Heart Of A Lycan Prince

7.

SHERNEIL.

I hate flights.

Especially this particular flight.

Or perhaps I hate it more because I haven't been myself. Because as stupid as I was, I had let go of my control and done something that I am currently regretting.

Something I shouldn't have. Something like having s*x with my mate. Ugh! I hate this stupid mate bond. I hate feeling like I have no control over my actions or responses. I hate not being in control of myself. And that is exactly what the bond is making me do.

The plane landed a few minutes ago. I checked my luggage before finally trudging to the gate. There are only a handful of people around and that might be because it was still quite early in the morning.

I shivered a bit as a cool breeze wafted through, and for just a moment, I regretted my choice of clothes. I wore my usual knee length ankara gown. It is sleeveless, a polka dotted blue and white ankara. I left my braids down without packing them into a bun, like I usually do. Why? Because that damn man left hickeys scattered all over my neck.

I sighed, tapping on my phone and waiting for Natasha to pick me up. We spoke last night and I decided that I wanted her to pick me up instead of Ammi. Because Natasha wouldn't treat me like a fragile glass about to break.

She never did. That is one of the reasons I am actually comfortable around her. Why I value her friendship, despite the fact that she is the Queen. Natasha made sure that I don't see her as just my queen, but rather, a friend I have come to appreciate over the two years I've known her.

I shifted my weight again and I couldn't help the uncomfortable strain between my legs. It reminded me of what I have done. Again.

And the reaction of the man, who unfortunately, is still my mate afterwards. Why does he have to act this way?

Heck, I shouldn't even be thinking about this now. It's all I spent last night doing, and yet, I can't help it.

Mav had already made his real intentions clear. He doesn't want me and he never will. Last night, I had pushed him into doing this, thinking I would have the upper hand. But oh man, was I wrong. I didn't have the upper hand, nor did I have the control over everything like I wanted to. I didn’t have control over anything.

I ended up being controlled. Being used. Then cast aside like the unwanted mate I am.

Even without openly voicing it, Mav’s actions already told me how much he doesn't want this bond. But the most confusing part of this is the fact that he doesn't want to let go either, despite what his actions show. He refuses to reject me, nor will he let me reject him.

Why continue to hold onto something you don't even want? It makes no sense whatsoever, and that only confuses me more.

‘As much as I want to stay mad at him, I can't deny that the s*x was the best we've ever had!’ Robyn huffed, pursing her mouth before she swiped her tongue over her snout. She has been grumbling ever since he left, or to put it correctly, she has been mad.

Mad that we enjoyed it. Mad that he made us feel that good. And mad that he was so nonchalant about it.

‘Yeah. And that sucks.’ I grumbled.

I did enjoy it and I had no problem admitting that. Only, I would never admit it to Maverick. Not in this lifetime, nor in the next. Never.

‘It was good,’ I murmured again.

‘The best, Sher. The. Best. Ever.’

I sighed, massaging my temples to ease the tightness. Damn it! Why did it have to be so good?!

‘Not horny anymore, I suppose?’ I teased.

‘I think I am even worse now. I was horny over something I had never had so good. And right now, even though I am thoroughly pissed, I want a taste of it again. But, not the expense of meeting that jerk with a goddamned handsome face and thick body. Damn, Sher, tell me I wasn't the only one who lost it when I saw all those inky swirls?’

A small laughter escaped my throat. I covered my mouth with my hand and pushed my suitcase to the other side with less people. The airport was not overly crowded today, and I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that people are waiting for the last two days before the ceremony to start arriving.

‘Well, truth is, I never knew I liked tattoos until I saw them on him.’ I answered truthfully. I mean, it's just Robyn, there's no point lying or hiding what I truly felt.

‘Such a shame that he's such a fvckfaced dickhead,’ she cursed colorfully.

Okay, Robyn is definitely pissed. She never curses unless she's pissed.

‘I mean, who in their right senses wouldn't want us as mates? Beautiful, gorgeous, independent woman with a great IQ, a sense of responsibility, and a quick witted wolf with enough horniness to last us for all of eternity. I mean, we really are the full package, and yet, Nyala thought it was a good decision to pair us with a selfish i***t like Maverick as a mate. Such a shame, a damn shame, Nyala.’

