Forgotten Angel

Chapter 1-2

I am going home, she thought with something close to glee. And right now, I don’t even care if that means I’ll have to deal with Shane.

Truth be told, she was curious to see for herself if Luke and Ryan were right that he’d finally started taking responsibility for his mistakes. Of course, if anyone called her on that, she would heartily deny it. No matter what feelings she might still have for him, she doubted she’d ever be able to trust him not to hurt her again. His track record was too full of broken hearts.

Shane parked his truck in front of the log cabin Pat and Aelissm O’Neil had purchased and renovated as an extension of their inn. It was small but more than adequate for his needs, and he imagined he’d be spending a lot of his free time lounging in one of the chairs on its covered front deck, which—like the large windows that took up most of the front wall—faced northeast with a commanding view of the Northstar Mountains. He shut the engine down and climbed out of his truck, pausing a moment before he ascended to the deck to take in that spectacular view. It was so familiar, but it was with an entirely new appreciation that his eyes roamed over the mountains and valley. He inhaled deeply, smiling as his lungs filled with the soothing fragrances of wild places, and all at once, he understood just how much he had missed home. The Bitterroot Valley was stunning, and he’d grown accustomed to it, but it never would have replaced Northstar’s place in his heart.

And yet… he’d been gone so long now that he felt like an outsider. He could count the number of times he’d been home on both hands, and on his brief visits, he hadn’t given himself the chance to get reacquainted, afraid that if he did he wouldn’t be able to gather the strength to leave again. How foolish he had been to think he should leave.

Shane set aside those thoughts and bounded up the stairs to the deck just as Pat stepped out of the cabin. In contrast to Aelissm’s blunt, somewhat chilly reception when he’d walked into the Bedspread Inn just a few minutes ago, Pat regarded Shane with a relaxed smile. Even so, Shane hesitated a heartbeat before shaking the man’s offered hand, looking for any sign that Aelissm’s qualms were shared by her husband. While Pat hadn’t gone out of his way to be friendly to Shane, he’d always been polite. But Pat was like that. A kind and gentle soul, Shane’s father called him.

“Well, this is it,” Pat remarked, gesturing for Shane to head inside. “It’s small, but you said you weren’t looking for anything big.”

“Small works well for me. And it’s actually bigger than my cabin in the Bitterroot.”

The layout of the cabin was simple. Below the loft over the back half of the cabin were a tiny bedroom with bunk beds, the bathroom, and the small but functional kitchen. The front half was an open living area with a vaulted ceiling. The couch, coffee table, and television sat to the left, and the dining table and chairs and the woodstove were to the right in front of the kitchen. In addition to the windows that made up most of the front wall, two big, square windows let in yet more of the view and light on each side wall of the living area. All in all, the cabin was quite similar to several others in Northstar, including the one Luke and Ryan Conner had built, though theirs was considerably larger with two full-sized bedrooms downstairs.

Shane stepped over to one of the front windows with his hands in his pockets to admire the view. Yep, he’d definitely be enjoying that deck… at least until the weather turned colder. It was decidedly refreshing to think that he’d be here when the seasons changed instead of landing for a day or two before flitting off again as he usually did, and a broad and unexpected smile curved his lips. He let his eyes drift closed as the smile turned poignant and a welcome peace settle over him.

“Glad to be moving home?” Pat inquired, noting his preoccupation.

“Definitely.” Shane turned his attention to the tall man. “But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be as easy as it feels like it will be right now.”

Pat offered him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry if Aeli was less than welcoming to you when you stopped down at the inn. I hope she wasn’t too surly.”

“Not really, but I’m grateful you volunteered to show me the cabin.” Shane shrugged. “I can’t blame her. She’s protecting people she loves.”

“Yes, she is, but people make mistakes, and trying to make up for them is an admirable endeavor. Takes a lot of guts.”

“I’d like to think you’re right, but it’s probably more desperation than guts. I’ll be turning thirty in March, and after Dad’s cancer scare…. Let’s just say I’ve come to realize a few things I wish I’d understood years ago.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your thirties are for fixing the mistakes you made in your teens and twenties. And your forties….” Pat grinned. “Well, by the time you hit forty, you might finally have a clue about what’s really important in life. If you’re lucky.”

“I’m not sure I deserve to be so lucky,” Shane murmured. Abruptly, he changed the topic. “You and Aeli did a great job on this place.”

“Thank you. You’re sure you don’t want us to move the furniture out so you can move yours in?”

“Positive. I’m trying to get back on your wife’s good side, and I don’t think making more work for her would be a smart move.”

Pat offered a sympathetic smile. “Aelissm will come around. If Luke and Ryan can find it in their hearts to let go of the past—and I believe they will and are—she’ll have no reason to stay mad.”

