Risk It All

RIA 04

The things that happened over the three-day long weekend kept haunting Ian’s mind. Everything was still clear as crystal inside his mind. And Ian could not forget how he embarrassed himself in front of Bill. It really never crossed in his mind that Nelie is one of Bill’s cousins. Well, how could he know? Bill is known for having a number of girlfriends within a month. No one could blame Ian for thinking that Nelie was Bill’s girlfriend. After all, Ian has only met a few of Bill’s cousins since childhood. They were the ones who constantly visited Bill's house every summer during their childhood. And all of Bill’s cousins that Ian knew were all boys. Bill never mentioned that he has a girl cousin on his mother’s side of their family.

Ian felt the heat that was slowly crawling on his face, making his face turn into cherry red. Biting his bottom lip, Ian did not dare to move his head, not even a single glance to either side, and he focused facing the computer monitor on his table. And as if all of the shame lingering in him was put in his hand as he tapped the keyboard tiles of his computer with force, producing loud and heavy typing sound. He forgot that he’s not the only one in the office.

“Ian. . .” a voice from his side called him. Yet, as if Ian did not hear the person who called him, his attention was still fixed on the computer monitor.

“Ian. . . Ian. . .” A hand was placed on Ian’s shoulder, shaking him, trying to get his attention. That was the only time Ian was pulled back into his senses.

Slowly, Ian turned his head to his side, taking a glance at the person calling him. His eyebrows furrowed instantly as he noticed almost everyone’s eyes in the room were on him. “Y-Yes?” he asked, not sure of what he would say.

“You are typing heavily. Is something wrong?” the person sitting next to Ian asked.

“H-Huh?” was the only word Ian was able to speak out. “What did you just say, Gera?”

Gera laughed softly and lightly, shaking her head at the same time. “Something is really bothering you, Ian. Did something happen during the weekend?” she asked again.

“No. Nothing. Just don’t mind me,” Ian quickly replied. Abruptly, he waved both of his hands in front, dismissing Gera. It only made him look more suspicious, which did happen as Gera squinted her eyes as she stared at Ian.

“Are you sure, Ian? Your actions speak otherwise as what I am seeing. . .” a small teasing grin appeared.

Ian stiffed on his chair, unable to move an inch. Momentarily, Ian literally stared blankly at Gera in return. Yet, he suddenly frowned as the scenes of Bill being overprotective of him again after how many years flashed in his mind.

“What are you trying to say, Gera? I don’t get you. . .” Ian uttered in a very low voice. “Really. . .” he added after only a split of seconds, mumbling. For real, Ian really doesn’t get what Gera was pointing out. It puzzled his thoughts even more.

The small teasing grin on Gera’s lips grew wide. It changed into an ear to ear mischievous smile. It was as if her smile tells that she knows something that not all of their colleagues did not know about. Sensing what Gera’s smile means, Ian took a deep breath and swallowed a lump secretly. But it did not escape from his friend’s keen eyes.

“At first glance, I really thought it was just me being a fujoshi. But, all my hunches were confirmed last Saturday, Ian. You don’t need to hide it from me, Ian. I am not against with the relationship like you have. . .” Gera trailed his words, leaving Ian at the edge of confusion.

Still with brows tailored in between, Ian spoke, “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Ian. There’s no need for you to hide it from me. We have been friends for three to four years already since you transferred to our school,” Gera chimed gleefully. She then moved her swivel chair close to Ian’s. She leaned closer to Ian’s ear, and using her hands, she covered the sides of her mouth. “I know you love Bill. I noticed it a few months after we got a job here. But that time, I am still not sure if my thoughts were right until last Saturday. I saw you and Bill did a live stream. And my fujoshi heart is over the moon knowing that you two are in a relationship. I wasn’t wrong after all,” Gera whispered that only she and Ian could hear.

Ian felt like an ice bucket was emptied over his head, spilling the cold water all over him. His jaw dropped, gaping. And his eyes were filled with total shock. This is one of the reasons he regretted agreeing with Bill. He knew sooner or later one of their friends or colleagues would discover about it and would misunderstand the situation.

Yet, Ian composed himself as fast as he could. He quickly recovered from the shock that struck him from Gera’s sudden revelation. He wasn’t ready for this. He’s still not ready for situations like this although he expected this situation would come, but not this early.

Chuckling, Ian faked a laugh. “We never did a live stream together, Gera. What you saw last Saturday might be just our look alike. You know, all of us in this world has a look alike. The world is big enough for us not to have a look alike,” Ian denied, making an excuse, trying to escape Gera’s trapping words.

