Mated: An Enemy King

Preferring Solitude

I reject you Aryn...reject you Aryn... the words resounded all the way to my soul. Was I that pathetic, that even my moon goddess given mate would not want me?

"Why?" My little voice was as pathetic as I felt. Perfect for the sinister laugh that proceeded out of Eugan’s mouth. One I would have never imagined gracing the face of the gentle wolf that had brought my guard down so effortlessly with his kisses.

"Tell me, what would I do with someone like you, princess?"

Someone like me… I knew what he meant. It was a reality I could not forget even if I wanted to. A fate I had accepted, but those words coming from him were as a knife to my heart. Carving it with bitterness, the thing to give me the courage to utter the most painful words.

"I Aryn–"

I had barely opened my mouth when the most excruciating pain struck my insides, plunging me right back into the moment my world had shattered.

“Breathe, my lady.” A gentle voice cooed, drawing me out of the darkness that threatened to swallow me whole.

“Rinarii?”

"You've been dreaming again." My maid's look of concern pierced me and reminded me of my painful reality that I could not escape. Not even in my sleep.

“Thank you for waking me.” I blinked at the blinding light spilling into my bed chambers from a drawn curtain. "What time is it?"

“Except, I was not the one to wake you and it is almost noon, my lady.”

Only noon? Disappointment prickled at that. “I see.” Massaging my aching temple, I let out a long sigh before shutting my eyes again. Falling asleep earlier, I’d hoped that by the time I awakened it would be night time already. Time for me to fall asleep yet again so that I would not be forced to face all the sunshine that spoke of a bright and beautiful life when all I felt was death. “What is it Rinarii?” I barely kept from snapping at my maid whose gaze I could have felt boring into me even from miles away.

“It is the same dream.” She worried.

“Have I been talking in my sleep again?” I asked even when I knew the answer. It was always the same dream. Had been since that dreaded day and each time I’d mumbled the same questions in my sleep. I’d been awakened by the same excrutiating pain too.

“W–Wouldn’t you rather speak to someone–”

“I am speaking to you, aren’t I?” Annoyance prickled at what my maid was suggesting when I’d made it clear that I did not wish to see or speak to anyone. Waking up to all those pitiful looks from not only my own family, but a good number of my father’s subjects after Eugan’s rejection had left me preferring solitude more than anything. Partly to nurse my shattered heart and partly because I dreaded hearing what the people thought of their princess who kept coming short of their expectations. I couldn't even keep a mate! Rinarii had scolded me over it, pointing out that it was never my fault, but what did she know?

“Well, that is right and I appreciate that you, my lady, chose me to be by your side through this…uh…regrettable time, but I was referring to someone with– well, more professional experience–”

“You mean someone who can determine how far my madness has gone?”

Rinarii’s eyes went wide at my question. “Oh, my lady!” Dropping to my bed and taking my hand, she shook her head. “I would never think you’ve lost your mind. Even if I think you are allowed to be mad at that insufferable Lord Eug- I mean King Eugan!” She ended her little rant with an apologetic smile. “My apologies, my lady.”

"Whatever for?" I could admit that seeing someone else furious and hurt over Eugan's deeds was weirdly refreshing. Even if it was just my beloved maid.

"For speaking so boldly about your mate–"

"He is not my mate, Rinarii." Admitting to that out loud stung.

"Oh, but he still is, my lady."

I stared at my maid as if she was the one needing a royal psychiatrist. "And why is that?"

"Well, until you accept his rejection, King Eugan’s words mean nothing. At least to the bond given to the two of you by the moon goddess." At Rinarii's words that reminded me of the moon goddess’ trickery, my stomach coiled in a tight ball.

“That does not matter.” Wishing to escape my own maid’s intense gaze, I abandoned the comfort of my bed and walked over to one of my bed chamber’s open windows. If only I could as easily escape my own thoughts over the matter too. Despite my claims that it did not matter, I had infact tried to accept that dreaded rejection in secret. In my dreams too. But each time I'd uttered the words nothing had changed. The pain still remained, eating at my heart and soul like the plague.

"Oh, but it does, my lady.” Rinarii argued with more conviction than necessary. “If my lady hadn't, well if you hadn't been too shocked at his words, you would have–"

"I’ll have to see him again.” I cut my maid off knowing exactly what she intended to say. “And that in Leif." After what had happened, there was no way father would allow Eugan back in Xatis. Neither would my ex mate answer to being summoned by his pathetic mate. And Eugan being Xatis' enemy aside, father wouldn't allow me to travel that far either.

