Confessions of a Modern U’Makoti(BWWM)

Confession #6

Confession #6

I was stuck in the honeymoon phase, which was odd because I don’t be commitment.

Commence eye rolling. On the inside, I was rolling my eyes too. See, I’d turned into one of those sappy love-sick women. I got giddy when thinking about Aaron. And jealous when the cashier at Woolworths stared at him for too long. And for the past three weeks we’d been texting and calling like clockwork. Oh, and I’d also found myself in his bed. Hold off the judgement.

I get it. Years and years of romcoms have lead you to believe that right after meeting a guy you jump into bed with him. Although I was in bed with him, nothing happened. Disappointing right? You’ve lost your charm Thati. Well you try stay awake after your (insert a suitable label for Aaron) cooks you dinner after a long day at work and trying to handle your bridelizza cousin. It was sweet and thoughtful and had me smiling like a moron again.

That’s probably why I’d decided to make breakfast for us while Aaron went for his morning jog. Coffee and pancakes is good right? Agh, stop you’re grossing everyone out. And you’re not even his girlfriend. You don’t even want to be his girlfriend. Do you? Did I?

“Morning Tiger.” Aaron greeted as he wrapped an arm around my waist. Shocked by the sudden contact I’d accidently nudged my elbow into his ribs, a bit too hard, he groaned.

“s**t, sorry. You scared me. “I turned; facing him,“ You can’t just sneak up on people like that.” I slapped his forearm. He snickered in response.

“You honestly expect me not to touch you when you’re walking around dressed in one of my shirts?” He raised an eyebrow.

“What would you rather I walk around nude?” I queried without thinking.

His eyes gleamed mischievously. “Tiger, you wouldn’t be walking if you were nude. “ I remained speechless, Aaron’s sudden burst of s****l spontaneity had always caught me off guard. I cleared my throat.

“Anyway, I made us breakfast. But you need to go shower, you stink.” I scrunched up my nose, smelling the scent of his sweat on his skin.

“Not without my good morning kiss.” He reasoned while cupping my chin, tilting my face towards his.

“No.” I poked his chest firmly.

“Yes.” His lips brushed against him.

“No…” I whispered weakly, taken aback by look of intensity in his eyes.

“Yes. “ He spoke before pressing his soft lips against mine.

It wasn’t innocent. It was breathtaking. Aaron pressed his lips against mine with a certain type of urgency, as my fingers weaved into his hair. The pressure of his lips increasing as his hand cupped my bottom; giving it a light squeeze. I gasped allowing our tongues to caress one another.

Gripping my thighs Aaron wrapped my legs around his waist, placing me on the counter. His lips left mine, only to latch onto my sensitive neck. With his hands slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt I’d almost lost all sense of reality. Almost.

“Whoa, Aaron stop.” I’d gently pushed him backwards. “You promised we’d wait until the tests got back.” I whined faking a pout.

He huffed impatiently. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You said the static was five million people living with HIV in South Africa?”

I nodded my head as I bit my lower lip. See, I’d convinced Aaron to get tested for HIV and other STDs with me. That sounds like something someone would do if they wanted to be in a relationship.

“Okay, let me go take a cold shower. “ He tried to move out of my hold but I’d tightened my hold on his waist. He gave me a confused look. “Tiger, you’re sending a lot of mixed signals here.”

“I need to ask you something.” I bit my lip. He placed his hands on my thighs, awaiting the question. “My parents are coming up here in a few days’ time –“

“So you want me to meet you parents?” He furrowed his eyebrows as the corners of his lips tugged upwards.

“No. No, “His face fell a bit. “ Well, not yet anyway. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks. ” I amended.” It’s just that, they’re trying to set me up with one of my dad’s business partner’s son and I was just wondering… “ My voice trailed off a bit.

“Do you want to go on a date with this guy Thati?” His hand cupped my cheek and for a second he looked hurt.

“No, no. It’s just that our father’s companies are merging –“ I spoke nervously, still trying to find my words.

“So you’re going to prostitute yourself off at the sake of your father’s mine? “ I could hear the venom in his tone. Damage control. Damage control , right now!

“No, Aaron you’re not listening.” I cupped his cheeks, his jaw clenched against my palms.

“Only because you’re not explaining.” He retorted coldly.

I sighed. “I want to introduce my parents to the idea of you. But-But I have no idea how to label this relationship for them. And I don’t want to be that stupid sentimental chick who’s asking ‘what are we?’ but to avoid an arranged marriage, I guess I have to. What are we Aaron?” The amount of word vomit seeping past my lips made me want to gag, but not as much as the idea of being set up with Lesego.

