even notice her, she cleared her throat rather loudly. Startled, he looked up at her.

"Yes, Emma?" he flashed the smile which women went crazy for.

Her breath hitched in her throat and he sighed in relief. Well, at least he knew that his charm didn't disappear and that he had the same effect on woman like he did before. Then why isn't the only woman he wanted, falling for him?

"S-sir, I need you to g-go through th-these files," she stuttered, completely flushed, making him smile. She was a young, pretty and energetic lady, who was dedicated in her work. But when it came to handling him, she failed the task miserably.

During the interviews for finding his secretary, he saw that nearly all the applied people were women and that they were a little too... err... flaunting. They were least interested in working but more in seducing him. Ever since the word came out from Jackie's father that Jackie was single and was ready to marry, he began getting flocked around by women even more. Even older women didn't mind doing that and it was a little too disturbing for him.

"Give me those," he said politely, taking them from his hand. "And yeah, Emma?"

She was so happy that he finally decided to shower her with his breathtaking smiles and making her breath hitch and cheeks fluster. He was just the perfect man she ever saw and getting his attention was something very great.

"Y-yes, sir?" she batted her eyelashes.

Women are all the same.

"Could you call Miss Mackarren to my office?" he asked.

Her happiness felt like it was crushed by a giant ice queen, and that ice queen being none other than Caitlyn Mackarren. She felt so small in front of her. Caitlyn's presence was all it took for Emma to feel like she was shrinking into a deep dark abyss. She had a powerful personality and men were undoubtedly attracted to her. Her colleagues drooled over Caitlyn and even Jackie made it very clear by his actions. She was stealing it all from her. Emma was the prettiest woman there until Caitlyn decided to drop out of nowhere and steal her title. And to top that off, she was not considered pretty, she was considered beautiful! She stole her job, her title and her boss' attention which meant a lot to her. Why did this have to happen to her?

"Yes, sir." Disappointment was clear in her face and she walked out of his cabin, to face the ice queen herself!

Emma walked into Caitlyn's cabin wordlessly and stood there waiting for Caitlyn to acknowledge her presence. But Caitlyn, being her usual uncaring self, didn't bother to look up and waste her time. She was not the one to start unnecessary conversations.

Realising that Emma's presence was not even given a damn by Caitlyn, she groaned in frustration, a little too loud for Caitlyn's annoyance and making her wince.

Why did she have to be so perfect?

"Miss Mackarren," she sounded defeated, "Mr. Baxter is calling for you," venom laced her tone and she immediately stormed off.

Emma was behaving a little weird today and Caitlyn seemed to notice. But her concern right now was what Jackie wanted from her. And to think about dinner tonight! If it was going to be him and her alone, that meant that there were more chances of him stepping into her comfort zone. She really had to be cautious!

"Mr. Baxter, you called for me?"

Act cool, Jackie. She is only your secretary, he mentally scolded himself. "Yes, I needed you to go through these files," he handed those to her, eyeing her graceful hands.

"Is that it, sir?"

"And today's dinner," he quickly stated, making her a little nervous, "are you ready?"

"Of course," her voice wavered from its usual iciness and he seemed to notice that just in time.

Maybe, just maybe, he was melting her ice down?

Time seemed to pass by really very slow to Jackie, filling him with anxiety he never felt before. His highschool self was a lot more calmer than he was today! What is the big deal in taking his secretary on a dinner to discuss some business? But to him, it was a big deal! He felt whipped!

It was nearing six in the evening when Jackie finally pushed himself out of his chair to Caitlyn's cabin.

"Caitlyn?" he called her and her head snapped up so fast that his heartbeat seemed to rise.

"Yes, sir?" she stood up, showing herself from behind her desk. And god! Did she grow even more attractive in a few hours span?

"Let's go," he said and she immediately began packing her stuff into her oh-so-sophisticated bag.

He smiled to himself, he was making her rush!

"Caitlyn, it's okay not to rush," he smiled and she looked down, a little pink on her cheeks.

Oh god! Is she embarrassed? If she is, then he completely loved it! How can such a small action of hers stir so much excitement in him?

He waited outside her cabin, tapping his foot on the ground, giving her space to set herself before she came out.

Caitlyn was a little grateful that he let her some space to set herself. He had caught her off guard and saw her rush things, which was definitely a little embarrassing to say so herself. Where is her cool and collected self when she needed it?

She took deep breaths to calm herself and stepped out. Jackie tapped his foot impatiently as he stared off into empty space. He really looked handsome with his hair falling over his eyes as he looked down, the good amount of stubble growing on his well defined jaw. Was she checking him out? God, why is she acting so strange? It is just a dinner! An official dinner and nothing else!

