A Man's Cold World

Sixteen

Sixteen

"What's with all this stuff?" Sabina asked Shaina dahil nadatnan niya itong naka salampak ng upo sa sahig at napalibutan ng ibat-ibang klase ng mga magazines at camera. It's 7 in the morning and she knows na hindi naman ito magtatanong kung saan siya galing.

"Oh, don't mind me"

"Why not in your room?" mababang saad niya.

"It's small" that's all Shaina say.

Sabina sat down onto the sofa"Do you need some help?"

" Uff, you know me Sabi, I can work closed-eye" nangingiti nitong saad.

Sabina wondered if this girl beside her can still have time for herself. She owned a company. Actually, a lot of them. That is why sometimes she asked her if she doesn't feel exhausted.

But only smile and the word 'happy' is only she got from those questions.

"You need to try to be relax too. We are here because of vacation from work but your work followed you here" aniya.

Tumawa lang ang kausap "Huwag kang magulo, ang daming nawawalng pera sa kompanya ko. Kailangan ko itong ayusin bago mahuli ang lahat" anito.

Sabina sighed. If that's the case, then she will let her friend do her work.

"Then I'm off"

"Okay" Shaina said in sing-song voice.

Sabina walks through her room, the two of them decided to had a vacation here in Vegas as Athena couldn't come because she’s not around Philippines right now and they don't know where that man Pierre, took her.

After a long week of busy from work, she and Shaina said that they need some refreshing vacation. At dahil na din sa nangyari sa pagitan nila ni Gazmen.

Gusto niyang makalimot. Sana. But sometimes, you cannot get all you want.

Pabagsak siyang humiga sa malambot na kama at tumitig sa kisame.

Memories from last night fills her mind. She took a deep sighed as she shut her eyes off.

Shit. I messed up.

Yes, she messed up. She knew she had. But that was the only time she could hold and feel him. Because she doesn't know when he can turn himself to who he really is with her again.

He could be nice at one time but when it comes to moment like that, she will always feel unwanted. Yeah, they can kiss, he could caress her body all he wants but she feels like he's having a hard time doing those.

Para tuloy sa pakiramdam niya ay napipilitan lang ito para hindi siya ma offend. But she felt offended. Every single time. And when he told her to distance herself from him, she fell into pieces.

Her heart broken. Her mind went blank and asked herself why. Why is she being unfortunate all the time?

Life, family, and now her love life.

Why?

She got up from her bed and undress. She planned to take a bath because she felt hot. But before she could finish unhooking her bra, She heard her phone rang, hindi niya itinuloy ang pagkalas ng bra niya at pumunta sa may nag iingay na cellphone at kinuha iyon sa maliit na mesa sa gilid ng kama kung saan niya inilagay ito kanina.

It's unregistered number.

But she still answered the call. "Hello?"

"Sabina"

Her heart pounded as she heard that voice "G-Gazmen" only him that can make her heart pound like this.

"I know it's you" sa mababang boses na saad nito "In my hotel room last night"

Nalintikan na. She bite her lower lip.

"huh? What? " she fake her laughter.

"Cut the bullshit Sabina. I know it's you who came to my hotel room last night —"

"—No, I'm not. I was here in my hotel the whole night. And why the hell would I be there? " anya sa seryosong tono na nakayanan niya.

She hates lying. She hated it the most because it could complicate things. But this time, she needs to.

"I don't know! I don't f*****g know!" she heard his tone frustrated "Alam kong ikaw 'yon Sabina. Huwag ka nang mag sinungaling pa. Alam kong hindi ako pinaglalaruan ng memorya ko. At kahit lasing ako, alam ko ang ginagawa ko. So better not lie to me"

"I don't know what the f**k you're talking about " with that, she cut the call.

Shit.

Now, she knew. She's one hundred percent sure that she messed up big time!

She took the chance last night. She needed to fulfill her cravings because maybe, just maybe when she fulfilled those, she will make her feelings for him vanish.

Na kung makasiping na niya ang lalaki, baka lang hindi na ito tatakbo sa isipan niya. Na sana lang kung may mangyari na sa kanila, baka tratuhin na din siya ng maganda kagaya ng sa iba.

