Confessions of a Modern U’Makoti(BWWM)

Confession #3

Confession #3

While social media stalking there may be a few obstacles standing in your way; your crap wifi signal, their account being private, the danger of them being notified that you’re stalking them. And yet, this wasn’t my biggest obstacle, mine was figuring out if Aaron’s surname was Gray or Grey? Not rocket science right? I’d beg to differ, it took three fully grown women an hour’s long lunch break to discover the truth behind Aaron’s surname.

“I think I found it! It’s with an ‘e’” Dimpho announced, her eyes still managed to be glue to my laptop screen. Somehow we’d been occupying Nadia’s make up department cubical, it had more space than both Dimpho and I’s working spaces.

Nadia rushed over to huddle over the small screen, followed by me. I was trying to maintain my indifference. Seeing as it was their idea to stalk Aaron, not mine. Does that sound convincing enough? Nope, I didn’t think so either.

“Did you find the i********: or f*******:?” Nadia leaned into the screen with an excited smile.

“It’s the i********:, he hasn’t used f*******: in a year.” Dimpho reported as she leaned back into the make-up stool. She smiled up at me with a satisfied smirk.

“What are you so smug about?” I asked while crossing my arms, her expression was beginning to unnerve me.

“I think a thank you is in order, seeing as I just found you a new boyfriend?” She spoke arrogantly as she herself a pat on the back. “Thanks to me you won’t have those cobwebs between your legs for much longer.”

I rolled my eyes as I spoke. “All you did was put an ‘e’ instead of an ‘a’. It’s not mission impossible moron.”

“And you couldn’t do it because?” She raised an eyebrow as she waited for my answer.

“Because I’m not interested in Aaron. Hunting him down on i********: would be a waste of my time and data.” I spoke defiantly as I leaned against wooden countertop.

Both Nadia and Dimpho seemed equally disbelieving of my statement. The pair instantly laughed.

“Thati, what could possibly be wrong with Aaron? He’s single?-” Nadia began her list of great qualities but Dimpho interrupted her.

“That means that he’s not in a relationship. Therefore you don’t have to be the side.” Dimpho teased matter-of-factly.

“And he has a job, he has a car. He pays his taxes, he’s good-looking. Oh and he lets us get drunk for free on odd occasion. And I’m pretty damn sure that will happen more often if you’re shagging him. So take one for the team.” Nadia begged with a pouty lip. I still remained unimpressed with her argument.

Dimpho sighed loudly in annoyance. “Thati, tell us what’s wrong with Aaron?” I remained silent, not wanting to address the elephant in the room. Dimpho spoke again with her eyebrows furrowed. “It’s because he’s white isn’t it?” She spoke incredulously.

I remained speechless. Take a minute to remember the conversation I just had with my parents and then take a minute to remember Aaron. It would be too much work for him. I wasn’t about to trap anyone in that mess.

“I-I-I... I don’t know. It could be.” I shrugged, breaking my indifferent exterior.

“Woah… But I’m white? What difference does it make that he’s white?” Nadia asked clearly missing the point entirely.

“No Babe, you’re Portuguese with a black ass. Plus you’re dating me, you’re more black than you think. ” Dimpho announced with a solemn look, but soon broke into fits of laughter.

“I will traap you neh?” Nadia warned before turning her attention back to me. “ Thati, what’s wrong with Aaron being white?”

I inhaled deeply before beginning my story. “ Remember when my parents came into town?” They nodded in response. “ Well, while we were at dinner my dad suggested… Wait that’s the wrong word. He decided that when I do get married, he’s going to ask for Lobola.” Before I could get to the punchline Dimpho asked.

“So? What’s wrong with that?”

“With f*cking cows Dimpz!” I added a hint of irritation to my tone, highlighting just how ridiculous the entire idea was.

The pair were silent for a while before they broke out into a fit of hysteric laughter. At one point Nadia had to whip a lone tear from the brim of her eye.

“Oh Jarrie… But that doesn’t mean Aaron and you are getting married?” Nadia reasoned.