“No, Ian. I can’t be wrong. It is impossible that you and Bill had a look alike and have the same names.” Gera shook her head. A playful smile was still plastered on her lips, never fading out. “I saw what I saw. And I heard what I heard, my baby Ian. . .” Gera emphasized Bill’s endearment for Ian. She also copied how sweet and lovely Bill said those three words. “Don’t deny it, Ian. You and Bill are in a relationship, boyfriends to be exact, right? It’s impossible you’ll do online couple video blogs if you aren’t in real life. That would be so silly for you guys to do it. And. . .” Gera’s eyes examined Ian from head to toe and went upwards back to Ian’s face. “And you looked really in love with your best friend. So, I therefore conclude that you really love each other.”

It seemed like Ian lost his tongue as Gera continued to talk to him, murmuring to him for no one to hear what they were talking about. His friend, Gera, did not let him say a word while she’s not done spilling the thoughts in her mind.

Ian just then felt Gera’s hand on his shoulder. She tapped his shoulder lightly as if she was giving him an assurance. “But, you don’t have to worry, my friend. I won’t tell anyone about you and Bill. I will respect your decision to hide it from the people around you and who knows you, especially here in our workplace. You can trust me.” Gera then smiled. It wasn't teasing nor playful. “So, relax, Ian. This will be a little secret between us three. And don’t mind me, I will be just fangirling in the side watching you two interact.” She giggled like she’s imagining a romantic scene from a movie that made her feel the butterflies in her stomach.

Sighing, Ian regretted his latest action, looking at Gera. He should not have moved his eyes off the computer monitor. This shouldn’t be happening if he didn’t move and throw a look at her. And now, His friend thought everything she saw on the live stream were all real. Where in fact, it isn’t. Yes, it is true that he has this feeling for his best friend, for Bill. But it isn’t mutual if someone would ask Bill. Ian won’t deny that he likes Bill. No. He already loves Bill at the moment as he speaks with Gera. Gera only made it more clear to him how affected he is about Bill. Yet, he had nothing to do with it. It is what it is. He could not change Bill for being Bill and like him back more than just friends. Asking Bill to love him back is so much to ask, like is more than enough yet still hard to achieve.

Ian stared blankly at Gera. What if he’ll tell Gera the truth? Would it make a difference? Will Gera understand him? Will Gera pity him for secretly loving his best friend? Will Gera scold him for agreeing with Bill to be a pretend online couple that only resulted in him being hurt at the end, which is contrary to Bill’s side? Maybe it would be best Ian would tell Gera the truth before she knows it from others, especially from the girls Bill had dated or is dating from behind the camera lens. Plus, Ian doesn’t like lying with his friends. And Gera has been a friend to him since their last year in college. If ever he’ll tell Gera about it, she would be the first to know the truth.

“Oh! You paced out, Ian. What’s running in your mind? Are you missing your boyfriend already?” Gera teased, still whispering although she was back on her table. A hand was covering her mouth.

Opposing thoughts were debating in Ian’s mind. He was thinking twice if he really wanted Gera to know the truth or not. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to be hopeful enough about him and Bill’s pretend relationship. For sure, she will be mad once she knows they really are not a couple from other people. She trusted him and he can’t let that trust be ruined because of a lie.

“Gera. . .” Ian uttered.

“Yes?”

“The thing is-” Ian was unable to continue his words when a voice from the door called his attention. There, he saw their liaison officer standing at the doorway.

“Sir Ian, boss wants you in his office now. A new client requested to have a word with you,” the liaison officer said.

“Oh. . . That’s new,” Ian commented. It was the first time a new client requested his presence. “Okay, I’ll be there in a few.”

Ian glanced at Gera. “Let’s talk during our break. I have something to talk about with you.” His eyes were still filled with hesitations yet he already said it. It’s too late for him to take his words back.

“If this is about you and Bill, sure, I’ll be glad to have a talk with you later.”

Nodding, Ian responded to Gera before he stood from his chair. But Bill entered the room with two mugs of coffee in both of his hands, smiling as he walked towards his table, which was on Ian’s left side, Gera was on his right.

“Where are you going? I brought you coffee,” Bill said, making Gera at the side hold a squeak.

“Boss called me. The new client requested to have a talk with me,” Ian simply replied. “Just put the coffee on my table. I’ll drink it when I get back.”

Bill placed the mug in his right hand to Ian’s table. “I see. Well, good luck then. . .” Bill then tapped Ian’s shoulder from the back. If someone was looking at them from the front view, it seemed like Bill was throwing his arm on Ian, hugging him, which happened to be the view Gera was enjoying. “I know you’ll close whatever this deal is.”

“Yeah. . .” Ian quickly noticed Gera’s reaction. And his heartbeat suddenly became fast by the time Bill’s hand landed on his shoulder, touching him. It sent electric currents all over his body. He doesn’t want anyone, especially Bill and Gera, to see how affected he, his body, was with the interaction. So, he immediately took action. He took Bill’s hand off him.

He then threw a warning glare at Gera, telling her to keep quiet before excusing himself. “Let’s just meet at the pantry, Gera, during the break if ever this will take long,” he reminded and exited the room.