Hindi na din niya kasi maintindihan ang lalaki. Mas malala pa ito sa babae! He is so pickle-minded!

She went to the bathroom and freshen up. Naghilamos lang siya saka nag tooth brush, inayos ang buhok na nagulo kaninang humiga siya saka lumabas doon.

She didn't bother to put lipstick on. Basta ang mahalaga makalayas siya ngayon dito sa hotel nila. Kung saan siya pupunta? Ay bahala na. Basta ang gusto lang niya ay to clear her mind and think what is right to do. Kung meron pang natitirang paraan.

She took the car key from the drawer, she rented car because she hated taxis and commuting.

Nagmamadali siyang lumabas at hindi naman niya naabutan si Shaina sa sala kaya okay lang na hindi siya magpa alam dito. Shaina rented her own car because according to her, she will have her own time while here.

She went to the parking lot at nagmamadali na pumasok sa loob ng kotse saka pinaharurot iyon, but before she can get out from the vicinity of the hotel, may bumalandra na taxi sa harapan ng kotse niya.

Bubusinahan na sana niya iyon nang biglang lumabas si Kurt doon. Mabilis na naglakad ito papunta sa direksyon ng kotse niya. She could tell from his looks that he is so damn serious! Malakas na kinatok nito ang pinto ng drivers sit.

Well, the car windows aren't tinted. Kaya naman kitang kita siya ng lalaki mula sa labas.

Napipilitang ibinaba ni Sabina ang bintana ng kotse "Bakit? Hindi ko kasama si Jonas" dahil ito 'yung tipong hahatakin nito ang buong kotse kapag hindi napagbuksan, ganoon ang itsura ng mukha nito ngayon.

What were she saying? This is Las Vegas and not Philippines. Alangan namang kasama niya si Jonas?

"Hindi siya ang kailangan ko at hindi ito Pilipinas Sabina"

"Si Goldwyn? Wala din" she stare at him. Her glares never flutters.

Kurt clenched his jaw. "Open the damn door" normal na boses ngunit napaka seryosong saad nito.

Napakurap si Sabina sa utos ng lalaki. "W-Why?"

"Lipat ng upuan o buhat?" walang anumang saad nito na tila ba isang tauhan lang nito ang kausap.

Napilitang bumaba ang dalaga at lumipat ng pwesto. Kurt drives. Sabina didn't speak until she was curious where are they going.

"where are we going?"

"My hotel"

"Sinasabi ko sa'yo Gazmen. Hindi talaga ako pumunta sa hotel mo kagabi. It's all your hallucinations" Sabina cleared her throat "Guni-guni mo lang lahat"

Kurt eyes didn't leave the road but Sabina saw na humigpit ang hawak nito sa manibela "Enough. You're scent still filling my room and I already saw the footage" mababa nitong saad.

Shit. Bakit nga ba nakalimutan niyang may CCTV ang hotel?

Marahas na bumuga ng hangin ang babae. Nagpunta lang siya doon para dalhin ang mga documents na ipinapabigay ni Jonas. He emailed her and asked her to print those and send it to Kurt because according to that jerk, Gazmen is here for confidential assignment.

Kaya daw siya ang inatasan na magdala niyon ay para magmukhang mag uyab sila.

Uyab my foot!

Putang ina. e di sana hindi siya nasadlak sa ganitong sitwasyon kung hindi dahil sa mga hayop na papel?

"Then what do you want me to say? What do you want to hear? Na ginusto kong may mangyari sa atin ganun?" hindi niya mapigilang tumaas ang boses.

Kurt clicks his tongue "hindi ba?"

Hindi siya naka imik dahil one thousand one percent na totoo naman na ginusto niya talaga!

Oh s**t. Her? Sabina Mallari-Vazquez, speechless? So not her!

"Could you just not talk about it? Some men will do that after s*x"

Nagdilim ang mukha ng lalaki "O nice! I am tempted " tumawa ito ng mapakla kapagkuwan ay hinampas ang manibela gamit ang kanang kamay "but the problem is, I'm not some men" anito saka ikiniling ang ulo.

This could be the most serious time for Sabina but hell, she finds him sexy the way he move his head!

