One day

Chapter 20

I'm Sen, one day I wanted to kick Lilith out of my room.

That day when I was talking on the phone with Sana, I thought about Lilith continuing to put the tracker on me, so lately she never asked me where I was going.

After hanging up the phone, I immediately searched my body, unexpectedly found another GPS device on my body. I was extremely disappointed, all the little sympathy I had for Lilith was ruined, I thought she was just making fun of me so I didn't mind, she was still a bad person in the end.

Lilith's pranks are terrible, I've never been happy with them, but I've always been patient and forgave her. 

For me, things a third occurrence is unacceptable.

This time I did not question Lilith anymore but decided to keep quiet, quietly collecting evidence that she was invading my privacy. So I left the locator in place again, pretending not to know and carrying it with me for the next few days.

When I got home, I didn't change my clothes but sat at the desk to do my homework, waiting for Lilith to come home from school. 

Since transferring to my school, she seems to be busier so she doesn't tease me often anymore, all she cares about is hanging out with her new friends, and it's funny when I think that then Lilith wouldn't bother me anymore.

“Oh, are you going out today?” As expected, Lilith who had just entered the room asked me this question.

As usual, I replied, "Yes, and did you have a good time at school today?"

I asked that to get her to start rambling on about her boring stories, so she wouldn't ask irrelevant questions again, the odds of Lilith telling my parents where I will be significantly reduced.

But I went to the psychiatry clinic, so she will probably hint at me going out, then I started to lose patience and of course, I'd find a bullshit excuse, from then on Lilith can guess what's wrong with me.

Lilith told everything she did at school, and when there was nothing left to say, she asked, "What about you, did you do anything this morning?"

"Me?" I rotated my seat across from Lilith, pretending to think, and said, "Actually, I'm just doing my homework and nothing else. Now that you're so free, go cook lunch."

Lilith is lazy to do housework, so of course, she won't listen to me, she just sat there and continued to ask: "So what did you change clothes for this morning?"

Only then did I get up and change into other clothes, conveniently telling her: "This morning a friend of mine from primary school asked me to go with her to a few places." Then I went back to my desk, crossed out what I had accomplished in my notebook.

“Where are you guys going? Can I come with you next time?" Lilith looked at me with sparkling eyes.

Seeing her like that somehow made me feel like I was almost out of control, my anger was boiling, making me just want to immediately kick her out. However, I must be patient, it is impossible for Lilith to find out about my intentions.

Because once she spoke to my parents first, I was definitely a bad child, maybe they even encouraged Lilith to put a tracking device on me to prevent me from skipping school. 

My parents should have been the most wonderful and loving people in my eyes, but since Lilith came, everything changed.

It seems that I am a separate individual in this family, Lilith is their child.

That's why I can only rely on my own strength to regain lost rights… I wish I could be as free as Sana, able to the freedom in this world without being controlled by the family.

But I can't be like Sana forever, I have a happy family is the complete opposite of Sana, so I have no right to say I want to be like her. Anyone who hears this must be disappointed in me, my parents always want the best for me, but I want to get out of their control.

I'm a bit sensitive these days and the constant hassles make me feel like I'm dying. Just for today, dealing with Lilith's questions had already drained my energy for a day, as a result of course I slept from two o'clock in the afternoon to two at night.

It was normal for me to sleep like that, but not for Lilith. She stayed awake until I woke up, I asked her why she did that, she calmly replied: "Your parents told you to sleep but I still think you're passed out so I'll wait and see if you really wake up. So you're really sleeping?"

“Of course, do you expect me to pass out?” I didn't want to see her at all, talking to her took too much energy so I asked her to hurry up and go to sleep.

"Okay, good night," Lilith said and lay down to sleep, she soon fell into a deep sleep, indicating that she was very tired but still wanted to see me awake.

I went to the bathroom with a cold face and looked at myself in the mirror. It's been a long time since I've faced myself like this, I wanted to ask myself, what I'm after.