Aaron remained silent for a moment before placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “You are my girlfriend. And I don’t care how rich that other guys is, if he so much as touches you. I’ll kick his ass.” Devin grinned.

I threw my head back in laughter as I draped my arms around his neck. “You kick ass? With what? Your paintbrushes?”

“Oh you think you’re so funny? Let’s see how funny you are in the shower.” With that Aaron swung me over his shoulder as he began to walk towards his bathroom. Only placing me on the wet shower floor as the shower head ran directly above me. Before a string of curse words left my lips. Aaron kissed me melting away all of my anger as he laughed against my lips.

But soon our fun was ruined. Aaron had to get to the bar for some construction emergency and I had to get back home. Kea would probably be having another bridal anxiety attack without me. But when I got back home she was nowhere to be found. Nor was she answering her phone. With the house to myself I decided I do a bit of cleaning before I went to the theatre.

Kea’s room was a mess. Knowing my cousin probably hasn’t made her bed since she’d arrived. I decided to clean it up for her. And while I was packing away her designer bags into the closet a few pink leather folder fell out of her bag.

I wasn’t usually a snoop but Kea’s sudden arrive raised an eyebrow. Her pushing back the wedding by two weeks raised a red flag and this folder was ringing alarms. The folder had her passport with an EU Visa which expires in ten years from now. An acceptance letter to the University of Cape Town’s school of law. An application form to Oxford University. A wad of both South African Rands and British Pounds and her CV. I was just about to put everything back where I found it and act as though I hadn’t found anything when I heard Kea from behind me.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She snatched the folder from my hands, anger written all over her face.

“I-I was just cleaning up, when your folder fell out.” I spoke still very confused. “What was all that?”

“None of your business.” She snapped impatiently.

“Dolly, don’t be like that. You know you can talk to me about anything. What’s going on with you? Maybe I can help?” I spoke calmly, that was the only way to get through to a pissed off Kea.

“So now you want to act like you’re my big sister again?” She chuckled bitterly.

“What are you talking about? I’ve been taking you to all your doctor’s appointments. I’ve been waiting on you hand and foot. Doing everything humanly possible to make this wedding planning go as smoothly as possible.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I’m such a burden on you. “ Her snide comments were slowly unnerving me.

“Burden? I’ve never said you were a burden. “ Something told me, Kea and I were having a very parallel conversation.

“You don’t have to say anything! Ever since I got here, you’ve been busy. And don’t you dare blame it on work, or your friends. You always used to make time for me. And now? Now just because you have that white guy following you around like you’ve got the moon in your ass, you think you’re better than me!” She ranted on, with fury in her eyes.

“Aaron? You’re blaming this on Aaron?” I asked, but she didn’t response instead she placed her hands on her hips as her eyebrows rose expectantly.

“How dare you. You think you can come into my house and disrespect me like that? You think you can talk to me about my relationship, like yours is any better? Huh? You’re pregnant and your boyfriend is using you because your daddy has enough money to buy him off-“

“Shut up!” She spoke menacingly but I was way too riled up to keep quiet.

“Oh I’m sorry princess, did I offend you? Or wait did daddy cut you off because he found out you’ve been carry that little parasite’s baby? Or did you actually think you were in love because he got you a big diamond ring-“

“Thati, shut the f**k up! Look at yourself, you’re pathetic. You think being with a white guy is going to help? For the rest of your life you’ll be known as nothing but his little black b***h. Thato and I, make sense.” I could see the tears in her eyes, she was trying to hurt me but she’d failed miserably.

I laughed. “Wait, it actually makes sense, “ I sighed, “He cheated on you didn’t he? Something tells me, he’s been cheating on your for a while though. You’re still raw with hurt, aren’t you K-“

Before I could finish her name, I felt her palm against my cheek. The cheek still stung as the sound of the smack echoed through the room. My cheek felt numb as a lone tear flowed from Kea’s eye. For the moments to follow we stood in an unnerving silence.

“I want you out of my house by the time, I get back home from work today.” My tone sounded so foreign to me, it was cold and measured. “I won’t have you disrespect me or my relationships in my house. You’re just a sad little princess who had her heart broken. Grow up. The world is filled with broken hearts Kea. I would know, Tumi gave me one.” I left the room before Kea could do much as blink.

