Simula
1307 Words
Dahan dahan kong binaba ang IV in Papa. I gave it to the nurse beside me and she changed it straight away. She tried to put it back to its position but she can't barely reach it.
"I'll do it..."
"Thank you," she smiled at me and I smirked.
Lumabas nadin siya ng matapos. Mas inayos ko lang ang unan ni Papa at pinaandar ang TV para sa kanya.
"When are you gonna settle, Sebastian. . ."
I sighed heavily and sat down beside him. I know, I'm way beyond my bachelors age. Settling down is not my priority as of the moment, at my age 33, I devoted myself in making my business bloom.
Nasa akin na ang lahat, pera at karangyaan sa mundo ay meron na ako. I am the only son of my father and a successor of his wealth. A Delavega that never worry about woman for pleasures sake, it's easy for me because I can get them easily. But to settle and get married? f**k, no way!
I shook my head and pretend that I didn't heard my father. He's been begging for a heir/successor for years. Hindi ko alam, pero hindi naman mahalaga sa akin ito.
"I'm going to die, son. . . Kailan mo ba ako mabibigyan ng apo? Sana bago man lang ako mamatay, Sebastian."
"You're not going die, Papa. Matagal pa iyon," bahagya kong tawa.
He cleared his throat and his eyes riveted at me. We stared and he seems serious, I can see it on his eyes. He took a deep breath before speaking.
"I'm sorry, son. I don't want to worry you but I'm in stage four, anak."
My brows lifted while looking at him. Hindi kailanman ako pinapatawag ni Papa. Pero iba ngayon kahit alam niya na nasa New York ako ay talagang pinauuwi niya ako rito.
"Don't joke, Papa," I snorted.
"Do you think I'm joking, Sebastian? Mamatay na lang ako at hindi mo pa ako nabibigyan ng apo. Ano na lang ang mangyayari sa atin? Ikaw na lang ang nag iisang tagapagmana ko. There's no more Delavega after you," napaubo siya.
"Charles is still on," pagbibiro ko.
"Exactly! Charles is your cousin. Iba siya at ikaw, iba ka rin dahil anak kita."
"You can't buy me with you lies, Papa. Get better. Lalabas na tayo bukas," ngiti ko sa kanya. Pero hindi na siya ngumiti sa akin ngayon at seryoso na ang mga titig niya.
"You don't really believe in me, don't you? Hindi na ako lalabas dito. I'll undergo some treatment but I won't go for a chemo, dahil baka hindi ko kakayanin."
Napahinto ako sa pag scroll ng channel sa TV. Is he really dying? What the f**k! I swore in silent.
"Are you serious, Papa?"
Muli niyang binalik ang ulo niya sa unan at mukhang naiinis na. I looked at him again and he looks fine to me, except that he loose a lot of weight. Kinabahan na ako, pakiramdam ko kasi hindi na siya nagbibiro ngayon. Mom died eight years ago because of a cancer. At ngayon si Papa? No way...
Maya't maya'y pumasok ang doctor niya na espesyalista.
"Sebastian Delavega."
"Doc Martin Benson Go," sabay shake hands ko sa kanya.
"So glad to see you here. I really want to talk you about your Papa. Matigas ang ulo niya, mabuti na lang at umuwi ka."
I nodded and smiled at him. Now that the doctor is talking about it, I feel the heavy burden straight away. This is not a joke anymore and Papa is sick, very sick.
Sinama ako ng doctor sa private room niya at pinakita sa akin ang mga CT-Scan ni Papa simula pa noon. He's been seeing his specialist for more than five years and been through a lot of treatment, and now the cancer cell worsen and that it is on stage four. The only way for him is to enjoy his remaining days with his family, and that family is only me.
Fuck! Lihim na mura ko sa sarili.
It did not sink-in on me properly and I'm so confused at this moment. How could this be happening? Papa have asked for a second opinions and treatment in the other countries but he gave up after that. Ayaw na niya. He's been through that already. Kaya pala pabalik-balik siya noon sa Amerika at kahit sa China. He was doing his own treatment without me by his side. f*****g unfair!
Umuwi ako ng bahay para mahimasmasan ang init sa ulo ko. And after I cool down I went back to the hospital. It was nearly midnight when I arrived at his room. I went inside quietly while he's sleeping softly. Sa unang pagkakataon ay tinitigan ko ang Ama ko. He's old and weary, it's visible on his face. Halatang pagod na si Papa sa pakikipaglaban sa sakit niya.
He was probably holding on for me. Gusto lang niyang makita na magiging okay ako bago siya mawala sa mundo. Pinahid ko lang ang dalawang kamay ko sa mukha at pilit na pinigilan ang luha ko. It just bring back memories of Mama. The memories of losing her is the same feeling that I feel right now.
Gumalaw si Papa at nagising siya. Nahahalata niya siguro ang presenya ko ngayon na lihim na pinagmamasdan siya.
"Sebastian Steve. . . Go home, son. I'll be alright."
I stood up in silent and smile at bit. I've been thinking the whole time while I was at home. This poor old man's wish is to have a grandchild. Hindi ko ba makuhang ibigay iyon sa kanya? Umiling iling ako na kaharap siya.
"Open year heart, Sebastian. . . " mababang boses niya.
Kilala niya talaga ako. Alam niyang matagal nang namatay ang puso ko simula ng mawala si Isabella sa akin. Isabella was my biggest challenge in love, but in the end, I lost the fight to my cousin Charles. Ang akala ko noon kayang baguhin ang puso ng tao sa taong gusto mo. Hindi pala. . .
With all honestly, I am happy for them. They have their little so-called family now, at dalawa na ang anak nila. After Isabella, I had a few girlfriends. Pero 'di rin nagtagal at nagsawa rin ako sa kanila. The kind of feeling is gone, at hindi ko na mahanap ito.
"It's not that easy, Papa. . . Do you think I didn't tried? I did, Papa. . . "
Huminga siya nang malalim at tinitigan ako sa mata. Ang tanging ilaw lang ng lampshade ang nasa gilid niya ngayon ang nagbibigay liwanag sa mukha niya.
"Savy. . . Love will come when you least expect it. It will come to find you and remind you of who you are."
I smirked when I heard it from him. I know Papa hold such a big faith when it comes to love. Sa ganitong paraan kasi niya nakilala si Mama. It was late for them, but as what he always said, 'save the best for last'
I sighed heavily and nodded at him. After all he was right. . .
"How long do you think you can hold, Papa? I want you to stay longer and play with your grand kids in the future," ngiti ko.
A smile crept on his face while staring at me.
"I will hold and do my very best, son. For the sake of seeing my grand kids before I pass away," ngiti niya. Mariin ko siyang niyakap.
"I can't promise anything, Papa. But I do hope that love will find me soon. . ."
Tinipik niya ang balikat ko. "Go back home, Savy and have your rest."
Tumango na ako at maingat na lumabas sa silid niya. There must be another way of fulfilling his wishes. . . I don't know, bahala na.
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C.M. LOUDEN
- Writer