"Mr. Baxter?" she called, startling him out of his trance. He looked up and flashed a dazzling smile which made her heart go out in a frenzy. She didn't show it though, because she didn't need him to see how his mere smile affected her.

"Let's go?" he asked and she nodded.

They came down to their cars and Jackie opened his passenger door for her and closed it when she tucked herself in. He got in and revved up his car, hitting the roads.

He planned a beautiful dinner for them. An Italian place where the food was exquisite. But he wondered; did she like Italian?

"I was wondering if you liked Italian, Caitlyn," he asked.

Oh, how she loved Italian! Whenever she went to an Italian restaurant, she always treated herself with spaghetti. That just made her day!

"I do, sir."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive sir," she nodded.

Ah, well, his guess was brilliant! At least she will be happy eating her favourite food even if things turn awkward.

Little did Caitlyn know that she was going to a top Italian hotel that day! They stopped in front of the castle-like restaurant and her jaw dropped. This man had some serious money to blow! She looked at Jackie and caught him staring at her with an amused expression.

"If you are done sight seeing, maybe we can proceed inside?" he smirked.

He caught her ogling at the restaurant and that was so embarrassing! First, in the office and now, here. Of course, she has been to such kind of places before, but that was only when they had business meetings. Never had she ever been taken to such a place all alone.

She could only nod as Jackie lead her the way. The lighting was dim and pleasant, light music with mouth watering aroma around them. The waiter came to them and Caitlyn ordered her long awaited spaghetti.

"You like spaghetti?" Jackie asked.

"Wouldn't be ordering it if I didn't, sir," she replied calmly.

She brushed him off! Again! Oh, how he wish he knew what to do to make her smile!

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about, sir?" she cut in, not even wanting to waste a single minute.

"I would tell that, but first, I need you to do me a favour."

"A favour?"

"Stop calling me sir in here. It is a little disturbing in this atmosphere, you know? Moreover, people are looking at us."

"But you are my boss-"

"Not here."

"But we came here to talk business!"

"Can't you just pretend?" he asked.

"Well, if you say so. But what do I call you?"

"For starters, why not call me by my name?" he smirked, "Jackie."

"Jackie," she said more to herself. It felt weird saying his name out loud because all she ever called him was sir or in rare cases, Mr. Baxter. She has seen no one in the office call him Jackie. So being the first one to call him so, it felt strange, almost alien to her.

"Yes, Jackie," he repeated, that smirk still plastered on his face.

"So, Jackie," she frowned saying his name. Her face looked like she tasted something strange, "what did you want to talk about?"

This woman seriously knew her priorities! Never once did she divert herself from her motive of why she came here. But when she called him Jackie, he felt excitement surging through his body. It was so good that he almost felt warm. Her calling his name meant her being a step closer to him and that mere thought made him grin like never before.

They spoke a lot about their business in the dinner. But the most happiest thing for Jackie was having Caitlyn talk to him. He saw her eat gracefully and talk smoothly to him. The best part in this dinner was he got Caitlyn's undivided attention all to himself. But what could he do to get herself talk to him about herself than the business, he didn't know. How he had to make her smile, he didn't know. Oh, could anyone be more miserable than he was right now?

"So, I have to go through those papers tonight?" he asked with a hint of annoyance. He didn't want to go to sleep thinking about some papers! He wanted to doze off with memories of this dinner. Memories of Caitlyn! He felt so at ease with her and could talk to her freely. He didn't have to put up his gentlemanly act in front of her or use his charms on her because he knew that she wasn't gonna fall for it. The last time he tried them all on her, she didn't even acknowledge him and he knew that he failed miserably.

"Yes, Jackie," she said. She had gotten used to calling him by his name now and it felt too familiar. Never in her life had she called a person's name these many times before in a short span of time! She noticed many changes in him during the dinner and all of the things she saw in him while at work were completely gone. He had another side of him which showed a normal man. A man who whined, instead of ordering, a man who laughed instead of giving her one of his polite smiles. And he even pouted! Was this man always like this while he was away from work? But she wondered, did he show this side to anyone else in his office or was she the only one?

"But that is so unfair!" he pouted. A small smile crept up Caitlyn's face and lord, wasn't she beautiful! He made her smile and never in his life did he feel that he made a greater achievement than this. It was his doing and she smiled because of him! He was so happy that his joy knew no boundaries.