I didn’t know where I was going until I got there. Until the empty chairs caught my attention. It was too early to be happy hour. And just when I was about to turn around and get back into my car I heard a voice call.

“Thati?” Chloe spoke, she rushed up to me engulfing me in a tight embrace. We’d grown closer since I’d started seeing her half-brother. Oh did I forget to mention? Yeah, Aaron and her are brother and sister. All jealously died down immediately after Aaron told me that.

“Hey Chlo, is Aaron around?” My eyes searched around for him only to find nothing but a few waiters shuffling about.

She hesitated. “Yeah, he’s in his office. Are you okay? “

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I couldn’t see what she could see. She saw tears streaks down the sides of my face and five fingers painted across my face and a swelling left cheek.

I didn’t knock when I entered Aaron’s office. Aaron seemed surprised by my sudden arrival but quickly brushed it off when he noticed my face. He rushed towards me, embracing me swiftly as I sobbed into his chest.

“I’m sorry, this is so stupid.” I explained as I tried to pull out of the embrace but Aaron held on even tighter.

“What the hell happened to your cheek?” He lightly brushed against burning skin before I began to wince in pain.

“Kea and I got into a fight. “ I sighed.

“About what?” He whipped away the tears from my face.

“I found a passport, a few letters and forms and some money in a folder she had. She found me snooping, and I asked her about it. Then she went on to question our relationship. And I might have said a few harsh things that upset her, which result in a slap.” I sniffed as I pressed my head against Aaron’s hard chest.

“She’s still living with you? And then she goes on to slap you? Babe, I know you love her but she’s been driving you crazy for the last few weeks, maybe you two need some space.” He advised as he began to stroke the length of my back.

“I kicked her out.” I spoke blankly.

He stilled for a moment. “You’re not just upset about that are you? “

“No.” I spoke meekly shaking my head in response. I’m upset because I feel like this is going to end like last real relationship – up in smokes and flames.

“What’s the matter tiger?” His thumb and forefinger tilted my head towards his.

I kissed my teeth. Aaron didn’t need to hear one of my sob stories right this minute. Did he? “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Thati?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Please… “ I whined lowly.

“Fine,” He sighed. “I’ll take you home, and we can watch movies and cuddle. You okay with that?”

“Don’t you have to stay here and work?” I muttered.

“I’ll be back by happy hour.” He gave me a small smile.

Movies and cuddling soon turned into a nap on the couch in Aaron’s arms. It was late. Probably beyond happy hour, he’d probably leave as soon as he woke up. So don’t wake him up. He snored lightly while the film played lowly in the background. I was just about to get up and go to the bathroom when I heard a knock at the door. Slowly sliding out of Aaron’s hold, I tip toed to the door.

Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was a mess. She instantly flung herself into my arms and sobbed. My arms involuntarily hugging her, giving her the comfort that she needed.

“I’m sorry.” Kea mumbled into my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of that.”

“Sh, it’s okay.” I shushed her, still rubbing my hands against the length of her back.

“I don’t have anywhere to go. I’ve been driving for two hours. I’m pregnant, alone and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“It’s alright. I’ll help you out. But soon you have to tell me what’s going on Kea.”

She opened her mouth to speak and quickly shut it again. “I don’t mean right now. When you’re ready.” She nodded her head in agreement. I rolled my eyes. “You know where your room is, go get some rest Dolly. “

She muttered a small thank you, before rushing to her car and getting a few of her bags. When her eyes landed on a sleeping Aaron her face fell a bit, before turning back to me with a hopeful smile. “About what I said before… He’s not using you, I think this one actually likes you for you. You should hold onto him. See, our family’s plague with loveless relationships, don’t fall into that trap. “ She said before walking towards her room.

Still stricken by Kea’s words I walked over to Aaron’s sleeping form. I sunk back into his embrace. He held onto my waist tighter this time.

“I should get going.” He whispered.

“Okay.” I clung onto his shirt.

“It was really sweet of you, to do that for her.” His hands slide down the length of my back.

“She’s family.”

“I should get going.” He repeated again.

“You said that already.” I looked up into his eyes, the green streaks had returned and his indigo eyes bore into mine.

“I’m waiting for you to give me a reason to stay. You still don’t seem okay.” His eyebrows knitted together as he drew a finger across my lower lip.

I paused, before pressing my forehead against his. Our bodies flush against each other. For a millisecond I felt vulnerable and I felt like I could trust Aaron. So I’d put my pride aside and spoke as honestly as I could.

“Stay, I don’t want to be alone tonight. ”

o