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I feel really withdrawn lately even how much I suck my own blood that is making me weaker and paler every day. My friends already noticed and kept asking but I just wave it all away. But day after day I can see these red lines on every person I pass through. Practice and preparations for graduation are already coming to an end yet I feel this worst. I am hoping and praying that I will at least survive and control myself until graduation ends but to what I am feeling I doubt if I make it until graduation day. It is so hard because every human I will see I can see their veins where blood flows; I can see their pumping hearts like a computer scanner that can see through everything inside a human body. I can smell blood really well and it calls me. Its temptation is making it too unbearable