Loving Logan

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I'm not sure how long we've been standing here just staring at each other, but I don't want to look away. He's so beautiful. So perfect.

He starts walking towards me and his eyes slowly move down my body. He bites his bottom lip seductively as he gets closer. Closer... Closer...

My heart is beating furiously, my knees are weak….

Only for him to walk right past me as if he doesn't know me at all.

I consider locking myself up in the bathroom to cry this hurts so much, but I won't. I'm sick of him doing this to me. I'm sick of him pushing and pushing, yet giving me little reasons here and there to keep fighting for his attention.

I stomp towards him and push him as hard as a girl with little to no upper body strength can. He takes a couple of steps back, but he smirks when he realizes it's only me.

"What the hell is your problem?!" I growl.

I want to slap that smirk off his smug face right now.

"I don't get you, Malone! You act like my knight in shining armor one minute and then the next, you act like I don't even exist!"I shout at him. I have no idea where this courage is coming from, but I roll with it. "You can't just-"

He grabs my face and presses his lips to mine before I can finish.

He's kissing me. Oh. My God. He's actually kissing me.

His hands cup my face and after I get over the initial shock, my arms wrap around his neck. His lips are like magic the way they move against mine. Everything around us becomes a blur and it's just us.

He pulls away, still holding my face in his hands. "Trust me, I know you exist."

With that, he walks right out the front door leaving me frozen in the same place. I'm still staring at the door, trying to reel myself in because quite frankly, I'm all over the place right now.

I just had my first kiss.

I look all over for Casey. She's going to freak when I tell her what just happened.

"Katie!"

That voice. It used to be the one that excited me and gave me goosebumps. Not anymore.

"Josh. Hey, have you seen Casey?" I ask, hoping he will take the hint that I don't want to talk to him.

"She was heading upstairs with Colton Turner the last time I saw her."

"Casey and Colton? Are you sure?" I ask incredulously.

He takes a sip of his beer and raises a brow. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I was a little surprised myself."

Surprised is an understatement. Casey hates Colton. I feel like I need to go look for her just to make sure she's okay. Before I can turn to leave, Josh grabs my arm.

"You never called." His eyes are dark and almost scary. Probably because of the alcohol, but still; it's enough to make me want to run.

"Yeah, sorry. I've been pretty busy," I lie.

"Busy with Malone, huh?"

My eyes widen in surprise. I didn't even think about the people here who probably witnessed our kiss.

He chuckles, but I don't miss the sarcasm. "So, after all this time, I lost out to that wallflower. What do you see in him anyway?"

"He kissed me. It's not like I was expecting it," I finally manage to say.

"That's funny, you seemed to like it. I mean, you didn't sneeze in his face or anything," he bites back.

I'm honestly at a loss for words. I really thought I liked Josh, but I never expected these strange feelings for Logan. Now, they're all I can think about, leaving no room for Josh.

He looks like a sad puppy and I know I should say something, but I'm not good in situations like this. "I need to find Casey," I say, attempting to walk away.

"Wait. Katie, I'm sorry." He takes my hand and looks down. "It's just...I really like you, okay? A lot. And I thought you liked me too; so seeing you kissing someone else..."

Great. Now I feel bad.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Can we still be friends?" he asks with a hopeful glint to his eyes.

"Of course, we can," I smile.

He flashes a bright smile in return. "What do you say I get you a drink and we go and find Casey. I'm a little worried about her being alone with Colton. He's kind of-"

"A d**k?" I finish for him.

He laughs and nudges me with his shoulder. "Took the words right out of my mouth."

Josh grabs me a Sprite and we head upstairs to a long hallway that has about seven different doors. Jamie's parents own several hotels, so they are no doubt rich out of their minds and this house is huge.

I open the first door on the left and two naked bodies jump apart, but neither of them are Casey or Colton. I try the next door, but it's locked. I wonder why the first door wasn’t. Maybe they are exhibitionists or something?

I press my ear against the locked door, listening to see if the moans are that of my best friend. As I listen, I start to get really sleepy. Everything starts spinning and going dark so suddenly, I don't have time to think. I slide down the door until I feel my butt touch the floor. My muscles are heavy like lead. My eyelids droop against my will and I'm sucked into darkness within a matter of seconds.

-

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Logan asks as he hovers over me, his lips brushing against mine.

"Yes," I whisper.