"Life is unfair, Jackie," her smile faltered and suddenly a wave of sadness hit him. She looked sad and he didn't know why. Something had happened to her and that, he could bet on. The way that she said that life was unfair, he could see that she was thinking about something really sad. But what was it? He wanted to know and he wanted to make the pain go away from her. He wanted to console her and make things alright for her. But what was the reason that stole her beautiful smile away? Why was she so sad?

She dug in her bag to find those papers he had to go through but she didn't find them. But she remembered that she put them in a folder. But where was the folder? She didn't see it in her cabin as well today. Oh god! She forgot them at home? She knew that she had to hand him her papers but she forgot? Those papers were supposed to be printed by 10 in the morning and Jackie had to personally go through them to give his approval. What should she do now?

She looked troubled as she kept digging in her bag frantically. What was she looking for? Her troubled expression pained him and he couldn't help but ask her what happened.

"I think I forgot those papers back at home which you had to review," she said nervously. That's all? She looked troubled for that silly reason? He trusted her work so much that he could blindly sign it and approve it for further printing. But wait, did she say that she left those papers back at her place? That would mean that he has a solid reason to go to her place along with her and this time, he could actually go inside!

"Oh, that's perfectly fine!" he smiled, "I can pick those up from your place as I drop you back home. It's okay, relax," he said with a smug grin on his face.

She had given him a proper reason to invade her personal life this time and she couldn't help but curse herself. Why did she have to be so forgetful?

After finishing their dinner, they headed towards her place. She wanted to groan out loud for her stupidity. Her house was a mess. Boxes every where and she didn't even do her laundry. She was so sure that no one would come to her house that she left the dishes undone. She still had her weekend coming up where she scheduled all the cleaning stuff. What would Jackie think when he sees her place? It looked like a massive case of a tornado hit area!

Soon they were at her place, and Jackie was finding it difficult to hide his excitement. She was fidgeting with her lock to her matchbox like apartment and he stood behind her, watching her every movement. She opened it and turned to face him but stepped back as she found him standing too close for her comfort.

"My apartment is right now a mess. So, please don't mind it, sir," she apologised.

"Why are you calling me sir again?" he blurted out, ignoring what she had actually wanted to convey.

"Uh, well, we are out of the restaurant now," she tried to reason with him.

"But that doesn't mean that we are back in the office!" he whined, "please, Caitlyn, call me sir only in the office. Or else, what about this? You don't even have to call me sir! You can call me Jackie all the time!"

Was he being serious? No way was she calling him on a first name basis in the office! That would be so inappropriate!

"It's okay, Jackie. I will call you sir only at office. Alright?" she said in a soothing tone that Jackie felt like he was gonna flip out. She is an amazing woman and there is no denying to that!

"Alright," he said, wide eyed.

She lead him into her clumsy apartment and he then realised what she was talking about. It was messy, yes he would agree, but that just gave him a homely feeling. A feeling which his house never held.

"Um, Jackie, you could just make yourself comfortable on the chairs near the kitchen island as I search for the folder," she said rummaging through a few shelves.

"Sure," he said and sat down. From where he was, he could see her bed room clearly and it was super clean. Everything was in it's place and neatly tucked in. Guess she didn't like a messy bedroom. On top of her little fridge, he saw many CD's. He went through them all and found all metal songs. Looks like the classy woman has some extra ordinary taste in music! She looked everywhere but he found no photographs of her hanging on the walls. That was weird! Weren't all the women supposed to reminisce all their memories through their photographs? And he also saw a few notes stuck up to the fridge and they all read the pending donations to the orphanages. Did she do charity work?

"Caitlyn, you donate to orphanages?" he couldn't help but ask.

She was silent for a moment but then again, she spoke. "Yes, I do."

"That is a wonderful thing but, how did you get into making donations?"

I spent all my life in an orphanage, she thought.

"I thought that it was a nice thing to do. There are children out there who have nothing and are starving right now while we eat. So, I do as much as possible to help at least a few," she said, her face reflecting a few memories she recollected them. And he could say that they were definitely sad.

How much better can this woman become? She gives away half her salary to the orphanages? She had to be a goddess of some sort! All the women he had seen till date always complained about how their salary didn't even meet their cosmetic needs and this woman erased that fact in just a few minutes. Maybe there are a few people who he didn't know could exist.

"And, Jackie," she called, "here are your papers."

His time to leave had come but he didn't feel like leaving this amazing woman at all! How did he not come across this perfect woman all these years, he didn't know. He wanted to know more about her and wanted to see her smile and laugh. He wanted to know everything about her and see her open up to people. He wanted to melt her ice and see her bloom again. He would do it and he would make sure he did that.