Each option had left me with no hope of getting rid of this curse. “Perhaps I could write him. I could have a messenger deliver it to him.” I looked to Rinarii, but my maid’s solemn gaze swallowed up all the hope that had bloomed with that thought too.

“I do not think it works like that, my princess.”

“Indeed, it doesn’t.” A familiar soft voice agreed.

“Queen Shyla?!” Rinarii straightened up and bowed in greeting while I felt my throat close up at the sight of the figure to have entered my chambers. I would have run to them too as I had done countless times before when my sad little self had needed comforting, but I stayed rooted on my spot, barely keeping at bay the tears I knew would spill if I ended up in those familiar arms.

"You left me no choice." My mother stood in the door way, a regrettable expression on her beautiful face.

"I'm surprised it took you this long." I sighed, turning my gaze back to the world outside. Without thinking, I’d chosen the window that overlooked the path that led to the cave holding the most intimate of my memories. It was the most painful sight, but somehow I found myself right back here time and time again.

"Xatis is always beautiful this time of day." A sigh of contentment escaped my mother's lips as she took her place next to me.

"It is." I stepped away from the window and settled back on my bed, bracing for my mother's scolding over my decision to stay hidden in my room and keep everyone out. Thankfully, it never came. Instead the graceful queen of Xatis followed suit and walked back to my bed, a smile on her beautiful face.

“I know how much you like stories, so allow me to narrate this one.” Mother sat next to me and pulled me into her embrace, the warmth their in rousing my sadness.

“I do not wish to hear it.” I sniffled as I laid my head on her laps, knowing which story she meant to narrate. Hers and father’s story was filled with pain, perhaps more than what ailed me, but it was the most beautiful love story told around the palace. I’d heard it from everyone else, except from them. I knew what her intentions were with her decision to tell it to me now and on any other day I would have welcomed the glimpse of hope, but not today. Eugan’s disdain was forever burned in my soul. He did not want me and I didn’t need to torture my poor heart by promising it something that would never be.

“Sing to me.” I felt my mother stir, obviously surprised by my request. I hadn’t asked that of her in so long after being the one to stop her when I'd considered myself too old for lullabys. Then I’d thought I did not need mother’s soft voice to lull me to sleep. I was only a few moon birthdays then and thought I could take over the realm.

I didn’t feel so confident now. Did he know? That he had taken my confidence with him? When he spat those hurtful words, did he know how deeply they had sunk to shatter my once brave self?

Mother’s song swept through my heart and only then did I understand. As the chosen, she could not only compel other wolves to obey her, this was the reason her voice had always been so comforting. She’d let her gift soothe everything in me all those years ago, making me bow to her will. If only she could do that for me today. It was tempting, but I felt it, her desire not to shield me from the pain of it all and I was grateful for it.

“Will you speak to your father?” Mother suddenly asked. “He misses you.” She added when my answer to her question had been a mere hesitation.

“I–”

“Xatis misses its princess and we have all missed you, child.” Liira strode in, cutting off what would have been another reluctant answer. I was still mad at my father. Even when I understood his reasons for betraying me, I couldn’t bring myself to face him. Because then I would be forced to face another heartbreaking truth.

“You haven’t been sleeping.” Liira observed with concern while my other two grandmothers came in right behind her, all carrying a platter of food. After spending my time alone nursing my wounded soul, their presence felt like an invasion and I was tempted to blame mother for it, but I knew that it was bound to happen. It was already a wonder they all had let me be for this long.

“Come, eat.” Both Sarabeth and Florithe practically snatched me away from my mother before shoving me to a seat. “We brought all your favourites.”

“Now will you tell your dear grandmothers all about it?” Liira, always the leader of the pack, did not waste time before addressing the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry, grandmother, but I don't think I wish to talk about…that." It was lovely that they had all flocked to comfort their poor granddaughter, but it didn't mean that I wished to indulge any of them.

"Good."

"Good?" I couldn’t hide my surprise. At the very least I expected some encouragement to let out what was ailing my heart, but Liira did not even hint at any of that as she reached for a piece of fruit on one of the platters. Pointing at me with it, she grinned.

"It means you are ready to make the trip to Leif."