"Good. I don't want anyone else to have you. Just me. Only me," he whispers before crashing his lips into mine.

I feel him inside me, but it hurts. It hurts so bad, I don't think I can take it. "Logan, stop."

But he doesn't stop. He just picks up the pace, making the pain intensify.

My eyes flutter open and I gasp. It's not Logan on top of me. It's Josh.

I'm in so much pain, I can't think straight. He's is using one hand to pin my arms over my head while the other covers my mouth.

I'm being r***d. This is how I'll lose my virginity.

I can feel his eyes on me, watching the tears roll down my face. He's moaning and grunting, acting as if he's having the time of his life, while I lay here, unable to move. While I crumble on the inside, he's laughing and telling me how good it feels.

But it feels anything but good.

When he pushes off me and reaches for his jeans that are lying at the foot of the bed, I breathe a sigh of relief. I look down and see that I'm completely naked. Red splotches cover my skin where he was touching and grabbing me. I can still smell him, still taste him. And it makes me want to vomit.

He tosses my dress on top of me and turns to leave. Before he exits the room, he looks back at me and smirks. "Hope Malone doesn't mind that I got there first."

After he leaves, I stare up at the ceiling, holding back more tears. I can't cry. Not right now. I have to get out of here without calling attention to myself.

I need my dad. I just want my dad right now.

I stand up quickly and stumble around, feeling woozy and lightheaded. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath to calm my racing heart. I slide on my dress, not even able to work the zipper because of my shaky hands.

I catch my reflection in the mirror on the wall and I gasp. My makeup is smudged around my eyes. My hair is a mess. I wrap my arms around my body as I think about Josh touching all over me. Taking something from me that I can never get back.

I feel bile rising in my throat, so I rush to the bathroom across the hall.

When I have nothing else left in my stomach, I slump against the wall and try to catch my breath. I have to get out of here. Away from him.

I don't bother looking for Casey, I just need to get home. I head straight for the front door, but before I make it, a hand reaches out to grab my arm. I look up and I'm both surprised and relieved to see Colton.

"Katie? Are you okay?"

I know I can't hold back the tears much longer, so I quickly nod and push past him. I make it to the front door and the cool September air hits my face.

I start running, barefoot, down the street as fast as my legs can carry me. Tears blur my vision and streak my face. My heart feels heavy and broken. I feel broken.

I don't even know how long I've been running when I hear a car come to a stop behind me. I don't stop though.

"Katie!"

It's Casey. Her voice causes me to lose all resolve. I drop to my knees and begin to sob uncontrollably. I feel her arms wrap around me and I grab onto her. She doesn't ask me any questions, and for that I'm grateful.I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it, though unfortunately, I know it'll be on the forefront of my mind for months, or even years to come.

I notice someone pacing around behind us and he's on his phone, speaking softly as if he doesn't want me to hear what he's saying. I don't pay it much mind until I hear his name.

"Malone. We have a problem."

-

I wake up the next morning lying in bed next to Casey who is still sleeping. I can't remember how I got here, but as long as she's beside me, I know I'm okay. My dad is asleep a few feet away on the chair in the corner of my room.

I try to sit up, but the pain between my legs hits me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, everything that happened last night comes flooding back to the front of my mind. Josh Matthews, the guy I adored for three years, r***d me. I lost my virginity against my will.

I feel dirty. So dirty.

I stand up and wince at the pain in my groin. I slowly walk to my bathroom and flick on the light. I turn on the shower and stare at my reflection in the mirror, watching the tears run down my face.

How could he do this to me? How could he be okay with this? Just...how?!

I'm wearing pajamas and my hair is still damp. Casey must've made sure I showered last night. I wonder if she knows what else happened.

"Honey bear?"

My dad's tired voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I look up at him. Dark circles line his puffy eyes. He looks a mess, and I'm sure I know why.

"Dad," I choke out, but the sobs take over.

He pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head. "We need to get you to a hospital. And then we need to call the police-"

"No, I can't. I can't tell them what happened. I can't relive that again..." I cry.

"Kate, you have to do this. Otherwise, this creep will get away with what he did to you."

The thought of Josh moving on with his life after what he did last night makes me want to scream. I can't let him get away with this. I'm in no state to go through that nightmare again, but if it means Josh pays for what he did to me, it's worth it.

"Okay. Okay, let's go," I sigh, meeting his eyes.