wishing on a shooting star

  I was in the library and reading the book of Emily David about the "Meaning of life". I was spending my whole break time here. It was an exact place to for me. There are students here also pero i feel I'm all alone. I wasn't lonely because they don't want me. I was alone because it was my punishment to all i have done to them. It was my personal choice because i am not a perfect friend to anyone i will only just cause trouble to them. i look to my wrist watch and it's only 5 minutes before the break time is over. I start to organize my things and start to walk.  My classroom is in the second building and this library is in the first building . While walking i remember the old days were i was walking with them and laughing. Those good memories will only stay as a memories cause it will never gonna happened again. Unconsciously i reach our classroom and walk were my chair is located and sit . I look to The window and appreciating the peacefulness and calmness of the trees dancing because of the air. The discussion started and today our last discussion is science class. Teacher discuss the Legend of shooting star. We usually watching the star together but now were not able to do it again. "I'm hoping that you will do this assignment and pass it on Monday, okay class dismiss" today is Friday and teacher gave us an assignment an essay telling what is the wish we want to come true. Today discussion is over, i start to organize my things and ready to go home. When three of my classmates girls come to me "hey Maquia do you want to come with us ? May new cafe sa tapat ng school." one of them ask me "sorry, may gagawin pa ako" and they go,  I was walking in the oval ground this is were the sports tournament happened it was huge and i love to walk here everyday before i go home, I was busy exploring the oval ground with my own eyes. When suddenly i smell a familiar scent.I look straight, It was him he got taller he was handsome as always. I want to hug him and tell him to come back to me but i have no courage to do that. To all the things i have done to him i  have no courage to talk to him and to say sorry. We usually happy together but now we are completely stranger, nakalampas na sya sa akin and here i am nakahinto at nakatingin sa likod nya wile he was walking.  I miss you so much, I miss our hang out. nag lalakad lang ako everyday para pumasok at umuwi dahil malapit lang ang schol sa house namin. nadadaanan ko lang din ang dating school namin nong elementary were everything started. Hindi ko mapigilan ang hindi tumingin kapag nasa tapat na ako ng school. It reminds me all the happy things. Were we are happy chasing each other, playing and hang out in our favorite place kapag walang ginagawa. I wish my life is different , i wish my life come back when i was in elementary. I'm in the our house right now, no one is here as expected my parents broke up i'm living with my mother pero nasa states sya dahil sa work nya. I was lonely in school and i was also lonely in our house. kakain ako mag isa, matutulog ako mag isa at gigising ako ng mag isa. This is my life after that incident happened. I was in the balcony of my room, napakaganda ng langit ngayon napakadami ng star. I remember our assignment, what should i wish? There so many things i want to  wish. Should i wish to Elidjah come back to me?  Should i wish that my parents love each other again? Should i wish that my old friends forgive me? It so frustrating! I get my phone and log in to my i********:, I scroll it up and suddenly i felt sadness when i see their photos they were happy drinking, they all there including Elidjah. I was also in there squad before, but now I'm here lonely and no one to with. This is my punishment and i should live with it forever. When i focus seeing there picture i saw a familiar girl, she was sitting beside Elidjah. She was not part of the squad. I think i already see her, pero hindi ko alam kong saan. Think.. Think.. Think... " Oh my God" i react She is the girl who ask me earlier, my classmate. Why is she with my squad  I mean  my old squad? Why is she sitting beside Elidjah?  I had an idea pero please sana hindi iyun totoo. I can't , Hindi ko pa kaya hindi pa ako nakaka move on. I wan't to call him maybe he din't change his number already. but who am i to do it ? Why i always wishing that Elidjah should come back to me , eh hindi nga pala naging kami Yeah, we don't have any romantic relationship niligawan nya ako noon pero ang tanga ko hindi ko sya sinagot kahit mahal ko. Mahal na mahal , siguro dahil ayaw kong masira yung frienship namin yung squad namin,Elidjah and I were in the same circle of friends. He tell me he love me pero dahil duwag ako I run and from that day i always want to avoid him.  I did't realize that my tears is falling. Why ang gaga ko noon? Why ang duwag ko noon? Why hindi ko kayang mag desisyon para sa sarili ko? why?????