Tang'na ka Sabina. Mag seryoso ka shuta ka.. Sita niya sa sarili.

Napabuga ng hangin si Sabina at lumingon sa labas ng sasakyan.

"Just let it go" she sighed again "I messed up okay? Just put it as bad dream"

Kurt gritted his teeth. "What do you think of me? A f**k up thing that needs some fixing? Bakit? Dahil ba may boyfriend ka na?"

"What?" napalingon siya bigla sa lalaki.

Marahas na bumuga ng hangin ang lalaki "Renato"

Oh him? He's her brother for Christ sake! Hindi niya alam kung saang lupalop ng mundo nito nasagap ang balitang iyon. But if lying can make him shut up, then so be it. She would lie.

"Yeah" marahan na saad niya

Kurt gritted his teeth. "Matagal na kayo?"

"Few years"

"Then why you always kiss me like there's no man giving you those?" anito "And why you always welcomed my tongue and my lips every time I devoured your mouth?"

Napalunok ng sariling laway ang babae. "Look here Gazmen"

"Call me Kurt" he said in low voice. "Like you call me last night"

"Kurt"

Kurt once again blows a deep breath "Did I become rough last night?"

"It's just"

"Just" ulit nito sa sinabi ng dalaga habang tumatango "Did I satisfy you?"

Mapait siyang tumawa at lumingon sa lalaki "What is this, an Ego check?"

"No, I just want to know why you cheated on your so-called boyfriend"

Hindi na lang umimik si Sabina. Hindi pumasok sa isipan niya kagabi na ganito ang mangyayari ngayon. And damn this man, she was a virgin!

Pero naisip niya agad, lasing nga naman ito.

Binilisan ng lalaki ang pagpatakbo ng sasakyan "We should settle this and tell your parents"

"No way!" how can she? Wala naman siyang magulang e.

"At kung mabuntis ka?" he tilted his head to her "I'm a healthy specie Sabina. Paniguradong mabubuntis kita. At hindi lang iisang beses ang nangyari sa pagitan natin. I know it in my mind even if I was drunk. We did it six times to be exact. So, tell your parents or I'll kidnapped you to church? "

Parang nabingi yata si Sabina sa mga narinig. Church? Ano yun pota? But she acted like she didn't hear it clearly. Mahirap mapahiya kapag nagtanong ng mga bagay-bagay.

"I cross the bridge when I get there" she sighed "I don't want to complicate things okay? I have work that can be ruin any time if you speak about what happened. So, just let it go okay?"

His face darkened "Sana naisip mo ang mga bagay na 'yan bago ka naghubad sa—"

"—I didn't! You kissed me first and told me you always f*****g dream of me naked and moaning in front of you!" she snapped

There's no sense of lying anymore. He already knew that she was the one who went to his hotel.

Hindi na umimik pa ang lalaki. Basta lang itong nag drive at diretso ang tingin sa kalsada.

Nang makarating na sila sa hotel nito, akala ni Sabina ang lalaki lang bababa pero pinababa din siya nito.

He took her hand at maglahawak kamay silang pumasok doon. Maybe because he is afraid of her running away that is why he holds her hand so tight.

Kahit ng nasa elevator na sila. Hindi nito binitawan ang kamay niya. If someone that doesn't know them will surely think that they are lovebirds when they see them.

In my dreams..

Nang makapasok na sila sa loob ng hotel, kurt undressed himself. Napalunok si Sabina ng makita ang nakatayo nitong pagka lalaki na ilang beses din niyang tinikman at isinubo kagabi.

The 'thing' she had a romantic relationship with last night.

Her mouth went dry as Kurt walks through her. She can see all of him. The man that she devoured last night. Ang lalaking kaulayaw niya ng hindi lang iisang beses kagabi.

"Hindi na ako lasing" his voice is so damn sexy!

Sabina wet her lips. "So? What do you mean?"

"We can do it again —"

"The s*x?"

"For you it's The— binigyang diin nito ang salitang 'the' — but for me, it's more than that"

With that, he claimed her lips. Like last night, nagpaubaya na naman siya. Wala siyang lakas para tumutol.

Same weakness. Same cravings. Same man.

The ony difference is that, she's not the only one sober right now. He also is.