Chapter Five
1705 Words
"Dark magic?" I snort, "What is he, some prince?"
Stop asking about him.
I scold myself but keep staring at the picture. I notice something. He's got a scar - it's a small, deep line running over his eyebrow and I relive I've bent over the picture so much my nose is touching Miley's phone screen.
His eyes are...
He is ... he is ...he is
I pull back immediately so hard the chair creaks. What was this voice? Was it my wolf again? It can't be. It feels more like I'm developing a personality disorder rather than "connecting with my wolf, " or however they call it.
I need to sleep more than two hours tonight.
"Uh, yeah, kind of."
Miley answers my question "he actually is a royalty, and..."
I roll my eyes and wave a hand.
"Whatever, I don't want to know."
"He's just out of everyone's league, unless you're royalty too. And even then..."
Miley says and puts away the phone, locking it. “ So no boring Kyle, anyway. He will never compare. I’d rather die without a mate than not be with who I want. “
“ That's why I don’t date. "
I declare and she laughs.
“You don’t date because most guys are actually scared you’ll kick their ass. “
“I know, right?”
I say proudly and lift my coffee cup.
“No one’s beaten me. “
“You kind of had to…”
“Had to what?”
I ask as I place my cup back on the table.
“Be stronger than most of us. “
She smiles and the smile slowly fades as she realizes what she's just said.
“I’m so sorry, Kaya, I didn’t mean to say that, and sorry for reminding you of …”
“No worries. “
I smile, “My mom raised me and my brothers all by herself, the only thing I needed to do was train and be stronger, it wasn’t that much of a sacrifice. “
“It’s still more than many of us had to do when we were kids.”
I am just about to tell her something I had been planning to tell her anyway, when she quickly says.
“ But yeah, sorry I mentioned your father… “
“I keep having this dream…”
I blurt out and Miley stops. I don’t know why I said it, but it feels like a relief to say it.
“What dream?”
I glance back out of the window.
“That he is somewhere there. Alive. I actually don’t know if that’s my father, because I only hear a voice, but it’s that strange feeling when you dream you know, as if everything happening there, in your imagination, is so real, or has happened before, that…”
“That it’s like something from another life?”
She was watching me, expecting, and I pause. She was right- it was so simple when she said it, that I smiled at my best friend.
“Exactly, yes. “ I nod and fix my eyes upon my now empty coffee cup.
“Maybe it’s your mate?” she jokes, “Maybe it’s his wolf calling you? This is what you’ve been dreaming about. And not your dad?”
This time we both laugh.
“Nah, “ I say, “I am sure I don’t have a mate, anyway. “
“You know you do. Everyone does.“
“And they’re most likely living somewhere on the other side of the planet. “
“Have some faith in the goddess. “
“In the goddess no one’s ever seen? Right. Besides, my father was supposedly my mother's mate and look what happened. He left. Now he is dead. I don't even remember him. I actually have no clue what happened. ”
"I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. You can't miss or feel bad about something you don't know or can't remember. "
I say above the rim of my cup, going for a sip, although I know pretty well I’ve finished my drink.
“But even if you meet them,” Miley continues, ” Even if you meet your mate, you’ll probably kick him before he even approaches you. “
She is trying to cheer me up. She always does, no one can be upset or serious with Miley for too long and I smile.
“See? That’s why You are my soulmate. You just know me too well. “
And she does. No one will ever know me better than Miley. She is my sister, even though we’re not related by blood.
We keep joking and talking about nothing in particular. I soon forget the guy with the intense dark gaze and in the meantime, my wolf has quieted down.
We chat a bit more and until I realize it’s gotten dark outside and we have to go.
***
Storm. Everlasting darkness. Cold. This time it’s raining so heavily, the water forms a wet curtain right in front of me and I can't see anything ahead and beyond it. It's an unpenetrable wall I can't move past and beyond, but I can't go back either.
It’s quiet, besides the raindrops pattering on the tar- black asphalt road.
Then I hear a voice, right inside me.
“He’s here.”
she whispers.
She?
I look around, trying to see something- anything in this darkness and endless storm, but there is no one.
The voice is inside me.
I stop where I am and place my palm over my chest. I feel the thundering pulse of my heart, hitting itself in my ribcage like a trapped bird and I am doing my best at ignoring the pain, as I try to reach the voice.
“Is this you?”
I ask, carefully. Slowly. As if underwater. In a funny way, I am underwater.
“Are you…are you my wolf?”
I stay there, in the middle of what I am assuming is some kind of street in the pouring rain, most likely talking to myself. My hand is shaking, but I try to steady it by pressing harder, the heartbeat drumming underneath still loud and steady.
My clothes are so wet they are heavy on my back. But I am not running this time.
It’s like I know I can’t run away, not this time and not because of the storm.
I try again, pressing my palm even harder.
“Is this you?”
There’s a slight stir, it’s a flutter living in that same chest I am pressing my hand upon- a bird’s wings, beating their feathers inside me. I feel it- right beneath my palm, under my skin. The flutter is me.
“You are the one, “ the voice whispers, “And he knows it.”
I try to speak, or ask a question, but then I know something’s changed- she is leaving. I don’t know how or why, but I somehow know it- she is leaving me. And she was here only for a moment.
My fingers are now digging my flesh, I am trying to catch her, to stop her from disappearing.
“Please, stay for a bit more, “ I am pleading, digging my nails harder, until I feel the warm , thick and somehow soft liquid running down my hand and mixing with the cold, sharp raindrops.
“Wait!”
I scream, but she’s gone.
I am alone in the middle of the endless dark.
***
I sit up in my bed and run my hand through my damp hair. My hair’s grown a bit in the past months and it almost reaches down my waist.
“I should cut it. “
I mutter in the darkness, leaning back on my pillow, trying to shake the dream off and calm my thundering heart.
***
Five months later
Exactly five months later me and Miley are sitting opposite each other, in that same cafe we usually gather at.
Not that there are many places we could go in this town, anyway, but we always sit here before and after a big event.
Today is the biggest day of her life so far. To some extent, it’s an important day for me too.
“Ready?”
I ask, looking over at her, where she is sitting tightly in the soft armchair, clenching the response to the application letter.
Miley is quiet, then she looks up at me, still silent and nods.
“Okay, let’s do this. “
The paper in her hands is damp because of all the clenching of her fingers around it. Mine seems intact, but I know the answer to the application. To be honest, I am nervous because of her, actually.
As far as me and my future are concerned- well, you know how things are.
“Okay.”
she exhales slowly and carefully unglues the top of the envelope.
I tear mine and take out the piece of paper. She takes the sheet of paper too, but so slowly I swear I can hear her heartbeat from where I am sitting.
We promised each other that we wouldn’t be talking about the application in those five months that passed, and we wouldn’t think of what would happen if one of us gets in- meaning- we wouldn’t discuss how shitty I’ll feel once my best friend leaves town and goes on with her life, while I stay here and bus tables.
“Please, goddess, let her get in,” I think. I am not much of a believer, but this time I am honestly praying. “Please, I will do anything, “I go on addressing whoever is above- or below -'' Miley worked so hard, she deserves this, I will do anything. Just this one wish. I’ll come to the festivals in your honor and I will never again say anything against you… You have my word, when have I lied to you, please..."
I open the letter and Miley does the same.
My eyes skim the rows.
Oh, no…
no...
this is not real....
“Oh no…”
we both say at the same time, looking up from the papers and the envelopes we’ve been clenching.
- Writer