“Yeah, you guys can just have a bit of fun.” Dimpho did a little dance to highlight what type of fun she meant.

“You don’t get it! They’re getting impatient and if I don’t start getting serious about getting into a real relationship, they’ll set me up and marry me off.” I huffed. “I don’t even want a relationship! Every relationship ends with me, a tub of ice cream and the Kardashians.”

Nadia rolled her eyes. “You’re being overdramatic. If you won’t go out with Aaron we’re going to start up an online dating profile. Do you like Tinder or OkayCupid better?” Nadia smiled already getting started on the profile.

“Not that it matters anyway. We already gave Aaron her number, he’s bound to call any day now. Especially after he sees that picture of her in the white bikini on her Instagram.” Dimpho leaned deeper into the stool, awaiting my reaction.

“You gave him my number? Why?” I shouldn’t have been surprised but I was.

“Because you’re an i***t and you didn’t. “ Dimpho spoke slowly, allowing each word to sink in.

“Oh my G*d… You guys are such as$holes.” I spoke in amazement.

“Please just look at his i********: and then you can start thanking us.” Nadia spoke confidently as she shifted the laptop in my direction.

And once my eyes latched onto the screen and my fingers onto my mousepad, I was… Pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t some teenage profile with a collection of selfies but a few really good landscape shots and a few professionally taken shots. And then there were a few shirtless… These pixels did not do him justice. He looked better in person. I tried very hard to keep my face impartial but it just wasn’t working out. I finally slammed the laptop closed.

“I think that’s enough. We’ve invaded his privacy enough.” I pressed my lips together tightly.

“Good isn’t it?” Nadia suggested.

“Above average. “ I nodded.

“You like him.” Dimpho observed.

“I don’t even know the guy.” I pointed out, “You can’t possibly like someone you don’t know.”

“Fine, you’re physically attracted to him.” Nadia countered with a smug expression.

“Yeah, sure… Whatever.” I spoke dismissively waving my hand in the air.

“Oh my G*d! Are your n*****s hard?” Dimpho announced in amazement.

“I- uhm. N-“ I paused before I spoke. I quickly pecked into my blouse to my chest. Yep… “Yeah…” I spoke meekly.

The duo jumped up and screaming and dancing ending off their rejoicing with a high five. I rolled my eyes at their reaction. It was a breezy day, of course my n*****s would respond.

“Then why don’t you guys just have s*x?” Dimpho suggested.

“Cause then we’d have to get tested and it’s a lot of commitment. I can’t just have regular casual s*x. “ I reasoned, bored with this conversation.

“Oh… Look! He followed you. And he liked the white bikini picture.” Nadia had managed to retrieve my laptop, she spoke excitedly with a wink. “I’m gonna follow back!”

“No!” I objected but she’d already pressed the follow button.

“I think he’s about to slide into the DMs.” Dimpho nudged me with her elbow suggestively.

“He’s probably been through her entire profile. He’s smart, he only likes pictures from three months ago. Thati, you need to post more!” Nadia’s eyes still remained trained onto my laptop.

“Oh, like all his selfies – the latest ones hey, then a few landscape and a handful of the bar. It shows that Thati likes a bit of everything.” Dimpho ordered excitedly.

“Oh my G*d. No! I’m not going to watch you two ruin my image for Aaron.” I slammed my laptop yet again, dragging it away from the pair. “I’m going to go to work. I’m not sure if in this episode, the lead character makes love to her long lost brother or if she kills him. I’m leaving now.” I began my dramatic exit before Dimpho shouted.

“Go to the bar tonight! He’s been waiting for you. We love you!”

“Love you.” I responded before exiting the trailer.

And when I got home after deciding the main characters fate, I did the honourable thing… I carried on scrolling through that i********: profile like my life depended on it. I was so deep in, I was looking at posts from the previous year. One thing that peaked my interest was the blond haired girl mention or at least in seventy-five percent of those pictures.

They’re either really close or just in a lowkey relationship.

