Life of Nerdy

Chapter One

I stared at Life’s gentle and tender face. He looks so cute. He’s so adorable even with his eyes closed. Siguro ay napagod siya sa paglalaro ng basketball kanina kasama ang mga kaibigan niya sa University at sa klase kaya ngayon ay nakatulog na siya.

I can still remember how we first met. I was just four years old and crying at the vacant lot on our subdivision when he approached me. He gave me a candy and told me not to cry, right after that, we became friends. We were playing a lot and he even stated that from that day onward, we’re already bestfriends.

Sobrang over-protective niya sa akin.

Kahit na hindi ko nakuha ang atensiyon ni Papa, at kahit na iniwan ako ni Mama ay hindi ko naramdaman kahit na minsan na mag-isa lang ako dahil sa kanya. He’s more than enough. I can also remember how I cried a liter of tears on his shoulder when my mother left. I was only eight years old back then. He never left my side and he made me feel like I was not alone, and he did it very well, actually.

Dahil sa kanya ay nakahanap ako ng pamilya. Naramdaman ko na mahalaga ako at may nagmamahal pa rin sa akin. Na hindi sobrang sama at lupit ng mundo.

I also remember how he hit Luke’s face because Luke bullied me and called me a nerd. Yes, I may be a nerd, but not the typical nerd on a teen fiction story who wears thick glasses, braces and was carrying heavy books. I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with that so I don’t really get why some people make fun out of them.

One look at me, you’ll definitely see me as an ordinary school girl, but if you get to know me, you’ll see that I am really study-conscious and aloof to other people, and that’s the reason why most of our classmates were calling me a nerd.

Pero ayaw ni Life na may tumatawag sa aking nerd kahit na iyon naman ang pangalan ko maliban sa kanya. Siya kasi ang nagbigay ng palayaw sa akin ng nerd at pakiramdam daw niya ay insulto sa akin kung manggagaling sa ibang tao.

I adore Life a lot.

I have to admit that I love him not just friends, but more than that. I didn’t really have any idea when and how did it start, all I know is that I just woke up one day having this odd feelings towards my bestfriend. Most probably it is because of all the goodness and kindness he had shown and given me.

Whenever I see him, and whenever I am with him, I just can’t keep my heart from beating fast. It may sound cliché and corny but that’s the truth.

We’re actually both on our first year in college, I am seventeen and he’s nineteen. Yep, he’s two years older than me. And it’s funny because he literally failed some of his subjects back in highschool because he wanted to be my classmate.

“Life,” tawag ko sa pangalan niya habang inaalog ang kanang balikat niya, sinusubukan ko siyang gisingin para makapagpaalam na uuwi na ako.

“Hmm,” he answered back, half asleep.

Again, I smiled out of nowhere. I don’t know why but I am falling in love with him deeper and even more as time passes by. I really just can’t help myself from doing so.

“Life, I’m done with our project. I need to go home.” I said, still shaking his shoulder.

“Sleep here, Nerdy, just tell Mom that I asked you to have a sleep over,” he replied lazily, scratching the back of his head and without even opening his closed eyes.

“You know for a fact that I can’t, right? I still have a lot of things to do.” Nagbuntong hininga ako. “Alright, I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll just tell Tita that I have to go. Goodnight Life,” saad ko at binigyan siya ng isang marahang halik sa kanang parte ng pisngi niya.

“Hey, you are a p*****t! You just took advantage of my handsome sleeping face!” saad at biro niya kaya natawa ako. “Fine, let me walk you home,” dagdag pa niya at tinatamad na bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga sa kama niya.

“Should I feel overwhelm, Life?” I asked sarcastically. “You really don’t have to. Just take your rest, I mean, let me remind you that I just live next door in case you forgot.”

“I’m a gentleman, Nerdy Nerd,” saad at pang-aasar niya sa akin, tapos ay marahan pa niyang kinurot ang tungki ng ilong ko. I just shook my head and pouted my lips and we both walked our way down the stairs.

“Tita, uuwi na po ako,” magalang na saad ko nang maabutan ko siyang naghahanda ng pagkain nila sa hapag.

Anak ang turing sa akin ni Tita. Nakakatuwa nga kasi kahit na anong bagay ang binibili nila para kay Life ay meron din ako. Sabi nila ni Tito ay ako daw ang anak na babaeng pinapangarap nila na hindi nila natanggap mula sa Diyos.

“Let’s have a dinner first, Nerdy,” nakangiting saad niya.

“I’m still full, Tita. Sa bahay na lang po mamaya. Salamat po sa pag-imbita,” magalang na sagot ko, saglit siyang nag-isip bago marahang tumango at ngumiti sa akin.

“Okay Nerdy, have a good night.” Tumango rin ako at agad na lumapit sa kanya para halikan siya sa pisngi.

