Stranger Next Door

CHAPTER 17

Bigla akong natigil sa pag iyak saka galit na nilingon siya.

"Bakit? May dapat ba tayong pag usapan?" I acted like a cold one.

Pagkatapos ng mga nangyari, hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa rin bang ituring siya na kaibigan.

"I just wanna say sorry. Alam ko napakarami ko ng ginawang masama sayo. Nasaktan kita pero sana..." he started crying.

I'm just staring at him because even me, I don't know what to do. Ilang linggo na akong lutang. After of all what happened, I don't know if I can be happy just like before.

"Sana maisip mo na kaya ko lang nagagawa ang mga bagay na yon kasi mahal kita."

Doon ko narealize na, iba pala talaga ang epekto ng pagmamahal. Well, I should be happy because someone loves me truly. But not to the point that he's acting obsessed.

"Keith, if you truly love me then stay away from me." seryoso kong sabi. "Can't you hear the rumors? Anyone that stays close with me, dies."

"I'm willing to die for you. Just please, Bella. Give me a chance to prove myself." he's about to hug me but I pushed him away.

"Keith, ano ba? Tama na!" my cheeks are red as hell, I feel like I'm bursting out of anger. "If you really love me then you would be happy even the exchange for you is pain. Keith, I don't see you anymore as the old Keith I know."

Tumango tango naman siya.

"All this time, I was here. But your attention is still on Harris. Ako yung una mong nakilala pero sa kanya ka nahulog." he looks miserable right now and I felt pity for him.

But I can't change the fact that I love Harris. Hindi madaling turuan ng puso. And after what happened, I don't know if I will able to love Keith.

I've seen his worst sides, and that is an enough reason for me to not choose him. I don't even want him as my friend. Hindi ko masisi si Gwen kung bakit hindi niya rin magawang magustuhan si Keith. He's acting impulsive sometimes, and I felt scared of that.

"Keith, oo alam ko na maraming kang naitulong sakin. You're there for me since day one pero sana huwag mong isumbat. Marunong akong tumanggap ng utang na loob."

"Pero bakit kasi hindi ako?" his voice is pleasing but I didn't show any reaction to him.

"If only I can teach my heart, but my heart only screams on Harris." I tap his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

Lumakad ako palayo sa kanya. Nakita ko naman si Yani na hingal na hingal. Hinabol yata ako.

"Okay ka lang? Did Keith do something to you?" she asked and I just shooked my head.

Se was able to hug me but I pushed her. Hindi na kami pwedeng maging magkaibigan.

"Are you mad?" she asked, "Kung yung pagiging tahimik ko ang dahilan, then—"

I cut her off.

"No." I answered instantly. "You hear the rumors, right? I am cursed. Everyone who stay close to me, dies. I don't want you to die, Yani. You're the only person I have. Ate Khaytelyn died, same as Andrei and Harris. Wala na akong ibang taong malalapitan. Ikaw na lang, Yani."

She still hugged me even I'm still trying to push her away. Pinipigilan kong umiyak pero naiiyak at naiiyak pa rin ako.

Ilang linggo na akong umaakto na parang wala lang. Akala nila, okay ako but deep inside, I am dying. Especially when you lose special person in your life.

"As long as I didn't speak, I'm safe." she said.

Agad akong kumalas sa pagkakayakap sa kanya. I even stopped crying.

That means, she know something?

"What are you talking about? Do you know something?" taka kong tanong.

She covered her mouth and started laughing.

"Of course, I know nothing. Let's go back in the classroom." she was about to walk away but again, I asked her.

"Yani, do you know something?" tanong ko. "I asked Herlyn but she also didn't speak. You know, I can help you. Hindi kita papabayaan kung pamilya mo o sarili mo ang iniisip mo."

"Hindi mo naiintindihan, Bella." mukha na siyang takot na takot.

Luminga siya ng tingin sa paligid. Parang may hinahanap na kung ano.

"Tara na. Baka mamaya...."

"Mamaya, ano? Nandito yung killer?" seryoso kong tanong but like what she always did, she didn't speak. "Yani, please. Sabihin mo naman sakin kung anong nalalaman mo. Wala naman akong pagsasabihan. Gusto ko lang malaman kung sino yung killer."

"Bella, hindi mo nga kasi naiintindihan!" she shouted.

I almost frost because this is the first time that she yell at me. Ganon niya ba kaayaw sabihin sakin kung ano ang alam niya?

