Forgotten Angel

One Becky absently hummed the national anthem along with the singer on the TV and attempted to quell the flutter of anticipation. She glanced again at her cell phone, but its screen remained stubbornly dark. Moments later, her boyfriend and his friends cheered as the singer belted out the final notes, and Becky ground her teeth as she dumped a jar of salsa into a bowl and tore open the bag of tortilla chips. Normally she enjoyed football more than Justin, but he’d used the game—his cousin’s first start as running back for the University of Wyoming—and his little sister’s volleyball game on Monday as excuses against going to Northstar for her aunt’s and cousin’s birthdays. Justin always made the four-and-a-half-hour drive out to be a bigger deal than it was, and she had resolved to ignore her irritation like she always did when he refused to visit her family… until Uncle Ben called her in the middle of the night to inform her that her cousin’s wife was in labor. Justin strode into the kitchen to retrieve the chips and salsa, and her phone blared a snippet of her favorite pop song, a tune that had topped the charts her freshman year of high school when her friendship with Luke had first sprouted. She smiled fondly and snatched the phone off the counter, not needing to see the familiar number on the screen to know it was her cousin. “You really need to update your ringtone, Becks,” Justin remarked. She scowled at him and answered the call. “Well?” “I have a daughter,” Luke replied. The pride and happiness in his voice created a distinct image of the broad smile undoubtedly plastered on his face. “And Ryan is doing great. Everything went as smoothly as we could hope.” Becky beamed. “Congratulations, Papa. I’m guessing everything went quickly, too, because Uncle Ben didn’t call me until midnight to say you’d just left for the hospital.” “I wasn’t sure we were going to make it. Sorry I didn’t call you earlier, but we didn’t get to sleep until after five this morning, and—” “I get it, Luke. No need to apologize.” “I know you said you and Justin won’t be coming up this weekend, but if you can convince him otherwise, we’ll be bringing her home on Monday, and we’d really love to see you and introduce you to this beautiful little girl.” “You know I want to be there, Luke. I really do. Maybe we’ll be able to make it up next weekend. It won’t be the same, I know, but….” “I’ll send you a picture as soon as I can, but right now, I have to go. Shane and Austin just arrived.” “What is Shane doing there?” “He’s in the process of moving back. I thought I told you that. He’s home for a visit to look for a place to rent.” “Did he find one?” “Yeah, Pat and Aeli are going to rent him the Bedspread’s vacation cabin for at least a few months.” “Damn. And the jackass gets to meet your daughter before I do.” Her words were harsh, but her tone was teasing. She might not want to have anything to do with Shane, but it was good for Luke that the two old friends were working through the issues that had derailed their friendship. She couldn’t even begrudge him his return home to Northstar, not when it made her squirm with envy and longing. With a sigh, she added, “I am missing too much.” “We keep having this conversation, and it always ends the same. Listen. If you do make it up this way, try not to be too hard on Shane, all right? He is trying.” “I’ll keep that in mind. That’s all in the past now, anyhow, right?” “Exactly.” “Go enjoy your daughter.” She bid him goodbye, ended the call, and set her phone gently on the counter, frowning as regret and anger and envy mingled with joy. She should be there with Luke and Ryan and their new baby right now, not four and a half hours away making game-day snacks for a boyfriend who ignored her need to spend time with her family. The fact that she’d let this become the status quo of their relationship only heightened her frustration, and she clenched her teeth at the thought that followed. I’ve given up precious time with my family for a man I have no plan to marry. The potent stew of emotions constricted her chest and made it hard to breathe. She tapped her fingers lightly on the counter and took several deep breaths before lifting her gaze to Justin, who hadn’t yet returned to the game. “They had a girl?” he inquired. “Yep.” She studied him for several long moments, noting the disinterested, placating smile. Why was she still with him? They’d been together for six years, and though she loved him well enough, she had never given herself entirely to their relationship. She’d done that once before and had her heart broken, so when she’d followed Justin here to Jackson Hole to take a job on his family’s ranch, she had refused to move in with him and had instead rented a tiny, one-bedroom cottage in nearby Wilson. The more important question wasn’t why she’d stayed but why she’d followed him in the first place. I was afraid my family had changed so much that I wouldn’t fit into it anymore. “I have to go home to Northstar,” she said slowly. “Luke and Ryan will be bringing their daughter home on Monday, and I want to be there.” “Becks, we’ve talked about this. My sister’s volleyball game—” “My best friend and his wife just had a baby,” she snapped, “and that little girl will never be this new again.” “Becks—” “No, Justin. We did talk about this. We decided against going to Northstar for Aunt June’s and Luke’s birthdays to save the trip until after Luke’s baby arrived so we could meet her, since it’s apparently impossible to go for both.” “I don’t remember that discussion.” “Of course you don’t. You only remember the discussions you want to remember.” She lowered her voice, narrowing her eyes as she carefully selected her words. “Consider this a conversation you’ll want to remember, Justin. I don’t care if you come or not, but I’m going home. And if you don’t