The Beta's Cursed Mate

Missed Calls

I drove around a few minutes with the windows down contemplating what the f.uck just happened. Even though it was winter, the air felt good on my flushed skin. I should probably get home. Maybe this was one of the side effects of what has been going on.

It was better to get home, and maybe lock myself away, but I was content to drive around putting my hand out the window and feeling the air flow past it.

I turned up the radio and felt more myself than I have in a while.

I checked my phone when I got to the parking lot, a habit now. I was surprised to see a text from Sam.

Any chance you would want to grab a drink tonight? We need to celebrate a few months away from this s.hit being done.

Sure, I’m down for something casual - I texted back without thinking

Cool, meet you at Watson's Pub in an hour?

I’ll be there :)

Some part of me loosened. I haven’t had a night out that I truly enjoyed in a while, and without the weight of classes hanging over my head, I think I could actually enjoy it.

I went for a quick shower and poured myself a glass of wine while I got ready. I could Uber there just in case, even though I wasn’t planning on more than one drink.

I couldn’t shake the excitement or nerves, they were completely irrational. I chalked it up to being nervous about going out for the first time in ages, especially without having Rodney by my side. I should text him.

I took a breath and studied myself in the mirror. I would have to blow dry my curls before they set crazy. I took a long sip of wine trying to settle myself.

After I was semi-okay with how my hair turned out, I swiped on a few coats of mascara and a bit of eyeliner. My eyes were already big but I liked the effect that a bit of makeup had on them.

Rodney used to call them sultry when I wore a smokey eye, until one day he decided it was s.lutty. I shook my head, physically pushing that thought out of my mind.

I frowned at my empty wine glass but didn’t want to overdo it, ten minutes left, I had to call an uber.

I pulled open my closet door, staring at its contents. Mostly filled with casual clothing for class, jeans, leggings, and flannels or business casual clothes that I used to wear to college events. I sighed, sifting through it, it was a casual night after all.

I tilted my head pulling out a white sweater dress that I hadn’t worn in ages. I lifted it in front of me in the mirror and surprised myself by smiling at my reflection.

I tugged it on, it hugged my curves and was extremely comfy and warm. This was the best I was going to get. I straightened the dress and pulled on thick socks and boots as a notification lit up my phone saying my Uber was outside.

I strolled into the bar, a warmly lit place filled with pool tables, and a long wooden bar that took up one-half of the room. College students were milling around, laughing and enjoying the first day of their short break. There weren’t many people but the night was still early, very early actually.

I scanned the crowd looking for Sam or Lucas' similar shaggy hair. They were taller than most people in this place, so they wouldn’t be hard to find. I frowned at not seeing either of them.

I checked my phone and realized I was still a bit early, so I strolled up to the bar and ordered myself a whiskey and coke, settling into the chair trying to calm my excitement or nerves, or whatever irrational thing that was happening.

The bartender and I struck up a conversation while she waited for more customers to trickle in. She dropped out when she found out she could make more being a bartender than her philosophy degree could ever offer her.

“Can I say how extremely jealous I am of you? Even though I knew what I wanted to do for ages, I wish I could be, I don’t know, mastered by anything but myself. I don’t know.” She laughed.

“I completely get that, I used to feel that way. But now,” She shrugged, “I’m free.”

Free, I mulled that word over in my mind.

It’s true, I loved my degree, but I was beginning to feel like my life wasn’t my own. I craved that freedom even though logically I wouldn’t give up a degree I was three months away from completing.

What would my mom say? What would Rodney say?

A screeching noise jolted my attention away from my self-reflection, or self-pitying these days. I looked over to see Lucas looking incredible in a fitted gray sweater. His tousled hair fell over his face in slight curls. His ocean-blue eyes had a hint of green in them now and they stood out against his brown hair and they made my breath catch.

He might be the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. No, he definitely was the most beautiful man that has ever existed.

I fought out a laugh, “You really know how to make an entrance, Lucas, right?” I asked him as if I didn’t have his name burned in my memory, it was something I knew I would never forget.

Sam flashed me a smile and gave me a wave, taking up the seat on the other side of his brother. Strange.

“Would you, I, you like drinking, do you want something to drink?” Lucas mumbles, tripping over his words. It was absolutely adorable.

“I have a drink, but I might take you up on that in a few minutes.” I picked up my drink, showing it to him and giving him what I hoped was half an easy smile like he and his brother possessed.

The bartender places a drink in front of him that Sam must have ordered. He takes a long sip and looks ahead as the bartender smiles at me, giving me a wink.

“So Lucas,” I turned to him, “What do you do for a living?”

“I work at Black Financials.” s**t, that's a great company, “They mainly do consulting and investing on behalf of clients. Not just in the stock market, but in other businesses, we’ve recently been trying to support more local initiatives and smaller businesses. It’s more work to sift through those applicants, but there are a lot of great business ideas from people that might not have the access or means to get the funding. It’s a win-win.” He flashes me that smile again and I feel a pit in my stomach, different than what has been settling there recently.

“I’ve heard of them, actually.” I nodded at him, my cousin had been on about it for ages, one of my only relatives that currently lives in the same state as me.

“My cousin just got approved for funding for something that he calls the ‘Next AirBnb’, I really don’t know what he’s talking about, it’s not my thing but I’m immensely proud of him,” I repeated everything that he told me, trying not to sound ignorant.

“So what is your thing then, Isabella?” I paused, loving the way that he said my name. Should I feel guilty? I pushed that thought away, this was harmless.