I want to continue being friends with Sana but there's no denying the fact that there's no benefit for us being friends, and I want to hate Lilith but it won't do me any good either. After all, what do I want?

I always thought that I wanted to be as normal as possible, but it was so vague, gradually I didn't even know what to call a normal person. 

My mother is an ordinary person, but others say she is extraordinary, my father is also an ordinary person, but the way he defeated the thugs denied it.

And Lilith, Lilith is the only abnormal person in my perception because I don't like her, now I find her very normal.

Everything was turned upside down, only Sana remained the same. She is the most ordinary person I know, so ordinary that I always want to stand behind her, to put on my the label of normality. Just I don't know how much longer we can be friends...

After three days since I was about to kick Lilith out of my room, Lilith paid more attention to me, because I never left the house, even going to school I took time off. My family doesn't care too much about it, I want to do whatever they let me choose, as long as it doesn't harm me.

But again and again, I can't do anything but limit my movements, can only look send of to Lilith's next move. But it's not a good course of action, it's too time-consuming, and a person who considers time as a treasure like me can't stand it.

The fourth morning I went to school, Lilith was completely used to this school, everyone saluted her warmly as if she had made friends with all of them. Everyone is happy, every day going to school is really a happy day for them, even my rare friends have joined the crowd.

As for me, when I went back to school, I felt very lost.

I know, I've always been alone, but it's not like now. Or maybe it's because I didn't know what everyone looked like before, so I'm surprised now, now I'm really kicked out of the group, there's no way to talk to everyone in the class again.

Besides studying, I don't know anything about other fields, so I can't find a common topic to talk about with others, and in fact, even a boring person like me can't talk to me who.

I look out the window, remembering the days when this seat used to be noisy. When Sana was in school, the surroundings of her seat were always bustling, saying it was the loudest in the class. She and all her friends talked very enthusiastically, sometimes even bringing laughter to the whole class to help people get not bored.

Under the summer sun, she raised her voice with confidence in her voice making her glow, above all else. The scene in that corner of the classroom was vivid, in stark contrast to the stillness around me, rather dreary.

"Oh, you must have recovered by going to school today- Why didn't you tell me earlier so we could go to school together?" Lilith talked with a cheerful expression, her hair a little messy, it looked like she had run around the campus a few times.

I really want to be quiet, as long as Lilith quickly gets away from me like usual, but under the watching eyes of everyone, I respond in a friendly manner. 

So I'm imitating how people treat Lilith, and she doesn't seem to notice, making a surprised look when I talk to her.

Faced with such an incident I can only sigh, my discomfort must be hidden, and show my most ordinary side for everyone to see. So the greater my melancholy, I also thought it was a good part of my illness, assuming those emotions were a necessity.

 I imagine my current self for a bit, it must be funny, the things that make me uncomfortable but don't know how to avoid and even endure.

"The next time you use my phone during class, I'll take it without giving it back." Ken returned the phone to be seriously.

This is too much, I won't even bring my phone to school next time, let alone confiscate it again.

... okay, so today I can finish clearing the redundant data in my phone but to do that I have to wait until the end of today's class.

Time seemed to go by so slowly, I couldn't wait until I got home to turn on my phone, so I used my lunch break to check it.

It's only been a few days, but I can't remember what necessary data my phone contains, almost everything is important. I scrolled through a file of documents to find something to erase, and because bored that I kept walking around on the rooftop.

I ended up clicking on a document file I hadn't opened in a while to check it out.

"I'll be staying at Sen's house until tomorrow morning, you don't have to worry,"

It was Sana's voice, and I immediately guessed this was the conversation that night when she borrowed my phone to inform the relative person that she is with me.

I often turn on the recording mode on my phone, it's just a habit, but it helps a lot for my learning, like in recording the teacher's lecture. And right now, I have a recording of Sana's conversation with other people the day before she left my house.