Yes, to everything Robyn said. Every. Single. Thing.

‘You'd think that he's sane enough not to do this, and to be honest, I assumed he wouldn't leave that way. While I personally think something is amiss somewhere…’

‘Nothing is amiss anywhere, Robyn. All there is to this is simple, he doesn't want us. His words and actions were loud and clear.’ I cut her off.

The image of him pushing off of me as soon as we were done and showering still wouldn't leave me. It's as though he was eager to wash off any part of me that stuck to him. To get rid of me. To show me how unimportant I was to him. As if I was just one of the many other women he had probably slept with. After all, he was an escort.

Somehow, the whole thought was unsettling. And that stuck harder than I wish to admit.

‘The next time I see him, I don't care about the situation, I'm ending whatever the hell this mate bond is. There's no point holding onto something with no value. Not even a bit.’

Robyn went quiet and I didn't care to ask if she was okay. This is more about me than her. I take the hit more than she does. If that means I need to take this decision into my hands, then that's what I will do.

I am rejecting him the next time I see him.

‘You did good yesterday, albeit almost panicking and losing it all, but you did very well. I loved seeing you take what you wanted. I loved seeing you put yourself first, before anyone else. You did an absolutely wonderful job.’

This. This is one other thing that I absolutely love about Robyn. The pep talk and confidence booster. The constant reminder that I'm doing good. It is honestly one of the things keeping me going. She helps me navigate and stay grounded.

‘Thank you, Witty wolf,’ I laughed softly, loving the sound of it.

‘Yup. Witty. Sexy. Gorgeous black furred wolf with a sassy mouth and a sharp mind.’ Robyn said, shaking her fur, which to be completely honest without being biased, is the most beautiful fur I had ever seen.

The ping on my phone stopped me from answering and I looked down quickly, hoping it was Natasha.

But it wasn't. It was the last person I was expecting to text.

Maverick.

‘Trust you are good (you should be, after the earth shattering orgasm I gave you last night). How was your flight? Take care.’

Fvcking, shitfaced, stupid orge of a man! I cursed quietly while Robyn started a very loud explicit monologue in my mind. Before we could discuss how to feel or respond, someone called my name from up ahead.

“Hey, Sherneil!”

I looked up to see Natasha taking long strides towards me. She was dressed in her usual flappy ankara gown, while mine was knee length. As I prefer. She has a wide beautiful smile plastered on her face, the same type of smile I am struggling to learn.

This wonderful woman, who is the Queen of Deshtu, is not just a queen but also my closest friend.

“Your majesty,” I bowed playfully, as she finally stopped before me.

“Hey!” She shrieked, pulling me up, “are you trying to draw attention to us?!”

“Am I?” My lips quivered a bit as I managed a small smile. “Well, I think it is a crime that they aren't recognizing that their amazing queen is here to pick up one of her citizens.” I stated simply as I looked around to see if anyone recognized her.

Yup. They did and everyone was bowing.

Natasha simply waved at them all and pulled my hand. “I'm only here to pick up my friend so I don't need the attention. How was your flight?”

“Boring,” I replied with emphasis. “I was damn eager to get off the plane and just be home.”

“You missed me that much, I suppose?” She grinned as she led me to a white BMW.

“Or, maybe I miss your clumsy passes during training,” I answered.

Natasha paused in her tracks, placed her right hand on her chest and gasped. “You don't say! My passes have drastically improved since you left.”

“Really? Well, let's hope so. I can't wait to see just how much you've improved.”

“You're about to be surprised,” she said as I opened the back door and dropped my suitcase in just before I pulled the passenger side door open and took my seat.

The car smelt like her and was a perfect reflection of her personality. I've gotten used to her picking me up during my trips, but I still can't help feeling a bit special that the queen is doing this for me. Taking time away from her busy schedule and duties to be here for me.

“You managed to come alone today. It is a surprise to not see any guards lurking around.” I commented once she sat down, and ignited the car.