come with me, I won’t be coming back.” He brushed that aside and responded with such a mollifying tone that her lip curled. “If you need to go, then go. I’m sure the ranch will survive without you for a few days, and my family will understand.” Becky leaned back against the counter, folded her arms across her chest, and glared at him. Right now, she didn’t see the rich dark hair, the devastatingly beguiling blue eyes, or the dreamy, chiseled face. All she saw was a disappointment, and she understood with a strange serenity that there was no love between them that would last. This is it? This is how a six-year chapter of my life comes to a close? Somehow, this detached, half-assed argument was a fitting end. Shaking her head, she shooed him out of the kitchen. “Go watch your Pokes.” He smiled, kissed her cheek, and returned to the living room. She stared after him for a while, pondering her options. She enjoyed her job on the Teton South Ranch, leading trail rides, showing guests the ins and outs of ranch life, and tending to the horses, but she could do that back home on the Royal R or for the Ramshorn Hot Springs and Lodge. How many times had her aunt and uncle and cousin asked her to help out with that end of the business? A slow, satisfied smile lifted her face as a refreshing calm brushed away her anger. Becky pushed off the counter, grabbed her jacket, phone, and keys, and strode through the house. “Where are you going, babe?” Justin asked. “Home.” “You’re not going to stay and watch the game with us?” “Nope.” As she walked out the door, she squared her shoulders. Without giving herself the opportunity to change her mind, she climbed into her truck and drove straight to the main house of the Teton South Ranch. It was an attractive structure, wrapped completely in a covered porch littered with Adirondack chairs and scarred, weathered end tables adorned with horseshoe art. Two-storied with eight-bedrooms and four bathrooms, the monstrosity looked every bit like a quintessential ranch house… and nothing at all like the more modest main house of the Royal R Ranch, which was similar in style but had the genuine wear and tear of a working ranch instead of the too-perfect affectation of the Sutherlands’ ranch house. Becky climbed up the broad stairs, crossed the porch to the front door, and entered without bothering to knock. Unsurprisingly, she found Justin’s parents, sister, aunt and uncle, and half a dozen of the ranch’s guests lounging on the plush, L-shaped couches wrapped around the TV in the sprawling living room to watch the Wyoming Cowboys’ football game. “Becky, dear, what are you doing here?” Justin’s mother asked. “I thought you were going to spend your day off watching the game with Justin and his friends.” “That was the plan, Sherrie, but the plan has changed. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?” “Sure, honey.” Becky led the way into the house’s enormous kitchen and turned to face her boss, leaning casually against the counter with her ankles crossed and her thumbs hooked in her pockets. “I need to go home to Northstar. My cousin and his wife had their baby… and I need to be there with them.” “Is everything all right?” “Everything is fine. I just need to be with my family right now.” “How long do you need, dear?” Becky opened her mouth, then closed it again. Was this what she really wanted? Because there would be no going back once she quit. She truly did love her job and Justin’s family even more, and maybe she didn’t think of them as her second family, but she did value their friendship, and if she moved back to Northstar, it would likely fade into memory. “I’m not going to like your response,” Sherrie said. “Am I?” It wasn’t a question. After taking another moment to test her decision and finding it solid, Becky shook her head. “I’m very sorry for the short notice, but this is it for me. It’s time to move back home to Northstar.” Sherrie studied her for a long time with lips pursed. Disappointment warred with anger and resignation for control of her expression, and Becky waited patiently while the battle played out. Finally, Sherrie asked, “And what about Justin?” Becky hesitated, well aware of Sherrie’s defensiveness of her precious son. “I think we all know it wasn’t going to last. Our priorities conflict too strongly with each other, and I’ve let his devotion to his family keep me from mine long enough.” She didn’t add that she was tired of Justin’s selfishness in other areas, but there was something in Sherrie’s face that led her to believe the older woman suspected it. After a moment, her shoulders dropped. “I was afraid this day would come,” she said quietly. “Is there any way either of us can change your mind?” Becky shook her head. “You’re not even upset.” “Not particularly. I’m disappointed, but I think this has been coming for a long time.” Glancing down at her feet, she added, “I’m sorry to do this to you because I love you all and my job here.” “But you love your family more. I can’t fault you for that.” Sherrie embraced her. “You can come back whenever you want, you know. I hope you do. I hope my son realizes what a mistake he’s made with you.” Sensing that she was walking on a thin line, Becky hugged her back and replied, “Thank you. For everything.” “Keep in touch.” Becky nodded but doubted either of them would. As quickly as she could without being rude, she escaped the house. She drove to the local supermarket to pick up something for dinner, since she had no intention of going back to Justin’s, and grabbed some boxes while she was at it. The implications of what she’d done didn’t hit her until she was sitting in the middle of her living room surrounded by half-packed boxes. At once, a broad grin curved her lips, and she leaned back with her head tilted up and her eyes closed as she reveled in the promise of freedom and fulfillment.