“Thanks, Pat. I mean that.”

“Well, I don’t want to keep you too long. I know you need to head in to town to visit Luke and Ryan, which I have to say makes me a little envious. You get to meet their daughter before I do.”

Shane looked up sharply. “How’d you know about that?”

“Luke told us when he called the inn a few minutes before I came up here.”

“Ah.”

He wondered what emotion had tinged Luke’s voice when he’d mentioned it, and Pat answered his unspoken question before it had fully formed in his mind.

“He sounded excited about it.”

“That was probably just his excitement about his daughter.”

“Could be, but I doubt it.”

“Come on, Pat. It hasn’t been so long since Seth was born that I’ll believe you’ve forgotten how consuming that joy is.”

“I remember it like it was this morning, and that’s why it’s even more striking that he would ask me not to keep you too long.”

“He’s probably more excited about my dad meeting his—”

“Shane,” Pat interrupted. “Just go, would you? And while you’re at it, try to remember that there’s a reason why you two were best friends once upon a time.”

Laughing a little, Shane nodded. He thanked Pat for his time and promised to sign the lease and bring it back this afternoon. Pat handed over the keys to the cabin and laid a hand on his shoulder for a moment with a keen glint in his hazel eyes that said more than any words could.

Welcome home.

Then he headed back to the Bedspread Inn.

Shane poked around the cabin for a few minutes with anticipation and nerves tingling through him until he realized he was delaying his visit with Luke and Ryan. Scolding himself, he stepped outside and locked the door behind him, then drove to the bunkhouse on the Lazy H that his father had called home since Shane had gone off to college. While he missed the tiny, one-bedroom cabin located at the foot of the Northstar Ski Hill that he’d grown up in, he was glad his father had decided to take the Hammonds up on their offer to bunk with their then-inexperienced new ranch hand Jerry Mackey. It had saved Austin a lot of money, and Jerry had been good company for him. It was possible that he’d also saved Austin’s life.

Maybe someday I’ll remember he prefers to go by Jeremiah, Shane mused.

His father must have heard him pull up because he stepped out onto the bunkhouse’s covered porch just as Shane shifted his truck into neutral and set the parking break. Since Austin was already hopping down the stairs, Shane waited in the truck, trying not to think about what that fresh pink scar above Austin’s right eyebrow represented. His father was—thanks to Jeremiah’s concerned observation—in good health with every expectation to remain so for the foreseeable future.

“You ready for this?” Austin asked after he’d closed his door.

“Not really,” Shane admitted.

His father studied him for a moment before voicing the question that had plagued Shane since Luke had called early this morning to invite him to meet his new daughter. “Is it that you don’t feel like your relationship with them is stable enough yet… or that it should be you in that hospital room with Ryan instead of Luke?”

Shane clenched his jaw. It wasn’t that he coveted Luke’s wife. He had long ago given up any right to call Ryan his, and at any rate, the same reason that had spurred him to walk away from her remained. He knew exactly why the idea of meeting Luke and Ryan’s daughter made him uncomfortable, but it wasn’t something he was prepared to share, so without responding, he backed his truck away from the bunk house and drove up the gravel ranch road.

“Can I ask you a question, Shane?”

He only nodded.

“Why now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Why did you decide to come home now? You’ve been talking about it for two years, and this is the third time a forestry tech position has opened up in Devyn, so what’s changed to make you stop talking and act?”

“You know what.”

Austin fingered the new scar, frowning. “I’ll be fine. Thanks to Jeremiah, we caught it early. A quick snip and all I have to show for it is this pretty little scar.”

“I know that, Dad. It’s just….” Shane tightened his grip on the steering wheel and glanced over at his father. Austin’s hair was now more gray then dark blond, but his brown eyes were as keen as ever. Countless hours spent riding the range under the blazing Montana sun or in the biting winter wind had etched lines into his face, most noticeably at the corners of his eyes, but none of it made him look as old as Shane had felt he was when Austin had broken the news three weeks ago that he’d had an operation to remove a spot that had turned out to be cancerous. In fact, Austin looked as indeterminately ageless as ever. He didn’t know what he’d expected when he’d arrived in Northstar yesterday, but that barely noticeable scar wasn’t it. The news that had finally shaken him out of his melodramatic stupor seemed far less shattering now. Except that he couldn’t dispel the nagging sense that too much time had slipped away while he avoided dealing with the issues that had kept him from coming home for so long.

He didn’t respond until he’d turned onto the main road through the valley. “I know there’s nothing to worry about now, but it scared the hell out of me.”

“Well, you ain’t getting rid of me any time soon, boy-o.”

Chuckling, Shane replied, “I’ll hold you to that.”