Mated: An Enemy King

Poisonous Ecstasy

“Your presence wouldn't have mattered, your highness.” Zakariel’s words were meant to comfort, but that was not what I sought at the moment. I needed to feel it. All of it. The sting of death that had sent all of my people’s blood draining right through the treacherous land of Xatis. I needed to feel the bite of my defeat that had been brought about by my own doing.

“How many?” I growled, but my second in command only held my gaze, his lips pursed. Even when my claws rested on his throat, Zakariel was still bent on saving me from the pain of it all, which only angered me even more. We’d stopped in the middle of nowhere and even with the threat of being persued by the armies of Xatis still looming, I’d stopped, wishing to know what Zakariel refused to spill. He’d fought me for that knowledge, but deep down I knew it’d been his way of having me vent of my anger in hopes of accomplishing the same thing…comfort. Unfortunately for him, I was not fooled or rather I had no desire to be comforted and the more he fought me, the more I let my anger soar.

“How many?!” I bared my canines as my claws dug into his skin, but the bastard did not even flinch, a quality I was always proud of when he displayed it, but one I loathed at the moment. “Damn it Zak!” Frustration nipped at my insides. “They were my men and their blood is on my hands. You can’t–”

“Even then, I do not think any of that will help matters, your highness."

Help matters? I was not looking for help either or for anything to ease my heart. Their deaths were on my hands! I needed to feel that loss. Needed to– “I should have been there, damn it!” I hissed. With me by their side, even if the armies of Xatis had risen like the flood that it was, my men would have prevailed. I would have ensured it. For the men who’d sworn to stand by me till death, those who'd been ready to grant me my revenge, I would have.

“This is by no means your faul–”

“Don’t.” I glared at my best friend. “Don’t you dare say this was not my fault!” The attack on my men was a freaking ambush, but that was nothing new. I’d walked into plenty of those. Both against formidable and not so formidable enemies and still came out unscathed each time. I’d brought out alive every wolf to walk into one of those with me too. The attack in xatis would have been no different. If only my head had been in the right place. If only I had not fallen for her undeniable beauty and charm. If only I had not been so stupid. Years worth of careful planning foiled by my stupid desire…for her.

I'd never slept so deeply before, not even as a child. And yet by her side, I’d slipped right into dreamland without a care in the world and my men had been the ones to pay a heavy price for it. I could never forgive myself for not coming to their aid, which as their king, as their alpha I would have if only– I cursed every inch of me that had been lost in the poisonous ecstacy granted by my enemy.

How would I explain it to their families? How would I stand before my parents and confess to having broken my promise? That I'd failed them yet again? When this time I was not that incapable boy, but a fully fledged king. How would I tell them that I’d let the spoiled inexperienced spawn of the enemy beat me because I let myself be trapped by her sweetness. The mere memory of it stung. What would have made for hot memories to be savored in the confines of my heart, slapped me with failure each time they surfaced and it was the thing to renew how much I loathed her for it.

“Your majesty, Lord Zakariel…” I let go of Zakariel and swung my gaze to the spy and scout charged with reporting on the success of the secondary part of my plan. Despite the first part of it having been foiled, I’d ensured that everything else remained in place and was excuted as intended. Or so I hoped.

“Speak.” I all but growled, not caring that at the moment I was displaying my own worries. I would not forgive myself if that part of my plan had failed too as it would spell a loss too great to bear.

“Lord Koberic and everyone with him are safe and sound. Your diversion was a success. He awaits your arrival.” At the report, relief uncoiled some of the chords of tension to have tightened all around me. Going up against Elian and his guards like that was more than risky, but I knew it to be the only way for those who'd stood closer by me to escape.

Escape… I hated the sound of that as it made my feelings of impotence stronger. Escaping was not what we should have been doing if only I'd stuck to my own plans. Mate or not.

“What of the princess?” I was about to dismiss the guard when Zakariel asked that dreaded question.

“You do not have to answer that.” I hissed, yet not because I did not care, or did not wish to know, but rather because despite everything that had transpired, my wolf and foolish heart still wished to know what had become of her. The vision of her crumbling body at my words, her look of betrayal and loss that I should not have cared about after rejecting her, were like poisonous briars, prickling my soul and tainting it with their poison with each memory. I couldn’t let my head be filled with anything more to do with her.

“With all due respect, your majesty, whether the princess lives or dies will be of great consequence to the peace in Leif and as head of the king’s guard I cannot simply ignore this piece of news just because my king wishes not to hear it.” That was not the reason Zakariel was asking either and we both knew it. He cared for her too. I had seen it the moment he’d placed himself in danger for her sake. He didn’t have to, but even without me confirming it, his wolf had known who she was to me. Who she had been.

“We ride at once.” I roared, dismissing the guard and ignoring Zakariel altogether. The change of clothes he’d forced me to have once we were far enough from the palace was about the only thing I would be tolerating from him.

The sound of jubilation and trumpets as we rode through the gates of the capital of Leif had me gritting my teeth. Those cries should have been sounds of victory and my entourage that only consisted of me, Zakariel and a few guards should have included every wolf whose death hung over my head like a cloud. Even if none of my people except my council knew about the attack I was to undertake against Xatis, their joy would have sufficed as sounds of victory if all had fallen into place as it should have been. I cursed myself yet again for my failure.

“Your majesty, the royal carriage awaits.” Zakariel who’d chosen to remain silent on our long ride back to Leif suggested, but I only scowled at him. He knew very well how much I loathed moving in the lavish thing.

“Your countenance I’m afraid leaves much to be desired, I’d rather your people were not subjected to it.”

“Fine.” I gave in, but only because despite his very honest opinion and the scolding tone underlying it, I agreed with him. I was not exactly in the mood to indulge in the cheer of my people at the sight of their king. "Have the council meet me at the chambers."

"The council chambers, your majesty?"

I arched my brows at Zakariel's knitted ones. "Will that be a problem?"

"Of course not, but I'm sure Lady Darla will be awaiting your arrival at the castle. Wouldn't you rather see her before anything else? Considering your pending engagement ball has been awaiting your arrival."

"No." I answered, surprisingly. I was still committed to Darla and she would have made a perfect distraction too, but for the first time I did not wish to see her. Besides, there was no time like the present to forge a completely new plan of attack. Xatis would still suffer the wrath of my revenge.