Chapter One
Darkness. Freezing cold and no directions.
The snowflakes are falling, stabbing my skin as if daggers are piercing through it. I can’t breathe, my lungs are frozen and I don’t know how much longer I can go on. I slow down and I take a frantic look around.
Nothing.
The sky is a black hell above me.
The ground is an icy nightmare below my freezing feet.
I feel the cold sweat trickling down my spine and I clench my teeth against the shiver that runs down my body.
I am dressed, my arms and legs are covered, but it feels like the chilling wind is running right through my fur.
My fur?
Has my wolf taken over?
No, she can't have. It's too early for that. My wolf is not ready. I am not ready.
“You can’t stay here.”
I hear the noise directly inside my head, the voice as if echoing in my skul and my heart speeds up. It’s a voice- soft and calming, as if made of velvet, promising me comfort I can rely upon.
It’s a voice I know, but can’t remember why and how.
“You can’t stay here, Kaya. “ he goes on. “You just don’t belong here. You should go, before…”
“Who are you?”
I whisper, but no response comes.
I keep hearing the voice, forming sentences and telling me I have to run and I begin looking around even more frantically.
“Hello?”
This time I ask out loud, the words burning my throat and my voice echoes above the raging snow storm and above the otherwise sleeping nothingness.
“Who Are you? Where am I?”
I am shouting until I can no longer breathe and until the cold freezes my limbs to crawl up my chest.
And then I am choking, my body falling down to the ground.
***
“Kaya! You’re late!”
My mom’s voice rings above the silence and my sleepiness.
If she is actually yelling, since she never does, that means I’m super late.
I’m also in So much trouble and my best friend is going to kill me, because I promised- no I swore- to be on time for the exams today.
“s**t. “
I jump out of my bed, stumbling over my books, lying scattered all over the floor. I tried to study last night, although that didn’t last for too long.
“Kaya!” my mom calls again,” The exam starts in less than an hour!”
“No, no, no…”
I keep muttering while looking around for my T-shirt . I find in the nightmare which the floor of my room is and I get dressed as quickly as possible.
My mom keeps calling me.
“I’m coming!”
I yell, running down the stairs.
“I’m here.”
I announce as I finally land in the kitchen where my two older brothers are fighting over who to drive me to the school exam hall.
And by arguing, I mean bribing each other, because neither wants to take me.
“I’ll give you a 10 if you take her. “ Travis sinks his hand in the pocket of his jeans, already looking for his wallet.
“Come on, “ Brandon, my older brother groans- “I drove her last time, you do it. “
“But I have to train with the rest of the pack. Yesterday we…”
“And I have to go to work, “ my older brother interrupts and they keep arguing as I glance around for breakfast. There’s none left after them.
Thanks, family.
“Whatever, “I mutter as I watch them being so invested in their rejections that I feel like they’ll soon actually get physical and shift right then and there.
My brothers are big, strong asses when it comes to doing something they don’t want to do.
I’ll just go by myself, why am I even bothering to wait for them to decide who’s driving me to school.
“I’m off.”
I grab my jacket and head towards the door.
“Wish me luck. “
“Wait, “ my mother calls from the kitchen before I got the chance to slam the door in my brothers’ faces.
“Wait, Kaya. Where are you going?”
She comes to stand in the doorway, hands on her waist, looking between Brandon and Travis.
They both fall quiet, immediately.
“The two of you promised you'd take your sister to her exams today,” her voice is quiet, composed and calm. Even. She’s angry. My mother doesn’t tolerate someone not keeping their word, it’s something she always taught us.
“I’ll take her. “
Brandon takes the key to the old, rusty truck and comes after me.
“Let’s go, Kaya. “
He opens the door for me and after mom has wished me good luck a few times- although it’s useless and I’ll Never get in the school I’m applying to, my older brother and I head to the car.
***
“Don’t be mad,” my brother says as I slam the door shut and fold my arms, leaning back in the seat of the old truck. It’s early and the car has been outside all night, so it’s almost freezing, even though it’s not winter yet.
We live in the mountains, though, as mornings are always spent with a pinch of chill in the air, no matter what the season is.
“I’m not mad, “ I say, looking ahead at the empty road, wrapping my jacket tighter around me.
The fogs have started falling thicker and heavier now that summer is over.
“You are, “ he says, but he can tell I am not mad for real.
“Nervous?”
He asks, and I shake my head.
“No, I don’t care about the exams. “
“Well, you should.”
My brother says as his hand slides down the steering wheel and he guides the truck along the road and soon takes a sharp turn very smoothly.
“But you never went to college.” I try to argue.
“I’ve never been good at school and I’m needed here. Besides, I am the head of the family. “
“And I’m not needed, is that it?”
He lets out a slow exhale and looks at me.
I knew it. They just don't want me here and are all looking forward to getting rid of me.
Who wouldn't anyway in their position.