“I gave a stern warning to both Aiden and Kane. I made it clear that if they sent anyone to follow me, there would be consequences. I wasn't kidding.”

“A queen needs her guards, though. They are only trying to keep you…”

“Shush!” She cut me off, glaring at me playfully, “I'm not a queen here. I'm just a friend who went to pick up her friend. Simple as that.”

“I forgot how stubborn you were,” I murmured as music floated into the car. It was one of my favorite songs by Psqare. ‘Forever.’

I leaned my head against the headrest and sang along quietly, hoping that would be enough to distract the rage gnawing at me over Mav’s text. The audacity of him. He keeps doing this and that makes me hate him more and more, even if it's the last thing I wanted to do. But he wasn't giving me any choice and I'll be damned if I allow myself to get drawn deeper into the mess this is turning out to be.

I'm ending it. The very moment I get the chance to.

“Home, right?” I heard Natasha ask.

“Yes. Ammi is waiting. I’d love to go to the facility first, but I'm certain Ammi won't have it.”

Natasha laughed. “I bet she won't. Plus, I want you to rest first before you drown yourself in work. You need to tell me all about your trip.” She sounds so excited. “Soo…how was your trip? Did you have fun?” She prodded.

I didn't want to talk about my trip, though. Not with what I had done. Who I had seen. And certainly not discussing any of it with his closest companions. While they might be my friends, they are his family. I am certain it would be completely uncomfortable.

Natasha may be his sister-in-law, but a lot of us know how much he adores her. He treats her as if she is his baby sister. I am not about to spill anything to her about him.

Not that I even want to.

“It was fine,” I answered, keeping my gaze fixed on the trees swishing past us as she drove.

“I see,” she says quietly, a moment of silence stretches between us, leaving only the soft notes of the song from the car speakers keeping us company, before she spoke again, “I need a new playlist recommendation from you. If you don't mind, of course.”

“Of course not. You know I enjoy doing that.” I replied.

“Thank you! I have a little surprise for Aiden and your music recommendation is never wrong. However, this time, I do hope you won't mind teaching me a few of those dance moves of yours,” she turned to face me at the same time I did and we smiled at each other.

Dancing.

Another thing I thoroughly enjoy other than work, football, and music. I love dancing and I made sure to learn different sorts of dance to blend with every song that I listen to.

Including the romantic songs that involve two people. Thing is, however, I've never actually danced in front of an audience. Natasha saw me dancing, accidentally, when she visited me a few months ago.

“I'm not sure I'm ready for…” the loud shrill of her phone ringing cut off the song playing, which stopped me from completing my sentence.

“Sorry. It's Aiden. I need to answer this.”

“Go ahead. Don't let me stop you.”

“Rabin Rai,” Natasha said as soon as she answered the call through the car bluetooth.

“Hey Nala,” the king's voice floated through, reminding me of the sound of someone else's voice. “How are you?”

“Geez, you overprotective man. I left just a few minutes ago and you are already calling to check on me?”

“Why? I'm just asking if you're good. Have you picked her up?”

“Yup. Already on my way back home.”

“Alright. Drive safe, Nala. Do not speed like you always do these days. Help my raging heart and drive safely, please.”

“Speeding is fun, you big buff. Anyway, stop distracting me. I'm driving. It isn’t safe to be distracted by talking on the phone, you know?” She teased him, a small smile dancing on her lips.

I couldn't help the tug in my chest as I listened to them speak. Cracking jokes and laughing together. It was hard not to imagine myself with someone who truly values me doing this. Maybe someday.

Or maybe not. Maybe Nyala will grant me a second chance?

At that moment, I decided to reply to his text. If for no other reason than to show him that I don't give the slightest s**t what he does with himself.

‘Considering the fact that I sat close to a gentleman who knows the value of a woman, I had an amazing flight. I would appreciate it if you stopped texting me.’

No idea why I typed that response, but I don't regret it. Not even a little bit. Then I did something stupid, again. I switched off my phone completely and threw it directly into my handbag.

I'm done with his s**t for today.