I grew inquisitive and went onto her profile… After a few scrolls I’d learnt that she was at Wits University – so she was too young for Aaron, she has a boyfriend who plays rugby for the university and that she’s super close with Aaron. We can’t deal with the drama, let it go, let it flow. I tried telling myself but my phone rang.

“Hello?” I answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Nthatile? Hello?” My mother hollered from the other line.

“Oh, hey Ma.” I spoke relieved that I wasn’t talking to Aaron.

“Remember that boy who works with your father, Lesego?” She asked.

The name didn’t ring a bell but to avoid a long story, I lied. “Yes, what about him?”

“Well, when we come to visit he’ll be with us. I just thought you’d like to know. He seems like a respectable young man.” I could hear the pride in her tone, I’d have to let her down easy.

“Ma-“

“No, no buts, ifs or objections. I just thought you’d like to know. Anyway, Mpho and I are baking. I’ll see you soon. Love you.” She interrupted me, and without waiting for a farewell, she hung up.

Oh my G*d, I need to go to the bar.

For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a game plan. I just found myself at Aaron’s bar wearing my trusty LBD. My eyes searched the entire bar, no Aaron, Dimpho or Nadia in sight. I approached the bar with a slight hesitation, with my luck one of them would be lurking around the corners. Blondie (AKA Chloe_91 AKA Aaron’s under-aged bestie) beamed as I sat at an empty stool. Before her fellow barmen could assist me, she approached me with an electric smile.

“Oh my goodness! It’s you!” She spoke as though she’d been starstruck. She caught onto my confusion and quickly composed herself. “ Agh… Jammer, I just got a bit excited. See, I’ve been on your i********: two hours prior to this.”

“Oh, that’s not weird at all, considering I was on yours less than an hour ago.” I wasn’t trying to make a joke but she laughed, I went with it and laughed as well.

“I’m Chloe and I’ll be your waiter this evening.” She introduced herself, readying her pen and note pad. I was a bit taken aback by her formality but she entertained me.

“Hi Chloe, I’m Thati and I’ll be customer for the evening.” She giggled inwardly, Aaron and her can’t stop smiling can they? “Uhm, can I have a dirty martini.” I ordered.

“Anything else?” She asked with a hint of confusion.

“Nope.” I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure for this party of one, that’s it.”

She hesitated before she spoke. “I mean like, don’t you want to see Aaron? Isn’t that why you’re here?”

I took a moment to process those words. I thought I was here to get drunk, although one could argue that in my subdivision there were loads of places to get drunk. But I liked the vibe here, a dash of humiliation sprinkled with a pinch of confusion and an inkling of s****l tension.

“Hmmm, for now. Let’s get some oil into the machine and then I’ll get back to you.” I gave her a reassuring a smile but she still seemed puzzled. She then nodded her head and quickly began my drink. Moments later she placed the drink in front of me, and before I could thank her, she’d vanished.

I’d allowed the alcohol to seep down my throat -burning it with its bitter taste in the process- as I revaluated my plan or lack of. What was I even doing here? Attempting to ruin my mother’s match making mishaps. And while I gathered my thoughts I hadn’t noticed Mr Pixelated Abs exiting his office. He stood across from me, hovering over me.

“Oh hi… Wait, you own this place, I shouldn’t be a surprise. You should be saying that to me.” I raised my glass, an invisible salute.

He shook his head in disbelief. “Ah, hi… What are you doing here?”

“Well I’m here to see you, of course. I’d like to think after an entire day of liking my i********: posts you’d like to see me in person.” I smiled still sipping on my martini. “Plus you owe me a free drink.”

He chuckled lowly. “I was going to call you…” He almost sounded speechless.

“Well, your can save your minutes. Now, can we grab a table because this whole thing where you hover over me isn’t working.” It only works in missionary. Shut up! I took another sip of my drink waiting for Aaron to say something.

“How’s about my office? It’s a lot quieter.” He suggested.

“Lead the way.” I followed him. What am I getting myself into?