“Security,” I flashed him a smile, “My major is engineering, specifically computer science, but I’m hoping to do a masters focusing on cyber security.”

“She can hack.” Sam cuts in, the first time he’s said anything all night.

“Barely,” I looked down at my drink, suddenly shy for some reason, “Just for fun for now. If I want to create better systems, I need to figure out what their weaknesses are.”

Lucas seems distant. I wonder if I’m boring him, or maybe showing off too much.

“Sorry, I uh got distracted in my own mind.” He must have read the confusion on my face.

“What were you thinking?” I leaned towards him and my knee brushed his and I felt that similar jolt that I did earlier when our hands touched. I looked down at my knee and then back at him, furrowing my brows. What was that?

“I was thinking that one of our childhood friends would love you, he’s a massive security geek.”

Sam chuckles beside him, “That he is.”

“I would love to meet him,” I said honestly. Anyone in security is someone that I usually instantly got along with.

Lucas pulls out his phone and his face flashes with anger that makes me tense. He threw his phone to his brother and they seem to have a silent conversation. I sit back and sip my drink, not wanting to interrupt.

He turns back to me after a second, I notice that Sam still has his phone and is typing away on it.

“So,” He turns back to me and his casual calm self is back. What do I mean back? I don’t know the guy and I’m already acting like I have any idea who he is. I knew more than anything that the person you first meet isn’t the one that always sticks around.

“Tell me everything,” he went on, wiping the frown from my face.

We ended up talking until the bar closed. Sam started flirting with the bartender and ignored us pretty much completely. I didn’t mind, I got lost in how easy it was to just talk to him. Once I got past those initial strange nerves, I felt like I was talking to someone I’d known my entire life.

We both loved the same movies, he understood all my movie quotes and we ended up playing f.uck marry k.ill with fictional characters until my side was hurting from laughing so hard.

I only had a few drinks but I felt warm and flushed. I can’t remember the last time I had such a good night out, or in for that matter.

“It is my regret to inform you that it's the last call,” The bartender tapped the bar to get our attention and I sighed, not wanting to leave.

Lucas ordered us all another round and settled the tab, “Stop it I’ll pay,” I went to grab my wallet from my purse and my phone was lit up.

I pulled it out and my stomach dropped, missed calls and messages from Rodney. I was supposed to text him when I got home from Sam’s and I always did.

I always did.

This was the first time I forgot how could I have been so s. stupid He must be worried sick.

I forgot all about why I took my wallet out and unlocked my phone.

Um, Bella……

Hello?? Are you okay?

BELLA. You never texted me when you got home.

**Missed Call**

Are you sleeping? Is everything okay?

**Missed Call**

**Missed Call**

**Missed Call**

Answer your f.ucking phone now

Panic settled in as I read his messages. I hadn’t checked my phone since I sat down and we’d been here for hours now.

I felt so guilty.

Hey babe, I am SO SO sorry. I lost track of time. Everything is okay, I hope you’re having fun :) Call tomorrow? - I typed out a quick message and hit send not wanting him to worry for a second longer.

I know you’re out drinking, you always get like this when you drink. Forgetful and inconsiderate.

My stomach clenched, I forgot I shared my location with him on my phone. I locked my phone screen and put it back in my purse. I would call him when I was home. I felt completely sober now, the warmth and happiness that I was feeling moments before vanished.

Lucas looked at me, concern etched on his face.

“I guess that's my cue,” I shrugged and gave him a smile that I knew was hollow, “ I have to get going.”

I pushed off the stool and gave a nod to the bartender, who also looked concerned at my face. I pushed away my emotions and plastered on a smile, trying to keep my mind empty as I walked towards the front door.

“Uh, if you ever want to talk security, I can put you in touch with Cam,” Lucas says as I turn back to say my goodbyes, hugging myself against the cold winter air, "Hes' the security friend I mentioned earlier."

I blinked a few times, forgetting where I was, “What’s your number? I’ll text you his contact information.” He went on, pulling out his phone but didn’t look at me.

I held out my hand for his phone, giving him a genuine smile. I didn’t want this to end, I wanted to be his friend, I needed to be his friend.

“There, ”I passed his phone back after entering my details, our fingers brushing and his warm hand begged me to grab it. I reluctantly pulled my hand away when he grabbed the phone, “Now we’re officially friends.”

My phone buzzed and I looked down again.

I swear to f.uck I was going to come home, I was worried sick about you. How dare you do this to me? I go out with my friends for a bit to release some steam, you KNOW how stressed I’ve been. And you decide to take it out on me by ignoring me all night? Real f.ucking mature.

“I really have to go, I’m sorry.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I knew how angry he was and I was being such an inconsiderate girlfriend.

Sam came up smiling, even though it didn't reach his eyes, like he knew something was wrong, and pulled me into a quick hug.

“Thanks so much for tonight, I really needed this,” I said to both of them.

“Anytime, nice to see you outside of you using me for my notes.” He joked and I gave him a wry smile. He was easy to get along with, and so was Lucas, too easy to get along with actually. After tonight I would definitely call Sam a friend, but not to Rodney’s face.

Lucas walked up and embraced me, his warmth, his scent. The most amazing cologne I’ve ever smelled. The tears that were pricking my eyes moments before were gone, the tightness in my stomach released and I let out a long shuddering breath. I pulled him closer savoring this feeling.

One more moment to indulge in this, in him, before I looked desperate. I breathed him in and took a step back, almost stumbling. Fortunately, I caught myself.

I looked into those blue eyes that seemed to look into my very essence.

A long slumbering piece of me felt like it was waking up.