Tapos ay sabay kaming naglakad ni Life palabas sa bahay nila. Magkaharap lang talaga ang bahay namin kaya lagi ako sa kanila simula noong bata ako, kaya siguro sobrang napalapit din ang loob namin sa isa’t isa.

“Mom really likes you,” haatang tinatamad pa rin na saad ni Life nang nasa harap na kami ng gate ng bahay namin.

Huminto ako sa paglalakad at agad na hinarap si Life nang sabihin niya iyon. It’s pretty obvious on his tantalizing eyes how tired he is. Sa tingin ko ay kailangan na talaga niyang magpahinga dahil may pasok pa kami bukas. Ewan ko ba kasi sa kanya kung bakit sinamahan pa niya akong umuwi samantalang magkaharap lang ang bahay namin.

“She wants to have a daughter, and I am willing to be,” sagot ko at nagkibit pa ako ng balikat.

“I don’t want you to be my sister, Nerdy. I’m way too handsome to be called your brother, just so you know,” sagot niya, tumawa pa ang hayop sa sarili niyang biro. Pina-ikot ko naman ang mga mata ko at agad siyang sinuntok sa kaliwang braso niya. “Ouch!” Reklamo niya habang tumatawa pa rin.

“Well, you can marry me,” saad ko.

That was just a joke but jokes are half meant. He just laughed at the idea so I raised him one brow.

“You’re gross! Parang i****t kasi lumaki tayong magkasama at parang magkapatid kahit na hindi naman. And you’re not my type, Nerdy Nerd! Fine, I’ll just let Mom adopt you,” biro ulit niya.

“I’m just giving you an idea. I mean, I know for a fact that you’re eyeing me for quite a while now, but to tell you honestly, you’re not my type either, you don’t even know how to make your own home works and projects. I like Luke better even if he’s a bully.”

I nearly laugh because it’s now his turn to make a face.

“That’s too personal, Nerdy. Atsaka iyong Luke na iyon? That A of a hole can’t be near you anymore or else, I’ll hit his ugly face once again,” he said with so much confidence, it’s as if hitting Luke’s face from before was something to be proud of.

“Kita mo na? Wala pa man nagseselos ka na,” napailing siya at agad na humalakhak dahil sa sinabi ko.

“I really don’t have any idea if where you’re getting all your confidence whenever you’re with me, anyways, I have to go inside and sleep. You have to sleep, too, Nerdy. I think you’re also too tired because you are already hallucinating things. And oh, don’t think of me too much because you’re really not my type,” saad niya habang walang hinto sa paghalakhak.

Alam ko naman na biro lang iyon pero masakit pa rin sa dibdib. Mabigat. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at nagpasyang huwag nang bigyan ng kung ano mang malisya ang mga napag-usapan namin.

Another thing is that’s just fine with me, as long as he’s not being smitten by someone I don’t know. Kapag kasi nangyari iyon ay hindi ko alam kung makakaya ko ba. Hindi pa ako handa.

Life…

What will I ever do just to make you notice my feelings for you? This is the reason why it’s damn hard to secretly fall in love to someone, because you don’t have the right to complain if you’re hurting. You have to keep the pain secretly, too.

Honestly speaking, I really want to get used to this pain so that when the time comes wherein he fell in love with someone else, it won’t be too painful anymore. I know that he’ll fall in love with someone else in no time. He has the looks and the charisma, he’s kind and gentleman. I bet he’ll win any girls that he’ll try to pursue.

I just shook my head and watched him get inside their house, right after that I have also decided to go inside. I saw Dad sitting on the living room as I went in. He’s facing his laptop while his brows were furrowed.

Nagpasya ako na huwag na siyang pansinin. Ayoko siyang abalahin kasi natatakot ako na magalit siya. At isa pa, alam ko naman na wala siyang pakealam sa akin.

“Ah, N-Nerdy?” Agad akong napahinto nang marinig kong tawagin niya ang pangalan ko, kinakabahan ako. Marahan akong lumingon sa kanya pero hindi ako nagsalita, hinintay ko lang ang susunod niyang sasabihin. “Ah, k-kumain ka na ba?” na-uutal niyang tanong.

Mapait akong napangiti nang itanong niya iyon. Sa labing pitong taon na nakasama ko siya ay ito ang kauna-unahang beses na tinanong niya ako niyan.Hindi ko alam na may paki pa pala siya sa akin.

“Yes,” maikling sagot ko kahit na hindi pa ako kumakain. Sa totoo lang ay ayoko nang pahabain pa ang pag-uusap namin.

Wala naman na kaming pag-uusapan pa. Wala akong sasabihin sa kanya at alam kong gano’n din siya. Mas mabuti kung ganito na lang kami.

Kahit na maging civil lang sa kanya ay ayokong mangyari kasi ayokong umasa na mararamdaman kong maging tatay siya sa akin.

I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I just grew tired of it. When I haven’t heard anything from him, I turned my back and went upstairs to lock myself inside my room.