The office wasn’t as tiny as I’d expected it to be. With black walls and larges windows with the blinds shut. The black leather couch covered in a grey comforter indicated its function was for sleep. The dark wooden desk and floors made the room feel warmer along with the artwork.

One piece in particular grabbed my attention. A nude black women with her hair cascading over her shoulders as she lounged on an red ottoman. I couldn’t help but laugh, as I took a finally swig of my martini. This is what happens when you walk into bars alone… You get greeted by naked black women.

Aaron remained silent until I’d stopped laughing. “Oh I’m sorry. I’m just bordering insanity and while getting drunk. But it’s a beautiful painting.” I raised my hand indicating towards that particular painting.

Aaron chuckled, ruffling his hand through his brown tresses. “Thank you. You still haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?” He spoke as he slowly stood next to me, admiring the painting.

Through the corner of my eye, I noticed his stiff demeanour. I sighed. “Honestly, I have no idea.”

The statement amused Aaron. He laughed. “At first I thought I was here to get drunk but then my mind keeps doing this thing were it keeps undressing you. So I can’t directly look at you. And then I remembered how my personal life is falling apart. And I’m not going to drag you into that mess, so I’m here to tell you… You can’t like me. Or have any interest in me whatsoever.” I nodded my head agreeing with the gibberish I’d just said.

Aaron smirked. The black V-neck he’d been wearing stretched as he crossed his arms across his chest. Stop! Aaron had caught me staring at him biceps, I forced I smile reverting my attention back to his eyes. Eyes are safe.

“Do I make you nervous?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

I opened my mouth to lie. But mind games weren’t my thing and I wasn’t about to play guess the emotion tonight. “Up until I saw your i********:, you didn’t. But now after studying the tattoo on your left shoulder and bicep, I’m considerably more intimidated by you. Why? Do I make you nervous?” I turned to face him, ignoring the nude woman on the canvas completely.

He cleared his throat, before turning to face me. “After seeing you drunk, sober, in a bikini and now in that dress, I’m considerably more nervous than I was about an hour ago. So, “ He took a step forward, towards me. “You came all this way to tell me you’re not at all interested in me?”

I laughed, “I’m not sure. I feel like this was a mistake.”

He gave me a confused look. “It’s comical seeing you so unsure of yourself.”

“Trust me it doesn’t happen often.” I dismissively waved his comment off. “I should go.” I attempted to flee but he held onto my wrist.

“Oh no you don’t. Answer the question.” He demanded playfully with a lopsided grin.

“What question?” I asked masking my humiliation.

“Are you interested in me?” His eyes were changeling but his smile was playful, an oxymoronic face.

I paused for a moment, attempting to collect myself. “I am but-“ I would have explained my situation but Aaron chose to speak.

“It’s not a marriage proposal Thati, it’s a question. And if it’s any consolation I’m interested in you as well.”

Well…

“Great story Aaron. But before I pour myself another drink, I think I should go. I need to assess what the hell just happened here.” I cleared my throat as I made my way towards the door.

“We just avoided weeks of mind games. And I’ll escort you to your car.” He pulled open the door for me.

“That isn’t necessary.” I tried to exit the room but he placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Course it is.” He smiled as he closed the door behind us.

I forced a smile as I felt his hand slide down the column of my spine resting on the small of my back. I exhaled a deep breath at the action as I began to speed walk through the bar to my car. I couldn’t find my keys any faster, once I opened the door Aaron posed another question.

“Do you want to get dinner some time? “ This halted my plans to leave as soon as possible.

“Did you just ask me out? Like on a date?” I spoke dumbfounded.

“I guess, I just did.” He shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

“Ah, Aaron-“ I was about to let him down easy the whole I’m not ready for a relationship speech but he interrupted me with a peck on the cheek.

“Don’t make your decision just yet, you yourself said you were bordering insanity. I’ll call you. Night Thati.” He smiled as still held onto my door.

“Night Aaron.” Was all I could utter, still shaken by his lips. I quickly scurried into my car as Aaron shut the door. He smiled before waving me off.