"Kung ganon, ipatindi mo sakin!" I also yelled back, kita ko kung gaano siya kagulat sa ginawa ko but she act as if she didn't care.

"Lagi siyang nakabantay sakin, Bella. Kahit saan ako magpunta, kahit tulog ako o gising. Hindi mo ako matutulungan dahil sa oras na may sabihin ako, katapusan na ng lahat." natatakot niyang sabi saka siya napayuko.

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya habang umiiling ako. I am really disappointed right now. Iniisip ko na lang na sana, maging okay na ang lahat.

Pero paano?

Paano magiging okay ang lahat kung sobrang gulo na ng sitwasyon ngayon?

Paano magiging posible ang hiling ko kung wala na ang mga taong mahahalaga sakin?

Paano na ako ngayon?

Everyone are throwing hates at me, as if I did something wrong.

Everyone thinks I'm cursed, but I didn't do anything.

Kung nahihirapan sila sa sitwasyon, hirap na hirap na rin ako.

Ang hirap, kasi walang nakakaintindi sa nararamdaman ko.

I heard random people laughing at me, sadgirl daw ako.

So being lonely is not normal? Being hurt by the situation is just part of what they called, "sadgirl"?

The fck, I lost my cousin.

I lost my friend.

I lost the man I love the most.

I lost my loved ones, and here I am, doing nothing but to grief for their loss.

Gusto kong may gawin pero wala akong magawa. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

Hinang hina na ako.

Pagod na pagod na ako.

"Please Bella, stop crying. It hurts seeing you like this. Bella, maybe those people don't understand what you're going through but please, please don't forget that I'm still here." she's reassuring me but that makes me cry even more, "Even millions of people throw hates on you, you still have me."

Natouched ako sa sinabi ni Yani kaya naman napakayakap na lang ako at humagulhol sa kanya.

Siya na lang ang natitira sakin ngayon.

Hindi ko hahayaan na mawala pa sakin si Yani.

"Just cry it out, Bella. Cry as long as you want. Hindi naman nakakapanghina ang pag iyak. Maniwala ka sakin, ramdam kita." niyayakap ako ni Yani, at nararamdaman ko rin ang paghihinagpis niya, "Pasensiya na, kasi hindi ko magawang makapagsalita. N-natatakot lang ako para sa pamilya ko, Bella. Ayokong mawala sila. Sana, naiintindihan mo ako."

Tinanguan ko na lang siya.

Ayokong magsalita pa.

She asked me if I wanted to go to the next class, but I just shook my head. Gusto kong ipahinga ang sarili ko sa lahat.

Pagod na pagod na ako.

Gusto sana akong samahan ni Yani pero sabi niya, mas makakabuti kung papasok siya sa next class para raw may notes ako. I agreed, and I told her that I will just for her in the canteen.

Some people are still staring at me while I'm ordering.

The way they look at me, as if I did something wrong. Before, they are praising me like I am an angel. Kulang na lang, sambahin nila ako but look, the tables had turn. All I can see from their face is disgust.

Mukha bang ginusto ko ang lahat ng nangyari?

"One mocha cake and strawberry shake, please." I said, then I noticed na si Herlyn pala yung cashier ng canteen.

She's a working student here?

"Here's your order." inabot niya sakin yung inorder ko ng hindi ako tinitingnan sa mata.

Tahimik akong naglakad pabalik ng table to eat the mocha cake I ordered. I don't have an appetite, but I still to eat. Ilang linggo na akong hindi nakakakain ng maayos gawa ng mga nangyari.

I was thinking about something when a person sit in front of me. When I checked who's that person, it was Herlyn.

"I'm sorry, Bella." she said, "Alam kong nahihirapan ka sa nangyari."

I didn't speak. Tahimik lang akong kumakain, but I can feel that she's staring at me while I'm eating.

"Bella."

"The fck, Herlyn? What do you need?!" I almost shout at her, "Can't you see that I'm eating?!"

She seems shocked because of what I said, but I still acted like it's normal to me. May karapatan akong magalit sa kanya, dahil wala siyang sinasabi sakin.

Nagmumukha na akong tanga sa mga nangyayaring 'to.

"Alam kong galit ka sakin but please, calm down. Walang mangyayari kung masyado kang magpapadala sa galit mo."

"Then what are you doing here?" I gave her a deadly look, "Gets ko na, Herlyn. Oo, hindi ka magsasalita because you want to protect your family. Go, I don't need your sympathy. I xan handle myself."

I was about to walk out when she suddenly speak.

"I'm here because I'm ready to tell everything I know."